Obsessed

by Terry Towers

  She inched back on the sofa, putting as much distance between us as the sofa would allow, her eyes growing wide in surprise. “What are you? Are you some sort of psychopath? Or serial killer? How many? What are you?”

  She shot a thousand questions at me in rapid succession.

  “They nearly raped you, Sidney. They held Josie captive. They needed to die.”

  “But you didn’t know they had Josie until you got there.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “But you planned on killing them.”

  “I wasn’t going to risk your life. You are the most important person in my life, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Always.”

  “Ohmygod.” She stood and began pacing the living room floor. “Ohmygod. I don’t – I don’t know what to say. Or think…” She continued to pace, murmuring under her breath as I wordlessly watched her.

  She stopped and stared at me. “How many others? What did they do?”

  “I’m not sure exactly.” I’d lost count when the death toll hit 50, which had been a couple of years ago. Usually I did a hit a month, not including my hobby kill, and that had been going on for close to eight years. I knew I was nearing 100. But there was no way in hell I was going to tell her that.

  “Ballpark it for me Elijah.”

  I removed the handkerchief from my nose and cracked my nose back in place. Holy fuckity, fuck, fuck that hurt and I grunted from the pain. “It’s not important, Sid. I’m not just killing people for the hell of it, it’s bad people. Very bad people. People who have killed more people than I could begin to count. People like the men who almost raped you and abducted Josie, people who deserved it.”

  “Is that how you make your money?” She threw her hands out and spun around. “All of this. Blood money?”

  “It’s not blood money. I get paid to do the world a service.”

  “You’re delusional.”

  “And aside from the two fucking rapists I haven’t killed anyone since I met you.”

  “What about tonight? The secret chore you had to do?”

  Fuck it! Getting up I left the living room and went into the foyer. Grabbing the ring case from my jacket I headed back into the living room. Sidney was sitting again, on the sofa, her face in her hands sobbing uncontrollably. Fuck, it tore at me that she was hurting because of me. This wasn’t supposed to go down like this. She was never supposed to know, she was never supposed to know. I was going to leave the life and lead a normal life with her, or as normal as our lives could be.

  “This, Sidney.” I sat next to her, pulled her hands from her face and cupped her chin in my hand, forcing her teary eyes to look at me. “This.” I shoved the velvet case in her hands.

  “What is this?”

  Her hands trembled as she accepted the little box.

  “What do you think?” I growled. She flinched at my tone and I cringed. I couldn’t believe I’d just snapped at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m sorry. You’re throwing me off. I didn’t expect to come home to this.”

  She slowly opened the box and stared at the twinkling diamond. “What is this?”

  “It’s your engagement ring. I went out alone so I could get the ring and then take you down to the beach to propose. That’s why I was gone.”

  She huffed, tears starting to stream down her cheeks once again. “What am I supposed to say?”

  “I don’t know, Sid.”

  “And even if I could get past the fact that you’ve actually killed people for money. Even if… The lies.”

  “I didn’t lie to you because I wanted to. I kept it from you because I knew you wouldn’t understand. How could I expect you to understand? And how could I expect you to have this on your conscience?”

  “But now it is…”

  “I know. And I’m sorry.” Tears were filling my eyes. Jesus. “Tell me what to do. Just tell me how I can make this right and I’ll do it.”

  She closed the ring box and pressed it into my palm. “There’s nothing you can do, Elijah. I’m sorry.” She stood and began walking across the room towards the foyer.

  “What are you saying?”

  She turned back to me and caught my gaze; her eyes were devoid of emotion. She was crushed and it was all my fault. “I’m saying I’ll keep your secret. But I can’t be with you Elijah… I’m sorry.”

  Chapter 23

  Sidney – 3 Months Later

  “I’m fine Josie, really. Keep them coming,” I told Josie Chen, my new assistant. We’d gone forward with the charity and I’d given her a job working for me as a personal assistant. She did a wonderful job, and I’ll be honest, a part of me wanted her with me because she understood my sorrow. She might still be a kid in many ways, but she was the only one I could talk to about Elijah. And I needed her. She thought I was doing her a favour – she thrived in my fast-paced world, she was going to be a star, I knew it in every fiber of my being – but that wasn’t the case. She was my lifeline in the darkest time in my life.

  “I don’t think you are. Why don’t you take a break,” Josie insisted.

  “I’m fine Josie,” I snapped and then cringed. There was no need for my behavior and I knew it, but she didn’t seem to take notice. Or if she did she didn’t take it personally, I assume it was the latter.

  “Hold the line,” Josie shouted out, “Sidney is taking a fifteen-minute break.” There was a series of groans in response to her announcement, but surprisingly, not many people left the autograph line.

  “Josie, stop it. I said I was fine.” I was getting angry. I’d been a tornado of emotions since that night with Elijah. It was stupid, he was a killer. I couldn’t be with a killer. And he’d lied through his teeth to me. How could I be with someone like that? But I wanted him. And I missed him. I wanted and missed him so much it would have been more humane to put me out of my misery.

  Worse than that, Elijah didn’t come after me. He didn’t pursue me. He’d spent years practically stalking me and now he refused to fight for me. Well fine, to hell with him. To hell with that son-of-a-bitch who took my love and trust and threw it in my face.

  Besides it was for the best. If he came for me, if he pursued me, I’d crumble, my resolve would shatter into a thousand pieces and I’d forgive it all. I’d put it all behind us to be with him, as long as he’d been serious and was out of that life. Maybe he was doing me a favour.

  “Come on, in here.” Josie directed me to a conference room. I walked in and when I turned she gave me a rueful smile from the other side of the doorway and shrugged. “Sorry Sid, I had to do this. For both of us really. Your mood has seriously been dampening my vibe.”

  I frowned. Dampening her vibe? What in the hell did that mean?

  “What are you talking about? Do what?” I began walking towards her, but she quickly closed the door and there was a click as the lock engaged.

  “Josie! What the hell?” I rushed to the door and jiggled the knob. The little bitch locked it! “Let me out! Josie!” Balling my hands into fists I began banging on the door. “Let me out right now Josie!”

  “She’s not going to open the door, not until I text her.”

  My body froze, a tremor rocking through me at the sound of Elijah’s voice. I’d been conned. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in and slowly released it. I needed to stay strong. Slowly I turned and my eyes scanned the room until I saw him, leaning against the window ledge wearing a black turtleneck sweater, hugging his frame and a pair of jeans. God, he looked good. It wasn’t fair. He looked amazing and here I was down almost twenty pounds and to the point where the tabloids were claiming I was either anorexic or a crack addict. Their opinion changed with the day. While the movie studio was happy with the ten pounds they were complaining with the twenty. But life had lost its flavour for me when I made my discovery, I was no longer living, but a robot going through the motions.

  “What do you want, Elijah?”

  He pushed himself off of the window ledge and strode up to me.
“What I’ve always wanted, Sidney.”

  “So what? It took you three months to decide that?”

  “I’ve been…” he took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “I’ve been very busy.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and snorted. “What? Had more people to kill?”

  He grinned. The dirty bastard grinned at me. “No, I didn’t lie to you that night. Aside from those two men who had Josie, I haven’t hurt anyone. Besides you. Those days are over. I promised you they were and they are.”

  “Then why were you so busy?”

  He stopped his advance on me halfway across the room. “The day after we broke up, Christopher’s grandmother called me. Tina OD’d in her apartment. Chris found her and called 911.”

  I gasped, my hand going to my mouth. That poor kid. That poor, sweet kid. I couldn’t imagine what he’d be going through. “Is he okay?” What a stupid question, I knew it was but I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  “He’s doing about as good as can be expected.”

  “So why did she call you?” Without realizing it, my feet began moving, walking towards him.

  “His grandmother is marginally better than his mother had been, at least she isn’t an addict, but she didn’t want the responsibility of having Chris full time. She said her nerves wouldn’t allow her to be a mother all over again, I say she’s just selfish and isn’t willing to quit the partying to be an adult. She didn’t slow down for her child, why slow down for her grandchild. She said that if I wanted to take care of him then she’d recommend me for guardianship, otherwise he would need to go into the system.”

  I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about someone that selfish. I didn’t know that little boy well, but the little time I spent with him had been delightful. He was a wonderful, witty child. “That’s horrible!”

  “So I flew back to New York on the next flight and haven’t left.”

  “Where’s Chris now?”

  “He’s with his grandmother. She takes him on weekends and I have him during the week. Chris seems happy with the situation and it keeps him out of the system. That’s the last place I want to see him end up.”

  I gave him a tight smile. “So you’re a dad now.”

  He shrugged and gave a light chuckle, as he began to advance on me again. “I guess you could say that. I’m certainly a two-person bundle for whatever lady would want me.”

  My broken, shattered, in tatters heart began to mend and thump in my chest with each step he took. I’d told myself a million times over the past three months that if I saw him again I’d be strong. But I was weak; in the mere two months we’d been together he’d become my strength and without that I was a shell of a person. Without him.

  “But this doesn’t change anything, Elijah.” I could hear the hesitation in my voice and seeing the corners of his mouth curve up into a smile, I knew he could too.

  “I know it doesn’t change the past, but I’m asking for a chance, Sidney. I’m asking for an opportunity to prove to you I’m the man I’d claimed to be. Place yourself in my shoes, would you tell me?”

  I shook my head. I was tempted to lie, but I couldn’t. “No, I don’t think I would. This isn’t just some parking tickets or some crazy ex from your past. You’ve been paid to kill people.”

  “Bad people.”

  “Kill bad people then.”

  “But I made you a promise and I gave it up. I’m a father now, and I’d like to eventually be a husband.” His hands grasped my upper arms and gently rubbed them.

  God, he was so close to me, I could smell his cologne, it beckoned to me, drawing me in. My emotions were whirling. I wanted and needed him; that hadn’t changed. And his eyes, there was so much love.

  “I’d be crazy to even consider restarting this.” I took a step towards him, placing my forehead onto his shoulder. “Knowing everything I do about you. I’d be as crazy as you to even consider.” But even as I said it, my arms slipped around his neck and I held tight to him. He felt so good and the contact made so many memories come rushing to my mind.

  Elijah

  I wasn’t sure what to expect when Josie called me, pretty much begging me to come to the convention to see Sidney. Apparently she was “dampening her jive,” whatever in the fuck that meant. I’d been tempted to say no, but Josie insisted. So here I was.

  I’d given it some thought over the past few months of trying to get my legs under me and attempting to figure out how to be a good father, and a part of me felt maybe she was better off without me. Whether I justified my behavior by saying the men I killed were bad guys or not, at the heart of it I was still a paid killer. Correction, former paid killer. So I kept trying to convince myself that she was better off, although I never really believed it.

  But my heart refused to let go of her. I no longer stalked her physically since I had Chris to care for, but there wasn’t a news article or interview I didn’t read or see. Her massive canvas poster was back up on my wall, in my bedroom this time and I went to bed each night looking at and thinking about her.

  Yea, I know, fucking pathetic huh?

  Her perfume teased my nose and I swear to God there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her sultry lips and run my fingers through her silky strands. I’d missed her so fucking bad. Everything from the smell of her perfume to the soft feel of her body to the sound of her laughter and even her abusive jabs to my arm when I pissed her off. It had been three months and none of those memories had begun to fade for me, I suspected they’d remain with me until the day I died.

  She moved closer to me, pressing herself tight to me and then pulled back suddenly lifting her face, her nose crinkling up at me. “What’s in your pants pocket?”

  I shrugged, feeling a flush creeping its way up my neck. “Ummm.”

  Sidney reached down and slipped her hand into my front pocket. I tried to squirm away, silently chastising myself for even bringing it with me, but it was too late now, she was pulling the ring case out of my pocket and bringing it up to eye level.

  “What is this?” she asked, opening the case.

  “An engagement ring,” I responded with a shrug. I received a blow to the shoulder for that.

  “Smartass.” She looked up from the ring to meet my gaze, streaks of mascara running down her cheeks from the tears. “I mean why do you have it with you?”

  “Hoping for the best, I guess.”

  “So, what are you saying Elijah?”

  I searched her eyes for an answer. Was she asking me to propose or was it just plain morbid curiosity? There was nothing I wanted more than to marry her, none of that had changed. I took a deep breath in and quickly released it. Fuck it! You know what, if she didn’t want me fine. Not fine, but I’d accept it, but I wasn’t going to leave her, not again, not without attempting to give her that ring.

  Taking the case from her, I slipped the ring from the box and pocketed the box before falling to one knee before her. The look on her face was priceless, a mixture of shock and... dare I say it, excitement.

  Well, here goes nothing…

  “Look, Sidney. I – I…” I sighed. Holy fuck, I was nervous. My hands were literally shaking as I held the ring out to her. “I didn’t have a speech planned, so bear with me. I know I’ve made some mistakes and I’ve done a lot of bad shit in my life. But there’s been one thing in my life that I was always sure of, one thing that has been a pure constant and that’s been my love for you. I’ve loved you for so long I honestly have no idea how not to love you, Sidney.”

  Tears began to stream down her cheeks again. She sniffed and wiped at them with the back of her hands, spreading the mascara and liner across her cheeks. She was a beautiful, exquisite fucking mess.

  “Sidney, I need you in my life. These past few months have been pure agony. Fuck, I had to move that damned poster into my bedroom so I could get one last look at you before I go to sleep.”

  She laughed and cried at the same time as she fell to her knees in front of m
e. “That’s so damned creepy, Elijah.”

  I laughed with her. “I know it. But I can’t help it, I can’t help I need you. I can’t help that my life will never be complete without you, or that there will never be another woman, because the only woman I have ever wanted or will ever want is you. So even if you reject me and even if I never see you again the only woman who will ever be in my heart, until the day I die is you. And –”

  “Stop.” She hung her head and her dark hair became a veil. My heart stopped as I waited on bated breath for her to continue. When she looked back up she smiled. “Yes.”

  “What?” My brow furrowed. Surely I’d heard incorrectly.

  “I’ll marry you. I love you too. I’ve been so miserable. That’s why Josie went behind my back and called you. I don’t know how to live without you either, Elijah.” She held out her trembling hand to me and I quickly slipped the ring onto her finger. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  I got to my feet and helped her up. She swayed on her heels so I held her tight to me. We remained embraced for a long time, I really have no idea how long but a light knock on the door was followed by it opening and Josie peeking her head in.

  “You guys okay? It got quiet in here and I wasn’t sure if –” her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open when her gaze landed on Sidney’s outstretched hand. “Holy shit!” She let out a yelp of excitement and rushed into the room. She looked up at me. “I can’t believe you finally got the balls to do it.”

  I groaned. “Thank you Josie for –”

  A wide smile emerged on her lips. “Well, you saved my life and I think this means we can call it even, right?”

  Looking down at Sidney I nodded. She more than made up for what I did for her.

  “Now, not to break up this lovefest or anything but the fans are getting pissy waiting in line. I think you’re going to have a nerd revolt on your hands if you don’t get out there.”

  ~*~*~*~*~

  Sidney

  For the first time in three months I felt invincible, my step was light and I swear I felt like I could walk on water. As long as Elijah was by my side, I could do anything. And that ring, I couldn’t stop looking at it, it looked amazing on my finger. I couldn’t be happier. After taking ten minutes to clean up the black smears and streaks on my cheeks we made our way back to the signing table, Elijah taking up one side and Josie the other.