Crushed

by Amity Hope

  “Another reason I didn’t tell you…” Cleo started. She hated how her heart was pounding but realized now was the time to get everything out in the open. “Was because a part of me thought maybe it wasn’t a bad thing.”

  “How could it not be a bad thing? You wanted to break up with me?” he demanded.

  “No. Not at all.” She tried to explain to him what she’d explained to Emma. That sometimes she worried that he was only with her because he pitied her, like Mia said. Or because he felt obligated and because Luci had gotten so attached to him. “Sometimes I worried that you only stayed with me for so long because you thought I was too weak to handle it if you left me.” She couldn’t believe she was finally saying those words out loud. The thoughts had plagued her for a very long time. She’d always been too afraid of the answer to ever force them out of her mouth.

  “You can’t be serious!” Reece fumed. He sounded pissed off all over again. “You are the strongest person I know, Cleo. I’ve never thought of you as weak! I mean, yeah, you kind of fell apart for a while, when we met. But you pulled yourself back together. You’ve been through more than anyone I know. Not just when your mom died but before that, too. Always taking care of Luci. And after…you could have used that as an excuse to just check out. But you didn’t. And you’ve had to deal with Paul. And I didn’t even know then what an absolute bastard he is. You’re strong and you’re loyal and you’re fiercely protective of your sister. I mean…yes, I worry about you. All the time. But that’s because you don’t exactly have it easy.” He stopped talking and just looked at her for a second. Maybe letting his words sink in. She wasn’t sure. “I don’t love you because I’m concerned. I’m concerned because I love you! I mean, sometimes I’d get so mad because I felt like you deserved so much more than you had.”

  “I had you,” she reminded him. “You and Luci and that’s all I ever really wanted.”

  He shook his head. “Yeah, and look how that turned out. Just when I started to think maybe things are getting better for you, because you deserve to have something go your way for a change, now I find out about this! And not only is it absolute bullshit, but it’s because of me! You could lose Luci. You could end up with nowhere to live. Paul beat the crap out of you the other night and just because I haven’t said it out loud until now, doesn’t mean that I doubt it for a second.”

  He was on a roll and she just let him talk. She thought he needed to get it all out.

  “Please tell me you don’t think that anymore?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t. Maybe I never did. Maybe I just tried to make myself believe it. To try to make it easier.”

  “Good,” he said as he let out a sigh. He was quiet just a minute before asking, “So, you’ve had a while. You did what Ethan said and you bought some time. Did you find a way around this?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No. I have some money saved away, though. If I have to find somewhere to stay, I think I have enough to pay rent until summer. Until I can work full-time. Or Emma’s insistent I could stay with them. She wanted to talk to her mom about it. I asked her to hold off. I’ll be fine. It’s Luci I’m worried about. If he cuts me out of her life, she’ll be all alone.” And she had promised her she wouldn’t be.

  “The other night…what he did to you…That was because of me, wasn’t it?” he asked. “Because I was stubborn and I came back in and kissed you.”

  “It wasn’t because of you. It was because he’s a horrible person,” she argued. It was true, as far as she was concerned. The other times had not been because of Reece and she was not going to blame him for what happened. That was on Paul and Paul alone.

  “A horrible person who did that because of me,” Reece insisted. He pressed his palms into his eyes as he leaned back into his seat. “Could this be any bigger of a mess?!”

  She didn’t have an answer to that so she just sat there. She felt completely inadequate. After all of the pain she felt she had caused him, she had absolutely nothing to say.

  After another long, miserable silence he finally reached for the key in the ignition.

  “I get that you’re mad at me. You have every right to be,” she told him. “You can take me back to Emma’s.”

  He looked at her for a minute before asking, “Do you want to go back to her house?”

  “I want to do whatever you want me to do. I thought maybe you’d want some time alone. So you can think this over, or whatever. Until you can decide if you can forgive me or not.” She had just realized how presumptuous it had been of her to pack her bag and bring it with. She had done it more or less on autopilot. Out of habit. Sitting there now, she was afraid Reece wasn’t going to want her around just yet.

  He shook his head. “It’s not you I’m mad at,” he finally said. “I mean, I am. Because I can’t believe you kept this from me. But I do see your side of it. You were…you are just protecting Luci. I get that. I know she needs you. Mostly I’m so mad at my dad I can’t even think straight right now.

  “I knew right away that there had to be more to it than you were telling me. But honestly? I had convinced myself you were already seeing Ethan. I’d started to blame the whole thing on him. It was the only thing I could come up with that would explain how fast things turned,” he admitted. “It never even crossed my mind that it had anything to do with my dad. But now, it all makes sense. It’s sick and it’s wrong but it makes sense.”

  Now that he’d had some time to adjust, he didn’t seem as angry. He seemed more shocked than anything.

  “I don’t want to bring you to Emma’s. I just got you back,” he stopped to look at her. “I do have you back, don’t I?”

  “If you still want me,” she managed to say.

  “That’s never been in question,” he told her.

  “So, where do we go from here?” It was the same thing he had asked her just yesterday. Only she hadn’t had an answer for him.

  “I don’t know,” he said. His voice still had an edge to it and Cleo wasn’t sure if his anger was really all directed at his dad. “But we’ll figure it out.”

  ***

  Cleo didn’t say a word the whole way back to Reece’s house. He knew she was afraid he was pissed. And he was. But really, not at her…because he got it. He got why she did what she did. The longer he had to think about it, the more he started to hate his dad. He hated him for putting Cleo through this. She was too young to have had to deal with half the crap she’d had to deal with. And to know that his dad just shoveled another huge pile her way pissed him off more than he could even say.

  He meant it when he told her she’s the strongest person he knew. But she shouldn’t have to be. And she was vulnerable too, which was why her strength impressed him the way it did. She could’ve thrown in the towel, so to speak, years ago. But she didn’t. She just sucked it up. Made the best of whatever crappy hand had been dealt to her.

  And to know that one of the worst hands of all had been dealt to her because of him? To know that she might lose Luci because of him? It was making him hate his dad more by the second.

  Nothing could compare to the blow of losing her mom. But losing her sister would be awfully damn close. And Reece knew that it was because of his dad that it might actually happen.

  By the time they had turned off on his road, he had redirected all of his rage where it belonged. At Landon. Seeing Cleo sitting across from him, her arms folded across her chest, like she was trying to fold herself up, trying to disappear, was making him feel like a complete ass. He had no right to tear into her the way he had. She wouldn’t be in danger of losing Luci if it weren’t because of him. Not that he blamed himself, because he didn’t. Not even close. He knew exactly who was to blame for this.

  But he was feeling like dirt because Cleo had enough to deal with and he just added to it by yelling at her like he had. He was furious about Ethan but Cleo hadn’t said a thing about Mia. Other than to say she didn’t blame him for it. But if she was half as bothered by Mia as he
was by Ethan, then that was one more thing for him to feel like crap about. He knew it bothered her. Even though she didn’t say it, it was pretty clear by the look on her face every time Mia’s name came up.

  So he could add that to the list of things that were making him feel like scum. What his dad and Paul had done made her life miserable. But he was sure he didn’t help things back there. And he was the one that was supposed to be on her side.

  “Do you think your mom knows?” Her voice took him by surprise. It sounded so small. Like she was afraid to ask him. And not because of the answer. But like she was afraid to even talk to him.

  “No,” he told her. “I can guarantee my mom doesn’t know.”

  But she would. Soon enough. There was no way he could let this go. She needed to know. And she was going to be furious. And honestly? He was pretty sure his parents’ marriage was going to be over. Considering how rocky it had been the past few years, he didn’t see how they were going to get past this. Part of him wanted to be glad. He wanted his dad to pay for this. For Landon to be put through part of the hell he had just put him and Cleo through.

  But there was a huge catch to that. It was going to put his mom through hell too. And he didn’t want that at all. He just didn’t think there was any way around it. And it made him feel sick all over again. But that, he realized, he could thank his father for, too.

  Chapter 23

  Cleo could never quite describe the way she felt when she went to Reece’s house. Other than to say she never really felt like she belonged there. The house was beyond beautiful. It was a three story, log-sided house on a small hill with an unbelievable lake view. The inside was full of pine. Pine floors, vaulted pine ceilings, pine two-paneled doors—all from Sheridan Millworks. The carpet was so plush you sunk right into it. Each room was painted in warm, inviting colors. It was so exquisitely decorated that it looked like it should have its own full page spread in a magazine. The fact that she hadn’t been there in forever just made heading there now, feel even more uncomfortable.

  She wasn’t sure what to expect from Reece. His emotions seemed to be all over the place. She was waiting for them to run their course until he could just own whatever it was that he was feeling.

  Reece didn’t get mad often but when he did, it took a lot. And this was more than ‘a lot’. Usually he would just blow up and then let whatever set him off blow over. Cleo didn’t think there was a chance of this simply blowing over. They both knew it was not just going to go away.

  By the time they got to his house, it was dark. The night sky sparkled with stars and the temperature had dropped the way it does in September. They parked and then he grabbed her bag from the backseat. Before they even got to the front door, he stopped her and just put his arms around her. For a minute he didn’t say anything and she didn’t either. She just rested her head on his chest and put her arms around him too.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I didn’t mean to take any of this out on you.”

  She started to tell him it was okay, that she understood. But he cut her off. She could barely make his features out in the dark. But she could tell his expression had softened.

  “Let me finish. I want you to know I’m not mad at you. I know I said I was and maybe I was right away. But you did the right thing. You were protecting your sister. But there is no way I am going to let my dad control us. If I get mad at you over this, then he’s getting what he wants. But more than that, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t blame you for any of this. So if I made you feel like I did, I’m sorry. Okay?”

  She didn’t have a chance to answer because suddenly he was pulling her into him and kissing her until he took her breath away. Every coherent thought simply evaporated and all she was thinking of, all she was feeling, all she was wanting was him. It was cold out but she no longer noticed. Her whole body suddenly felt like it was coursing with molten lava as her hands moved up to run through his hair and his hands started sliding down her back. When his mouth moved lower and landed on her neck a little moan erupted from her mouth.

  He slowly let her go and moved back so he could look at her. “Well, I guess that’s it then,” he said with a cocky grin.

  “What?”she sounded ridiculously breathless.

  “At least we’re on the same page again,” he said with smirk. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the house. “I hope you’re hungry because I’m starving. I was getting ready to make something to eat when Emma called.”

  She hadn’t been but at the mention of food, she instantly was.

  “You could’ve eaten first,” she told him. “It’s not like I was going anywhere.” She hadn’t been all that surprised to wake up with him there. She had told Emma she would tell him everything. Emma wanted to be sure that she didn’t back out.

  “I didn’t know that,” Reece pointed out. He squeezed her hand before letting it go to get the door open. “I had no idea you were sleeping. Or that you didn’t know I was coming. Emma just told me I needed to get there fast, before she had to leave. So I did.”

  Once inside, Reece started digging around in the fridge. Cleo knew his mom never went out of town without leaving plenty for him to eat. Apparently she didn’t like the idea of him fending for himself. Or maybe she just liked to cook. Either way, Reece always seemed to have a lot to pick from.

  “Seafood lasagna…Or,” he peeled back the lid on the container, “I’m not exactly sure what this is. Something with tortellini? Or I can see what’s in the freezer?” he offered.

  “Anything is fine,” she told him. “Whatever you want.”

  He pulled out a few things from the cupboards. She couldn’t help but look around at the granite countertops and the spotless stainless steel appliances in the immaculate kitchen. Crazy as it sounded; she felt like even the air in this house felt expensive.

  Less than ten minutes later they were downstairs. Steaming hot plates of lasagna and two glasses of root beer placed on the coffee table. She was settled into the huge overstuffed couch. He was digging through his movie collection. She knew what he was going to pick before he found it.

  “The Wedding Singer?” Cleo moaned. “That movie is horrible!”

  “It’s a classic!” he argued. He looked horrified at her protest. “And I think you secretly love this movie!”

  She shrugged.

  She did but only because he loved it so much.

  He put it in. While the screen wasn’t as monstrous as some she’d seen in stores, it was plenty big enough to give them a movie theater feel. He turned off the lights and then dropped down next to her. He was so close there wasn’t a sliver of space between them.

  She had wondered if things would be awkward, after three months apart. But everything was just falling back into place. And maybe, if anything, things just felt better. More intense. She didn’t think she’d ever taken him for granted. But being with him again after being pulled apart just made her feel like she couldn’t get close enough to him.

  They ate and joked about the movie. Then Reece insisted Cleo sit while he carried everything upstairs. He came down with a plate full of apple crisp covered in ice-cream and drenched in caramel sauce for them to share. She realized if she lived in Reece’s house, she might be in danger of never being able to stop eating.

  The whole time, the conversation had remained light. But she knew Reece wouldn’t be able to keep it that way.

  He had received an update from Chelsey. She told him they’d all just had dinner and that their parents had headed back to their hotel room for the night with plans to meet for breakfast. Cleo let out a mental sigh of relief. Even though she knew Reece would be confronting Landon, she didn’t want to face him. She certainly did not want to face him here, in his house, where he’d made it clear he didn’t want her.

  After the text—their assurance that they’d be alone the rest of the night—Reece started in with questions. She didn’t blame him. But she didn’t want to answer him, either. Yet she did. His ques
tions about Paul seemed to have no end.

  “I can’t believe this was happening and I didn’t know,” he said. His brown eyes showed how hurt he was that she hadn’t told him before. They also showed how worried and angry he was now that she had. “How could I not know?”

  “Most of the time, it hasn’t been that bad.” He gave her a look to let her know he disagreed. The fact that it happened at all was bad enough. “And it wasn’t like I was flaunting it,” she admitted as she fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. She was curled up into him, the movie more or less forgotten as it played. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “No more secrets, okay?” he said as he pulled her into an even tighter hug.

  She nodded.

  “Promise me, Cleo. From here on out, no more secrets between us,” he pressed.

  “I promise.”

  “Good. Because I never want to go through this again. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he said quietly.

  “Actually, I do,” she assured him. “If it was even half as much as I missed you. Then, yeah. I do.”

  It was after midnight by the time the second viewing of Reece’s favorite movie ended. She was sandwiched between the cushions on the back of the couch and Reece. For the second time that night she was breathless and lightheaded. Only this time she was ready to do something incredibly unladylike.

  Like peel the clothes right off of his body.

  “We should probably get some sleep,” he said as he rested his forehead against hers. “We have a lot to figure out tomorrow.”

  She didn’t want to sleep. Thanks to her nap, she was wide awake. But she agreed anyway. “Okay,” she said and let him pull her up. She followed him to his bedroom and as he got ready for bed, she started digging through her bag. She had packed in such a hurry she realized she had forgotten a few things.

  “I forgot my pajamas at Emma’s,” she told him. She knew exactly where they were. When she and Luci had gotten up that morning, she’d made the bed. Not something she usually had time for at home. But she didn’t want to be a slob while at the Donavon’s. She’d tucked her pajamas under the pillow, out of the way.