5.331 Miles: (Friends to lovers, second-chance romance)

by Willow Aster

  Jaxson and Miles both tried a few times to draw me into conversation, but it would remind Heather of something they’d done during the summer, her and Jaxson, or the three of them. I was exhausted by the time I got home.

  “I enjoyed this,” Miles said, when he pulled in front of my house. “Can we do it again? Maybe just the two of us next time, so I can get to know you better?”

  I smiled. “Sure. I’d like that.”

  Hmm. I looked up at the sky while I walked inside. Things like this didn’t just happen to me. Tyra was definitely working her magic up there.

  22

  PRESENT

  FINALLY! I have finally met the love of my life! And he’s mine, all mine. Well, Jaxson says I have to share him, but…he’s MINE.

  MY LAZING around does not fly on Saturday morning, with both Dave and Mum in the house. They insist that we go out for breakfast, so I begrudgingly fix my hair and put makeup on. I do feel better after leaving my room and getting out of my pajamas—more like myself, more energetic even.

  When we get back home, I show my mum the donations I’ve accumulated for Tyra’s Closet, a program that’s still going strong at the school, and we work on her closet for a while.

  My ankle hasn’t hurt as much, and when I sit down to take a break, I’m happy with all we’ve gotten done. I grab a pen and check off several things on my mum’s to-do list.

  My phone buzzes on the table.

  BE READY IN TWENTY MINUTES.

  Me: I’m in for the night. It’s been a busy day.

  I’ll be by to pick you up then.

  Me: Why does it feel like you’re not hearing me?

  Because I don’t like the answer you’re giving me.

  Me: You have the wrong number.

  Eighteen minutes now.

  I LAUGH EVEN though he’s being completely rotten. Dave comes through and sees me smiling.

  “What’s up?” he asks.

  “Jaxson is insane. He says he’s coming by in less than twenty minutes to pick me up. He’s playing over at Brigley’s tonight.”

  “Oh, that’s a great venue. Doesn’t sound insane to me.” He grins.

  “You’re all in this conspiracy together,” I moan. “I can’t get ready fast enough. It takes me twenty minutes just to get in and out of clothes and back down the stairs.”

  “You better hurry then.”

  I shake my head. “Whose side are you on?”

  “Yours, always yours,” he says.

  JAXSON WHISTLES when I open the door, looking me over. His eyes land on the cast and he shakes his head. “Damn, that cast is really working for you.”

  I shuffle out and he takes my hand and puts his other arm around my waist.

  “You don’t look like a granny at all,” he says.

  “I can’t keep up with you right now,” I say.

  He slows. “We don’t have to go so fast.”

  “I meant your brain. You’ve lost your mind.” I laugh.

  “Oh, well, yeah. Desperate times call for desperate minds, or something like that. Haven’t you heard?” He opens the door for me and leans against it once I’m in, smiling down at me. In the sunlight, his eyes are a collision of green and blue and a touch of grey. “I have a surprise for you first.”

  “Yay,” I say weakly.

  My defenses are wearing down fast. I might have to call for backup.

  THE LAST PLACE I expect him to pull up to is an old yellow building. He helps me out of the car and I question him all the way inside, but he doesn’t answer.

  When the door opens, the sound of dogs barking echoes around the high cement walls. Jaxson gives his name to the lady petting a dog at the front desk, and she smiles.

  “Oh hello, I’m Emmy, the one you’ve been speaking to. Follow me,” she says. “Grinch has been waiting.”

  “Grinch?” Jaxson and I say at the same time. We walk through a gate and then there are dogs everywhere. Different sized dogs are sectioned in separate areas, with various people either looking at them or holding them. Some stand pitifully, waiting to be noticed.

  “Oh, we name them once we rescue them. If this works out, you can name him yourself. Wait right here.”

  I look at Jaxson and he looks as if he’s going to bust, he’s smiling so big.

  “What did you do?” I ask.

  He makes a giddy face, and Emmy walks out holding a pitiful white fluff ball of a dog wearing the cone of shame. He has the saddest eyes and the top of his head is stained yellow, but he’s cute in spite of it all. Around his feet and belly, his hair is choppy.

  “He was rescued from an Amish puppy mill a week ago, neutered yesterday, so you’ll need to give him the rest of his medication. Don’t bathe him for another two weeks, just to make sure he’s all healed up from surgery. He hasn’t been off of a wire-bottomed cage, so his paws are a bit deformed. His nails had never been cut until this week, so he’s walking funny,” she scoffs. “You just can’t believe the things we see.”

  She hands Grinch to me and I melt. He nestles into me and doesn’t budge. My eyes fill with tears. “He’s so sweet,” I whisper. With one touch, it’s like I can feel all of his sadness seeping into me and I want to protect him from every bad thing that could ever happen to him, ever.

  “It might take some time for him to get used to everything. Like I was saying in our interview,” she motions to Jaxson, “rescue dogs are skittish. He’s around eight months though…not as old as a lot of our puppy mill rescues, so hopefully, he’ll come around quicker. Give him time. Keep a leash on him whenever you’re outside. If it goes well and you decide to keep him after this fostering process, come back in two weeks and we’ll make it official.”

  “Thank you,” he says. “Did you say an Amish puppy mill?”

  She nods grimly.

  “What the hell?” He looks at the dog and shakes his head. “We’ll take good care of him. His name won’t be Grinch though.”

  “Suit yourself,” she says. “Bye, Grinch-for-now. You’re a good boy.”

  She walks back to the front desk and I look at Jaxson. “You just got a dog? Just like that?”

  “We just got a dog,” he says. “Technically, he’s our foster dog, but…he’s not coming back here. Do you need me to carry him while we walk out?”

  I shake my head. “No, I’ll go slowly.”

  Jaxson snaps pictures of me with the puppy in the building and then when we step outside, he takes selfies of the three of us together. I move gingerly, wishing for the millionth time that I could get out of this cast already. When we get in the car, the puppy settles into my lap, angling his head to try to get comfortable with the cone. I take it off and he looks up at me gratefully.

  “There you go, buddy.”

  “It’s been a long time coming, but we can finally get started on number nine,” Jaxson says.

  “Number nine?”

  He gives me a look. “Number nine: Always have a dog,” he says, reaching over to pet him. “What are we gonna name him? How about Paul…Frank?”

  I look at him like he’s crazy but end up laughing.

  “I know-I know. Larry,” he says.

  “You’re terrible at this,” I tell him.

  “Larry,” he calls, and the dog looks up at him. “See? He likes it.”

  “How about Edwin or Bennett?” I suggest.

  “Ah. Something a little more refined…I can go there. Eugene?”

  I crinkle my nose.

  “Clarence?”

  I shake my head.

  “Right. That sounds too Amish. We can’t feed into his memories. Oh…I’ve got it…Winston,” he says.

  “Aw, that reminds me of—”

  “I know, me too…” he finishes.

  Mr. Winston was one of our teachers in Holmes Chapel and we loved him. He had hair coming out of his ears and was hard of hearing, so he talked really loud, but he made fourth grade English come to life.

  “Winston. I love that. It’s perfect. And I love you,” I tell
the puppy. He sniffs my nose and lays his head back on my lap. I look at Jaxson with stars in my eyes and he puts his hand on my cheek.

  “I should’ve started with number nine,” he says, his eyes crinkling up with his smile.

  I love it when he looks this happy. It’s been so long I almost forgot.

  “Who needs stinkin’ Paris and New York?” I say, my heart thumping fast.

  THE GIG IS on the patio and Jaxson had already made sure it was okay to have the dog out there while he plays, so he gets me settled and then goes to set up with the rest of the band. I sit as far from the speakers as I can get, just in case it scares Winston, but he’s content to sleep on my lap all night. I think he’s extra sleepy from the traumatic day before, so he doesn’t really budge. It’s like having a toasty live teddy bear curled up on my lap all night.

  Jaxson and the band blow me away. He has something really special, and together, he and the band are incredible.

  On the way to my house, I tell him so. “Have you really thought this through enough about the music career thing? Because I think you absolutely have what it takes.”

  He reaches over and runs his hand over my arm. “You really think so? Thank you, Bells.”

  “It’s hard to imagine you having all that talent and not doing it full-time…it’s kind of a crime. Everyone deserves the honor of hearing you sing your songs. Your whole stage presence…it just…well, I’m gushing, but it’s just true,” I trail off, embarrassed by how much I’m going on.

  “I don’t know what to say. That means everything to me,” he says quietly. “I guess I just think California, and the whole rest of the world for that matter, is full of talented people trying to make it. There are other things I can do well, that feel a lot safer.”

  “Just throwing it out there. If it’s something you want deep down inside…run after it.”

  “The only thing I feel that strongly about is you,” he says.

  “I walked right into that one, didn’t I,” I mutter.

  He laughs. “You did.” When we’re almost to my house, he says, “So I talked to your mum and Dave about the puppy and they’re good with it. Great, actually. But if you’re not ready for a dog yet, or even if you’d rather me have him until your ankle is better…I’ll take him home with me. I know I sprung this on you. Ideally, soon we’ll be living together and can both take care of him, but baby steps!”

  “You’re not taking him from me and we are not cohabitating. Slow down there, Romeo.”

  He parks in front of my house and holds his palms up like he’s giving in.

  “But thank you for Winston. He’s a dream. And proof that our list isn’t jinxed.”

  23

  PAST

  2014

  Dear Diary, I have so much to say, but all I’ll say is: there is a first time for everything and that was quite the first.

  You can read between the lines—you always do.

  All my love,

  Mira

  BY THE TIME I was getting ready for bed, I’d decided as weird as it was, my first date still hadn’t been all that bad. Miles was sweet and cute. He wanted to go out with me again, so that was a good sign.

  I pulled my nightie over my head and thought I heard something at my window. I smoothed my hair down and heard it again. Moving toward the window, I stopped to look out before lifting it up.

  “Can I come up?” Jaxson stood under the tree, smiling.

  “Uh, sure?” I hurriedly looked around for my robe to cover up more before remembering it was in the bathroom, and it was too late anyway—he was already at the window crawling in.

  Something about the way he looked at me made me shiver and I rubbed my arms. He zeroed in on the middle of my tiny racerback nightie to the word bombshell that sparkled across my chest. I felt like I should pull it up because it was so low, but it was already so short that he’d see the scrap of lace to my thong if I pulled it up even an inch. I should’ve thrown on a shirt. A coat. Anything. He grinned like he could hear my racing thoughts and moved closer, rubbing my arms with me.

  “You cold?” he asked.

  I shook my head and he stopped rubbing my arms but kept his hands there, looking down at me.

  “Today, when you said you’d lost two best friends—that hit me so hard. I know things have changed between us, which I hate…I hate the way things are between us, Bells. It might sound crazy to you since we haven’t talked in so long, but…I still think of you as my best friend. You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had and it might not seem that way since I have all these other friends too…and a girlfriend. I still wish you’d tell me if there’s more to why you’ve been mad at me, but—I’ve just thought we’d get back there eventually. Because it’s you and me, you know? You’re still the one I want to tell everything to, the one who knows me best of all.”

  He paused, maybe waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t know what to say.

  “We have the list we’ve committed to,” he added, smiling.

  I rolled my eyes, laughing, while inside I wanted to cry. “The list is a moot point now, don’t you think?”

  “Absolutely not!”

  I thought he was joking, but when I looked at him again, his face was red and his eyes were intense. I’d hurt his feelings.

  “I think you don’t know what you want,” I finally said. “You’re confused because I’m like, new and improved, I got attention today from a hot guy…and all of a sudden, you remember your good ol’ bestie.”

  His jaw clenched. “I came to your window twenty-five times this summer. Yeah, I counted. Twenty-five. And the year before that, probably a hundred. I haven’t seen you making any effort to talk to me…in years. Well, except at that Christmas party you came to, which made me hopeful, but then this year, you were a no-show.” He lowered his head. “I knew you were grieving, so I didn’t hold it against you, but Mira, I’ve tried. I don’t know what else to do here.”

  “I heard you talking to Heather about me at my birthday party a long time ago,” I said. “That Anne made you come, that you didn’t want to be my friend anymore, about my weight…all of it.”

  The color left his face and he took a step back. “I didn’t say that.”

  “You did. I heard it. You said it.”

  “I’d told Heather you were acting so different here, different than you were at home, and she might’ve thought I didn’t want to be your friend, but that’s not how I ever felt.”

  “Well, that’s how you let her think you were feeling, which is just as bad. You think I want to be some hanger-on that your mum forces you to be around? No, thank you.”

  He put his hands on my cheeks and stepped closer. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me. I promise you I have never felt forced to be around you. I love you. You’re my family.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. I knew he meant what he was saying, or at least thought he did, but hearing that I was his family felt about the way it had when I’d heard Heather say I was like his sister. A tear dripped on his hand and he wiped it away.

  “Bells,” he leaned closer, “please tell me you’re hearing me.”

  I nodded and his forehead softly bumped mine. We stayed suspended in that moment, staring at each other, not saying a word. But then the air shifted. His hand moved to my hair and he tugged on it, making the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. My heart thumped so loud I knew he could probably hear it.

  I licked my lips, suddenly dry, and his eyes followed every move. He looked hungry and my eyes widened when he came closer, closing the gap between us. His lips were soft and full and better than I’d ever imagined, and I’d imagined them plenty. I wrapped my arms around his neck when he deepened the kiss and his hand gripped my waist, bringing me even closer. When my hands found his curls, I thought I’d truly gone to heaven. I couldn’t get close enough, even on my tiptoes. We kissed like we were starving.

  He stopped long enough to grab my legs and wrap them around his waist, his hands landing o
n my bare backside. When his hands squeezed, we both moaned and the sound embarrassed me but made him kiss me harder. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought niggled and I pushed it away until finally, I had to catch a breath and that was when it all rushed back.

  “Heather,” I whispered. “What about Heather?”

  He was already moving forward to kiss me again but stopped when the question hit him. His eyes widened in alarm and he rubbed his lips together, setting me down carefully.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…do that—I mean, I wanted to…I really, really wanted to,” he stuttered. “Mira, that was—” he started.

  “You should go,” I interrupted whatever he was about to say and moved away from him, walking to the window.

  “The best kiss,” he finished.

  I flushed and couldn’t look at him as he walked to the window.

  “I can’t believe I kissed you,” he said. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to really kiss you, and damn…that…”

  He couldn’t seem to stop talking and I just wanted him to leave. He was going to leave anyway and everything would be different again.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you when I have a girlfriend,” he said. “Mira, look at me.” He lifted my chin and I finally looked at him. “Did I just wreck everything even more?”

  So many things crossed my mind to say. Your girlfriend has cheated on you with your best friend before, so maybe this is not so bad—oh, and she’s also a bitch. And yeah, you probably have wrecked everything because how am I going to be around you and not want to kiss you like that every time?

  But instead, I squared my shoulders. “No, you didn’t. I’m fine.”

  “Will we be fine?” he asked.

  “Sure.” I nodded. “We’re Jaxson and Bells…we’ll be fine.”

  That was the answer he wanted to hear. He beamed, pleased and happy and hopeful. He climbed out of the window and down the tree, waving when he reached the bottom.

  I went to bed, a mass of confusion. My first date and my first kiss all on the same day and with two different people…