“Then you... You’re falling all over him like he has you under a spell or something, letting him get away with this crap. Where is the Lexi I know? What’s wrong with you? Maybe you should think twice about this guy, because I have, and I don’t trust him. He’s hiding something and I think it’s dangerous. Just watch yourself.” Bree spun on her heel and went up the stairs when she finished yelling at me.
I’m left here with my mouth hanging open. I don’t know what to say. What she said is the truth though if I thought about it.
He doesn’t hang out with other guys his age, he really doesn’t hang out with anyone period, well besides me lately. He did tell me his parents don’t want him hanging out with me, but he paused a lot like he doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. Is he hiding something, not only from me but everyone?
The way he was acting in school today like Bree said; he’s being protective and possessive. When he kissed me in the lobby, it did feel like he was telling everyone ‘she is mine.’ I thought that was just me, but Bree picked up on that too. How strange. The pull I feel to be with him, as he feels with me… I’ve never been able to explain it, but yet again, Bree picked up on it. She’s seen us together, what, a whole three times, and she’s figured all of this out in no time at all. Bree is more perceptive than I give her credit for. Have I really changed that much? I must have, but mom and dad haven’t said anything about me being different. I doubt they would tell me if they noticed, especially when I’m so happy, but Bree just brought me back to reality, bringing these new questions about him into my mind. What do I really know about him? Why don’t other people know much about him? Why doesn’t he hang out with other people his age? What is this strange pull I feel for him? Why do I feel like when he’s not with me, that I’m going to fall apart? This isn’t normal… Is it?
I’ll give it a week to mellow out. This is a new relationship for him too. I remember Mya telling me he’s never officially been with a girl the entire time he’s lived here, which is how long exactly? This brings me back to the realization of how little I really know about Zach. During this week, I’ll try to find out more about him. If he’s not more relaxed by the end of the week, he and I are going to have a talk. Like Bree said, ‘where is the Lexi I know?’ Well, Bree, she will make a comeback if she needs to. That is if I can keep from getting lost in his deep dark eyes. His eyes, I get lost in them every time I look at him, and his smile—Okay, okay one week.
Alone
It’s been a long week so far, and I’m just glad it’s Tuesday. No school. Something about a water line break…
Halloween was yesterday. It was fun. Zach, Bree, Anna, Mya and I went into town and met up with Katrina. Bree went off alone with Anna for a little while and the rest of us walked around and sometimes stopped to get candy. We were carrying shaving cream, which was hilarious. We only went after other creamers, so no innocent bystanders were attacked. We got a lot of people, but we were covered when we got back home. Zach, Mya, and Katrina said it’s a tradition in the town that the seniors go creaming. It was my first time, and I had a ball. Of course, I needed a long hot shower when I got home, but it was worth it.
I got some answers from Zach this week too, about his family and where he’s lived before. Though he acts like he can’t say too much, or is afraid he will say something he shouldn’t. He takes his time answering and tries to avoid any questions about his parents. All I could get out of him about his parents was that his mom has a flower shop in town, and his dad owns a realtor office in Los Angeles. He fly’s there a lot, so he’s not home much. Other than that, he wouldn’t talk about them. He was more willing to talk about himself even though I had to pull a lot of the information out of him by asking more questions. He always gave me a short answer. It’s making me believe he is hiding something, but what could it be? Is it dangerous like Bree said, or am I working myself up, and worrying over nothing?
They lived in New Mexico before his family moved to New York. They lived there until he turned ten and then moved here. He said they moved because his parents wanted a change. I got into the sports subject and he said he’s not really a sports fan, which kind of surprised me because doesn’t just about every guy like sports? He told me he doesn’t like to be told how to perform or have the pressure of doing well put on him. So, he won’t play any sport, but he gave a hard laugh, so it made it harder to believe. I asked him about friends, and he said he’s always more of a loner and didn’t really need friends. It’s hard for him to trust people. The subject of girlfriends came up. He said, “You are the only one that’s captured, my soul.” He bent down to kiss me, abruptly bringing that conversation to an end.
So, what am I going to do now? He’s answered most of my questions, but still elusive about answering them. Then the way he acted this week. His protectiveness is not getting better if anything it’s getting worse. He picks me up for school every morning and drops me off every night. He’s constantly looking around us like he’s waiting for something to come charging out of the woods. He acts like he’s about to pull me out of the way at any moment to protect me from what, I don’t know. I only see the trees. Then these strange comments he’s been making all week, not to go into the woods alone and don’t let any strange people in the house. The weirdest of them all, “Be careful and stay inside at night please?” he made me promise him. So, what am I supposed to do with that? It’s starting to stress me out. He must know something, and I really need to know, but do I want to know?
Zach’s a sweet guy and I have to admit I do love him. It’s not just a schoolyard crush - I also realized that this week. What we have is much stronger. It kills me to be away from him, my body just aches till I see him again. So, what am I supposed to do? I want to be with him, but I think we need a little separation from each other. Just the thought rips my heart out. This is only the beginning of our relationship, so what’s gonna happen a year from now? Is it just gonna get worse? I don’t know what will happen if I tell him I need space, I’ve never seen him angry and honestly, I really don’t want to. I don’t know how he will react. He could probably be terrifying when he’s mad. It’s just a vibe I get from him, but I really need to get to the bottom of this. Maybe I’ll talk to him tonight when he comes over. I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.
Bree keeps looking at me with disgust. She’s hardly talked to me since she told me what she thinks about Zach. She just completely ignores him while he’s around and he tends to do the same to her. They won’t even make eye contact as they just look over each other like the other one isn’t there. They avoid each other like they know what the other is thinking. It’s just weird. I don’t want this to come between my sister and I. She’s my best friend, but what if she’s right about Zach? What will I do if he is dangerous?
I guess I will have to wait to answer that question. A car just pulled in the driveway and it sounds like Zach’s Porsche.
I got off my bed and walked over to my balcony, the cool breeze blew through the open doors causing goose bumps across my skin. I stepped just outside the glass doors and seen Zach. He’s acting weird. He has his hands shoved in his pockets, and his shoulders are slightly hunched forward. He’s looking around intently. It scared me when he suddenly bared his teeth toward the woods… and the sound he made. It amazes me that I could hear him from this distance, but he’s growling at something. It’s the most menacing sound I have ever heard. My heart raced and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I took a step back into my room. I didn’t want him to catch me out here looking at him.
What is wrong with him!? I’m too freaked out to answer the door. He looked dangerous, too dangerous, he looked like he was about to rip something apart if he got his hands on it.
The doorbell rang, and I thought my heart was beating fast before, it just proved me wrong.
“Lexi, Zach’s here,” Mom yelled up.
Mom and dad met him this week. They thought he was a very nice boy. Mom made dinner, and it was nice to si
t around the table with everyone and talk enjoying ourselves.
Dad, like I anticipated, plowed into him with a bunch of questions. He acted the same way when I asked him similar questions… very carefully and thought out. I guess mom and dad didn’t notice his reluctance. Zach asked my parents a lot of questions about their jobs, and I was sure it was a diversion to keep the spotlight off himself. Everything went well. Better than I expected, actually.
My parents approved of him, but Bree… talk about cold.
I heard someone talking downstairs, and then the steps started to creak. Mom must have sent him up.
I felt my face go pale, and my body froze. I was always excited to see him, but after what I just witnessed, I want to hide, to give myself time to think, but it’s too late… he’s in my doorway. I turned slightly to look at him, but before I realized he moved, he instantly had me in his arms without me knowing how I got there.
“Lexi, what’s wrong, are you okay?” He asked concerned while looking around my room, searching for something, and sniffing the air slightly.
Okay, officially freaked!
I can’t speak, so I just nodded my head.
“What’s going on? You look terrified.” His voice started out stressed, then softened. He paused and looked where I had been standing then toward the open glass doors. I can tell something clicked with him in that second as he looked out toward his car. He looked horrified. He knew I saw him.
He let go of me and took a step back, giving me some much-needed space. It’s confusing, I want his embrace, and not, at the same time.
“It’s me, isn’t it? You’re scared of me?” He asked in a calm, controlled voice. I saw pain flicker across his face before he looked away from me.
I continued to look at him with terrified eyes. What could I say? It’s true…
He looked me straight in the eyes and spoke softly full of pain. “It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry you saw that. I just want to tell you that I would never hurt you, Lexi. I swear.” His eyes seemed to tear up the longer he spoke.
When I blinked, he was gone. I wanted to tell him to wait, but what would I say? I turned around and looked out over my balcony. He’s already by his car standing at its door. How is he so fast? He waited for me to look out toward him. He mouthed the words “I’m sorry” and his face showed so much pain it crushed my heart. I could actually see a glimmer of a tear rushing down his smooth skin. He turned, got in his car, and drove away without giving me the chance to say anything. I doubt I could have, but I reached my arm out as if I could touch him, to make him stop. I don’t know what I was going to do if he did come back, but the look on his face broke my heart. It feels like someone just took my heart and trampled it into the floor. When he was out of sight, I moved to my bed and sat down still facing the doors. I put my head in my hands and started to cry.
“Lexi? Lexi, what’s going on?” Mom sounds concerned as she came up the stairs. “Zach left practically running out the door. He looked upset.” She stood in my doorway when she noticed me sitting on the bed with my face in my hands. “Lexi? Oh, honey what’s wrong?” She kneeled on the floor in front of me, putting a hand on my knee. She moved my hair behind my ears so it was out of my face.
What am I gonna tell her? I saw Zach growl toward the woods, and he was acting like he’s going to rip something apart. She would look at me like I’m nuts.
“I… told him I… needed some… space?” I was always a bad liar so my answer came out like a question.
“Why? What’s been going on with you two? You always look happy when he’s around,” she said slightly confused.
“He’s just… being overprotective. It’s kind of… smothering me.” That’s more along the truth.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Everything will work out. You did the right thing, sweetie, don’t worry. He’ll come around.” She stood up and wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back, letting my tears fall onto her shirt.
“Thanks, mom.” If only you knew the truth, I added mentally.
“Now no more crying, so come on. Let’s get some dinner.” She pulled me off the bed and down the stairs to make dinner. She hates to see me cry, so I’m sure she figured a distraction would help.
It’s a late night for me tonight as I’m still up at four in the morning. I’m afraid to go to bed. I don’t want to think about Zach right now, but it’s difficult keeping his pained face out of my head. He had been so hurt, he looked like I grabbed and crushed his heart right out of his chest. But the way he’s been acting scares me. I still love him, irrationally of course. I don’t know what he will do next; I don’t know what he’s capable of. I still don’t know him that well and it’s obvious he’s keeping a secret. I really don’t think I want to know what it is. What is his family hiding? Are they running from something? Why else would they move from New Mexico to New York when his dad has a realtor office in Los Angeles? Wouldn’t they want to move closer to L.A. so he didn’t have to spend money to fly there all the time? Why is Zach acting like he’s about to attack anything that comes out of the woods or for that matter anything that comes near me? I don’t understand. Does he know something I don’t? He would tell me, wouldn’t he? If he would, wouldn’t he have told me by now? There are way too many unanswered questions and I don’t understand anything. It’s giving me a headache.
Lying across my blue satin comforter, I felt exhaustion come over me. The last thing I heard was a pain filled howl in the distance. The pain in its cry broke my heart.
Suddenly, I’m thrown into a pitch-black room, though it wasn’t dark for very long as someone turned on a light. There’s nothing in this space. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all painted black. I turned around and almost collapsed with fear. Someone is standing behind me and I’m now standing eye to eye with them just inches away. They have the same bright sapphire blue eyes that I do. At first, I thought I was standing in front of a mirror, but then the figure moved. I stumbled back a little-terrified being so close to someone I wasn’t expecting or knew. I’ve never seen this woman before. She’s gorgeous. She stood slightly taller than me. Her hair hung to her waist in long waves with mixes of blonde and brown. She wore a long white dress that flowed around her body gracefully and flowed onto the floor behind her. It moved across the floor with every tiny movement she created. Her face is striking and I’m at a loss for words to describe it. It’s perfect and her skin seems to glow.
Her face is mesmerized as she’s looking me over. She looks stunned, almost as stunned as I am, like she wasn’t expecting me to be here. As she focused on my face, she smiled as if she knows who I am, and is happy to see me. She seems like she wants to cry from pure joy, I could see her eyes turn glossy with tears about to spill over. She reached one hand out to my face and I stumbled back, my eyes wide with fear, not sure what she’s about to do.
“It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you, sweetheart.” She reassured me in a voice that sounds like singing. It too, like her appearance is beautiful. “Look at you gorgeous girl, how you have grown.” She placed the palm of her hand on my face, covering my cheek while rubbing her thumb back and forth over my exposed skin. Her skin is soft, smooth and warm. When she touched me, I felt something strange. Something I’m not familiar with, I feel like I belong here, with her, but why? I don’t know her, and why is she here in the first place?
She whispered, “My sweet Sapphyre,” as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Who are you? Why are you here? Where am I?” I asked in a soft confused voice.
She smiled holding back a laugh. She abruptly stopped and a look of horror crossed her face. She looked off to the side, and I felt compelled to look too, but I saw nothing. She whipped her head back toward me and spoke quickly in whispers.
“We don’t have time for that right now. If they find me, they will know where you are and I can’t let that happen. You must be careful sweetheart. There are things out there looking for you and you can’t let them find you. Trust your pr
otector, she will help, and guide you. Your time is coming Sapphyre and when it does, you have to watch out! Trust no one! They come in all forms and if they find you, they will kill you! I will do what I can to help you but you must go, they’re coming! Hurry, GO!” She softly kissed my forehead, and I felt a drop of water trickle down my skin… a tear. She took both her hands and placed them on my shoulders and shoved me back, and I quickly began to fall…
The last words I heard her say before she disappeared was, “I love you.”
I woke up abruptly as I felt like I was falling. Is that why she pushed me, to wake me up? Apparently… but why? What did she mean things will kill me? And who is Sapphyre?
Okay… things are really starting to get way too freaky. Zach is acting like a crazy person. This woman in my dream is warning me things that are out to get me and to trust no one, the other dream with the mirror that I refuse to think about. Then there’s me, things that I keep brushing off as nothing. The way I saw in the dark that night I went out with Zach, not to mention my dream when Zach and I were supposed to be killed. What is going on? I need to find answers fast, but I don’t know how. I need to talk to Zach, I need answers, but I’m scared. I’ve always been a coward my entire life, and it’s time to grow up and suck it up. I need someone to talk to since Bree won’t and Zach is the only one I can trust with this stuff. If I told anyone else… they would look at me like I’ve lost my mind, maybe I have. I want to be with Zach, I love him and I need him. I know Zach loves me and I know he would never hurt me, he didn’t have to tell me, I already knew. I had to be in shock yesterday, okay, I was in shock. How could I let him leave me looking like that? I should have let him explain, to tell me what was going on. I feel miserable and I just want to start crying again. I feel so alone, no one to talk to, not even my own sister. I’m in this bubble alone with no outlet, and so filled with sadness… tears started streaming down my face again.
Burden to Bare Page 7
