Crushed

by Amity Hope

  “Is everything okay?” she asked. Her eyes darted from Cleo to Emma and back to Cleo again as they stood there. They had just gotten back to the Donovan’s and they were still holding their school bags and wearing their jackets. “You know I don’t mind having you girls stay here. You’re welcome anytime. But if something is going on, I’d like to know.”

  “Nothing is going on, Mom,” Emma said as she stepped in for her friend. “It’s just that Cleo and Luci have been home alone a lot. Paul’s spending a lot of time with…” she made a face to indicate something, or someone, unpleasant.

  “Ah,” Patty said, her expression turning to one of distaste. “He still has his mistress.”

  Cleo almost snorted in contempt. ‘Mistress’ sounded so prim and proper. She could think of a few much shorter words that were a whole lot more fitting for someone like that.

  While what Emma said was the truth, they both knew it wasn’t the reason. Otherwise she and Luci would be at the Donovan’s house every single weekend. And then some.

  “Just don’t forget to give him a call back,” Patty said. She turned to leave but swung back around. “I almost forgot. We’re going out for dinner tonight. Elli has a recital. We’d love to have you come along.”

  “Thanks, maybe I will,” she fibbed. She knew it was a family dinner. While she knew they would make her feel welcomed, she didn’t want to intrude.

  They headed up to Emma’s room. It had lavender walls and a cream comforter. Without meaning to, she could never stop contrasting it with her own, bleak bedroom with its white walls and worn out quilt.

  Even Ethan’s room with its brown walls and brown and cream plaid comforter was so much more inviting than her own.

  Emma handed her phone to Cleo. There was no way she was going to call Paul. She wasn’t up for a confrontation of any sort. She simply sent him a text reminding him that Luci wasn’t with her and that she would be home on Sunday.

  “So,” Emma said, “now that that’s taken care of, we need to talk.”

  “And if I don’t want to?” Cleo tried.

  “Too bad,” Emma said firmly. She flung herself down on her bed.

  Cleo sat next to her. She scooted up to the top and grabbed a pillow. Just so she’d have something to fidget with.

  “I know you were avoiding me last night. I let it go because I wanted to give you some time. And Luci was here and she was already not acting like her usual, cheery little self. But I saw the bruises.” Cleo hadn’t even bothered to tell Emma the same thing she’d tried telling Reece and Mr. Jessen. Yesterday at lunch, she had guessed what happened. Cleo hadn’t denied it. That’s why Emma had insisted Luci and Cleo come over. Cleo was grateful she hadn’t pressed her on it then. But not surprised that she was now. “How often does this happen? How long has it been going on?”

  Cleo shrugged. “It doesn’t happen often. And only since my mom has been gone.”

  Her mom never would’ve allowed him to hurt her. Cleo thought Paul’s rage over what had happened, about people saying he was partially to blame, was what had started it all. The first time he’d hit her, she’d made the mistake of telling him she thought it was his fault, too. That her mom would never have been so out of her mind if he hadn’t pushed her over the edge. He had slapped her across the cheek so hard the world flashed a blinding white. She knew what people meant when they said they saw stars. Only, that wasn’t it at all. It was like an explosion of white-hot pain.

  The time she’d told Reece she fell into the coffee table, of course it was lie. But she did hit the coffee table. Paul shoved her so hard she went flying into it. The contact with him would not have left a mark. But hitting the table had left her face a mess. She’d ended up with a bruised cheek and a split lip. She didn’t know if that had been his intent. Or if pushing her into the table had been an accident. Not that it mattered either way, the result was obviously still the same.

  Emma pulled a hand through her hair and tried to tuck it behind her ear. She still wasn’t used to her short pixie cut and her hair fell right back into place. “How often?” she demanded to know.

  Cleo shrugged. “Five or six times.” It had been six. It was impossible not to keep track.

  “And Luci?” she asked.

  “He’s never hurt her,” Cleo said defensively. She didn’t want Emma to think that she’d allow anything to happen to her sister. She didn’t want to admit to Emma that last night, he’d come close. And that was the reason she was talking to her at all.

  “So it’s just you.” She said flatly. “That does not make it okay.”

  “I never said it was okay. It’s just…” she shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

  Emma looked affronted. “How about you start with telling someone! Me, my mom, Reece, Mrs. Gaines. You liked her, didn’t you?” she asked of the school counselor. “Or better yet, how about the police!?”

  “And then what?” Cleo asked with raised eyebrows. “What would they do with him?”

  Emma looked at her in disbelief. “I don’t know. Maybe he’d go to jail. Or prison. Or wherever it is they send people like him. Because what he did, isn’t that assault or something? And why the hell do you care what would happen to him?” She stared at Cleo for a minute and then it all fell into place for her. “Oh,” she said as she closed her eyes and her shoulders slumped. When her eyes flew back open Cleo saw the first flicker of understanding. “If Paul gets sent away, you and Luci would have nowhere to go.”

  “Right.” It always, always came back to that.

  “You could stay here. You heard my mom. You’re welcome anytime,” Emma pointed out.

  “Staying a few nights and the two of us moving in indefinitely? That is nowhere near the same thing. And even if your mom didn’t care, it’s not that simple. I’m sure there would be a social worker involved and I don’t even know what else. I know it’s way too much to ask of your family. And I couldn’t be sure Luci and I wouldn’t be separated,” she explained. “And even now? I’m legally an adult but what would happen to her?”

  “I don’t know,” Emma said quietly as she shook her head. “But maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Maybe if Luci was with foster parents, they’d let you see her all the time. You’re too young to have to take care of her like you do. Maybe it would be better for both of you.”

  Cleo stared at her in silence, stunned by what she had said. “I’ve been taking care of her for years,” she finally reminded her. “Why would I ever be willing to give her up now? I’ve lost my mom. I almost lost Reece and when he finds out the truth, I still might. I can’t lose Luci. I just can’t.”

  “Cleo,” Emma said and her tears came out of nowhere. Suddenly they were trekking down her cheeks, “I’m sorry about your mom. But you haven’t lost Reece. And you aren’t going to lose Luci. But I can’t do this. I can’t let this happen and just sit back and not say anything. My mom will help you. We both know she will. Between this and what’s going on with Reece, I just can’t keep up with the secrets or the lying.”

  Cleo nodded, feeling her own tears burning behind her eyes. She mentally shoved them away. “I know. I never should’ve pulled you into the mess with Reece.” And if she could have kept her from finding out what Paul had done, she would have.

  “Ugh!” Emma said in exasperation. “That’s not what I mean! You’re already keeping too many things from me. What I mean is this is too much! It’s too much for me and it has to be too much for you! You’re exhausted. You never sleep. I can tell how unhappy you are. And all of that was before!” She motioned to her friend’s body. “And now this?! Something has to give, Cleo!”

  She knew Emma was right.

  “Either you tell Reece what his dad did last spring because he deserves to know, or I tell my mom what happened with Paul the other night.” Cleo blinked at her ultimatum. Emma looked apologetic but Cleo knew her well enough to know that she was not going to back down. “One or the other. But you can’t keep carrying all of this wit
h you all of the time. I’m sorry if you hate me for it. But I can’t keep all of these secrets for you.”

  “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you,” Cleo told her. That didn’t mean she liked what she was doing. Even if she did understand it. But she was sure that Emma didn’t understand the repercussions this would have for her. The familiar sting of panic started coursing through her again. She could feel her heart speed up and her breath caught in her throat. “I get why you would want me to do this, but both are going to end up with the same result!” she cried. The tears that she had shoved away earlier were threatening again. “Either way, I’ll lose my sister!”

  “You don’t know that for sure,” Emma told her. She put a reassuring hand on Cleo’s elbow. It brought her no comfort at all. “And whatever happens, it would have to be better than what you’re dealing with now.”

  “You don’t understand,” Cleo told her. And she knew no matter how she tried explaining it to her, she never would. Luci’s small, fragile voice echoed in her mind. Cleo could hear Luci telling her she didn’t want to be alone. Cleo didn’t want to be alone either. She wanted to be with her sister. She had promised her that she would make sure that happened.

  “Are you going to talk to Reece?” Emma pushed. “Or do you want me to talk to my mom?”

  It wasn’t a threat but it suddenly felt like one.

  “Reece,” Cleo said without hesitation. “I’ll talk to Reece.” She knew that after today, she was going to have to anyway. Emma didn’t need to know that she had already made up her mind about that. She had thought agreeing, saying the words out loud, would bring about a sense of dread. That they would drive home that she was about to do something with severe consequences. But the moment they were out of her mouth, all she felt was a sense of relief.

  “Okay,” Emma said with a nod. She looked as relieved as Cleo felt. “Do you promise?”

  “Yes, I promise,” Cleo assured her. She had already planned on talking to him.

  Eventually.

  Emma’s posture changed and Cleo could tell the conversation was about to change as well. “Are you going to come with us tonight?” she wondered. “It’s not as boring as it sounds. You might have fun.”

  Cleo shook her head. “Would you mind if I just stayed here?” she asked. “I could really, really use a nap. Or I could go back to my house. I doubt Paul will be around.” She was so exhausted. She was on the verge of tears. One way or another, things were going to be changing. She wasn’t sure if she should be afraid or relieved. But she hoped maybe she’d be able to deal with whatever came her way after she got some sleep. Because right then, she didn’t have the energy to get up and get a glass of water. Let alone deal with the wrath of her so-called step-father.

  “No,” Emma said firmly. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  Chapter 20

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Reece asked Emma.

  “Yes,” Emma said as she pushed him toward the stairs. “Lauren already called Adam. She was happy to go to the game with him. I’m sorry but I’ve got to get going. I’m already late for dinner and my parents are going to kill me.”

  She’d called Reece less than half an hour ago asking him to come to her house. He’d been home, getting ready to throw some dinner in the microwave before meeting Adam. He’d told her he was supposed to be going to the game with him. She’d told him she’d take care of it. She thought he needed to come over not just tonight but right now. So he and Cleo could talk. What she didn’t tell him was that Cleo didn’t know. And that she was sleeping. And now Emma was running out the door for some family thing and leaving the two of them alone. Which he didn’t mind. He just wasn’t so sure Cleo would be very happy about it.

  When he just stood there, not sure if he should go upstairs or not, she rolled her eyes at him.

  “Seriously, Reece, it’ll be fine. She’s been sleeping for hours. She should wake up pretty soon. I think,” she muttered. “But just go on up. She’s in Ethan’s room. It’s the second door on the left.” Before he could question that, why she’s in Ethan’s room, Emma was talking again. “We should be gone for hours. I’ll call when we’re on our way home. You know, just in case you want to leave or something. Not that you have to. Bye!” And out the door she went.

  So Reece was left standing in Emma’s foyer, alone. With Cleo sleeping upstairs and not aware that he was there. Or that he’d probably be the first thing she saw when she woke up. And she might not like it.

  Screw it, he thought.

  He headed up.

  He had been to the Donovan’s home a few times before, with Cleo. He had never been upstairs, though. He had gone with her a few times when they had picked up Emma. Last year he’d even eaten dinner here for Cleo’s birthday. With Ethan.

  A feeling of wrongness slammed into him. He didn’t like being in his house. He knew Ethan from school and sports. And because of Emma. He had known Ethan and Cleo were friends but that always seemed like that’s all it was. He had never had a problem with it. He’d always thought Ethan was a nice guy.

  Until he didn’t.

  He passed the first door on the left. A girl’s room for sure. It had bright yellow walls and a frilly bed covering. He had no idea if it was Emma’s or Elli’s.

  He reached the second door on the left, just like he was ordered to do. Cleo was curled up in a ball, hugging a pillow. She looked so small, curled up like that. Her hair had fallen over her face.

  The fact that she was in Ethan’s room, in his bed, wasn’t sitting real well with him. The fact that the pillow she was hugging was pink and had a picture of a fat, white cartoon cat with a bow on its head made him feel a little better. He was pretty sure the pillow was Luci’s.

  He could see her iPod on the nightstand. She’d already put the purple and white butterfly cover that he’d given her on it. Next to it was half a glass of water and a white bottle of painkillers. His stomach twisted itself up tight at the sight of those. Knowing that she needed them.

  He decided to go in. He wasn’t going to stand in the hallway all night. Waiting for her to wake up. He edged onto the bed, trying not to think about how ironic this was. Him on Ethan’s bed with Cleo.

  He could smell her sweet, fruity scent right away. As he moved closer, the weight of his body caused the mattress to sink lower. Lower than what her slight weight caused. Almost instantly, he was close enough that she’s slid down into him. Her back was to his chest. He looped an arm around her.

  He didn’t mind that she was sleeping. He was actually glad. She needed it. And as long as she was asleep, she couldn’t tell him to leave. He could just hold her. Which was exactly what he did.

  ***

  Cleo slept for at least another hour. Her warm body was pressed into his the whole time. He could tell the minute she started to wake up. She’d barely moved at all but she started to squirm in her sleep.

  He’d spent part of that time mentally preparing an argument for why he was here. First off and most important, it was because Emma invited him. And it was her house. It sounded better than telling her he was there because he wanted to be.

  Well, not in this house exactly. But with her.

  Sure, she’d let him kiss her a few times over the last few days. But he knew it was obvious as hell that she was hiding something. Holding back something big. And she had to know that he was ready to demand to know what it was. And that’s why he was sure she was not going to be happy to see him.

  She had all sorts of walls up and he was ready to start taking them down.

  So when she started to wake up, he had this argument prepared. All ready to go. She didn’t turn to face him right away, though. She stretched and then let out a little sigh. He didn’t realize he’d started holding her hand until she brought it to her lips and kissed the back of it.

  “I’m not Ethan.” The words shot out of his mouth before he could stop them. For just a minute, he was worried she’d think he was. They were at his house. In his room. On
his bed. The sun was starting to set and the room was becoming pretty gray and gloomy.

  “What?” she asked. She finally rolled over to face him. She blinked at him a few times. She looked like she was still half asleep. She pushed her messed up hair out of her face. He realized she was waiting for him to answer.

  “We’re in his room. I didn’t want you to think—,” he cut himself off when her hand slid around him. It slid up his shirt and rested on his back. Suddenly her body was pressed even more tightly to his than it had been before. It was the first time in the past few weeks that she’d made a move to be closer to him.

  “I knew it was you.”

  “You’re not mad I’m here?” he asked. The argument he’d formulated was ready to be put into action. Camping out on the edge of his tongue. Turned out, he didn’t need it.

  She shook her head. She didn’t seem mad at all. “Did Emma call you?”

  “Yeah.”

  She nodded and closed her eyes again. She still looked sleepy. He was quiet. He wanted to give her a minute to wake up.

  “Are they gone?” she asked when she opened her eyes again. “The Donovans I mean?”

  He nodded. “Emma said she’d call when they were all headed home. To give us a heads up.”

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  “A little after seven.”

  Her eyes flew wide open. She looked instantly awake. “I slept for three hours? I don’t even take naps!”

  “You obviously needed it,” he pointed out.

  She didn’t have anything to say to that.

  “Where’s Luci?” he asked. He should’ve asked Emma. He had meant to but she’d rushed out the door. He’d been wondering ever since.

  “With Jill’s family. They went out of town for the weekend,” Cleo explained.

  “Oh.” He was glad she wasn’t home alone all this time.

  “We have some things to talk about,” she said.

  He couldn’t believe the words actually came from her lips.