Devil's Choice

by Graham Wilson

  “So why don’t you head home now. I will ring you tomorrow to work out the details from here.”

  Catherine had a real skip in her step as she walked home. She was tired but felt incredibly well. She loved this job. She realised she was starving again too. She hoped her Gran had kept her some dinner. Sure enough a plate of roast lamb and vegetables was waiting for her and, as she ate it, she chatted with her Gran, bubbling with excitement, telling her all the stories of the night.

  After that she settled into a regular routine of Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and a couple times she came in for Wednesdays when Christmas parties were booked. Mathew never booked her for Monday night, his own main night and there was awkwardness between them since that first day meeting at the bar doors, both a bit self conscious in the other’s presence.

  A week before Christmas David came home from his job working on an iron ore mind out of Port Hedland. Catherine really enjoyed his company. On her nights off he would take her out to the many other places he knew around the town and on the Sunday before Christmas Patsy invited Mathew around for lunch of roast chicken.

  David was the centre of attention and regaled them all with tales about himself working in the west, mining. He had learned to set explosives to blast away the sides of the mountains, other times he worked with the machinery, dump trucks with tyres three times his height, the huge trains that were miles long and hauled the ore down to the port and all the ships that queued up to load.

  David had gone up to see Catherine’s Mum, Lizzie, and the family for a week about three months ago. He worked in Port Hedland and Mount Newman and they lived only four hundred miles away in Broome, though the road was bad, “corrugations that could swallow a truck,” he said. So he was also full of news of them all including the antics of Cathy’s brother and sister. Tomorrow her whole family was due in Sydney. This year they were coming for a Sydney family holiday and Cathy had been looking forward to it for the year.

  Mathew joined in the conversation about David a bit, but said nothing of himself or his family. After half an hour of conversation about David and his deeds Cathy decided to interrupt, wanting to know something about Mathew, his brother and his own family.

  She wondered, as no one else had asked about them, whether it was a subject she should raise. But finally her curiosity got the better of her. When a brief lull came in the conversation she turned to Mathew and said. “You must be sick of hearing about our family. What about yourself, your brother who was David’s friend and your own Mum and Dad?”

  There was a slightly awkward pause, as if others knew the answer.

  But Mathew turned to her with a smile and said, “Fair question, it must seem odd that I don’t talk about them. There is not much to say, really. Three years ago my brother Pete was travelling around America, he had just finished school the year before. One day he got in a fight with a couple crazy guys. They beat him up real bad. He died in hospital a week later, he never woke up. Eventually they turned off the machine that was keeping him alive.

  “My Dad died when I was young; he was around the same age as your Grandpa when he died. So then it was just my Mum at home, alone. At that time I was working for an oil company in Kuwait in the Middle East making good money. So it was time for me to come home.

  “But my Mum never really got over the shock and she died a year later as well. They said she had a heart attack, but I think it was as much from a broken heart. Of course she loved me too but Pete was the apple of her eye, much the same way that David is for your Mum.

  “So now it is just me in Balmain, though I have an uncle, aunt and two cousins who live in Brisbane. After I came home I decided I liked living here in Balmain again, I still have lots of friends here. As I had made good money working in Kuwait I used it to buy the hotel, and am now gradually turning it into a business which pays its way.

  “It was quite run down when I bought it. The person who owned it before me had drunk most of the profits away. But it is busy and I have paid down a big part of the debts the last owner ran up, enough for it to start giving me back some money to live on. It needs a new coat of paint and things fixed up. But it is paying its way. I hope in a year or two it should be making real money after each week’s expenses again.

  Cathy felt awkward; the others obviously knew this story. She said, “I am sorry, I did not know. It must be hard for you after all that.”

  Mathew flashed her a warm, direct smile. “No, I am glad you asked. Bad things happen which cannot be undone, but we have to get through them as best we can. And it is better to talk about it than not.”

  Then it was desert and a cup of tea. The conversation moved on to the arrival of Cathy’s family tomorrow which all were excited about. Not long after this Mathew made his excuses, saying it was a pity but he had yet more paperwork to do on this lovely sunny Sunday and must away.

  Christmas and New Year passed in an excited blur. Catherine was really busy with both work and doing family things, days at the beach playing with her brother and sister like a teenager again, fantastic presents from her Mum and Dad and, early in the New Year, the whole family went away for a summer beachside holiday on the far south coast of NSW. Robbie’s Mum came up from her home near Melbourne and they had two lovely weekends and the week in between, days at the beach, nights having barbeques and playing cards, walks in the mountains and fishing in the inlet.

  At the end of the holiday they drove on to Melbourne and spent a couple days at her second Gran’s place in Warburton. Cathy thought this was the most beautiful place she had ever been, a country town in a green valley ringed by towering mountains. Her Gran said that in the winter at times all the high hills around would be white with snow, now they were covered in thick green forest, with clouds around their edges and mist drifting down into the valley in the early mornings.

  Finally the holiday was over. In Melbourne Cathy said goodbye to the others and she and her Gran, Patsy, caught the flight back to Sydney.

  The house in Balmain felt strangely silent and empty as they came home. They were both a bit sad, missing the noise and laughter of everyone else in the house. She walked over to her Gran and hugged her. “I miss them all,” she said, “but still I am glad to be back here with you. Somehow Balmain feels like home now.” She looked at her Gran’s thin face, tears in both their eyes.

  Her Gran said, “I am glad you are happy here. It was very lonely for me when your Mum went away and now that David is gone too I feel so lucky to have you here. I am glad you like it too. Our old Balmain house does have a good feeling doesn’t it? I have always liked living here.

  “You know what, there is nothing in the house for dinner, and I think I would rather eat out. I hear tell that the pub you work in has a new cook and does excellent crumbed lamb cutlets for dinner. That is the sort of dinner I feel like, why don’t we eat up there?

  “It would also be nice to see Mathew again after the time away, since you started working there it is like being back to all those years ago when David and Peter were forever together and Mathew would call round in the evening to collect his younger brother who never wanted to go home. Then it felt like they were part of my family. Now that I have caught up with him again it feels the same. I feel like I should have invited him around for Christmas but it got forgotten with everything else happening. So tonight we can give him our best of Christmas and New Year wishes.”

  So they walked the ten minutes up to the main street, and were welcomed like royalty. It was a quiet night so Mathew came and ate with them. They all swapped stories. He had flown to Brisbane for two days to have Christmas with his cousins, so he would not have been around for an invitation from them in any event. But now he was back and his Sunday calendar was almost permanently free. So he was booked again for a Sunday lunch the following Sunday.

  It was a lovely meal and the three of them sat and talked after for a couple hours. Finally in the mid afternoon he made his excuses and left. This was the first time Cathe
rine had really felt relaxed in his company and when he left, she felt she had made a friend. She felt tempted to offer to walk with him as he left but felt it might be too forward.

  In January work continued as usual, though she did shorter shifts from three to seven each night as there was not enough business to stay on until ten when the pub closed.

  An Uncertain Future

  January passed by and then it was February. Catherine had got her exam results just before Christmas and they were good. This meant she should have the choice of various subjects and Universities if she wanted. She was inclined towards Sydney University, only because it was close by, and she should have the marks for any of the course she had nominated. The trouble was she was unsure if this was what she wanted.

  At the end of January she had got notified that she had been accepted to University and could enrol in her course of choice or a range of other options. So now she had to decide but she really did not know what she wanted to do. She had a couple more weeks until the acceptances had to be confirmed. She found herself procrastinating.

  Julie encourage her to enrol for Law, her mother encouraged Science, she herself had a slight preference towards the Arts with a humanities focus and subjects like Anthropology and History, but she knew well that there were very few jobs for people working in that field except for becoming a school teacher and she really did not want to become a teacher.

  She had always thought economics and commerce were beyond boring. But now she was working in the hotel she started to conceive an interest in commerce. After all it was about how to make money and she saw that this business she worked for was a money making machine.

  She and Ella had become close friends and a couple times, when business was slack, they found themselves engaged in deep conversations about what they would do if they had unlimited money; would they open a business to make yet more money, would they give it to charity, would they go off and travel the world and see and experience everything that was out there, would they buy a hotel as Mathew had?

  They could see the way the money flowed through the bar and the tills and this seemed to be the most profitable bit. Even though the food seemed to make money there were a lot more expenses with it, the ingredients, the chef, serving and cleaning all the dishes, whereas for the pub most of the costs came from the supply of beer and staff wages. They both formed the view that a pub was a good business to make money, provided you got regular patrons.

  But none of that helped her decide what to do with her life and what course to choose. She found herself wishing she could talk to Mathew about her options but, despite her working for him, she saw surprisingly little of him. On the nights she worked it was usually only her and Ella. Mathew at most made an occasional appearance. He had also skipped the last two Sunday dinners. She wished she could have an hour or two to talk to him, one on one, she was sure he would have a much clearer idea than her about what were good future choices.

  She half wondered about going and knocking on his door, she knew the street number and had walked past a couple times, but each time her courage had failed her. He also seemed gaunt looking of late, as if he had worries of his own. She did not want to burden him with her minor life decisions. So she procrastinated and the days drifted by.

  A couple times she asked her Gran what she thought, but her Gran’s advice, though sensible, did not take her very far.

  “Do whatever you want to dear, and don’t worry if you get it wrong. You can always start one thing and then change to something else a bit later if you realise that you have made a mistake or really want to do something different.

  “But you should get a qualification; it is something that gives a girl a choice, apart from getting married and having babies. You are much too smart to just stay at home like that.”

  So while that was alright it did not really take her anywhere. She supposed, when the final day came, she would elect to study Arts-Law at Sydney University which was what Julie recommended. Even though the Law did not inspire her the Arts part would be interesting and at the end she would have a qualification to earn money doing something other than teaching.

  She also tried to talk to her friends from school but none of them had much more idea than her about what they really wanted to do. As none of the others had a job they were all a bit bored from sitting around at home and they thought of University as the next adventure of life. All their parents seemed well enough off so they did not need to work to get money. They had been mostly spending their summer at the beach and now were ready to extend their social lives to University. Most of her girl friends were more into boys at this stage, experimenting in going out and dating different boys, some of them going on the pill and trying the sex thing. So that is where the conversations went, rather than the best courses for their future lives.

  Catherine had gone to church, at least since she had been staying with her Gran. Though she was not sure if she quite believed it all, and her Grandmother was no prude, she decided she did not want to try the sex thing right now. What the church said about getting married and loving someone first seemed to make a kind of sense to her.

  She had seen how happy her Mum was with her Dad; that was what love should be like, and even though her Mum had a baby when she was fifteen and worked as a prostitute for a bit, that was hardly of her choosing, it was what she did to survive.

  Catherine did not need to do anything like that to survive so she would not rush off to bed with someone just because they wanted her to.

  So she continued to work at the pub and delay the decision about her future. Finally with two days to go she made up her mind, based on impulse. Her Mum had showed how successful one could be when they put their mind to a business. Her Mum had plenty of brains but her education had stopped when she was fourteen. But even so she had used starting her own business to make her own way in life, not dependent on others. By the age of twenty one, only two and a half years older than Catherine was now, she had made more money than most people twice her age. So if it was good enough for her mother to go into business it would be good enough for her.

  So she filled out the forms nominating business studies as her first choice – a degree in Commerce but still with an Arts component so she could study some history and other Arts subjects. She felt relieved once she had made the choice. Now she could get on with the rest of her life. One of the men at work was keen on her; perhaps she would go out with him.

  His name was Richard; he was in his mid twenties and was good looking, though a bit too cute and full of himself for her liking. But he told funny stories at the pub which entertained her and the others, even if they were not really very nice, often the humour seemed a bit cruel to her.

  He had already invited Catherine out to dinner a couple times and at first she had not answered. But her Gran encouraged her to accept, saying “If you like him just go, at least once. It doesn’t have to be any more than that unless you want it to be.”

  On the first night Richard had walked her home politely and gave her a peck on the cheek at the front door. Catherine liked him well enough and enjoyed his company for the evening but did not want it to go any further. She was relieved he had not tried anything more. The next time he asked she felt good enough about him to go out again.

  The second time, after dinner and a couple glasses of wine for each of them, he persuaded her to come with him to another hotel, down near the Victoria Road end of Rozelle where a live band was playing. Richard was drinking much more than her; he had gone onto beers when they came here and downed three in rapid succession, whereas Catherine sipped a tonic water.

  Now he wanted to dance with her. Somewhat reluctantly Cathy got up with him. She had never learned to dance in Broome and did not have much idea, but she moved her body round in time with the music, enjoying the rapid beat which thrummed through her body and mind. The next dance was slow. Now Richard put his hand round her body and pulled her in close. She could feel his hands on her bottom massaging
it. It made her feel uncomfortable, then she realised he was trying to kiss her.

  So she broke away and went to sit down. He came back, looking a bit cross.

  She said. “I would like to go home now. I am happy to walk by myself if you want to stay.”

  He decided he would walk along with her and the fresh air seemed to clear his head as they walked along Darling Street. Then he suggested that they cut through the back streets as it was shorter than walking all the way up to Montague Street, the main street which took her home and the way she would normally follow at this time of night. She thought she might even call in for a soft drink at the hotel where she worked as it was near the Montague Street corner and it would be good to chat to Ella who would still be at work.

  However Richard was determined to take the shortcut. She went with him, reluctantly. Half way along they came to a little park. He said he wanted to sit down and rest for a little while.

  She realised he was quite drunk, he was swaying as she walked, so she stopped to wait for him. He sat into the middle of a park seat, half slumped. He asked her to come and sit next to him while he rested.

  Catherine sat down near the end, trying to keep her distance.

  Next thing he leaned towards her, put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. Now he was trying to kiss her again and at the same time he put his hand up under her skirt.

  She decided she did not like where this was leading. She pulled away suddenly, standing up and stepping back. In a second she was three steps away. He was still groping around as if he did not know where she had gone as she looked back at him.