Be with Me

by Jules Bennett

  “What? Oh, no. Nothing like that.” She pulled in a shaky breath, then shook her head and glanced away. “This is harder than I thought.”

  Unable to ignore her obvious turmoil a moment longer, Tanner reached out and pushed a strand of honey-blond hair away from her cheek. He feathered his fingers along her creamy skin. Call it masochism, but he couldn’t resist. Maybe if she realized he actually did care, she’d relax.

  Bright eyes flared, desire stared back at him for the briefest of moments before she blinked it away and took a step back.

  Apparently she’d wanted to remove herself from his touch. Tanner understood. He didn’t like it, but he wasn’t about to say anything to make her even more skittish. He respected women, and Melanie deserved for him to be completely attentive to what she came here for. Which meant he’d have to rein in those heated hormones.

  “You know, I don’t expect anything,” he assured her. “Sure, I invited you over in hopes we’d pick up where we left off six weeks ago. I’ve been busy with work or I’d have asked you over sooner. But if you’re not into—”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter Three

  Great things never come from comfort zones.

  —Mel’s Motivational Blog

  Okay, maybe she should’ve given some sort of lead-in announcement before the big one, but Tanner had been rambling and she needed him to just shut up for a second or she would’ve lost her nerve.

  He was certainly quiet now. In fact, he looked like he was about to pass out. She’d never seen the color leave someone’s face so fast. Considering Tanner was one of the most confident men she knew, that was saying something.

  With a shaky hand, he reached up and gripped the newel post. His skin slowly regained some color, but his jaw clenched so tight, she worried he’d crack teeth.

  Melanie didn’t know what reaction she’d expected, to be honest. Right now she couldn’t tell if he was shocked or angry or a healthy dose of both. The silence seemed to grow heavier, or perhaps that was just the tension that had enveloped them.

  In the short time she’d known him, she’d never seen him so still, so silent. What was he thinking? Was he just as freaked out as her? Was he trying to process the full meaning of what she’d said? Had he even heard her? Because the lack of actions and words from him had her wondering if she needed to repeat herself.

  Tanner’s dark eyes held her in place, pinning her by the front door. Ironic, considering this is the only room of the house she’d been in. Melanie couldn’t even turn and look at that large oak door without heating up again. Quite a different circumstance being here this time than just over a month ago.

  “The baby is yours,” she added, just in case he was about to ask that question. “I just found out this morning and I didn’t think telling you when I saw you earlier was the time or the place.”

  Tanner blinked. “A . . . baby.”

  “I understand if you don’t want any part of—”

  “I used protection.”

  Melanie swallowed and folded her arms over her chest. Confrontation always terrified her. Well, not when she’d been battling cases for others. She thrived on being the voice for people who couldn’t speak for themselves. But when the confrontation spun in her direction, she started to revert back to that abused housewife who’d lost her voice and her courage.

  She’d worked diligently since her divorce to get over those insecurities, but she worried she might never. That woman lived deep inside her, no matter how hard she tried to eradicate her. There was always that sliver that bobbed to the surface when she least expected.

  Melanie’s heart kicked up, her stomach tingled, her palms dampened.

  If Tanner got angry, she’d leave. If he accused her of lying or sleeping with someone else, she’d leave. She was only here to tell him the situation, and what he decided to do with that information was totally on him. But she would not take the brunt of harsh words or accusations. She was much better than that and he would have to deal with his own issues without pulling her into his fears. She had her own.

  “We did use protection,” she agreed with a slow nod. “Obviously it didn’t work.”

  Tanner’s eyes narrowed as he raked a hand through his hair. He muttered something under his breath before he dropped his hand and sighed. “You’re sure it’s mine.”

  Melanie gritted her teeth and counted backwards from ten . . . twice. Hadn’t she already told him this baby was his? Her ex had accused her of cheating on him before. He’d made a fool out of her in front of her friends—the ones he’d approved of, of course—during a small lunch at her house. He’d humiliated her, claiming she’d been seeing one of his assistants behind his back. There was no way in hell she’d let another man accuse her of something she didn’t do.

  “Considering you’re the only man I’ve slept with in the last two years, I’m pretty sure.”

  Tanner propped his hands on his hips. “Considering I barely know you, I had to ask.”

  Okay, that was a fair statement on his part. Still, she didn’t want this situation to turn ugly or blow up into an argument. She’d had enough altercations to last a lifetime.

  She totally got that he was shocked. Since she’d only taken the test twelve hours ago, the full reality of the pregnancy hadn’t taken ahold of her, either. Other than a missed period, she had no symptoms.

  Melanie stared at Tanner another minute before turning and heading into his living area. She hadn’t ventured this far into his home before, and now she couldn’t even appreciate the charming old house. Maybe later, once her head wasn’t spinning and her stomach about to revolt. Pregnancy or nerves, she wasn’t sure, but she felt like hell right now. Maybe morning sickness was settling in? No, that didn’t make sense. It was late in the day. Did morning sickness make other appearances?

  There was so much she didn’t know. She’d been an only child, never had a friend who’d been pregnant, hadn’t been around expectant women. How in the world was she supposed to cope or even figure out what was going on when she was completely and utterly clueless?

  Her world had tipped completely on its side and she was struggling to right it. But she would. At this point in her life, she knew she could bounce back from anything.

  Melanie sank to the edge of the leather sofa and dropped her purse to the floor by her feet. Now that she’d told him, she could breathe a little easier . . . though the color still hadn’t fully returned to his face.

  The tension coiling in her lessened, now that the secret was out, but only a bit. There were still so many unknowns, like how he’d react once the shock wore off, how he’d treat her, if he even wanted to be part of the life of their child.

  With everything still so new, Melanie didn’t want to take what he said at face value. Once reality fully settled in, Tanner could always change his mind, and saying something and doing something were usually not one and the same. She’d found that out firsthand during her marriage.

  Tanner came in and stood near the wide picture window overlooking the front yard and tree-lined street. Silence remained heavy between them, making the tension thicker by the second and doing nothing to calm her erratic nerves.

  Melanie pushed her cuticles back and stared at each finger, moving from one to the next. She had to be doing something, anything other than wonder what was going through his mind. She wanted to offer some brilliant words that would ease his worry, that would ease her own anxiety. There were none.

  The fact was, they’d created a human and right now she had no clue if he even wanted to be part of the baby’s life when he was barely a part of hers.

  Neville had only wanted children so he could use them as a publicity ploy. Everything circled back to how he could make himself look better. Having the so-called family life with the smiling wife and properly mannered kids would only boost ratings for a man running for any government office.

  Much to his disappointment and rage, she’d never carried his child. He’d never remarried, ins
tead focusing solely on moving toward his goal of the senate seat . . . all alone.

  Her life with Neville had scarred her, shaped her in a way that affected each decision she’d made since living twenty-four months and eight days of pure terror. But the marriage had been over for a few years. Still, her experience was never far from her mind.

  “We don’t know each other well,” she started, now picking at her pale pink nail polish. Jade would be irritated Melanie was ruining the manicure she’d just given her. “I acted so out of character when we were at the bar. I just . . . I let Livie and Jade talk me into going. I’d had a terrible day. Then Livie ended up leaving with Jax and Jade was dancing with some guy I’d never met. I wanted to ignore consequences and merely go with what I wanted.”

  She didn’t need to mention her hours prior to the outing had been filled with fielding calls from her ex’s assistant. His damn assistant. Apparently Neville wanted to meet with her, but Melanie wasn’t about to give in to his crazy. Never again.

  He’d left a veiled threat via his assistant, but Melanie had heard nonsense like that since she left him. He knew full well who held the cards now that she didn’t let him control her. With her pack of photos and proof of the abuse, he’d do best to remember who had the bigger balls here.

  Neville wasn’t her problem right now . . . or ever again as far as she was concerned. No, Melanie needed to figure out Tanner’s role in her baby’s life. Did he even want a role?

  “I just wanted to get out and have a good time,” she went on, still keeping her eyes on her hands. She couldn’t quite look him in the eyes for fear of what she’d see staring back. “Then you flirted with me, asked me to dance, and I thought, why the hell not. I didn’t expect . . . well, everything that happened after.”

  Their chemistry had taken over, consuming them. They’d barely spoken a word, their touches and long stares spoke louder than any words could.

  Melanie hadn’t bothered fighting the attraction, the pull toward Tanner. She’d wanted to prove that she was in control of her world, of what happened. That was the whole reason she’d left her old life, to stand on her own two feet and call all the shots.

  But a fling? One hundred percent not her style. Yet Tanner had sparked something in her from day one . . . something she’d yet to label. So what if she was human? She’d wanted him, and after two years of no sex, plus years of bad sex before, she decided it was well past time to take charge.

  Still, why did she have to be pulled toward powerful men? They both worked in a world where they held so much control, both were confident, assertive, and bold. She couldn’t help but compare the two, considering she hadn’t dated, let alone had sex with anyone since her divorce.

  But Tanner wasn’t like Neville. Tanner had an ego, he had confidence, but he didn’t use either of those to force his hand and take what he didn’t deserve. He used his power to help others.

  From the time she got into town, Melanie had heard enough about the bachelor officer to know he was well-respected and admired. Neville only had the respect of his brainwashed voters, and those people didn’t know the real man behind the expensive suits and flashy smile.

  Tanner still hadn’t spoken and the silence became too much. They had to talk about this, or all of the uncertainty would surely drive her insane.

  What happened to the guy she’d known for the past several months? What happened to the self-assured, take-charge man from the bar? The fact that he still hadn’t said a word was concerning. She had no idea if he truly believed her or not, but she wished he’d say something . . . anything.

  Clearly they were both not the same characters they’d been that night. Life-changing consequences would do that to a person.

  “This situation isn’t ideal for me, either,” she added, risking a glance his way.

  His dark eyes masked any emotion he might be feeling. “You seem calm.”

  Tanner’s intense stare had her nerves swirling even more. Something dark lurked in his eyes, something she couldn’t put her finger on.

  “I’m not calm on the inside. I’m barely holding it together. When life constantly throws roadblocks in your path, you have to cope. Plus, I have to remind myself this isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me. Getting hysterical now won’t change anything and won’t help me figure out what to do next.”

  Tanner leaned his shoulder against the wall next to the window frame and hooked a thumb through his belt loop. He stared another second before blowing out a long breath. He raked a hand down his face, the stubble along his jaw scraping against his palm.

  “Damn it, I should’ve asked how you were feeling. Are you alright? Physically? You’re healthy to carry a child to term? Have you seen the doctor?”

  Healthy to carry a child to term? That was an odd question for a guy to ask, even if he was the father. But the fact that he even asked about her specifically was a true testament to the decent man he was. He might be shaken and worried, but he cared. A part of her heart melted right there, but just because a man showed concern didn’t mean something was going to grow from this situation. She simply wasn’t used to such acts from a guy, especially one she’d only met months ago.

  Still, having a good man for a friend or an acquaintance was a far cry from having one as the father of your child.

  “I haven’t seen the doctor yet,” she supplied. “I called my doctor back in Atlanta to try to get a referral here in town. I mean, I plan on staying here, so it just makes sense, but I didn’t know who to go to.”

  There was just so much to consider, and she was still trying to get her feet under her in this new town. She was still living in Livie’s childhood home for now. At some point she’d have to decide what to do as far as getting a place for herself and really focusing on her future, especially now that she was bringing a child into her life.

  Neville had always said something was wrong with her that she hadn’t gotten pregnant in their two years of marriage. What he didn’t know is that she’d never stopped taking her birth control pills. There was no way she’d want to bring a baby into that loveless, abusive marriage. His political aspirations weren’t her concern, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to let an innocent child be used as a pawn in his game.

  If he had found out what she’d done, Melanie would have surely paid the price. Taking the risk and lying was her only hope of saving an unknowing baby from growing up with that monster as a father. It had taken Melanie a long time to conjure up the courage to leave her husband. But the idea of staying and enduring more abuse, mental and physical, was worth all the risk.

  She’d started running a few days a week as a way to clear her head and think. He hadn’t liked that. Hadn’t wanted her to better herself or lose weight and attract the attention of others. He’d gushed in public over the fact his wife had a law degree, and what a power couple they could be together. But, behind closed doors, he hadn’t liked that one bit. She was too smart, too threatening to him, because what if she came across as more powerful? Neville’s insecurities where she’d been concerned were absolutely preposterous.

  One day something clicked for Melanie after reading an article online about loving yourself before you could love anyone else. Right then and there, she had decided if she didn’t put herself first, nobody else would. Sure as hell not her husband.

  And when she realized she did want to love herself first for a change, that’s when she started gathering information and formulating a plan to get the hell out of that marriage. A risky move, but one she had to take if she ever wanted a new, happy life.

  “I don’t know what your expectations are of me.” Tanner crossed the room and came to stand in front of her. His eyes never wavered, but that muscle in his jaw ticked as if he was trying to keep his emotions in check. “But I will be part of the baby’s life.”

  A bit of stress slipped from her. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  Even though they didn’t know each other really well, Melanie knew Tanner was a go
od guy. There was no disputing his reputation as an officer. She couldn’t help but worry, though, because there was still so much about him that was kept in the dark.

  She’d thought she’d known Neville pretty well when they’d married, but once they were bound together, he instantly transformed. It was almost like some switch had been flipped and he’d gotten exactly what he wanted.

  Being married to such a powerful man left her questioning everything. She’d thought Neville was her way out of the poor, depressing life she’d led. She’d been young and impressionable and honestly thought he cared for her. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

  Melanie was a different woman than she had been. Life lessons had forced her to grow up, to face the harsh realities. The ugliness of her marriage, the behind-the-scenes in politics—she’d learned too much in such a short marriage.

  Tanner was powerful in his own way. Now her one night of throwing caution to the wind and taking what she wanted had bound her to him for life. Thankfully, she wasn’t leading with her heart like she had before. She was going into this with her eyes wide open. There would be no hearts and flowers and Tanner on bended knee extending a ring. The reality was, they’d created a life and now they had to come together to best decide how to proceed.

  Melanie might want him to be part of their baby’s life, but she wasn’t about to relinquish control and jump into another relationship. Attraction was one thing, pregnancy was one thing . . . a relationship? That was an area she wanted to avoid until the right man came into her life. She knew he was out there.

  Neville hadn’t murdered that dream. One day, she vowed. One day she’d have a husband who loved her, and a family.

  “I don’t expect you to think this is some sort of relationship or that I need to be looked after.” She had to make that clear. She didn’t want to be cared for or handled like she was going to fall apart. “I won’t exclude you from anything regarding the baby.”