Crushed

by Amity Hope

Cleo realized then that he’d only been coming home to check on her. To see if what Luci had told him was true. He was trying to catch her doing something she had agreed not to do.

  Luci collapsed into her. Cleo tried to quiet her sobbing. They were sitting in the mess made from the cake but neither of them could move just yet. She didn’t know how long it took them to pull themselves together.

  She finally managed to get to her feet again. She told Luci she needed to go to bed and then she took a shower. She had cake and frosting in her hair. Her thigh was sticky from the remnants of cake she’d scraped off. Her body was already starting to bruise. Angry, ugly marks splotched across her stomach, thigh and shoulder.

  She stood under the scalding water longer than necessary. When she was finally done, she came back out to find that Luci had cleaned up the cake mess. The wall and the floor were spotless. The entryway smelled like pine scented cleaner.

  She didn’t bother going to her room to tuck her in. She knew she wouldn’t be there.

  “Hey,” she said as she went into her own room. Luci had taken her nightlight from her room and plugged it into Cleo’s wall. Cleo could see her curled up in her bed. She shut her door and clicked the lock even though she was sure Paul would not be coming back. Not tonight, anyway.

  “Are you okay?” Luci asked. Cleo could tell she was trying not to cry. She was trying to be strong for her big sister.

  “Absolutely,” Cleo lied as she slid into bed beside her. Luci carefully hugged her and Cleo hugged her back. She smelled like pine cleaner and cake.

  “Are you going to leave me?” she finally asked and her voice broke. “Is he going to make you go away?”

  “No,” Cleo tried to assure her.

  “He said—”

  “I don’t care what he said,” Cleo told her as she cut her off. “I’m taking care of things so that won’t happen.”

  “How?” she demanded.

  “You don’t need to worry about that.”

  She was quiet for a bit but Cleo knew she was not sleeping.

  “Who will take care of me if you go away?” she asked after a long while. “I don’t want to be all alone.” Her voice was so small and quiet it made Cleo’s heart ache.

  “You’re never going to be alone, Sweat Pea. I promise,” Cleo said as she gave her a squeeze.

  “I miss Mom,” she finally said.

  “I know Luci, me too,” Cleo admitted.

  “And I miss Reece…”

  Cleo rubbed Luci’s back until she knew she was out. Then she lay there, letting herself think of Reece and remembering how good it felt to have his arms around her again.

  ***

  “Cleo? Cleo?” Luci said as she shook her shoulder. The one that wasn’t bruised. “Cleo, wake up.”

  She had a brief battle with her eyelids, fighting to force them open.

  “The alarm went off,” Luci told her.

  “Okay,” she said in a voice that didn’t sound like her own.

  She blinked at the clock. The alarm must’ve gone off a little while ago. It was not unlike Luci to sleep through it. Cleo was actually surprised she had awakened at all. She wondered how long Luci had been trying to wake her.

  Her body creaked to life as she managed to roll out of bed in slow motion. With Luci sitting right there, she bit her lip and fought the urge to whimper.

  She hurt. She hurt everywhere. The first thing she did when she hobbled into the bathroom was take a few pain killers. She would have to hide them in her jacket pocket because they weren’t allowed on school grounds. But she already knew there would be no way she could make it through the day without them.

  Getting out of her pajamas and into some clothes was a painful ordeal. She opted for loose, comfy yoga pants. She tried not to care what sort of comments Mia would be making about her haphazard attire.

  She started to fret obsessively about her appearance because it was a distraction from worrying about anything else.

  Her hair was a tangled catastrophe sprouting out from her head because she had gone to bed with it wet. She was fairly certain she’d tossed and turned quite wildly all night long. She was in the bathroom trying to tame it when Luci came to check on her. It was hard to raise her arm above shoulder level, to try to get at the tragedy that was her hair.

  “Let me,” Luci insisted. She took the brush from Cleo’s hand. Cleo sat on the closed toilet seat and Luci gently calmed the chaos. She sat with her eyes closed, relishing the feeling of closed lids. Luci moved away and came back at her with a rubber band. She carefully twisted Cleo’s locks into a ponytail. “Done,” she finally said.

  Luci stepped back to appraise her, a wrinkle appeared between her brows. “You might want to put on make-up,” she told Cleo as she slid a gentle finger across her pale cheek.

  “Will do,” Cleo readily agreed.

  Luci left and for the first time Cleo took a good look at herself in the mirror. She had the face of her nightmares; a pale, ghostly death pallor. Her eyes were bloodshot, sunken and hollow. She had what looked like skid marks under them. She worked with her concealer first and went from there.

  When she was done she realized there was almost zero chance of catching the bus. They’d had such a slow start to the day. She briefly considered staying home but then she’d have to deal with getting permission slips from Paul to excuse both Luci and herself. She was not going to deal with that. Not today. No telling what kind of mood he’d be in if he thought she let Luci skip school for no apparent reason.

  She wanted nothing more than to stay home and curl up in bed but again, she was not willing to ask for a note to excuse herself. Suddenly it occurred to her that she was not a minor anymore and maybe she didn’t have to get Paul’s consent. The lines had been blurry on this because she’d been too afraid to ask for clarification. She decided at some point to check with the school secretary on this. Legally, she was no longer a child. Technically, she was parentless. This was something she hadn’t wanted to bring to anyone’s attention while she was a minor. She figured now, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it.

  “The bus just went by,” Luci said mournfully as she met Cleo in the hallway.

  She sighed. As ludicrous as it was, she decided to call a taxi. She’d have to use the emergency cash that she’d taken out for the pizza.

  “Come eat,” Luci insisted. She’d poured Cleo a bowl of corn flakes. It was soggy and Cleo wasn’t the least bit hungry. She ate it anyway while Luci ate hers because Luci was watching over her like a momma bear looking over her cub.

  “What’s that?” Cleo asked as she noticed a blue plastic bag on the table.

  Luci pulled out a pile of books. “I found them in the entryway last night. There was a note from Reece inside. They’re new releases that our library doesn’t have yet,” she said. A subtle smile fought its way onto her lips.

  The sight of the books and Luci’s grateful smile made Cleo want to burst into tears all over again.

  By the time the taxi pulled up, the edge of the pain had dulled a bit. Luci handed Cleo her soft purple lunch box. She informed Cleo that she’d made a sandwich and packed her lunch while she was busy trying to fix her face.

  It hit Cleo again how much she loved this kid.

  The middle school started later than the high school. Still, Luci got dropped off without a lot of time to spare. Cleo told her to hurry. Then she smiled when Luci actually listened and trotted off down the sidewalk.

  Cleo was a good half an hour late by the time the taxi delivered her to her destination. She was glad no one was outside to witness the odd occurrence. She’d convinced herself she was the only person in the history of Sheridan High that had ever willingly paid for a ride to school.

  She briefly considered going to the office to try to figure out the state of her guardianship, or lack thereof. She decided against it for fear that the school secretary would insist on calling Paul to discuss matters.

  She didn’t want to bother him at work.

&n
bsp; She didn’t actually want to involve him at all.

  She made her way through the empty halls to her locker.

  She realized that she had not done her homework.

  She still needed to buy Luci some new pajamas.

  They were almost out of milk.

  After the cab ride, she had almost no money left in her hot chocolate canister.

  She was glad there was leftover pizza for Luci to have for dinner.

  Her head was desperately trying to think of anything other than the mess she was in.

  Chapter 18

  Reece officially broke up with Mia after he left Cleo’s. He knew he should’ve done it Friday. He should’ve tracked her down, wherever she’d run off to and taken care of it. No, scratch that. He never should have been with her in the first place. He broke up with her via text. Under normal circumstances he’d agree that breaking up via text was a spineless way to go. Considering that he did drive to her house, only to find the lights all off and Colby’s car parked out front—again—he’d say he was justified.

  As far as he was concerned, this worked out for the best. He didn’t want to have a confrontation that would take up space in his head. The only thing he wanted to allow into his head were thoughts of Cleo. He wondered if she would have let him kiss her if he would’ve for sure already broken up with Mia. He thought—he was sure, actually—that there was a damn good chance she would have.

  Last night had been just like old times. Like all of the nights last year where they hung out; Cleo, Luci and him just having fun. There was no way she could deny that she didn’t miss it to. He could see it etched across her face.

  At first, he wasn’t sure he was even going to stay. He had thought maybe he’d drop off everything and go if she acted like she didn’t want him there. With her hot and cold attitude lately, he wasn’t sure what to expect. He would’ve left if she would’ve asked. Because the last thing he wanted was to ruin her birthday.

  But she didn’t ask him to leave. And more than anything, he had wanted to stay.

  He’d realized she was wearing an old t-shirt of his. An old summer league baseball one that he hadn’t missed. It probably hadn’t meant anything but he was happy to see her with it on.

  He had been so close to driving back to her house after he sent that text to Mia. But he knew Paul was there. He didn’t want to push it too much in one night.

  And Paul? What had that been about? he couldn’t stop wondering. Reece had never liked the guy. And he realized Paul had probably never really liked him, either. But he’d always been civil. Last night, he’d been seething.

  Reece had waited at Cleo’s locker in the morning but she never showed. He walked into class, just as the bell rang, thinking maybe he’d missed her and she’d snuck in early with Emma. Emma was in her desk but Cleo wasn’t.

  Nearly half way through the hour, Cleo slipped in.

  Mr. Jessen stopped talking to the class so he could look at her. He immediately frowned.

  “Do you have a late pass?” he asked.

  She rolled her lips in and shook her head. “No, sorry,” she finally said.

  Something was wrong. Reece was not the only one that knew it. Mr. Jessen sensed it too. His frown deepened when Cleo carefully lowered herself into her desk. She was moving like an old arthritic grandma. Her eyes were swollen. Worse than they were when she was simply overly-tired. And what Reece would expect them to look like if she’d been crying.

  Her hair…well, he wasn’t sure what to think about that. Other than it was in a floppy, lopsided ponytail. It looked like a kid did it. It looked like Luci did it.

  He was not the only one on high alert here. Cleo sat diagonal from him. Emma was in his line of sight between them. She’d shot up in her desk and her head was tilted in Cleo’s direction as well. Cleo didn’t look at either of them. Her movements were slow. It was painful to watch because it was so obvious that something was not right.

  Mr. Jessen cleared his throat and turned back to the rest of them. “Well, since we have half an hour left, I think we could spend a little bit of time showing our school spirit. Let’s get some posters made for this weekends’ game. You might as well pair up. Supplies are up here.”

  Cleo glanced at Reece as everyone started moving around. He motioned to the supplies, letting her know he’d get them. She nodded.

  By the time he grabbed them, Mr. Jessen was talking to her. They slipped out into the hallway. He slid a desk next to hers. Then he spread the poster sized paper and the handful of markers he’d grabbed across the table their desks had been made into.

  Because they were in the two seats closest to the door, he could make out bits of their conversation.

  He could hear Mr. Jessen’s concern as clearly as he could hear the actual questions. Cleo tried to laugh. She said she fell in the shower last night. He asked her if she needed to go to the nurse. She told him no. He asked why she didn’t get a late pass. Reece heard her tell him that her step-father had already left for work by the time she got up. So she didn’t have a written excuse for being late. She told him her alarm didn’t go off. Despite the noise the class was making Reece still heard Mr. Jessen tell her he would let it slide this time. He wouldn’t mark her as late. But if she needed anything, to let him know.

  Reece heard Cleo thank him.

  When they came back in Mr. Jessen was still frowning. Cleo was way too interested in her shoes. She slipped into her desk, going out of her way to not look at Reece.

  He felt his eyebrows shoot up. “You fell in the shower?”

  She gave him an embarrassed look. “Kind of funny, huh?”

  Is she kidding?! “Are you kidding?” he blurted. “No, Cleo. No, not funny at all. You look…”

  “Like hell?” she supplied when he faltered.

  She did, actually. But he would rather eat hot coal than ever tell her that. “You don’t look the best,” he said as a compromise. “How did you fall?”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t realize I spilled shampoo on the shower floor and I stepped in it. It was slippery. I slipped.” She said it like it should be obvious.

  “Are you sure you didn’t break anything? Or crack anything?” He’d had a hairline fracture once when he’d been hit by a bat in Little League.

  Another shrug. “Pretty sure. What do you think about blue?”

  “Blue? Blue what?” he demanded.

  “Blue for the poster,” she said as she tried to deflect the current conversation.

  This was the Cleo he used to know. This was what she used to do. She avoided and she deflected.

  “What did you land on?” he asked.

  “Land on…? Oh, the side of the tub.”

  Reece shook his head. “No you’re obviously in pain. What part of your body did you land on?”

  She nibbled her lip for a minute. “Here,” she admitted as she vaguely pointed to her thigh and stomach area.

  “Then why aren’t you moving your arm?” he asked. She wasn’t exactly cradling it. But she hadn’t really moved it either.

  “Oh, I hit my shoulder, too” she said. She tapped the top of her right shoulder with her left fingertips.

  “Way up there?” he asked.

  “Purple might work, too,” Cleo told him.

  “Blue is better,” he told her. “How did you hit way up there?”

  She rolled her lips in again. As if she had to think about it. Reece wondered if she was trying to remember what happened. But how could she have forgotten?

  “Maybe I bounced,” she suggested. “Pass me the purple marker, please.”

  He tried to continue with his questioning but she wasn’t giving up anything more.

  He couldn’t stop worrying about her, even after class got over.

  He skipped his fourth hour, Cleo’s lunch hour.

  He found her outside with Emma. They were sitting behind those juniper trees that he hated. Cleo was leaning up against the school. She’d taken an ice pack out of her lunch box. She lifted h
er shirt and there was an ugly, angry, plum colored bruise taking up most of her stomach.

  His own stomach clenched painfully at the sight of it.

  She slid the ice pack onto it and let her shirt drop.

  He hated seeing Cleo hurt. It kind of made him feel like he was going to throw up.

  Almost a year ago, shortly after they had started dating, she’d come to school with her bottom lip split open. Luci left her shoes in the living room. Cleo got up in the dark to get something and tripped over them, hit the coffee table.

  He was feeling a little bit now like he did then. Only the look on Emma’s face as he walked toward them looked more like outrage than sympathy. Emma was talking but Cleo had her eyes closed as her head rested against the brick building.

  At the time Cleo split her lip open, he had worried that she’d been lying about what happened. Or at the very least, he had to wonder if there was more to the story. He’d wondered if maybe she didn’t trust him enough to tell him. A lot of people know about her step-dad. That he wasn’t exactly reputable. He’d never heard of him being violent, even though he did ask around. He’d even flat out asked her and she’d looked at him like he was crazy. Then nothing else suspicious happened. Until now. And he wouldn’t even be feeling all that suspicious because accidents do happen—people do run Escalades into garage doors and people do fall down in showers—but Emma was so clearly irate about something.

  “Reece!” Emma finally realized he had walked right up to them.

  He nodded at her, but turned his attention to Cleo. “Can we talk for a second?”

  She nodded and got to her feet, though he wanted to tell her she didn’t have to.

  “No more questions, okay?” she said as she leaned against the wall.

  It wasn’t okay but he agreed anyway. “Okay. I wanted to tell you something. I broke up with Mia last night, for sure,” he said. He didn’t know why this should make him nervous but it did.

  Somehow, more color drained from Cleo’s already pale face. “You did what? I hope you didn’t do that because of me.”

  “I did it because I don’t like her. I realized I’ve never really liked her,” he tried to explain. What he really wanted to say, what he had planned on saying was that he wanted to try to make things work with her. With Cleo. But her attitude instantly made him think this wasn’t a good idea. Being impassive would have been bad enough but she looked downright upset.