by Pandora Pine
“It might just do that, but I’d suggest talking to a speech pathologist. We’ve got one of the best ones here in Newburyport. His name is Declan O’Toole.”
That was just Remington’s luck. “You got another pathologist you can recommend aside from him?” Rem’s stomach roiled in protest while he ground his teeth together. The last person he wanted to work with Gemma, was his ex-boyfriend.
“He’s the best in the business, but I understand your reluctance.” Ben shuffled his left foot against the carpet, not making eye contact with Rem.
It didn’t escape Rem’s notice that Ben was acting cagey when he mentioned Declan’s name. He couldn’t help wondering if the good doctor was sleeping with his ex.
For the second time this morning, Rem was reminded of Roma’s request that he get back in touch with Declan. He knew Gemma deserved the best speech pathologist to help with her lisp. Shaking his head, Rem sighed. It looked like his baby sister was going to get her wish after all.
XX
Declan O'Toole looked down at his phone in disbelief. Remington James’ name flashed across his caller ID. After two long years of being apart, his ex was calling.
More likely than not, Remington’s call was about one of his students at Little Wonders. There was no way he was breaking radio silence to finally listen to Declan’s side of the events that broke them up.
Butterflies rioted in his stomach. Just play it cool man... "Declan O'Toole." Maybe not that cool. He’d just answered the phone like the man he’d spent three years with was a total stranger.
"Hi, it's Rem."
Declan would never forget Rem's deep voice as long as he lived. "Hi, Rem.” Declan sighed.
He had so many things he wanted to say, but first things first. “I'm so sorry about Roma. She was one hell of a lady." Dec cringed, not sure if Rem would be offended by his language.
Remington barked out what sounded like a surprised laugh. "She sure was."
It wasn’t until he heard Rem’s rich laugh that he realized how much he’d missed that sound. "Your eulogy was beautiful, man. Worthy of the brightest angel in heaven."
"You were there?" Remington sounded like he was taken off guard by Dec's confession.
"I loved her so much. Figured you wouldn't want to see me, but I had to be there to say goodbye to her. She was always there for me, even when I was being a total jack-off."
"Which was all the time." Rem laughed.
As much as Declan wanted to disagree with him, he wouldn't. Spending the last two years without Rem had taught him to pick his battles. Now wasn't the time to remind Rem they'd had a lot more good times than bad.
"How's Gemma holding up?" As much as he'd loved Rem’s sweet sister, he'd loved her baby girl more.
Rem let out a heavy sigh. "Gemma's struggling. I mean we're all struggling, you know?"
Dec wished he could pull Rem into his arms and hug him until his arms went numb. It was his own damn fault that he couldn't, but maybe this call could be a fresh start for them. "I know how much you love that little girl. If anyone can help with her grief, it's you."
Rem snorted before he cleared his throat. "Gemma's actually the reason I’m calling."
"Oh?" Dec hoped the disappointment he felt slicing through his heart didn't come through in the tone of his voice.
"She's got a speech impediment, a lisp, and Doctor Ben Wagner suggested you might be able to help her out with that. I'm not so sure about it, but Ben said you're the best speech pathologist in Massachusetts."
If Dec thought his heart was sliced to ribbons before, now he felt like Rem was stomping on it with steel-toed boots. He managed to hold on to his temper and that had to count for something. "I'm honored he'd recommend me. He's a great guy."
Shit! He shouldn't have said that. The last thing he wanted was for Rem to think he'd been with Ben.
The old Declan would have hit that in a heartbeat. Ben Wagner was gorgeous, no doubt about it, but even after Rem had kicked him out, throwing away three years together, Declan still pined for the only man that he’d ever really loved.
"Yeah, he is. Helped out some friends of mine a few months ago and now he's Gemma's doctor."
"Where does she go to school?" Dec figured getting down to business would be his best move and might help get his mind off his broken heart.
"She's at my school, Little Wonders."
"Who is her teacher? Nash Spencer or Patty Jackson?"
"She's in Nash's class. My friend's soon-to-be stepson is in that class."
"Ah, you must be talking about Tucker McKinnon." Dec chuckled.
"How do you know Tucker?" Rem's voice took on a suspicious tone.
"I work with another classmate of his and all she does is gush about Tucker."
"Oh," Rem sounded pacified. "Tucker is pretty much the only person who can get through to Gemma right now."
Declan was afraid that might happen. When kids lost parents, it was common for them to seek solace in their peers rather than in adults. Dec pulled his calendar up on his laptop. "I've got the 2-3pm time slot free all week. I’ve been seeing Gabby at my office on Thursdays, but if it’s okay with you, I could fit her in at Little Wonders so her mother wouldn’t have to make two stops.”
"Would I need to be in the room with you?" Rem sounded nervous.
"No." That old familiar slash of disappointment ripped through him again. It seemed like the last thing Rem wanted was to see him again.
It was the reason he’d been seeing Gabby at his office rather than at the school like he did with his other kids. "It's better if I meet with Gemma one-on-one and then after the session, I can get together with you or send you an email of my observations."
"Yeah, I can do that. Thursday works for us. Tucker's grandparents pick up both kids from school that day. So we'd be free to talk about Gemma once the kids go home."
"Send me whatever medical records Ben thinks that I should have. Do you remember my work email address?" Dec took a deep breath.
"Yeah, I'll send everything over in a few minutes and thanks. I appreciate your willingness to work with Gemma."
"Sure thing." The click of Rem disconnecting their call echoed loudly in his ear. All in all, their conversation wasn't a total loss. He'd managed to hold his tongue and he was going to get to see Rem on Thursday.
That gave him three days to pull himself together and find a way to help Gemma. Maybe seeing how good he was with Rem's niece would convince his mistrustful ex to give him a chance to make things right between them.
2
Declan was so nervous about his upcoming meeting with Gemma that he felt like he could shit a solid gold brick.
Gabby, his current student, was waxing poetic, again, about Tucker McKinnon. "Did you know Tucker's Daddy is gonna marry Mr. Spencer? If I married Tucker that would mean Mr. Spencer could be my Daddy too!"
Dec smiled at the little girl. He'd heard from Ben Wagner that Nash Spencer was off the market. He'd always liked Nash. He was a great friend to Rem and thanks to his unassailable loyalty to his friend, probably hated Dec's guts now.
Not that he blamed the kindergarten teacher one bit. Losing Rem's friends had been the second worst part of Rem breaking up with him. He knew it was silly to think, but Rem, Nash, and Knox Keaton were like brothers. It had been nice to have been part of their family, at least for a little while.
Declan was originally from Connecticut. His father was an accountant and his mother was an elementary school teacher. His father had been disappointed Declan hadn't wanted to join his accounting firm, but he'd been even more disappointed when Declan had revealed he was gay.
He'd always seen his parents as open-minded people, but apparently that had only extended to strangers. It didn't hold true for him. He'd gone to UMass Dartmouth for his undergraduate degree, going so far as enrolling in the summer program to get out of his house sooner. Following that, he’d gotten his Master's at UMass Lowell.
After spending five years in Massachusetts, he'd h
ad no desire to go back to Connecticut and the family who was happier without him.
Unfortunately, when he'd lost Remington, he'd felt that he’d lost any chance he had at having a family of his own.
After they’d broken up, Declan had tomcatted around, sleeping with any man who'd have him. And there were a lot in the beginning. It took him a while to realize that sleeping with men who weren't Rem, hurt more than being without him.
Over the last year, Declan had barely been out at all. He'd stayed in his tiny apartment listening to the crashing waves of the ocean and marathoning The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad on Netflix.
Of course, the one night a few months back that he'd gone out to the Blue Chicken happened to be the night Rem and his friends had been there having dinner. The guy he was with was one of his old hook-ups who'd texted to see if Dec wanted to get together for old times sake.
Of course the asshole was drunk and handsy. The last thing he'd seen before he'd managed to tear the guy's hands off his ass, was the hurt look on Rem's face. Nash and Knox had looked like they wanted to punch his throat out.
"Mr. Declan?" Gabby sang in her quiet voice.
Dec shook his head to see the small girl staring at him curiously. "Sorry Gabby. I was thinking about Mr. Spencer being your Daddy if you married Tucker."
"That's okay. I like to daydream too."
"Let's get you back to class, okay?"
Gabby hopped out of her chair and walked beside him all the way back to her classroom.
Dec's stomach did flips when he walked back into the classroom with Gabby. He waved to Nash who was sitting on the floor reading a book to the kids.
Gabby ran to the empty spot on the rainbow reading rug next to Tucker who leaned over to whisper something into her ear.
He loved seeing that Gabby had such loyal friends. That little girl needed all the love and support she could get. Her father had abandoned the family and her mother was barely getting by.
"Hello, Mr. Declan." Nash greeted, setting the book he was reading down on his lap.
"Hi, Mr. Spencer." That wasn't so hard, was it? He knew Nash well enough to know he wasn't going to be a dick in front of a room full of five-year-olds. "Gemma, are you ready for your meeting with Mr. Declan?"
Gemma's eyes went wide with fear. She shook her head no, sending her dark curls whipping around her face.
Tucker shot Declan a grumpy look and crossed his arms over his T-Rex shirt. "Why do you need to have a meeting with Gemmy?"
Biting his lip to keep from laughing, Declan tried to think of something appropriate to say to Tucker.
"He's really nice, Gemma," Gabby offered.
"Tucker, why don't you walk Gemma to Mr. Declan's room? Then you can come back for the rest of the book." Nash smiled.
Tucker hopped up and held his hand out to Gemma, who didn't hesitate to take it. "I'm staying with Gemma until she's not scared anymore." As if his word decided things, Tucker tugged the little girl toward Declan.
Before he turned to head out the door, Dec couldn't help but notice Nash struggling not to laugh.
**
Declan's room was set up for other outside educators. Occupational therapists and social workers also used this room for their students. He led the kids to a small table with kid-sized chairs.
"Gemma, can you say the word school for me?" Declan smiled at the kids as they settled in to the chairs.
She looked at Tucker, who nodded his head in encouragement. "Th-chool."
Declan nodded. He had a feeling Gemma had a frontal lisp. Her pronunciation of the word along with the way her tongue stuck out between her teeth confirmed his diagnosis. "Tucker, did you hear the way Gemma said school?"
Tucker nodded and reached out for Gemma's hand.
"That's the reason Gemma needs to meet with me, so that we can correct her tiny speech problem. There’s nothing wrong with Gemma’s mouth or tongue, it’s just how she pronounces words with an ‘S’ sound. I need to help her practice making the ‘S’ sound a habit.”
The little boy seemed to be studying Dec before he turned back to Gemma. "That doesn't seem so scary, does it Gemmy?"
Gemma shook her head, but refused to look up at Tucker.
"We'll meet two days a week just like I do with Gabby. What do you think of that?” Dec studied the child. She was clutching Tucker’s hand like a lifeline. This version of Gemma was the complete opposite of the girl he’d known three years ago.
With Rem being so close to his family, Declan had spent a lot of time with them as well. Gemma had always been the life of the party. Her laugh was infectious. Declan found that aside from missing Rem’s famous long hugs, he’d missed Gemma the most when they’d broken up. Seeing the little girl as a shadow of her former self broke Declan’s heart.
XX
Remington was half-listening to the conversation between Peg McKinnon and Nash. He thought she was inviting him and Gemma to Sunday dinner at their house. “I’m sorry, Peg. What were you saying?”
“He’s just a bit distracted now that Declan’s in the building.” Nash elbowed his friend and waggled his eyebrows.
Sighing, Rem sunk his hand into the pockets of his black pin-striped dress pants. He knew if he zinged Nash with the snappy comeback sitting on his tongue his friend would only tease him more. Nash had been very vocal about kicking Declan’s cheating ass to the curb two years ago, so why the hell was he acting like Declan being back in his life was a good thing?
Peg reached up to pat Rem’s broad shoulder. “Sunday dinner, 2pm. Bring dessert, something lemony. Gemma loves lemon.”
“She does?” Why didn’t he know that Gemma liked lemon?
“Hey, Rem, the office said I’d find you here.” Declan walked into the classroom looking a bit sheepish.
The humble look on Dec’s handsome, freckled face was certainly a change from the man he kicked out of his house two years ago. His Declan had been all swagger, getting anything he wanted just by batting his eyes. “Hi, Declan. I don’t think you’ve met Peg McKinnon. She’s Nash’s future mother-in-law.”
“Mother-in-law my foot.” Peg grinned, holding her hand out to shake with Declan. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Declan nodded his head, looking uncomfortable. “Gemma and Tucker are crazy about you. They said something about how today is baking day.”
Peg laughed. “I’ve started teaching the kids how to bake. Gemma said her mother used to bake cookies before she got sick.”
Declan burst out laughing, which startled Rem. “Do you remember the time she made those enormous M&M cookies and made ours with only the green ones since they were supposed to be an aphrodisiac?”
Rem smiled and started to laugh along with Dec. It felt so good to laugh with him again. Even though he’d been the one to end their relationship when he’d caught Dec cheating with the plumber, he still missed him. “Then she sent us home with a Ziplock bag full of them for when we needed a little boost in the romance department.”
Setting a hand on Rem’s shoulder, Declan laughed even harder. “Like we ever needed any help in the…” Declan’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click of his teeth.
Rem saw the color drain out of Declan’s face and with it, the glimpse of the old Declan he’d missed so much.
“I’ll just wait for you in your office.”
“Hold on a minute there, cowboy!” Peg called after him. “Sunday dinner, 2pm. Make sure Rem doesn’t forget to bring a lemony dessert.”
Looking stunned, Declan nodded. “Yes, ma’am,” he muttered and headed out into the hallway.
“I don’t know what you’re game is, Peg, but,” Rem stopped, not liking the tone in his own voice. Peg had been nothing but a godsend to him and Gemma over the last three months.
“You’ve been a gloomy Gus since the moment we met, Remington James. The only spark of life I’ve seen in you was just now when that handsome ginger man walked into the room. If nothing else, Sunday dinner sure as hel
l won’t be boring.”
**
Peg’s words echoed in Rem’s ears as he walked toward his office where he knew Declan would be waiting for him. Had his loneliness really been that noticeable? He thought he’d done a good job of keeping it under wraps.
In the two years he and Declan had been broken up, Rem had his share of one-night stands. He’d never been the type to do that before he’d met his ex, but extreme measures were necessary to keep his battered heart from getting hurt again.
Rem walked into the main office, heading toward his own door. Thankfully, none of the office staff was staying late. He had a feeling this conversation with Declan could be explosive and he didn’t want his staff to witness anything that might happen. “Hey,” Rem said casually as he strode to his desk after shutting and locking the door behind him.
Declan nodded and clicked open his briefcase. He pulled out two manila folders and set one in front of Remington. “So, this is my report on Gemma. I think-”
Remington held up a hand to stop Declan. This was the first time in two years that he and Dec had been alone in the same room together and he was a mess.
Part of him wanted to yell at his ex-lover until all the anger and hurt that he’d been carrying inside him was gone. The other, more traitorous, side of him wanted to pull Dec into his arms and hold him until his arms ached. “You just want to get down to business, huh?” Rem’s eyes narrowed as he studied the other man.
