by Pandora Pine
"You make absolutely no sense." Knox rolled his eyes.
"Where's the water slides?" Tucker ran full-force into the back of Rem's legs.
"Inside, buddy." Rem yanked the excited little boy back to his feet and pointed to the opaque glass windows toward the rear of the hotel that he knew enclosed the water park.
"I'm ready. Let's go!"
"Where's Gemmy?"
"She's having a tough time waking up. Dec's with her,” Bronson said quietly.
Rem’s gut churned with guilt. There wasn't enough room for him to ride in Bronson’s SUV with Gemma, who'd insisted on riding up with Tucker and Declan. That left Rem to drive with Ben and Knox.
"Here we are. Princess Gemma is now awake!” Dec announced making dramatic jazz hands to herald her arrival.
“I’m not a prin-theth, Dec,” Gemma grumped, folding her arms over her chest.
Rem couldn’t help noticing her lisp was back in full force. It almost seemed to him like it was only coming out now when Gemma was tired or crabby, which thankfully wasn’t as often as it used to be. “Dec, didn’t the website say that grumpy kids aren’t allowed on the waterslides?” Rem raised an eyebrow at Declan who coughed to hide his laugh.
“You know what? I think it did say no grumpy pants were allowed on the waterslides.”
“I’m not a grumpy pants! See!” Gemma plastered a too-bright smile on her face.
“I’m still not convinced.” Rem winked at Dec over Gemma’s head.
“See, Uncle Remy?” Gemma ran to Rem, a real smile on her face now.
Rem bent to scoop her up. With exaggerated movements, he looked Gemma over. “I don’t see any signs of grumpy pants.”
“Told ya!” Gemma planted a kiss on his cheek.
Not wanting Gemma to see the effect of her kiss, Rem held her tight. It was the first time since Roma passed that Gemma kissed him without having been prodded or bribed into doing it.
"Now that we know there aren't any grumpy pants, let's go check in to the hotel." Dec slapped a hand on Rem’s shoulder, steering him toward the giant moose sculpture welcoming visitors to the lodge.
"Then can we go on the waterslides? Tucker said it’s a long climb to the top before I can slide down. I think heights are scary, but Tucker said I could do it ‘cause I'm super brave." Gemma reached up for Rem's hand.
"We sure can, honey." Rem couldn't help laughing at Gemma's happy expression. His niece was super brave. It's something he should have been telling her all along, instead of her having to hear it from another five-year-old.
What he needed to do was praise her accomplishments, no matter how big or how small they seemed to him. He owed Tucker big time for showing him another way to get closer to Gemma.
**
Half an hour later, Rem was standing at the base of the tallest waterslide in the park. His stomach pitched at the thought of climbing all the way up to the top. Repeatedly. There was no way Gemma was only going to want to try the tallest slide once.
"Hey, you okay?" Dec said from behind him. “You’re looking a little green.”
"It didn't look this tall on the website." Rem could feel himself starting to sweat. Heights weren't his thing. The last time he’d faced his fear of heights was last summer when Nash and Knox wanted him to have dinner with them at the top of the Prudential building in Boston.
Rem spent the night staring at his plate, pushing his uneaten food around, instead of looking out over the panoramic view of the city. In his mind, he couldn’t see an outcome where this ended well for him.
Dec laughed and slapped a hand on his shoulder. "If Gemma's brave enough to try it, you should be too."
"Says who?" Rem swallowed hard. Knowing that a five-year-old was braver than him wasn't helping his flagging confidence.
"Me!" Dec looked all the way up to the top of the slide, where kids were yelling as they started down. "Look, Rem. Gemma doesn't know you're afraid of heights."
"What does that have to do with anything?" As soothing as it was to stand next to Declan, he wasn’t making a whole lot of sense.
"If she sees that you're afraid, she might be too. You don't want to teach her to be afraid of something." Dec rocked back on his heels.
Rem hated to admit it, but Declan had a point. The last thing he wanted was to discourage Gemma from trying something new. "What do I do?"
"You do what parents have been doing since the dawn of time. Suck it up and make it look like you're having a blast." Dec laughed at the shocked look on Rem’s face.
"For Gemma's sake?" Rem would do anything for his niece. He just never figured conquering his own fears would be fair game.
Dec nodded. "And who knows? Maybe you will end up having a blast. All of those screaming kids look like they’re having the time of their lives.”
Rem shook his head, knowing Dec's advice was sound, but was still nervous about climbing to the top of the slide. "Are you turning into Doctor Ben?"
"Who's turning into me?" Ben asked from behind them.
"Dec is. I'm having a hard time with the thought of climbing up the slide and he thinks I should shut up and do it for Gemma." Rem rolled his eyes.
"I didn't exactly say it that way..." Dec shrugged.
Ben grinned at Declan. "I've never been very good with heights either."
"The hell you say!" Knox yelled. "Weren't you just saying that if you lived up here you'd ski every day?"
"Cross-country ski," Ben answered weakly.
Knox burst out laughing. "I can't believe it! Am I the only one brave enough to tackle the climb?"
"I am, Knox!" Tucker ran up to join the group wearing his T-Rex bathing suit.
"Me too!" Gemma joined them in her bright pink bikini.
"So are we!" Bronson added, pointing to Nash, but not looking completely sure of his answer.
"Let's do it!" Knox led the charge toward the stairs leading up to the top of the slide.
"Are you coming, Uncle Remy?" Gemma was waving him forward.
"I sure am, sweetie." With Gemma's confidence in him, Rem was pretty sure he could do anything. "You coming, Dec? I might need you to hold my hand."
"Right behind you." Dec grinned.
"I know you are." Rem waggled his eyebrows and turned back to catch up with Gemma. He knew he was toeing the line, flirting with Dec like that, but with Gemma’s happy attitude and the way Dec looked in his swim trunks, he felt like he had the world on a string. All he needed now was for Dec to feel that way too.
XX
"What's going on, Dec?" Ben asked when they'd caught up with the rest of their group on the stairs of the waterslide.
"What do you mean?" Instead of meeting Ben’s eyes, he kept them on Rem and the way he was filling out the ass of his grey swim trunks. The things he’d do to that ass…
"Don't play coy with me. What's going on with you and Rem? You seem awfully cozy." Ben stepped into Declan’s line of sight.
"Shit, Ben, I-" It wasn’t like Declan to keep Ben out of the loop. He’d been so confused about his own feelings and he thought that talking to Ben would only muddy the waters.
"Are you back together?" Ben raised an eyebrow in question.
"Not exactly." Trying to buy some time, Dec took a deep breath.
"So you're fucking him then." It wasn't a question.
"No! Damn it, Ben." Dec hadn't told anyone about Rem's idea that they get back together. He’d spent the last week knocking the idea around in his own head, making a pro and con list, and checking it twice. Seven days later, it still added up to uncertainty.
"Look, I was there after Rem broke your heart. I watched you struggle to heal and find yourself again. It killed me seeing how broken up you were. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
"I know, and I love you for that, but you don't understand." Dec shook his head. "Hell, I'm not sure I understand either."
"So tell me about it." Ben's blue eyes were kind.
"We're not sleeping together, aside from the time you know abo
ut. I want to. God, knows Rem wants to, but we're not."
"Okay. Did you two talk about things after the fight on Sunday?"
"It wasn't a fight, Ben." It was totally a fight. He hadn’t been that pissed since the time he’d seen Rem out with a new man about three months back.
Ben raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent.
"Okay, fine. I was pissed that Rem was treating me like a hired hand with Gemma and not wanting to talk about what was going on between us."
"Did you tell him that?"
Dec nodded. "And then he told me that he wants us to get back together."
"What? Jesus, Dec! Why the hell didn't you say so? That's great!" Ben’s blue eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Hold your horses there, doc. I said no."
Ben looked stunned. "What do you mean you said no? Jesus, getting back with him is all you've wanted for the last two years. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone."
Dec snorted. "I kind of did too."
Ben snorted. "Explain this to me before my brain explodes."
Explaining was the easy part. Dealing with his aching cock for the last week had been pure torture. "He asked me to get back together and I told him I didn't know if I could yet. There's more at stake now with Gemma being in Rem’s life. If it was just the two of us, I would have jumped at the chance."
"Bullshit," Ben drawled slowly. "I can see the fear in your eyes. You're afraid that what happened last time is going to happen again."
Ben knew him like a book. "Partly, but I'm afraid of what would happen to Gemma if we broke up. She just lost her mother. I don't want her to have to deal with losing me too."
Ben sighed. "Yeah, I can see where you're coming from, but that's not the whole story and you know it."
Dec smiled sadly. Having a best friend who knew him this well was a blessing, but sometimes it was a curse too. He didn't really want to talk about it, but there was Ben pulling the story out of him like a magician with a pocketful of multi-colored scarves. "I don't know why he wants me back. Is it because he still loves me and thinks we have a future? Or is it because I make things between him and Gemma work?"
"I hate to say it, but I was wondering the same thing myself."
"Good, so I'm not totally crazy then. You see it too." Dec had been hoping maybe Ben had seen something in Remington that he’d missed, but it wasn’t to be.
"I do. You're so good with her, Declan. If half of the parents out there would step up and get in their children’s lives like you've done with Gemma, this world would be a much different place."
It was nice to hear Ben talk about him this way. It meant everything to him that he was making a difference in Gemma’s life, but it didn’t bring him any closer to solving the situation with Rem.
"You're a natural with her because she accepted you right away, unlike with Rem who she saw as the bad guy. I've seen the way you're pulling them closer together as time goes on."
"Yeah and what happens when they don't need me anymore? Do I get pushed aside when Gemmy and Rem are getting along famously, the way a father and a daughter should get along? Does he kick me out again? I mean hell, it's been two years and I still was struggling without him. I won't survive that a second time."
Ben shook his head. "I don't have an answer to that."
"I know you don't. Neither do I, which is why I told him I needed to think about it. We're going to spend this vacation together and see where we stand at the end of the week."
Ben squeezed Declan’s beefy shoulder. "You know I'm here no matter what happens."
Dec nodded. "I know you are. Thanks, man."
"Come on, Dec! It's our turn!" Rem shouted from the top of the slide.
"Go." Ben laughed. Just watch your ass at the bottom of the slide. I saw some YouTube videos of guys who lost their trunks when they hit the water at the bottom of the slide."
"Shit, that's the last thing I need! To be bare-assed in front of a bunch of vacationing mothers."
12
Rem ached from stem to stern. Muscles he didn’t even know he’d had were barking in pain. After he'd been down the slide the first time, he'd realized the height wasn't bothering him at all. That combined with the way Gemma had screamed with excitement the whole way down had sealed his fate. They'd spent the entire afternoon climbing the stairs to the tallest slide and screaming the whole way down.
He'd been so busy having a blast with Gemma, that he hadn't really had any time to see if Dec was having fun too.
Dec had gone down the slide a few times with them before wandering off to a lounge chair near where the slides dumped the screaming riders into the pool. He’d seen him taking pictures of the kids and then had been quietly reading a book. Not long after that, Ben and Knox had joined him and brought over a round of soft drinks.
Dinner had been a mostly quiet affair, for the adults anyway. They’d all been too worn out to say much, but the kids carried the conversation with tales about their favorite trips down the slide. Once dinner was over, everyone retreated back to their rooms.
Rem was sitting alone in the living area of the suite he was sharing with Dec and Gemma. Tucker had asked Nash and Bronson if he and Gemma could have a sleepover and unbelievably, Nash agreed. That man had boundless energy when it came to the kids.
Nursing a bottle of water, Rem’s thoughts turned to Dec, who was still in the shower. If he stayed in there much longer, Rem was going to knock on the door to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep under the soothing spray. It had been hard enough to sit on the couch while Dec was in the shower without giving in to the urge to join him in there.
In his mind’s eye, Rem could picture the way Dec ran his soapy hands all over his chest and down toward the dusting of fur on his stomach and lower until he reached his-
“Hey, there. Thought you’d be asleep by now.” Dec was dressed in an old U2 concert tee and wearing a pair of gym shorts. His skin was pink from the hot water and his coppery hair was curling slightly. He looked good enough to eat.
Rem grabbed a throw pillow to hide the growing bulge that his daydream about a wet Dec was causing. “I was wondering the same thing about you. Was gonna get up and check on you in a few minutes if you still weren’t out.”
Dec laughed. “Oh, that old excuse. What’s up with the pillow? Did I interrupt some quality alone time?” Dec raised an eyebrow and rested his hands on his hips.
Rem could feel the blush bloom up his neck to burst over his cheeks. “Of course not! I’m just more comfortable like this.” His dick was so hard it could cut glass, but there was no way he was going to tell or show Dec that.
Dec snorted and went to the mini fridge. He came back carrying two bottles of Budweiser.
Rem cringed. Bud reminded him of misspent college days. “Seriously?”
“It’s all they’ve got in there, unless you want to break out the hard stuff? I put a deck of cards in my bag. We could play something.”
Knowing it was the worst idea ever, Rem nodded. “I’ll mix the Jack and coke. You deal. Gin rummy to five hundred points?”
“Sure!” Dec grinned and wandered off toward where he’d left his bag.
Rem watched as Declan walked back toward him. Strut more like. That man was pure sex on legs with his broad chest and narrow hips. At least if they were playing something banal like gin rummy, there was no way sex would play into it.
Rem couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing. He’d promised that he’d keep his hands to himself until Dec decided if he wanted to give their relationship another try, but if Dec put the moves on him? Well, that was another matter.
XX
“Gin!” Rem shouted, for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. No matter what cards he was dealt, the handsome bastard just couldn’t lose.
“Great! Let’s play again.” Dec started to gather up all the cards, while Rem tallied the score.
“Why? I’m kicking your ass so hard, I’ve lost a shoe.” Rem’s dark, eyes glowed. They were soft in t
he harsh hotel room light, a product of all the gins and coke they’d drunk.
“Har, har, har.” Dec rolled his eyes.
“Come on, Dec. Don’t be a sore loser,” Rem teased.
“Is there any other kind of loser?” Dec raised an eyebrow and started shuffling the cards again. He’d had one more rum and Coke than he should have and he knew what that meant. Introducing slutty Declan… He could only hope that Rem had forgotten how easy he was after too much hard liquor.
Rem yawned, stretching his long arms over his head. His tee-shirt rode up just high enough to show off a flash of toned abs.
Dec couldn't help watching the way Rem's shirt tightened over his broad chest, showing off his erect nipples. What Dec would give to run his tongue over the pebbled nubs of flesh before lightly biting them the way he knew Rem loved.
"Man, I'm sore." Instead of stretching, Rem was now rubbing his shoulders.
Dec was transfixed watching Rem’s hands kneading his own flesh. He bunched his hands in his lap so he wouldn't be tempted to reach out and touch his ex. “All you did was climb stairs and ride the waterslide. It’s not like you were working on a chain gang all day.”
“I carried a fifty pound kindergartener around most of the afternoon, so that’s like working on a chain gang.” Rem giggled and went back to rubbing his sore arms.
“Yeah, it’s exactly the same thing.” Dec rolled his eyes. If he hadn't been so indecisive about what Rem wanted from him, he’d have his hands all over Rem's body instead of sitting here in a puddle of his own sexual frustration cracking stupid jokes.
They could have spent the night fucking like rabbits, but instead, here they were playing cards and getting wasted on tiny bottles of hard liquor from the mini-bar. Feeling the bite of his frustration, Dec growled.
"Uh, oh." Rem's smile was predatory.
"Uh, oh, what?"
"You only growl like that, when you, um, need something." Rem waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Old Declan growled because he needed something. I don't." News flash, new Declan growled because he needed exactly what old Declan needed: his dick sucked.
