HERO (The Complete Series)

by Bella Love-Wins

  What would make for the perfect combination was her guitar, her songwriting, performing live, living in Tucson and being with Bash—not necessarily in that order. Bash’s final words before she left Tucson had blazed a fire through her. He wanted to keep her there, and that’s where she wanted to be. Now, she was back to the empty mansion in Beverly Hills, and strumming on this guitar was the only way she knew to keep the memories alive. She wrote, sang and played the song that told the real story, the one that would never make it to press. It was the story of what really happened the summer Lexxi Rock forgot who she was supposed to be, and got a chance to be her true self for a while, the story of Sebastian Sullivan and the purple blaze that spread out around her heart.

  Tortured by the words, her voice faded to silence and she realized she had stopped playing the guitar, lost in reflection. It was late evening now, and with the jetlag, getting some sleep was a good idea anyway. She set aside the half-written lyrics, padded into her master bathroom and got ready for bed. After brushing her teeth, changing into comfy pajamas and sinking back into the luxurious bedding, it took only a handful of minutes to drift off to dreams.

  Sebastian appeared. The shifting shadows around them stabilized and became the familiar guest room of his house. He didn’t say a word. He only stared at her with wistful longing, even as his name repeated over her lips, trying to get him to say something so she could hear his deep, soothing voice again. Bash’s figure flickered like static on a TV channel with a weak signal, and Alexandra reached out a hand that pushed right through him as though he were a holograph. Her hand met nothing but air.

  Behind her, laughter echoed. It was her manager, Rick. He cackled out, “You’re the best, Lexxi!”

  The flash of a camera blinded her as she turned to try and find the real Bash. With the certain knowledge that came with dreams, she was sure he had to be somewhere close. All she needed to do was find him. Swatting at the unseen paparazzi, she took a step in Sebastian’s guestroom, and around her transformed into a red carpet leading into an awards ceremony. Bash was walking far ahead of her, with a hundred flashing cameras dotting the dreamscape like stars coming to life and dying. Her hands flung to her face to cover her stinging eyes as a lump formed in her throat.

  Dread rolled through her. Instead of it being a pleasant dream, this was more along the lines of a nightmare. Bash was gone again. She couldn’t find him. She couldn’t get to him, and the sense that she was running out of time overcame her. No more kisses or lovemaking or confessions of desire.

  “Bash?” she sobbed. Suddenly, she was surrounded by fans screaming for an autograph. One passed her a pen and paper which became strings that moved with a life of their own to tangle around her hands and wrists. Her arms were yanked up like a Marionette doll. When she looked up in horror, she saw the CEO of Blaze Entertainment grinning wickedly.

  “Contract!” Rita Sage shouted, and made Alexandra dance with pulls of the strings now attached to the rest of her shoulders, arms and legs, and even one to make a forced smile rise on her face.

  Struggling helplessly, Alexandra somehow broke free of some of the lines. She burst through the crowd of rabid fans who turned into a flock of birds that flitted off, taking the colorful scene with them and leaving her in a black void. Except as she turned around now, she realized she had been dragging Rita along the floor all this time, by the strings that had never severed. Rita was now the puppet begging to be freed. There was a split second where the image vaulted Alexandra into an awareness that went beyond the dream. It had to mean something.

  Alexandra stumbled and fell to her knees, crying in a panic.

  “I don’t have time for this,” she repeated over and over. “I want to be with Bash.”

  She stared down at the reflective black floor, and Sebastian’s image appeared to stand over her kneeling figure. The panic in her chest calmed. Looking up with relief, Bash reached down to help her up, but when his hand connected with hers, purple tendrils of fire snaked up his arm and burned into his torso. He didn’t seem to be in pain, although the expression on his face was one of terrible resolution, like he was hurting inside and there were no more answers.

  “You’re a fire I can’t fight,” he said, looking down at her with sad, broken eyes.

  Bash disappeared like the flame of a candle that had been snuffed out, and Alexandra was left in the darkness alone. Alexandra woke up to the sound of her phone. A glance at the number showed it was a private caller. Hoping it was Bash, she answered.

  “Bash?”

  “No. Forget about him, Alexandra.”

  Chapter 2

  ALEXANDRA sat up in bed, disoriented. “Who is this?”

  “Still not talking to me?” By now the male voice was unmistakable. It was Wilkes. “I’m not giving up, Lexxi. Now get up and come answer the door.”

  “What?”

  “I’m back in LA, darling,” he drawled. “I’m at your front door.”

  “Go home, Wilkes. It’s the middle of the night.”

  “It’s only eleven at night, honey. I need to talk to you.”

  “Another time, Wilkes.”

  “Fine. I’ll be down here waiting at the door until you find the time for me.”

  Crap. This man is so damned persistent.

  Eva was on to something with that restraining order idea.

  “Christ. Okay, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  Alexandra dragged herself out of bed and headed downstairs, grabbing a robe on the way. With more irritation than ever, she threw open the front door and scowled at him. The suave country boy was standing there, leaning against the doorjamb and wearing a sheepish smile.

  “Good. You didn’t make me wait all night.”

  “Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind.” She crossed her arms, tapping one foot impatiently. “Look, I’m giving you five minutes. What do you want, Wilkes? Say your piece and get the hell out of here. The floor’s yours.”

  “You know what I want.”

  “Well, in that case, you know my answer. I’m glad we got that out of the way. You can leave now.” She began to swing the door shut, but he blocked it with an outstretched hand.

  “I’m fumbling the hell out of this. I can see that,” he chuckled. “Can I come in so we can really talk, Lexxi?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “So you can find your next opportunity to degrade me publicly? What the hell do I look like, Wilkes?”

  “I apologized about that. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

  “Yet it already has, with that ridiculous proposal performance you put on back in the hotel lobby. What is wrong with you, Wilkes? Or maybe I should be asking myself that question.” She shook her head. She was not doing this again. “The answer is no, Wilkes. You do not get to come into my house. You have three more minutes to say whatever you need to get off your chest, and then you can leave.”

  Wilkes let out an exhausted breath. Alexandra was over him now. It felt good to be able to feel nothing for him, after everything he had put her through. He stepped back, realizing he was out of options as Alexandra waited for him to speak. Looking at Wilkes now, she pretty much knew what he was going to say. She had heard the same speech from a ton of exes who fucked up in the past. I’m sorry, Lexxi. I know I messed up. Give me another chance. Ugh! It was like they all read from the same script.

  This time turned out to be different. Contrary to her expectations, Wilkes didn’t launch into the same ole same ole. He removed his cowboy hat and began to pace, as if searching for words. This was the first time she had ever seen him appear nervous or hesitant. After a beat, he looked at her with a sober expression.

  “I want to be honest with you in a way I didn’t feel I could be in the past,” he began. Alexandra tilted her head, curious to know what else—or who else—the bastard had been lying about. Wilkes continued, “I’ve always been scared of getting too emotionally involved because I was raised by a single mom. I never trusted
relationships. Even when I met you and we got closer, I kept a distance I shouldn’t have.”

  Alexandra uncrossed her arms uncomfortably. This was a first. Few people knew Wilkes’ troubled past. His mother spent most of his childhood passed out from pain pills because of a car accident she had been in eight months after she had delivered her fourth child. His father had packed it in and left them all around the same time, leaving Wilkes to take care of his three younger siblings. He used to tell Alexandra about how he had to steal just to have enough money to feed them all. Wilkes turned out to be his family’s only saving grace, when he found the courage to audition at a local open mic night. With his great voice and good looks, it wasn’t long before he got signed and made his first album. At his core, Wilkes was just a boy trying to take care of his family, and that’s what got Alexandra every time.

  “I want you to realize…to really know this, Lexxi. Being with you was the single happiest time of my life. It had nothing to do with hit records or winning awards. You were more than a trophy to me. You represented what honest to God affection should feel like to someone who had to grow up real fast when my brothers and sister needed me.”

  He choked up, and Alexandra grasped his hand out of empathy. “I understand, Wilkes. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “It’s not your fault. It’s all I’ve been thinking about since the story broke about my affair. I know you have the impression I used you and misrepresented myself. In retrospect, I was a cold, unfeeling bastard toward you. Lydia meant nothing to me, Lexxi. I didn’t even care for her, but my feelings for you were undeniable. I think I did what I did with Lydia because…I care for you, Lexxi. You’re the first woman I loved…and I love you. I guess I was afraid you would hurt me, Lexxi, and that scared me.”

  Wilkes looked her in the eye and squeezed her hand, and Alexandra really wanted to believe him. She didn’t even know why. Maybe just to get the satisfaction of knowing she hadn’t been wrong about him in the first place. Or maybe it would help her feel better to think there was at least a decent reason for him screwing around, or that he made an honest mistake.

  However, even with his good reasons, it didn’t take away the sting of what happened. In her mind, she had a flashback to how it felt looking up at that wall of display screens showing Wilkes—the prudish guy she used to have to beg to be sexually adventurous with—being free and passionate as he made out with Lydia. Suddenly everything he was saying just felt so damned empty again.

  “Wilkes, you have to understand something. The idea that it took your cheating on me for you to come to all these realizations is what’s screwed up. It honestly takes away from your reasons. Why hurt someone if you feel they can hurt you?”

  “I know, and there aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am, Lex. I’m here to tell you I’m ready to be sincere with you. You want passion? I’ll show you my passionate side. I can be faithful, loyal, and loving, and I can be in your life in a way that few other people can. I’m asking you to understand that I messed up. I don’t want to lose you over this. I’m in love with you, Lexxi. The real me loves the real you. I just want to show you who I am…”

  Conflicted, she murmured, “Thanks for talking to me about this. It puts a few things into perspective.” She did not want to give him anything more, so she added, “Don’t expect my feelings towards you to change, Wilkes. You hurt me. In a public way that was so unnecessary. I kept trying to figure out if I did something wrong to make you do what you did. In the end, it seems you and I came to the same conclusion. I never met the real you. Maybe down the road we can be friends, but I can’t go back to where we were.”

  “Is it that fella you’ve been seeing?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “That topic is off limits,” she warned, hands raised. Wilkes immediately conceded and didn’t push the issue with Bash.

  Everything inside Alexandra screamed that this was another ploy to break down her guard and let him back into her life.

  She added. “I’m not offering anything more than friendship down the road. I can’t right now. Just know that when I come around to us being friends, that friendship is all it will be. No benefits. No besties. Just non-hatred.”

  She held out her hand to shake his.

  A wavering smile touched his lips. “If that’s all I can get, I guess I can make do for now,” he said, shaking her hand. He dug into his pocket with his other hand and pulled out a ring box, offering it to her.

  “Wilkes,” she said in a warning voice.

  “Now, don’t be alarmed. I’m not done wishing, hoping, and praying you’ll take me back, Lexxi. I’ll accept it for now, but I bought this ring for you and I want you to have it. You can do whatever you want with it. Toss it out the window. Give it to someone else. I don’t have any control over that.”

  Alexandra was not going to accept this ring, but she was curious. She took the black velvet box and slowly opened it. Nestled in the shiny silk was a rose gold ring, encrusted with impressive diamonds and rubies, gleaming in contrast to the black lining of the box.

  “There’s no way I can accept this,” she said, still in awe.

  Wilkes tilted his head to the side and playfully pinched the tip of her nose. “Give it to charity, then. I’m sure one of those fundraisers would love to auction it.”

  She softened a little, but did not accept it. This could be more fodder for Wilkes to use with the media. “Thank you, Wilkes. I think I’d prefer it if you take care of getting rid of it. I hope you can understand.”

  “Okay…so I guess I’ll see you on the music scene?” he asked hopefully, accepting the ring box.

  Alexandra shrugged. “We’re with the same label, so yes. I’ll be around.”

  After he turned and left, Alexandra closed the door and returned to her living room to contemplate what just happened. Sighing, she got up and went back to bed.

  Chapter 3

  SEBASTIAN looked at the time. It was almost one in the morning. That meant Alexandra could still be awake. She hadn’t been gone for a full twenty-four hours yet and he was already missing her. Having her around the past several days made him hopeful. Maybe they had a chance.

  Not caring about how it would come across, he found her number in his cell phone contact list and dialed it into his cordless phone.

  “Hello?” Alexandra answered.

  “Hi. It’s Bash. Still up?”

  “Hey. Yes.”

  “How was your flight?”

  “It was smooth sailing. I’m so glad you called, Bash. I was just about to go back to sleep.”

  “Back to sleep?”

  “Yes. Never mind it’s a long story. It’s got to be pretty late over there.”

  “It’s close to one a.m.”

  “How are you?”

  “I’m good…I was thinking about you.”

  Alexandra let out a sleepy moan. “You were?”

  Sebastian turned and stretched out on his side as he spoke. “Yes.”

  “Do you miss me yet?” she asked in a sultry voice.

  “I sure do.”

  “Me too…” she drifted off for a moment, then asked, “I wish you could be here…or I could be there.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Sure. That way I wouldn’t have to do what I’m doing right now.” Her voice was playful, husky. Sebastian could only imagine what she was up to.

  “What’s that?”

  “Do you really want to know?”

  “Tell me.”

  “Well,” she said with a low, teasing giggle. “I’ve just put you on speakerphone…and I’m picturing you between my legs as I touch myself.”

  “Fuck,” Sebastian groaned. That admission made him hard as a rock in no time. “You’re full of surprises aren’t you?”

  “Only until you know how much I enjoy your hands on my body…and other parts of you too.”

  Sebastian didn’t know how to reply. He was just glad she could be that open with him, and could send his mind and bod
y reeling from hundreds of miles away.

  “You there, Bash?” She called to him.

  “Yes. I am. Tell me what you’re doing to yourself, Alexandra.” He reached a hand into his boxers and waited for her answer.

  She moaned deeply and told him, “I’m imagining you feasting on me, baby. Sliding your tongue deep inside me…mmmm…tell me what you’d do to me, Bash. I miss your hands on me.”

  “Fuck, I miss touching you too. I’d bury my face between your legs and taste every part of you.”

  She groaned and growled. Alexandra was into it now, from the sounds of it. Her breath against the phone told him her mind was focused in on her need.

  “Fuck, babe,” he groaned, cursing the distance, but satisfied she was finding her pleasure from just his voice. “How wet are you right now?”

  “I’m so wet for you,” she moaned absently.

  Sebastian wrapped his hand around his shaft, ready now to indulge along with her. “Christ, I’d give anything to be inside you. What are you doing now?”

  “Mmmm. I just slipped three fingers deep inside, baby. Trying to remember how good you make me feel.”

  “Oh fuck.” Sebastian stroked along his shaft, visualizing what Alexandra looked like in her bed, writhing against the sheets as she brought herself closer to the edge. “I would flip you so you’re on top of me, riding me hard while I grip your hips and sink you deeper on my shaft.”

  “Yes, baby,” she cried, her breathing ragged now. The sound of her voice made Sebastian fairly certain she was seconds away from her peak.

  “Come for me, Alexandra.”

  “Oh God, Bash.”

  “That’s it. Come all over my thick shaft. If I was there I’d lift you off me after you come and bury my head between your legs again. I’d lick you clean and taste your sweetness.”