1983: Cruel Summer (Love in the 80s #4)

by Amber Lynn Natusch

  “I guess.”

  “Does that mean you didn’t have a good time?”

  “It was okay,” he said, hesitating for a second. “I felt distracted the whole time.”

  “Was Tara busy giggling with her freshman friends all night? I know how much you love that.”

  “Maybe. I wasn’t really paying attention to her.”

  “That’s not very boyfriend-like behavior, you know.” As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted them. I hardly had room to talk. I’d spent the whole night thinking about my best friend instead of my boyfriend. And my thoughts weren’t very friend-like in nature.

  “Yeah. I know.” He stopped walking, and, with his grip on my hand, gently forced me to a halt as well. “I don’t really know how to say this, Iz, so I’m just going to blurt it out.”

  “Okay…”

  “Watching you last night with Shawn was torture. In fact, watching you with him for the past four months has been torture. All of it. The handholding. The playful kisses when you think I’m not watching. The I love yous…those are the worst.”

  “I’m sorry, Brax,” I started, suddenly embarrassed by my behavior. “I didn’t know that stuff upset you. I wish you’d said something. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable—”

  “I’m not uncomfortable, Iz,” he said, letting go of me to rake his hands through his sandy-blond hair.

  “Then what is it? I don’t understand.”

  “I’m jealous. Okay? I hate watching him do what I want to do to you—what I’ve wanted to do for longer than I care to admit.” I knew I was staring at him, my mouth hanging open. Even though a small part of me was elated by what he’d said, the rest of me was shocked as hell. “I know I shouldn’t—that I have a girlfriend and you have Shawn, but I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want Tara. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”

  “Braxton,” I said softly, not really knowing what to say.

  “I know I’m blindsiding you with all of this, and I’m sorry for that. I just… You needed to know, Izzy. I needed you to know.”

  “So what do we do?” I asked while my heart raced wildly.

  “That’s entirely up to you.” He stepped closer to me. The gesture did nothing to stop the pounding in my chest. “What do you want, Isadora Lancaster?” With a single step, he closed the distance between and wound his arms around my back, holding me against him. “Will you go out with me?”

  I couldn’t force words from my mouth, so I nodded frantically instead.

  Smooth move, Izzy. Totally smooth.

  “Good,” he said, lifting a hand to my face to brush his thumb across my cheek. “I’ll pick you up tonight.”

  He let his hands fall away from me and took a step back to admire me in my speechless stupor. Judging by the smile on his face, he found it amusing.

  “I’ve never seen you at a loss for words, Iz. I’m not sure what to do with it.”

  “I’m…. I’m just trying to process all of this, Braxton. Give me a second.”

  “Come on,” he replied, taking my hand. “You can process on the way home.”

  He took my hand again and led me back down the path toward the truck.

  “Last night…at the dance,” I started, hesitating after I started.

  “Yeah?”

  “You looked like you wanted to kiss me.”

  “You’re lucky I didn’t.”

  “And now?”

  He laughed.

  “Now you’re going to have to make the call that I already did, and break up with Shawn. Then you’re going to have to wait until after our first date to get that kiss. I’m trying to be a gentleman, Iz. Don’t blow this for me. My willpower is failing by the second.” He looked down at me with a sobering expression. “I’ve waited a long, long time for this.”

  I swallowed back my nerves and anxieties, and the butterflies in my stomach. He’d waited a long time for it, but so had I. I’d never thought we’d be anything more than friends.

  Soon, we’d be anything but.

  I laid in my bed and stared at that same phone on my nightstand, unable to pull my mind away from that day in the past. The day that changed everything for Braxton and me. There was no turning back after that, and I knew it.

  With that reality firmly grasped by my mind, I wondered why my heart couldn’t let it go.

  “Where are you?” Wendy chirped through the phone. “You were supposed to open with me today.”

  Oops.

  “I had a lot on my mind yesterday, Wendy. I’m sorry. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

  “Hurry up. I’ve got a line of kids waiting and ready to riot.”

  “That’s called karma, Wendy. Maybe you’ll think twice next time you decide to meddle in other people’s business.”

  The dial tone that followed my observation let me know exactly what she thought of it. I couldn’t help but smile with satisfaction.

  I took a quick shower and grabbed something to eat along the way. With my suit already on, I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. When I turned to lock it behind me, I found an envelope sticking out of the mailbox. It was unaddressed other than the name ‘Izzy’. I recognized the handwriting immediately.

  I plucked it out and held it in my hand for a moment, unsure about whether or not I wanted to open it. I could feel that there was something oddly shaped in it, and eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I tore it open on the way to my car and found a note attached to an unmarked cassette tape.

  Izzy,

  I know things aren’t like they used to be. That’s why I got you this bootlegged cassette of Bowie’s “China Girl.” They don’t make 8 tracks anymore…

  Braxton

  “Damn you,” I muttered under my breath before stuffing the tape back into the envelope. Braxton had always known me better than anyone, and the fact that in some way he still did made me insane. That and the fact that he’d come by the house even when he’d known I didn’t want to see or talk to him. It was his way of respecting my wishes but letting me know he wasn’t giving up on me. Not yet anyway.

  Most likely, not ever.

  “Sneaky bastard.”

  I hopped into my car and fired it up. For a second, I stared at the tape deck and tried to resist the urge to pop my present in, but I couldn’t. Hating myself a little for it, I pushed the cassette in and cranked the speakers. I drove to work in David Bowie bliss, a smile on my face as I rocked out to the bootlegged copy Braxton somehow managed to get his hands on.

  Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the empty lot across the street from the pool and grabbed my bag from the backseat of my car. I’d made a point to wear baggy shorts and my oversized pool t-shirt to work that day. Something about being half-naked in front of Braxton left me unsettled and the feeling annoyed me to no end. He didn’t get to enjoy how I looked in my bathing suit, even if he had given me a rockin’ “I’m sorry” gift.

  That ship had sailed long ago.

  “Thank God!” Wendy exclaimed in her overly dramatic way as I walked into the corridor. “Grab your stuff and head over to the deep end. You’re stuck there until my other late employee gets here.”

  “Fine.” I didn’t bother with a retort, just simply walked over to my station and got set up for the melee of children that were about to be unleashed on the pool. While I positioned everything to my liking, I felt like someone was watching me. Sure enough, I turned around to find Braxton staring at me from across the pool. He was heading into the women’s change room to finish up the construction they were working on.

  When he realized I’d seen him, he simply smiled and waved. I rolled my eyes, which had little impact given the sunglasses I was wearing, then sat down and tilted my umbrella toward him, obscuring his view. I could have sworn I heard him laugh when I did.

  “You don’t get to stare, my friend,” I muttered to myself, trying not to look crazy when the kids started to walk by to the diving boards.

  Three hours and a few station rotations l
ater, I was about to get my lunch break. I was sweaty and starving, and not really in the mood to be working anymore. Unfortunately for me, whether I was in the mood or not, I was stuck there until four.

  Perched high above the five-foot section, I watched the carefree kids splash and swim, carrying on exactly how one should when you’re eight-years-old and life is far simpler. I envied those kids. I would have given the rest of my college fund to have ten minutes of that back.

  My back was to the dressing room under construction, which proved to be both a blessing and a curse. Yes, I couldn’t see Braxton coming and going from the women’s room to the city truck with all the tools. But it also meant I couldn’t see him sneak up behind me and strip off his shirt and pants, then jump into the pool. That bastard had worn swim trunks under his jeans, undoubtedly to do exactly what he’d just done. I could see the satisfaction in his eyes once he surfaced from his wall to wall underwater swim. He wasn’t smiling, but there was a clear hint of amusement in his eyes. Even from across the pool, I could see it.

  Fifteen minutes until freedom, I told myself. Fifteen minutes and I could leave for thirty minutes for lunch. I pulled my sunglass-covered gaze away from Braxton’s tan, muscular body to scan my section of the pool, which happened to be pretty full. It was just the distraction I needed. I did everything I could to skip over Braxton with every pass I made, but he sure didn’t make it easy.

  Ten minutes….

  When I looked over to where he’d been lounging in the pool, he was gone. Even though I shouldn’t have, I did a quick search of the rest of the pool and the surrounding areas, but he was nowhere to be found. With a relieved exhale, I sunk back into my seat.

  Then I felt my guard stand shake a bit. I figured it was Wendy climbing up the ladder behind me to tell me something that couldn’t wait until my break, but it wasn’t. When I turned around to talk to her, nobody was there. Instead, a pair of large, calloused hands slapped down on my platform by my feet, startling me.

  “Jesus!” I cried, trying not to scream. “I’m working, Braxton. What the hell do you want?”

  “Did you get what I left you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And?”

  “And it’s Bowie. If you have to ask if I liked it, then you don’t know me at all.”

  “I knew you’d like it, that’s why I left it for you.”

  “No,” I corrected, “you left it to suck up to me.”

  “How’s that working out for me?”

  “It’s not.”

  “Not even a little bit?” he pressed, stepping in front of my stand. I hazarded a glance down at him, then snapped my attention back to the kids in my section of the pool.

  “This would go a lot faster if you’d just tell me what you wanted, Braxton.”

  “Isn’t that obvious?” he asked. I didn’t need to see his face to know that it wore a slightly pained expression. I could hear it in his voice.

  “I wouldn’t be asking if it was. And shouldn’t you be working right now? Is this how my dad’s tax dollars are being spent? On lazy town employees?”

  I could hear him let out a frustrated exhale.

  “I think we both know that your dad’s money is spent on many things, but taxes sure isn’t one of them. And, for your information, I’m on my break right now. I chose to go for a swim instead of smoke like the other guys.”

  “Your lungs thank you for that.”

  “Your sarcasm is duly noted.”

  “You still haven’t told me what it is that you want, Braxton.”

  He sighed heavily.

  “The chance to apologize? To explain? To somehow make things okay?”

  “You want a pardon, is that it?”

  “Not exactly, Iz, but—”

  “Listen. If you want to know that things are fine, they’re fine, okay? What’s done is done. What happened, happened. That’s so yesterday I can hardly even stand it.”

  “It sure didn’t sound that way yesterday.”

  “Yeah, well. If it makes you go away and let me do my job, then everything is fine. Feel better?”

  “I would if I thought you were being at all serious.”

  “I’m deadly serious. We’re fine, Braxton. Bygones and all that jazz.”

  The whistle blasted signaling a station rotation for the guards, which meant it was my turn to leave. Wendy came over to my platform and tapped my foot to let me know she had me covered so I could climb down. Braxton seemed to know enough to leave us alone while we traded positions, but the second she was all set and I was free to go, he started in on me again.

  “Izzy, I just don’t want to feel like enemies anymore. I can’t take it.”

  I stopped just outside of the pool house and turned to face him. It was almost impossible not to stare at his naked chest while I spoke.

  “We’re not enemies. We’re just not exactly friends either. Can you deal with that?”

  He smiled.

  “For now, I can.”

  “Great. Now I’m going to lunch. Go back to work,” I told him, seeing all of his coworkers returning from their smoke breaks. “I’m going to go eat.”

  I walked into the small concrete building and grabbed my bag off the hook on the far side of the room where the guards kept their belongings, then made my way out the door that led directly to the corridor. A strategic move to avoid Braxton.

  “Since we’re not enemies anymore,” he called to me, jogging around the corner to hover in the corridor with me. “I feel obligated to tell you that there’s a party tonight at Old Man Billings’ farm.”

  “Got it. Thanks,” I said, walking out toward the parking lot. A few of the younger guards had arrived—the cute female kind—and they seemed to be amused by what was going on between Braxton and me. I just wanted the whole thing to stop.

  I picked up my pace and managed to escape without any further embarrassing conversation. Once I got to my car across the street, I collapsed into it, exhausted from the entire ordeal. Yes, I’d told Braxton that we were on decent terms, which, after my night of contemplation, wasn’t a complete lie. But mostly I’d just told him so he’d leave me alone. I knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to let it go until he felt like we had some level of resolution. Did I think he wanted to be best friends again? No. Did I think he wanted to pick up where we left off? Definitely not. He knew me better than that. If grudge holding had been an Olympic sport, I’d have won the gold every time. I came by that trait fairly honestly. My father was notorious for it. Burning a bridge with him was something you never wanted to do.

  If I was going to have to see Braxton for the better part of the summer while he worked on the change rooms at the pool, then I needed to find a way to make enough peace with him that he didn’t keep pursuing forgiveness. Placating him was the path of least resistance, so I took it, plain and simple. All I had to do was sit back and see if it worked.

  After lunch, the day went far more smoothly. No Braxton ambushes, no rescues, and no Wendy getting on my case about whatever had her in a tizzy at the moment. In short, it was pretty okay.

  My time to go finally came and I rotated out of the guards, then headed to collect my stuff. I had almost entered the building, but voices from inside it brought me to a halt. Instead, I hovered just outside the door, listening to the conversation.

  “She won’t go, Krissy. She’s practically the laughing stock right now. Were you at the party that night? You should have seen her run out of there.”

  “Well, he was screwing another girl, Tess. What would you have done?”

  “I’d have kicked him in the nuts and punched her in the mouth.”

  “Whatever.”

  “And did you see how she stared at Braxton Bryant? Like she could have a shot with him.”

  “They used to be friends.”

  “Yeah, right up until he never spoke to her again. I heard he finally got between her legs and then realized she wasn’t worth the effort.”

  “You don’t know that.” />
  “I know that he dropped her like a bad habit. I know that she went to college far away from here so she didn’t have to see him. Wendy told me that.”

  “He seemed happy to tell her about the party tonight.”

  “He probably just wants to string her along and then embarrass her again. She deserves it anyway. Snotty little rich girl that she is. She probably thought she was doing charity work being friends with him in high school. And I sure as hell know that she doesn’t have the balls to show her face at that party tonight. No way.”

  “We need to get out there, Tess. We’re going to be late.”

  I heard them rummage through their bags, and knew that they were about to walk out the door right past me. They’d know I heard every word of their conversation. To avoid a confrontation, I sneaked around the corner into the corridor and waited for them to walk to their stations before heading into the concession area. The initial shock of what I’d heard had started to turn into anger. It was all I could do to keep myself from going over to Tess’ perch on her high horse and drag her off of it to pound her face into the concrete. Like hell I was too chicken to show my face at that party. Maybe I had run away from Jason that night. Maybe I was the laughing stock of town. The question was: did I care? If it meant shutting up a wretched bitch like little Tess Starkey, then no, I didn’t.

  I knew what I’d be doing when I got home.

  Getting ready for that party was all I could think about.

  Old Man Billings’ farm…

  Some shit never changes.

  I pulled up to the backside of the property that sat lower than the rest, sheltered by a thick copse of trees. It made for a great bonfire site. I’d frequented it more than a few time in high school. In a small town like Johnsonville, there isn’t a lot to do and even fewer places to do them. Old Man Billings’ farm fit the bill.

  I squeezed my silver sports car in between two hopped-up pickup trucks and wiggled my way out of the front seat, careful not to scratch my door on the rusted bucket of junk next to me. With a sigh, I turned toward the ruckus of music and laughter, and the glow of burning flames—the sights and sounds of high school memories past. I really didn’t want to be there, but I had a bottle of tequila and was as ready to party as I was ever going to be. Even if I’d wanted to bail, it was too late to turn back.