HERO (The Complete Series)

by Bella Love-Wins

  Wilkes reached across the table after his Lydia rant and soberly took her hand. “I’m really excited about the song we recorded. When you hear the final cut, you will be, too. It’s unbelievable, Lex, all that grit and emotion. You put it out there. You were amazing. Oh, and with that guitar piece…the fans will go crazy for this single.”

  “I was being true to the music and the scenario in the song,” she replied lightly.

  His writers had given him a love song ripe with missed chances and heartbreaking regrets. With the addition of her guitar riffs and vocals, she had helped to turn it into something more without even meaning to—another tribute to Bash. She looked at Wilkes and knew he thought she was singing some part of it for him. Mainly because of the way he was looking back at her now, his eyes half-closed in an attempt at seduction.

  She held back a snort of amusement that threatened to escape. Behind his glasses, it just looked like he was having a hard time seeing. That was it. The glasses put her over the edge. She couldn’t hold back the giggles anymore. “Wilkes, what are we doing?”

  It was a rhetorical question. It was clear to her now that for him, tonight was most likely about wooing her back into a relationship. He needed to know in no uncertain terms that it was not happening. She decided tonight was as good a night as any to reiterate what she had told him three or four or forty times already. Her heart was with Bash.

  “We’re having dinner, catching up, doing stuff friends do,” Wilkes answered, stroking her wrist with the pad of his thumb for a second before Alexandra instinctively pulled her hand back. “Of course, I’ve been dominating the conversation. I’m sorry. You’re in a quiet mood, Lex. What do you think we’re doing?”

  Not wanting to have him think at any point that she might have been stringing him along, she took a breath, ready to tell him the truth. “I think we’re wasting time. I’m only interested in my close friend in Arizona.”

  Wilkes eased his hand off the table and leaned back in his seat with a speculative hum. “Ahhh, the neighbor guy, right? Tell me about him.”

  “I care about him…a lot.”

  “Come on. I gave you the dirt on Lydia. What’s your man’s worst?” He said it with a laugh, but there was an edge to his voice, begging for her to come up with something to cast Bash in a bad light.

  “Oh, you wish I’d do that, don’t you?” she teased. Unlike Wilkes, Alexandra had no reason to trash-talk her man. Bash was everything she wanted.

  “Well?” Wilkes prompts.

  “There’s nothing to tell.”

  Wilkes shrugged. “I was hoping you’d give me some dirt. After all, he did steal you from me.”

  “You and I were done long before I got with Bash, Wilkes.”

  “Are you two still together?” he asked, ignoring her comment.

  “Wilkes.” She steepled her fingers together and glanced down. “Sebastian and I weren’t originally in that kind of relationship, all right? When I told you we were friends, that’s what we were. I never cheated on you. So, how about we change the subject? How soon will Emma-Jane be here?” He shrugged again. “She’s not coming, is she?”

  He spread out his hands innocently. “I give you my word. She’s been hounding me to get time with you, and then her friend called and it’s like she forgot all about coming out. Teenagers. What can I say?”

  “Well we should get going then.”

  “I have a better idea, Lex.”

  “What’s that?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.

  “I think we still have unfinished business.”

  “No we do not. Why would you think that?”

  “It was all over your face when I was talking about Lydia.”

  “What was all over my face?” All Alexandra could think of was her boredom.

  “The pain I’ve caused you.”

  Alexandra didn’t have an answer to that, but stammered out, “Most women wouldn’t want to hear a word about the other woman, Wilkes. That’s what Lydia is to me. That’s not going to ever change.”

  “Well, for that I’m truly sorry. I take full responsibility…and if you have any other questions you want to ask, I can handle it. We might as well use this time for that.”

  She had no questions that came to mind, but looked around the small restaurant. “Here?”

  “Sure. You’ve never been one to get loud or cause a scene, Lex. Go on. Fire away.”

  Alexandra was happy being with Bash now. She didn’t think there was anything more to ask Wilkes, but for some reason, one question came to the forefront. “Okay. Since you brought this up, I’ll ask. Why did you buy me an engagement ring if you knew you had some kind of weird commitment phobia? Especially considering if I had said yes back then, I wouldn’t even know what I was getting into. I mean, you presented yourself as this responsible, mild-mannered, restrained guy, and made me feel like I was some wild, raging sex addict. Then, next thing I know, you’re busted doing the most irresponsible shit possible right out in public. It didn’t even feel like it was you out there on that beach with Lydia, no self-restraint, all passion, and no regard for how it might affect me. Before that, I actually thought we had something.”

  “Hold on, Lex. That’s way too many questions at once, babe.” Wilkes took a breath. Alexandra did too. She had no idea all that stuff had been lurking around deep in her psyche. “Why did I buy the ring? Because I love you. At my dumbest, I still had enough sense to know that.”

  He opened his mouth as though he was going to say something else, but he may have thought better of it. Instead, Wilkes looked around the cozy restaurant as a wistful expression spread out over his face. His eyes swung back to her and he suggested, “Hey, come dance with me.”

  “What?” Her eyes darted over to the lone guitarist strumming softly near the front. The seated crowd was thin as it was the middle of the week and the place wasn’t exactly a hotspot to begin with. The dance floor was empty, but who wanted to be the free spirit twirling around on an empty dance floor? Wilkes, apparently. “We’re in the middle of a conversation,” she pointed out.

  Chapter 12

  ALEXANDRA blew out a long breath. Wilkes wouldn’t take no for an answer. He never could. Interlocking his fingers with hers, he kept nodding toward the empty floor like an eager cocker spaniel. Those glasses and that side part in his hair didn’t help one bit.

  “C’mon. Let’s be spontaneous. You used to want that. Remember?”

  He had a point, although it was around two and a half months late. She used to want him to be spontaneous, back when she used to want him. Now she wanted Bash and no one else. Alexandra groaned, reluctant to move, but Wilkes grabbed both her hands and gently pulled her out of her chair. No one from the almost empty corner they were in bothered to turn their heads. She ducked her head in embarrassment, but there was also a part of her that kind of enjoyed being here, in a place where no one seemed to care who she was.

  “This is new.” A smile teased her lips as Wilkes kept pulling her into the wide open space. The song the pianist was playing had a romantic canter that invited the sway of hips, although she was not indulging in that. Not with her ex.

  Wilkes slid a hand to her waist and guided one of hers around his neck, keeping a foot of space between them.

  Okay this is harmless.

  He moved her around for a few minutes until he got more and more comfortable—comfortable enough to try to press her body right up against his. That was her cue to spin away, coming back to his arms with a pair of locked elbows that ensured he would keep at a safe distance. He got the point, and did not try anything else.

  Without so much as a word of announcement, he picked up where they left off talking at the table. “You said I did something with no regard for how it would make you feel, and I know you want to know why.”

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  “I know. I was wrong, Lex. I should have been a man…” Wilkes trailed off.

  Her lips straightened to a hard line. Eva
had warned her not to fall prey to Wilkes. Oddly enough, neither Eva nor Wilkes nor even Alexandra herself knew exactly how deeply Wilkes’ affair had affected her.

  “Actually, I don’t want to know why, Wilkes,” she said softly. “There isn’t a reason you can give me that can justify what you did. We do need to accept some truths, Wilkes. So maybe you’re right. Since we’re being all open and honest, you need to know this.”

  “I’m ready. Tell me.”

  “Just know that I’m not saying this to hurt you.”

  He looked down into her eyes. “I know that too,” he said with more honesty and authenticity she had seen in him.

  She took a breath. “The truth is I was never in love with you, but I loved you deeply. I accepted that people like us don’t all get the luxury of falling in love. Too many things muddy the waters. We have to worry about gold diggers, wonder about how our careers will affect our partners, or how our partnerships will affect our careers. I mean, even if we date or marry someone in the industry, there’s jealousy, rivalries, separations, and conflicts of schedules. So, I didn’t let myself fall in love with you, but I did love you very much.”

  Alexandra swallowed, and blinked back unexpected tears.

  I can’t believe this is choking me up, but here it is.

  “I used to care about you because I thought you were the best match for me, and then you went ahead and proved me wrong.” Wilkes quietly wiped away the tears on her cheeks as she continued. She had to say it. Now that she started, there was no point in half-assing the rest. “So, you see, I had already given up on true love, but you…you gave me hope that companionship wasn’t out of the question for me. You made me feel like I could find contentment. I actually believed we’d get married and plan a family. Crazy, right? Because…because otherwise I didn’t think I’d get the chance. The truth is, back then I had never connected with anyone in the way I thought a true love connection was supposed to look or feel.”

  She clamped her lips shut and looked away. She didn’t add the words that echoed in her head. Until I met Sebastian.

  Her relationship with Wilkes was probably destined to fail, because she was settling. Even before she was intimate with Bash, and before she fell in love with him, while she had been putting on this sham of being Alex Roberts, she had a real friendship with him. That was more than she had ever had with Wilkes. That was where the tears were coming from.

  She sniffed, swiped at the tears, and straightened up. Wilkes gently tucked her head to his chest, placing her cheek against the collar of his shirt. She breathed in. It was not Bash’s cologne. It was amazing the little things that came to mind.

  “Anyway, we’re all over now,” she murmured, pulling out of his intimate embrace. She had to forgive Wilkes for what happened. It made it easier to move on now, especially now that Bash was her present and her future.

  Wilkes wrapped his arms more fully around her. Their bodies bumped closer. “Lexxi, I promise you the man I am now is ten times better than the man I used to be, and it’s all because of you. You say people like us don’t get the luxury of falling in love. Well, I am in love with you. I want to be everything you wished for, everything you need. Even if…even if you merely feel content while I feel like it’s paradise on earth. I want to be with you. Always.”

  Alexandra looked up at him and started to wonder whether Wilkes was listening more to the strum of the guitarist than to her words. She felt a strong sense of déjà vu.

  “We’ve had this discussion,” she reminded him.

  “Lex, I’m just trying to tell you how I feel. Please don’t get upset. I know what I’m saying won’t change anything, but I have to tell you. I can’t help but hope there’s something that might change your mind, though…”

  The guitar music seemed to get louder, and the quiet conversations around them became an annoying buzz. The lights got brighter. Wilkes eased around behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing his hands on her stomach. As he moved to the music, his pelvis brushed against her, and the ridge of his growing erection pressed into her lower back.

  “Wilkes,” she warned him.

  “Just dance, Lex,” Wilkes said. He exhaled shakily, lips close to her ear. His lips glided down the side of her neck, and he inhaled with a faint moan. “I want you.”

  That was it. She took a step away from him. “It’s time for you to take me home,” she announced as calmly as possible.

  Breaking out of his grasp, she quickly walked over to their table and grabbed her purse. Wilkes threw a few bills on the table and hurried after her. They surged through the doors into the warm, dark night, and she paced a short distance back and forth in front of the restaurant while waiting for his driver to bring the car around. Meanwhile, Wilkes looked a little embarrassed. Somehow, she knew this was bound to happen.

  She didn’t need this. Right now all she wanted was to get home and get some rest. She had a full day of work in the morning negotiating with the Purple Blaze travel coordinator and Rick about details of the tour. To make matters worse, that little interlude on the dance floor had her feeling guilty, as if she had invited it, which she did not. Immediately, her mind turned to Bash. She belonged to him. There was no doubt in her mind.

  I’m his.

  Bash is who I want standing beside me. Holding me on a dance floor, kissing my neck, pressing every part of his body on me.

  The last fifteen minutes with Wilkes should not have happened. She dropped her face in her hands and struggled to get some control.

  “I just want to wake up in Arizona.” The words came out muffled and distorted, broken.

  “I’m sorry,” Wilkes said quietly.

  The car pulled curbside, and his driver came around to open the passenger door. Alexandra climbed in and scooted as far away from Wilkes as possible, hearing his sigh of disappointment before an uncomfortable silence descended and the car moved off.

  “Contrary to what you might think, I do believe in fidelity. I didn’t mean to compromise your relationship with…your friend.”

  “Sebastian. His name is Sebastian.” She wiped the last of the tears from her face and sat up straighter, pulling herself together. She didn’t come out with him to sob about what they left behind. Wilkes shouldn’t have seen her like this.

  “You miss him, don’t you?”

  He moved closer and dropped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him to comfort her. She relaxed. The tension was gone. The sense of Wilkes waiting to pounce on her was gone again. Lulled by the quiet hiss of the tires on the road and the warmth of his body, before she realized it, she was dozing off. It had been a long few days with little sleep. Maybe that exhaustion brought on all these emotions. Wilkes stroked the curls at the nape of her neck. His lips brushed her forehead. He whispered words of comfort she barely registered, and then she was out. The next thing she knew, he was gently nudging her on the shoulder.

  “Wake up, love,” he murmured. “You’re home.”

  Straightening up, she arched her back in a stretch. A yawn escaped her, and she covered her mouth. She was relieved to look out and see the familiar front door of her house. It was a welcome sight. She wanted to say good night and curl up in her bed and dream about Bash.

  “Should I walk you up?”

  She shook her head sleepily. “I’m sure I know the way.”

  Wilkes stepped out of the car when the driver opened the door. He held out his hand for hers, which she accepted just so he could help her out. She didn’t say anything when Wilkes walked her to her front door, but when he waited on the top step after she opened the front door, she paused to look over at him.

  “What is it, Wilkes?”

  It took her by surprise when he stepped forward and in one move, slipped his hands to the side of her face and pressed his warm mouth on hers. A misplaced spark of arousal fired up within her when he deepened into the kiss with a passion Alexandra had never experienced from Wilkes before. His tongue slipped past her lips to war languid
ly with hers. She let out a moan, and her body tingled and throbbed against his as he stepped up through the doorway and backed Alexandra up into her foyer, pushing the door closed.

  Chapter 13

  ALEXANDRA didn’t know why she had let things go this far. She was in her foyer and had just pushed Wilkes away after that heated kiss at the front door.

  “That really should not have happened,” she said to him, inhaling sharply. Wilkes was staring down at her with a warm, sultry gaze. He didn’t have a reply for her. She needed him gone. Stat. “You need to leave now.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.

  “No. It’s not about whether it’s a good idea or not, Wilkes. I need you to leave.”

  “You lips are saying one thing, but your eyes are telling me something else, Lexxi. It’s time you just let go and let me give you what you’ve wanted since the first day we met.”

  None of what Wilkes said made sense anymore. Yet, he was still standing in the middle of her foyer, and Alexandra was still caught up in some hazy fog of their past, acting on sheer unresolved emotion, reacting and not taking charge by kicking him out. That was what she should have done, but right now, the lines were blurred and words like should and must did not elicit any action.

  Wilkes continued to step her back through the foyer and her eyes continued to be locked in his gaze until she felt the suede sofa bump up to the backs of her legs. They were now in the sitting room at the back of her house.

  He kissed the top of her head and slowly stepped back. “You look like you could use a drink. I know I can use one.”

  Without waiting for her to answer, he headed towards the built-in bar beside the entertainment center in one corner of the large room. Alexandra declined on the drink and took a seat on the familiar tan suede couch, kicking off her heels as Wilkes made himself at home in the space they used to share more often than not. He eyed her inquisitively from the bar as he stood there, waiting for something.