Shoot the Messenger

by Pippa Dacosta

  That’s not glass.

  I gasped, pulled back, and covered my mouth.

  “It’s not your fault,” Kellee said. Somehow, his voice penetrated the noisy denials.

  Tears skipped down my cheeks.

  I couldn’t look but couldn’t look away.

  The dust was… bodies. Thousands. Scattered among the wreckage, frozen and twisted. Adults. Children. So, so many.

  If I had stopped Eledan, if I hadn’t wavered, if I hadn’t let his fae charm undermine everything I knew about them. I should have killed him the first chance I had. My stupid demands—to save Sota—were ridiculous. I knew what he was. I knew what he was capable of.

  This was completely on me.

  “How many?” I whispered.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes.”

  “On Point Juno, maybe…” He wet his lips. “Thirty thousand.”

  Thirty thousand lives.

  Scattered among the stars.

  “In Halow, I don’t think anyone knows the death count for sure,” he went on. “They laid waste to any human civilization nearest the debris zone, firing from planetary orbits. Their warships are…” He drifted off. “This would have happened anyway. He always had Arcon. He was always going to disable the defense net. They have been preparing for centuries. You couldn’t have stopped it—”

  I pressed my trembling hand to the screen, covering at least a hundred bodies in the distance. “Millions of lives?”

  “Yes.”

  Genocide.

  The fae would wipe humans out. We were theirs to do with as they pleased, and they had grown tired of our games. I looked at Kellee, the last of his kind, and saw the barely hidden distress behind his brave attempt to remain detached. He had seen all this before.

  I gently lowered myself into the flight chair. “Where is he?”

  Kellee engaged the shuttle’s engines and turned us away from the wreckage. Juno would forever be a graveyard. “The fae were delighted to have their prince return. And with humanity gift wrapped too. I have no idea where he is. Probably in one of the warships at the front line.”

  Gift. It was. For me.

  “Do you know if he went back to Faerie?” I asked, listening to the hollowness in my voice and wondering if I’d ever be full again.

  “Reports are sketchy. Communications barely function. Some say he’s back in Faerie, some say he hasn’t been seen anywhere and might still be in Halow. I haven’t seen him since you threatened to kill yourself to keep me alive.”

  “I was bluffing.” The words startled me. I didn’t remember thinking them, but there they were, out and real.

  He tensed, hands pausing over the shuttle controls. “It was a good ruse.”

  You left me with him, Marshal. You left me with a monster.

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. These thoughts weren’t helping. I was alive, and I was here, thanks to Kellee. Alive was always better than dead. It wasn’t over. I could still carve out Eledan’s heart.

  “How did you escape?” I asked, opening my eyes.

  He flicked the autopilot on and turned his chair toward me. “He healed me and left me alone somewhere in Arcon’s hundreds of rooms. I cut through the restraints and walked right on out. Nobody tried to stop me.”

  Probably because Eledan had been preoccupied, draining me of magic, and he hadn’t had time to weave new instructions into his puppet-staff.

  I glanced at Kellee’s hands. There was no sign of the claws he had used to cut himself free. He had left me there a second time. “But you came back?”

  Kellee rubbed his jaw and ran the same hand down his neck. I hadn’t seen it before, but now I caught a glimpse of a fresh scar there. Eledan had slashed his throat wide open. He shouldn’t even be here. He should be dead like the millions of others. “After what I saw, after you… tricked him into saving my life…” He bowed his head and took a few moments before looking up. “I couldn’t leave you there.”

  Again. Leave me there again. Leave me to the whims of a fae who fucked with my mind for nine whole months.

  “You took Talen with you?” I asked, shaking the thoughts away. It didn’t matter. None of this mattered. I knew what I had to do now.

  Kellee leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his hands together. “I freed him in exchange for his help in getting you away from Arcon.”

  “Why is he still with you?”

  Kellee looked me in the eye. “He knows who you are. Figured it out the second he saw you. I suspect he wants something from you. Besides, I doubt he has anywhere to go.”

  Talen didn’t know me. He believed he did, just like Kellee believed. “He could go home, to Faerie?”

  “The fae exiled him for rebelling. He won’t—can’t go back to Faerie.”

  “How convenient.”

  Kellee caught the derision in my words and glowered. “Centuries ago, I hunted him down in the debris zone. He was scavenging ancient tek and abandoned ships to stay alive. If he could go home, he would have long before then.”

  There was more to it, something he wasn’t telling me, but we both had secrets and now was not the time to interrogate him. If he wanted to befriend his enemy, that was his mistake. “And you’re not concerned that he might want revenge for the years you kept him imprisoned?”

  “It’s possible.” Kellee leaned back and shifted in the chair, sinking down a few inches. He propped his boots on the flight controls and cast his gaze out of the shuttle screen. “Keeps things interesting.” The marshal smiled. “He’s not a fighter.” He lifted his hand and turned it in the light. His nails sharpened to points and grew out into claws. “He knows I am.”

  I admired the five half-moon-shaped claws, feeling the bite of instinctual fear. The marshal was useful. Eledan had surprised him, like the fae had surprised me, but Kellee had experience fighting the fae. And he had a score to settle.

  I needed Marshal Kellee.

  “You can bind him,” Kellee suggested, raising an eyebrow as though the thought had just occurred to him. He flicked his hand, banishing the claws. “He’s already offered once.”

  Talen had. He had submitted to me the first time we had met but only to get himself out of the cage. “You heard that?”

  “Not much gets by me.” Kellee’s eyes turned shrewd. “He offered to be yours. Agree and he can’t hurt you. Ever.”

  “Maybe,” I mused. Part of me liked the idea. Liked it enough to almost silence the concerns. But why would a fae willingly submit to a saru? They wouldn’t. I’d already had my beliefs turned upside down. I wasn’t sure I could ever trust Talen, even if he was bound to me.

  “He’s useful,” Kellee added, echoing my thoughts. The marshal twisted, angling himself once again toward me. He leaned forward, bringing himself closer. “There are pockets of resistance out there. I’ve contacted a few. Right now, the human population is trying to stay alive, but when the dust settles, they’ll fight back. They’re humans. It’s what they do. We can help.”

  “We?”

  “Me, Talen, and you…”

  Perhaps, once, I may have believed it. But I was a ghost, wasn’t I? “What can I do?”

  Kellee’s stare darkened. “I can’t imagine what he did to you. But I know what you were like before. We only met a few times, but you were something, Kesh. You had a spark. You know the fae and how their system works. You wanted to get your friend back and you wouldn’t have stopped until you found him. You were brave enough to go up against Eledan, even knowing what he was.”

  In the end, my so-called bravery hadn’t mattered. “You have Talen.”

  “He’s fae. The people won’t listen to him.”

  “You look human.”

  “Until they see me fight.”

  “What are you asking of me, Marshal?”

  “I just… I’ve seen the fae ruin worlds. I can’t sit back and watch it happen again. We can do something.” Enthusiasm and hope brightened his green eyes. “Not yet, I kn
ow that. But… will you think on it?”

  I looked into the marshal’s hope-filled gaze and searched inside myself for the spark he’d mentioned, for any sign that I cared enough to help. But all I found was the yawning emptiness that threatened to pull me down and bury me.

  “He took everything,” I said. “He stole it all. My past, my mind, my purpose. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t save people, Kellee. I kill them.”

  The marshal turned his chair to face the screen and lifted his hand, propping his fingers against his temple, half hiding his face. The words hurt him, but whatever hope he had was wasted on me. He closed his eyes and kept them closed for a second or two too long. I had disappointed him, and I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

  Chapter 22

  Get up.”

  I blinked lazily up at the marshal. His grimace spoke volumes.

  I had fallen into the dreams. It was easier there. Nothing made any sense in reality. And it hurt. Everywhere I looked it hurt. Dreams didn’t hurt. Compared to the new world, dreams were old friends that didn’t die, unlike real ones.

  Kellee grabbed my wrist and hauled me off the couch. My knees hit the floor. Pain sparked. “Hey!”

  “Kellee!” Talen’s lashing reprimand startled Kellee and me. The marshal let go and whirled away, sinking his hands through his hair and holding them there. He left the chamber. The slam of the door shook my bones.

  “What did I do?” I asked Talen.

  He turned his attention to the book in his hand and turned a page. “It’s what you didn’t do.”

  When Kellee returned some time later, he wore a loose sweatshirt that was damp enough for the fabric to cling to his chest in places. He tossed a coiled leather whip to the floor. “Pick it up.”

  Who was he to order me? “Why?”

  “Pick it up.”

  I glanced at Talen, but while the fae had stilled, he kept his eyes on the book. I wouldn’t be getting help from him.

  Planting my bare feet on the floor, I eyed the whip and then Kellee. “I don’t want to.”

  Kellee came at me, aggression driving his strides. He snatched the whip off the floor and shoved it against my chest. When he let go, the whip fell into my lap.

  “Come with me.” He glared through me, daring me to defy him.

  “I said, I don’t want to.”

  He pressed his lips together, making them white. “You know what I don’t want to be doing? Babysitting your lazy ass. Now get up!”

  A low warning growl sounded, but it wasn’t Kellee’s. Talen’s eyes blazed over the rim of his book.

  “Shut it, fae,” Kellee snapped.

  “She’s not ready.” Talen set his book down and rose to his feet. I remembered Kellee’s words about the fae not being a fighter, but he looked as though he might give it a try.

  What was going on here?

  Talen stepped forward and Kellee’s entire body stilled. His green eyes hardened, and the man worked his jaw, likely making room for those sharp teeth. Oh no.

  I picked up the whip. “I have it. Okay. I have the damn thing. Now what?”

  “Good.” Kellee turned, ignored Talen’s watchful glare, and left the chamber, leaving the door open.

  “You don’t have to go,” Talen said.

  “What is he asking exactly?”

  Talen swept a hand toward the door, inviting me to follow the marshal. I expected him to follow and spent so much time looking behind me for the fae that I didn’t realize where I was heading until I stood in an open space. Padding cushioned the floors and walls. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know what this room had been used for. Kellee stood at its center. He beckoned me forward. I stopped a few steps from him, not daring to get any closer.

  “Try to strike me with the whip.” He jumped on the balls of his feet and curled his fingers, urging me on. “Come on, Messenger.”

  You’re just the messenger.

  I flinched.

  “Look at me,” he ordered. I did. His damp hair curled a little at its ends, licking at his cheek, jaw, and over his right eye. His lips were tight, revealing the tips of sharp teeth. “Hit me.”

  I dropped the tail end of the whip and tested the weight of the grip in my hand. I’d learned to use a whip with one just like it. I’d stolen it from Dagnu. He had dealt me exactly fifteen lashes when he discovered it in my cell. It had been worth it. With every lash, I knew I had won. Where had Kellee gotten this one? Did he know whips just like it were used on saru?

  I flicked the tail, letting it lick across the dusty padded floor.

  “Wraithmaker,” Kellee growled. There was nothing nice on his face. None of the patience or compassion I’d seen in him. His beast lurked there now.

  I flicked the whip, working its length upward, and snapped it back down with an audible crack. But Kellee had vanished from where he’d stood. I spun, feeling the room tip. This was too much. My footing stumbled, the room whirling.

  Kellee’s warm fingers encircled my wrist and pulled, tilting me upright. But he pushed at the last second, almost toppling me over my own feet. His hand found my lower back and steadied me. I twisted, trying to fix him in my sights so I could at least see him coming, but all I saw was a blur. Another shove and I fell forward with a cry. Then he was there. Right up close. His hand spread over my heart, and his eyes burned into mine.

  The whip fell from my fingers.

  It wasn’t Kellee.

  Eledan smiled.

  A scream surged up my throat. It echoed in my ears and in my head.

  “It’s not real.” Eledan’s lips moved, but the voice was Kellee’s. It didn’t matter. I was already falling. “Fight, Kesh. Look at me. See me.”

  I shook my head, dropped to my knees, and curled into a ball.

  “I told you.” Talen’s smooth voice held all the smug confidence of the fae. Hearing it broke my heart into a thousand pieces, creating countless jagged shards, and I felt the edge of every single one. I felt them burn, each one igniting a spark of fury.

  My fingers closed around the whip.

  “It will take years. We don’t have that long.”

  Years? He knew everything, didn’t he? Knew it all. Like they all did.

  “Dammit, Talen, I don’t need to hear—”

  The whip felt right in my hand. It felt like a part of me, an extension of my will. I snapped it around me and cracked the tail inches from Talen’s face. The fae hissed and hunched low, adopting a fighting stance. Kellee had said Talen didn’t know how to fight. The fae knew how to react, at least.

  I was on my knees, moving automatically, circling and thrashing the whip in a protective barrier. Talen ducked, but I hadn’t been going for his head. The whip snarled around his wrist. I pulled him off balance and flicked the whip around his neck. I would snap that smooth neck of his—

  His elbow jabbed me in the gut. Air whooshed out of me, doubling me over. I fell forward, into him. The fae twisted and threw me onto my back. I hit the floor and the frenzy ended. The whole attack couldn’t have lasted more than two seconds.

  The sound of my hurried breathing grew louder, as did the pounding of my heart. I turned my head a little and saw the two males. Kellee smiled. Talen rubbed at the raw marks around his neck and eyed me warily.

  “It worked,” Kellee said, triumphantly. He slapped Talen on the back hard enough for the fae to flinch. “She just needed to kick the shit out of you, not me.”

  Chapter 23

  Every day, I fought them. And every day I saw less of Eledan. Muscle formed where it had wasted away. I jogged the prison circuit with Talen—who held back for my benefit—and did my best to wrap my whip around Kellee. At first, the pair were careful, afraid I might break. And in the beginning, I did. But as the weeks wore on, the laughter in my head faded.

  My body healed faster than my mind, until I almost looked like Kesh Lasota again. On the inside, I was a mess. I continued to need Kellee’s daily injections to stop me from falling back into a stupor, and
at times, the dreams called to me, whispering in my ear in different voices the way Eledan had. But I had enough control to function. To think. To consider how I might get close to Eledan—close enough to carve him open.

  To distract my thoughts, Kellee brought me disused tek from around the prison. Parts and pieces with which I crafted new comms. We tried them from one end of the prison to the other, through miles of rock. And this time, they worked.

  Slowly, carefully, I became almost whole again.

  “All right, today, I want to try something new,” Kellee was saying as he walked away, bare feet padding across the mats. He raised his hands and pulled his hair back into a stubby ponytail. While he sauntered away, thinking I was still warming up, I figured it would take three long strides to reach him, and if I launched my attack from the right, I might have time to get the whip in before he could fully turn. He always turned to his right. I knew he was fast. Too damn fast to beat in a straight fight. I had to cheat.

  He was still talking when I sprang off my back foot, swung the whip, and veered in from the right. He twisted, right shoulder first, exactly like I knew he would, giving me a few extra microseconds. The whip sailed overhead. Kellee saw and twisted into a crouch, but he kept on going, dropping into a roll I hadn’t expected. The marshal was too low. I tried to adjust, to skip away, but he caught my ankle. I was going down, but I could salvage it. Dropping my shoulder, I fell into the unfolding disaster, corrected the flailing whip, and lashed out. I hit the mats on my back with an oomph.

  The whip cracked. Kellee hissed.