HERO (The Complete Series)
Page 108
“I talked to Lady this morning,” I said.
Kevin nodded. “She mentioned she would phone you. What did she say?”
“That you were a colossal pain in the ass as a manager, and you treated her the same way.”
Kevin’s jaw clenched at the assessment, but then he let out a booming laugh. “Knowing Lady, that’s just how she said it too.”
I nodded. There just wasn’t enough zeal in me to muster a smile.
“I’ll get right to the point, Lorne,” he said, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. “I know I’m hard on you, and I’ll be the first to admit that I have a very specific vision for your career. Nothing is beyond your reach. You have the raw talent and the natural charisma to do anything you want. I’m just afraid you’re going to squander it. That’s why I’ve had to be so inflexible—”
“And overbearing, arrogant, intrusive, meddlesome, obstructive—”
“Okay I’ll give you that. I was and I still am all those things. I didn’t want you to lose your spark, or your motivation, and end up kicking back like so many artists who hit it big right out the gate. This is one of the reasons I continued to book you for small events like the one in Greece, and Whiskey River in two days. It’s to keep you grounded, connected to the fans, and to propel you forward.”
I understood his perspective. I viewed myself as the least talented of my original band members, yet none of them went on to do much with their music after Kevin had kicked them out. They had gone from first hit single to twenty-four seven rock star party mode in no time at all. Still, he seemed a little harsh. I would like to believe I was more ambitious and driven than his fears seemed to allow.
“But, after talking with Lady, I’ve realized just how short life really is. I mean, in that car, anything could have happened. That crazy bitch had a knife against my throat, Lorne, and I—” his voice faltered slightly and I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable with his sudden break of emotion. “There was a moment where I wondered how you would remember me, if things had gone south.”
Besides my initial adrenaline-filled reaction the night Kevin was assaulted, I had not really thought much about it once we found out he was okay. Even now, I could not wrap my mind around how different things would be if he had been seriously hurt or worse, if the woman had taken his life.
Kevin continued. “I don’t want you to look back and resent me someday for wasting some of your most precious years, chasing after you to help reach the goals I set for you. Honestly, they were my dreams, and like any father…I wanted only the best for you. Maybe I was focused on my own selfish image of how your success should play out.”
I did not expect any of this. My chest tightened like a vice with all the emotion coursing through me. All of a sudden it was hard to remember why I had been so angry at him in the first place.
“I want to show you something,” he said. He picked up a large brown envelope on the small table between us, and he pulled a stack of papers from it. “This is our second contract, the one you signed when you were twenty-two. It’s a five-year contract, so only one year is left.”
I took the contract from his hand and glossed over it. A rush of memories came rising to the surface as I glanced over my sketchy signature. I had been so young…so much had changed since the first contract. My band had been replaced, I had recorded numerous albums, produced many music videos, performed in front of millions of fans, made hundreds of TV and radio appearances, and done countless media interviews. I had been on magazines and my face had been splashed all over the internet with pictures from photo shoots and the paparazzi. I had done a lot. Now, anything was possible.
It had been a wild ride, to say the least.
This was our second contract. Thinking back to when we first started out, I had no idea I could attain this level of achievement. I had figured on it being something of a vanity career. The kind of thing kids with parents in the industry did when they got bored. Mom or Dad would pay for their music to be professionally produced, even a music video or two, and they could call it a dream realized and move on to the next thing. When I had signed the first contract, I was still looking to party. To travel, hang with my buddies, and get some attention. If Kevin had not cut them from the band one by one, I would probably still be spending way too much time drinking, experimenting with every drug we could get our hands on, womanizing, brawling, and getting into a world of trouble.
The difference for me was I had always enjoyed being on stage. Singing and entertaining people made me feel useful, constructive, alive. Seeing fans so energized from my performances became just as important to me as delivering the music to them. My career was my foundation. And I had no doubt that without it, I would have no purpose.
Kevin took the contract from me. “Here’s what I’m proposing.”
I looked on in disbelief as he held it on one end and ripped it down the middle.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, Lorne. You know why? A piece of paper should not dictate how family should be to each other. What I’m proposing is I’m not going to change much. I’m going to keep pushing you if you want me to continue as your manager. I will try to hear you out on the creative side, but I can’t promise you I’ll bend every time. The other option is…we can cut ties professionally, with no court battle, no issue of money, no hard feelings…we just go back to being Lorne and Pops.”
Lorne and Pops. I had not called him that for almost ten years. The name brought back only the fondest of memories of them pampering me like a treasured grandchild before my parents passed, and of all the time he and Lady spent helping me through their loss. Even through those dark days, he was Pops, and would find time in his crazy schedule to sit silently at the foot of my bed with Lady, almost every night he was in town. Just sitting there, letting me know they were there for me if I needed them.
He had become Kevin back when we signed the first contract. And Kevin was a hardass. Nothing like Pops. Until now, it never occurred to me that he had to fundamentally give up our personal relationship, and a part of himself, to become my manager and help me move in the right direction with my life.
Shit. I didn’t want to give up on him. I couldn’t. Not when he had been insanely protective and loyal to me. And now, with the reality that it could all be over so easily, panic jolted through me.
“Kevin, I never wanted to give up on my music. I love this business. And…I want you to be the one helping me. You’ve gotten me this far, and you can help me get even farther.”
“I know,” Kevin said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to get you to see all along. But there’s so much more to it, Lorne. This tour is really the beginning of some unimaginable leaps in your career. And being asked to perform at the RHVAs…I mean, that’s huge! That did not happen for Lady until over twenty years of pushing the boundaries in punk rock. I want you to see. You didn’t get that offer because of who your parents were, or because of Lady or me. They want you, because of you. And with that, comes choice. You can cross into acting, collaborate with any artist out there with just a phone call, or choose where you tour next. You can have anything you want now.”
I swallowed hard to keep from any emotional reaction, still slightly in awe of the ripped contract papers. “I understand that now. I just need to see myself in the music we put out. There are some creative changes that need to happen.”
He looked off in the distance, pensive. “We can discuss it after the tour is over. Right now, your fans who have paid to see you are expecting a certain type of performance. It’s your obligation to give them what they want.”
“I agree. All right. But after the tour, I need a say on the lyrics and tone of what we put out.”
“Good,” Kevin said. He got off his chair and clapped his hands, seeming to conclude the meeting. I was not quite finished, but stood up as well. He smiled and reached out to shake my hand. “Partners?”
“Partners,” I agreed. “And there’s one more thing.”
&nb
sp; I needed to make some headway where Amanda was concerned.
“Let me guess.” He leaned back on the edge of his office table. “Amanda, right?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love her?”
“Um…We’re getting to know each other. I care about her a lot.”
“Don’t try to deny it, Lorne. You cared about her long before she got here.”
I reared back in my seat, speechless.
“It took me some time, but I figured it out. That’s the big fight you snuck out with Charles to watch. You think I don’t remember? He drove you to Vegas to watch her fight. She lost, and you were broken up about it for a while. At the time, I just thought you were a fan, like any sports buff who chattered on and on about their favorite athlete. I never made the connection when you suggested we hire her. Something just never added up, Lorne. Now I know. And at the moment, you’re in love with her.”
Busted. Fuck.
He must have read the terror or dread on my face, because he asked, “Wait a minute. Does she even know you hired her because you’re a love-sick, crazy, obsessed fan yourself?”
I could not react fast enough. Words refused to make their way from my distressed brain to my speechless, tongue-tied mouth.
“Fuck. She doesn’t, does she? If you weren’t my son, I’d laugh at the irony. Well, Lorne, let me be the first to say, you’ve romantically screwed yourself up the ass.”
“I meant to tell her,” I finally got out. “I never got the chance…You can’t tell her about this, Kevin!”
He laughed. “Me? I have no time for games, Lorne. You should know that by now. But if you love her, you need to tell her. And here’s the kicker, son. Now there’s something more important than telling her. If you care about her, you need to get her out of harm’s way. As sexist as this is going to sound, real men never put their women in danger. She could be the female incarnation of Chuck Norris, and still, as the man who loves her, you cannot put her in the line of fire.”
God, I hated that he was right. He echoed every sentiment that had been running around my mind since the night Amanda got stabbed with the scissors. What kind of man was I to endanger the person I claimed to care about, on top of hiding the truth from her?
“Can you wait until after the tour to fall in love?” Kevin asked. “Because on top of all that, you’re a distraction to each other right now when you’re both supposed to be on top of your games. Either wait, or forget about the bodyguard thing and make her your girlfriend. But take it from me. You can’t have both. Ultimately, she can’t protect you and be your woman at the same time.”
Even with all the sense he made, I rebutted with, “Says the man who managed his wife’s career for almost two decades.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Explain.”
He looked out the window, seeming contemplative. “I made a lot of sacrifices with Lady, Lorne. This business could have easily torn us apart. I don’t want that for you.” He turned his head to look directly at me. “And are you honestly going to stand there and tell me you like the idea of turning the woman you love into a human shield to protect you?”
Shit. He had a point.
“Look, here’s what I’m willing to do. I’ll add more people to the team, just as you and Fred recommended. That means you’ll have a few more bodyguards. Fred still wants her to continue her role as they investigate, so I won’t come in the way of that. Beyond that, son, you have the reins.”
He walked past me and patted me on the shoulder before leaving the room.
Chapter 12 - Amanda
Being in LA felt better after the meetings where Fred set my mind at ease about my performance and laid out plans for the rest of the tour. I spent a blissful day and a half with Johnny. He had been so eager to please me from the moment I stepped into his house two weeks ago, and now that I let my guard down, he did not take a second for granted.
Today he was recording down in the basement. As our flight to Las Vegas was set for the next morning, Larry and I were taking turns monitoring the studio. I took advantage of the downtime to pack my suitcase for the three-night trip. As I picked out my clothes, the reality of returning to Miami hit me. In less than two weeks I would be going home for good. It was the first time the notion made me feel torn. My heart raced for a moment, but I quickly parked the thought—Johnny and I had not known each other long enough to make any long-term plans.
I finished packing and left my room to relieve Larry when a loud chiming sound interrupted my train of thought. Someone was at the door. The grounds security had obviously cleared them, so it had to be a legitimate visitor. The housekeeper answered, and Fred popped his head out of their office as well.
It was a delivery man. “Hi. Delivery for Miss Baker.”
Fred stepped out. “It’s okay, Amanda. The men at the gate cleared it already.”
“Okay.” I certainly hadn’t ordered anything.
The housekeeper signed for it and came back inside, a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms. She gingerly brought them to me and offered to put it in water. I gushed as soon as I saw them. They were nearly identical to the ones that had filled my room, and had to be from Johnny. I followed her to the kitchen, and she set them down on the counter to look for the card. It was a small one that read, ‘You’re beautiful’. That was it. I smiled and tucked the note in my pocket.
The doorbell chimed again, so the housekeeper excused herself to answer it. I was still admiring the flowers when she returned.
“Here, this is for you too,” she said.
It was a large pink bakery box tied shut with a satin bow.
“Oh, my God!” I sucked in a breath, instantly recognizing the store it came from. I untied the package, this time, unable to hide my zeal. I removed the lid and sure enough, the box was packed with stacks of my favorite cookies and cupcakes from Gilly’s Bakery in Miami. The scent filled the room with chocolaty, caramel sweetness only baked goods could produce. I snatched up one of the cookies, taking a deep breath before popping it into my mouth and letting it melt against my tongue.
Fred came in. “Everything is fine, right?”
“Yes. All good here. They’re goodies from my favorite bakery back in Miami.”
“Who sent them?”
“Johnny,” I cooed, my heart melting along with the delicate cookie that I had in my mouth.
Fred nodded and left, and had even turned down my offer to share the treats with him and his team. Their loss was my gain. I sighed and took another bite. Johnny certainly knew one way to my heart. I was finishing the last bite when it struck me. How had Johnny known about Gilly’s? I couldn’t remember ever mentioning it in conversation…and even if I had, how could he possibly know which ones I liked most?
Something felt off, but it was such a sweet gesture, the unsettling feeling was fleeting. I was giddy with good cheer. I put the smaller box of cupcakes in the fridge, left the cookie box out on the counter, and took the bouquet up to my room. Setting it on the dresser, I stood back for a moment, admiring the buds and blooms. I also wondered when Johnny got the chance to do this for me. I abandoned the flowers and took the back stairs to get down to Larry. He mentioned something about helping Lucas down at the district office and left.
As I waited in the outer sitting room of the recording studio, all I could think about was when he would finish recording so I could wrap my arms around him and thank him for being so kind and thoughtful to me.
* * *
A sound engineer and two of Johnny’s band members filed out to where I had been waiting. One of them told me everyone was wrapping up inside. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I waited for more of them to leave. It took almost an hour. I busied myself with checking emails and perusing Johnny’s website.
“Amanda?” Johnny came out from the studio. He was not the last to leave.
“Hi. How’s it going in there?”
“Good. Sorry this took so long.”
I headed straight for
him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I pressed the side of my head into his chest. “Don’t apologize. Work is work…Hey, thank you so much for the gift.” I looked up into is eyes. “I love those gorgeous flowers. And the treats were amazing. How did you know about Gilly’s?”
He looked behind me, and then down at me again. “I think you told me about it, didn’t you?”
“Really? I don’t remember that.” I studied his face.
He smiled, brushing it off. “How else would I have known?”
“I’m not sure. I guess I must have,” I said. An uneasiness still gnawed at me, but there was no other explanation. I must have told him about the cookies. “Anyway, thank you so much! They’re amazing. I doubt there are any left, but if there are, you have to try it.”
He nodded and leaned down, kissing my lips softly. “Definitely. Hey, speaking of eating, Kevin ordered take-out. How about I grab some of it, and you meet me in my room. I don’t think everyone’s leaving yet, and I need some private time with just you. We can relax a bit before we turn in.”
“All right. I’d like that.”
I pulled out of the embrace and gleefully followed him upstairs.
* * *
“How tired are you?” he asked after we finished eating.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“I’m wired. Do you want to watch a movie?”
I didn’t watch movies very often, but it actually sounded perfect. “That would be great.”