I stayed in my room today as school is still canceled. Mom wanted me to come downstairs, but I told her I didn’t feel good. I think she saw through it though. She knows I’m still sulking, and I am, but I’m also thinking of questions to ask Zach tomorrow. I decided it’s time to grow up and deal with things head on. I have quite a list going. There’s more than I realized that I need to ask him. I’d have to get him alone, and that is going to be a challenge. Maybe I could grab him after school or maybe in algebra. He couldn’t escape me then, but we would have to pass notes and he would probably blow off the questions. Lunch would be a bad time, no privacy. Maybe I’ll wait by his car after school. He couldn’t get away from my questions then, well unless he’s really desperate. I’m still scared of what I saw yesterday, but I would fight through the fear. I love Zach, even now being afraid, that has to count for something…
Thursday, we went back to school. There was no Zach. Friday… no, Zach. The weekend came and went, no Zach. Monday came and went, no Zach. He must be really upset, to upset to come to classes. Maybe he’s afraid that I’m still scared of him? Tuesday… again no Zach. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday… No Zach. I asked Mya and Katrina if Zach missed school like this often. They said not usually, only about two years ago he missed about three months of school, but since then, nothing. This is my fault, I know it is. Zach knows he scared me and now he’s staying away from me.
At the end of the second week, my body hurt, yearning for Zach. I didn’t care anymore that Zach scared me. All I want is to be with him no matter what. No matter what he’s hiding, I didn’t care. I just want to feel his strong arms around me, pressing his body against mine. His lips touching mine as he brings the long, dormant, flood of heat back to my cheeks. I need my painkiller; I need my Zach, the one I love, the one who loves me. I won’t be whole again until I have him in my arms. I’m mad because I didn’t have his home phone number. He never gave it to me. Maybe it’s because he’s afraid his parents would know about me. He doesn’t have a cell phone either as he told me he never had a need for one. I didn’t even know where he lived, neither did Katrina nor Mya. So, they’re no help.
I didn’t care what Bree thought of him. She’s been quite happy these past two weeks with the Zach free atmosphere. I didn’t care what that dream told me, it meant nothing right now. I want Zach, and I will find him…
Friends
It’s already Saturday afternoon and Katrina will be here soon. I have plans to go shopping in Henrietta with her. I originally did not want to go. I am not motivated to do anything since Zach disappeared. I barely even eat and have lost about eight pounds… of course, I told no one that. But mom and Bree told me I need to get out of the house and do something. So, I’m taking their advice. Any other time, I love to go shopping whenever I get the chance. So maybe this will be good for me.
Besides, I think Katrina’s trying to cheer me up too. She’s noticed that I’ve been depressed since Zach disappeared. It’s not like I tried to hide it or anything.
Katrina wants to look for some new clothes and stop for dinner. Katrina’s a really nice person. I have gotten closer to her than I have Mya, maybe because she’s like me and we have a bit more in common. I like Mya too, but I feel like I should watch what I say around her because she’s the gossip queen of the school. I guess I know why she doesn’t really have any friends. I wasn’t going to dump her as a friend. She’s more like a friend I only communicate with at school.
Katrina, I feel like I can tell her anything and she would keep quiet about it. That’s why I agreed for her to pick me up at my place. Besides, I need to talk to someone about Zach. Bree isn’t an option. She hates Zach with a passion as far as I can see. Katrina’s a neutral person, an outsider who could give me her opinion. She’s good at giving advice and sees things others can’t. So, I’m hoping she can help me out. Maybe I have an ulterior motive for going with her, but I just want a good friend I can trust with anything, and I have to start somewhere.
I had a friend back in Arizona that knew my secrets and I could talk to about anything. We grew up together, but when we got older, we drifted apart and went our separate ways at school. We still said hi to each other, but we didn’t really get into any conversations. After that, I never found another friend like her. She liked me for me, not our money. The other friends I had were about the money. So, I decided I wouldn’t put up with it anymore and stopped talking to them. When we moved, I vowed I would keep what we had a secret so I could make true friends, not fake ones. It seems to be working so far.
Mom’s home today, and she is excited to meet one of my friends. She’s happy I’m getting out of the house and getting my mind off Zach. I’m never one to mope around, so it’s easy to tell when I am. Mom doesn’t like to see me upset.
I just finished getting dressed. Just a regular shirt and jeans, nothing special, and I’m leaving my hair down. We’re going up to the ‘city’ as Katrina calls it.
It’s a nice day out again with the sun shining and about sixty degrees. I was expecting snow already, but people around here say it doesn’t usually snow until late December early January sometimes. I’m hoping it holds out as long as possible. I’m not looking forward to the snow. We had it in Arizona and I never really cared for it. I heard it’s scenic here when it covers the hills and trees, but I wasn’t looking forward to the cold weather. It’s cold enough now.
I headed downstairs to the living room to wait for Katrina. Bree and mom are on the couch watching some show I’m not interested in. I sat down next to mom and she put her arm around my shoulders.
“I’m glad you found a new friend,” Mom smiled.
I smiled back and laid my head against her shoulder.
“Yeah, something other than that boy.” Bree is still sour about Zach.
I ignored her.
Mom didn’t let it go. “That’s enough Briana,” she said in her demanding voice.
“Fine,” Bree said as she turned her head back to the television.
Mom let out a sigh; I guess she gave up too. There’s no point in arguing with her, it would just make Bree more annoyed.
A little later the doorbell rang. It must be Katrina.
Bree practically flew off the couch and hurried to the door while she said, “I got it.”
Mom and I looked at her. What’s with Bree?
Bree opened the door, and I tried to see who it was, but she kept the door at an angle so I couldn’t see anyone. I got off the couch and headed for the door. I can hear Bree talking quickly and quietly as I got closer to her. Just when I’m close enough to hear what she’s saying, she shut the door and headed toward me with slight anger in her eyes, which she is trying to hide. There’s only one thing lately that sends her into that look of anger.
“Bree who was that?” I asked. I have a strong suspicion I knew, but I didn’t want to accuse… at least not yet.
“No one important, they were looking for directions.” She’s trying to hide the anger in her voice.
“If it was no one, then why are you mad?” I narrowed my eyes in judgment.
“I’m not mad,” she snapped.
I tried to get around her so I could look out the window, but she blocked my way.
“Move Bree!” I told her, I’m getting angry.
“Fine!” She used the same tone she used with mom.
I moved quickly toward the window, just in time to see the back end of a dark-colored car disappear behind the trees. I recognized that car.
I spun around, angrier than I have ever been and glared at Bree. “That was Zach wasn’t it!?” The venom in my voice is enough to make mom flinch.
“I told you it was no one!” Bree put just as much venom back into her response.
“Tell me the truth!” I bit back.
“That’s enough, both of you!” Mom stepped in before anyone got violent because it’s sure heading that way. “I don’t know what’s gotten into the two of you lately, but you need to knock it off. You two used to
love each other and act like sisters, now you’re acting like enemies. I’m tired of it and you both,” She looked back and forth, emphasizing her point, “need to stop it. Now.”
She used that tone that told us not to dare protest. It’s her final say and if we don’t listen, something is going to happen. Maybe being grounded, or handcuffed to each other until we figured it out. Mom actually did that to us when we were little during a bad fight. She put us in handcuffs and made us stay like that until we learned how to work together. It took us only a day and mom proved her point. Of course, we didn’t know that there was a latch on the side that would let us free.
“Lexi, if that was Zach, I’m sure he will be back, and Bree,” Mom looked at Bree daring her to protest, “will not interfere. Will you Briana?”
Bree still looked angry and I can tell she doesn’t want to answer, but reluctantly she did. “No,” she said as her eyes scrunched with the effort while she looked at me. Her eyes seemed to show some concern, instead of anger.
“Good. Now you two start acting like sisters again or I’m bringing out the handcuffs. Do I make myself clear?” Mom threatened us but smiled.
“Yes, ma’am,” Bree and I said together. I wouldn’t doubt mom bringing out the handcuffs, real ones anyway, and she would probably throw away the key.
It is bad enough she made us sit on the couch close together until Katrina showed up. We sat there looking in different directions then Bree caught me off guard.
“Sorry. I just don’t trust him and… I don’t want to lose my sister,” she grunted through her teeth. I can tell it’s hard for her to say and she never looked at me when she spoke.
“What makes you think you are going to lose me?” I asked with my voice softer.
“Later. Katrina is here. Go have fun.” She got up and walked away without ever looking at me.
The doorbell rang. I didn’t even hear a car in the driveway. How did Bree…
“Coming!” I yelled as I walked to the door.
I opened the door and Katrina stood there with her mouth open, just like Zach. I laughed a little as she looked around inside the door.
“Would you like to come in?” I asked.
She finally closed her mouth and said, “Sure.”
She walked in, her eyes getting bigger as she continued to look around, shocked or surprised. I can’t tell.
Mom came in the room. “Hi, Katrina it’s nice to finally meet you.” Mom smiled.
“Same to you, Mrs. Darson. Your house is lovely,” Katrina said still staring around the house.
“Thank you and please call me Brenda.” Mom smiled again.
Katrina returned the smile.
“We better get going. You said it’s an hour drive, right?” I asked Katrina.
“Sure is. I thought we could start at the Mall if you’re up for it, then a few other stores, then dinner.”
“Sounds fun!” I grinned, though I could do without the Mall. I was never a Mall kind of girl, but I wasn’t going to complain. I’m getting out of the house for a while.
“You girls have fun and drive safely,” Mom said as we walked out the door to Katrina’s car.
“We will,” Katrina and I said together. We started laughing.
Katrina’s car is a Blue Ford Taurus. It’s in great shape, maybe a newer model. It’s a common car around here I noticed. It looks like she takes great care of it as there isn’t a speck of dirt on the floor or any dust on the dash. Hope she didn’t clean it up on my account.
She got on the local highway - 390 north. I haven’t been on this highway much.
Katrina never mentioned anything about our house, so it was nice not being grilled about it. She ignored it like she didn’t care and that’s what I liked about her. I knew I wouldn’t have to say anything about keeping it a secret. I had a feeling she would without saying a word.
“So… where do you wanna eat later?” Katrina asked starting the conversation.
“Umm… I don’t know the area, so I have no idea. Where do you want to go?”
“I know, how about Jimmy’s Diner. They have great food, cheap too,” she laughed.
“Sounds great,” I smiled. “What are you looking for up here, anyway?”
“A bunch of stuff. I need some new clothes and shoes. Maybe do a little Christmas shopping. I always start late for some reason,” she laughed.
“Yeah, I haven’t even thought about it yet. I should get started too,” I chuckled. It felt nice to laugh for once this week.
It was a long ride, but we finally made it to Henrietta. It did look like a city, the outskirts anyway. The buildings weren’t what I expected, they’re kind of short and there are a ton of stores to go shopping in. We went to the Mall first. It wasn’t bad actually, I had fun. We went into almost every store in the Mall except for the pricier places.
There’s also another store we avoided, and it wasn’t because of the prices. There were things in the window that had my face turning red. I couldn’t believe I was seeing this stuff, especially in a mall with little kids walking by. Katrina and I kept walking on to another store that had actual clothes.
She’s not a picky person when it comes to clothes, she doesn’t care who it’s made by. Though I did notice, she only bought and wore long sleeve shirts. Maybe because it’s Fall?
I’m not a picky person either; I’m a Wal-Mart girl. So, I found out we have more and more things in common. I helped her carry some of her bags. When she went shopping, boy did she shop. I had a few things myself. All sale items, regularly fifty-dollar sneakers for fifteen at Payless Shoe Source and a few clothing items, all cheap. I can’t help myself if I see a great deal I just have to buy it even if I don’t need it. I blame my mom.
We were having a lot of fun as we walked around the Mall laughing and acting like… like teenagers. It’s nice to feel free of the stress lately and get my mind off Zach for a while.
I noticed when we went to the food court, to get a drink, this man in a black hoodie kept looking at us. His hood is up, so I couldn’t see his face. He’s also wearing black pants. He’s sitting alone with no food or drink and when I look up, he immediately looks away. Come to think of it, I noticed this guy a few times today throughout the mall. He always seemed to be where we were, always watching. I told Katrina about him and she peeked over, not making it obvious. She said she noticed him too, and that we should get going.
It surprised me when she acted panicked, and in a sudden hurry to leave. Does she know him?
She grabbed my arm pulling me behind her, leaving her drink on the table. She must have known him, but why is she afraid?
We both kept looking over our shoulders, on guard, heading for the car. We didn’t know if he’s some psychopath and I really don’t want to find out.
“Katrina, do you know him?” I asked her.
She’s nervous.
“Hmm?” She mumbled giving a last glance behind her as she got in the car.
“Who is he?” I pressed.
“Umm…” She paused. Right then told me she knew him. “No one you need to worry about. He’s my problem.” She shut up quickly like she said something she shouldn’t.
“Katrina, you can tell me.” I reassured her.
She looked at me a little surprised. “No, it’s okay. He’s just… an old boyfriend?” She sounds like she’s asking me.
“Is he bothering you or something?” I asked. She’s obviously upset about him.
Her quick “No,” is an apparent yes.
“If you ever need to talk ‘K’ I’m here for you. Promise.” I decided to let the situation go. She’s very upset by it, and we should be having fun.
“Did you just call me ‘K’?” She asked a little amused.
“Umm, I guess I did. Hope that’s okay?” I’m concerned I upset her more, and then she laughed.
“Well, I never had a nickname before,” she grinned.
I smiled. “Well then, I’ll start calling you ‘K’, ’kay?”
; We looked at each other and busted out laughing.
“Sounds good to me,” she smiled and looked thrilled.
K, Katrina’s new nickname, drove to a store I never heard of. It’s called Ollie’s. She said it’s a store where we can get cheap stuff if you know where to look. It’s a discount store, really. It’s my kind of store. We were in there for a long time looking around, getting some things then we headed to Michael’s, an art supply store.
“Why did you want to come here?” I asked as she parked the car.
“Oh, I’m out of some paints and I need some new brushes too. I forgot to wash mine out the other day and now they’re ruined.” She laughed and smiled. That’s another thing about her I like, her carefree attitude.
“You like to paint? I didn’t know that.”
“Sure do. It’s quite relaxing and when I’m painting, it’s like I go into a trance and I don’t notice anything else around me. I’m in my own little world. It’s nice when I want to escape. Like reading a book, it takes the person into another world.”
“Wow, maybe I should try it sometime. I would have no idea on how to start or what to even paint.” I hung my head in mock shame and K started to laugh.
“Well since you’ve never done it before, let’s get you the basic supplies and I can show you. I’m not a professional, but I just paint from the heart.”
“Sounds like fun. So, what do I need?”
K turned into a whirlwind around the store. She knew right where everything was. She’s ecstatic. She threw paint brushes at me ranging from tiny to quite large and gave me several canvases and a bunch of paints. I never knew they had that many colors in paint.
Burden to Bare Page 8
