Cold Killjoy (Mistletoe Montana Book 17)

by Esther E. Schmidt

  “Talk later, babe,” I tell her.

  “Okay,” she instantly replies. “Love you,” follows right after. The silence stretching between us lets me know she’s shocked by letting those two words slip from her lips.

  Dammit. How sweet it sounds coming straight from her pure heart…I can’t give her the words back. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Bowie is sitting right next to me. Though, the fucker is staring at me with wide eyes.

  What I feel for this woman I never felt for anyone else. She’s most definitely it for me, even if we’ve been together only a handful of weeks. Hell, I dare to say we’re going to end up married one day soon with her barefoot and pregnant standing in the kitchen while making our Christmas dinner. But as fucked-up as I am, I can’t seem to push those words out of my mouth.

  Instead I tell her in a husky voice, “See you soon, babe,” and disconnect.

  “Dude, seriously? See you soon, babe?” Bowie curses. “Are you serious about this one? Because if so? You blew it just now. She said those two words chicks value more than money, diamonds, puppies, and gold.”

  I don’t reply and ignore him for the rest of the ride home, hoping to fuck he’s wrong about me blowing it. Though my heart squeezes at the thought of Joycelyn thinking I don’t care about her. But calling back and give her the same words in return now loses their strength and believability.

  Hell, not giving her the words makes me realize how it’s those exact feelings I have for her, and only her. I guess I have to show her from here on out, make her feel them, taste them, until I ultimately give her the words. Because I for sure as fuck love that woman.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Christmas Eve

  – JOYCELYN –

  “Need any help?” Cold offers.

  “No, I got this,” I mutter and grab a few more things I need from the refrigerator.

  Cold has been acting differently ever since he came back from his trip out of town a week ago. Correction, he’s been weird ever since I blurted out the words, “Love you.” Which fell from my mouth without thinking. And when they did, I realized I actually do love him.

  But then he didn’t say it back. He replied with, “See you soon, babe.” Yeah, awkward doesn’t really cut it. I’ve been trying to avoid him but to be honest, I’m utterly failing. Not only is this man hard to avoid, he’s even harder to ignore.

  He’s still the grumpy biker, don’t get me wrong, but he’s also thoughtful and do I dare say…sweet, when it comes to me. It’s as if he needs to make up for not giving me the words back.

  A frustrated sigh rips from my chest. Maybe I’m overthinking it because he seems sincere. Maybe he cheated on me when he went out of town. Shit. Where did that thought come from?

  Massive hands slide over my hips and I feel Cold press his body against my back while he buries his head into the crook of my neck. He lets his lips feather over my skin and it makes me shiver.

  “Sorry,” I mutter and slip out of his reach. “I have a few things I still need to do before I head over to the clubhouse.”

  I should have gotten him the hammer with “Honey, I love getting nailed by you,” instead of the leather with silver bracelet I bought him for Christmas. Because that’s something I should have said instead of “Love you.” Ugh. Maybe he infected me with his grumpiness.

  I take a deep breath and push all my thoughts from my head. I’m stressing, that’s probably it. Overthinking for sure, but also the whole Christmas Eve where for the first time in years I’m making a huge dinner for more people than just myself.

  And I’m thankful Cold was open, and do I dare say enthusiastic about my idea about having a nice dinner at the clubhouse on Christmas Eve with all the guys and his father. I braced myself for rejection and was surprised he accepted.

  So, here I am, stressing over everything and nothing while I should just let go of negativity and stop overthinking and just enjoy the moment…like I’ve always done. But I can’t. Because I love him. And I’m confused because it’s too soon, and it’s freaking frustrating.

  “Babe, is everything okay?”

  Sure, see you soon, babe. Ugh. I did mention frustrating, right? I should confront him and tell him exactly how I feel. Hell, maybe he will reply once again with, “See you soon, babe.”

  “Peachy,” I snap.

  The corner of his mouth twitches and his left eyebrow raises. “Something tells me whatever comes next is going to cause a fight. But angry make up sex is hot. So, let’s have at it. What crawled up your ass? The balls of your sexy jingle bells thong?”

  I squeeze the bridge of my nose. I should have bought the hammer with the “Honey, I love getting nailed by you” handle so I could hit him in the head with it.

  “Are we exclusive?” I put my fists on my hips and stare at him while I wait for his answer.

  His forehead furrows. “Where did that come from?”

  “You’re not answering my question,” I fire back.

  He rubs a hand over the back of his neck and releases a frustrated breath. Yeah, I’m really starting to think the hammer was a better idea.

  “Can you just…just…go next door, get your father into the truck and head over to the clubhouse? I have a few things to finish up here and I’ll get the rest of the food in my car and I’ll be there within the hour.” And I spin around to box up the cheesy garlic biscuits.

  Keeping my hands busy is better than letting my mouth and my brain run.

  “The first woman I adored and loved me for who I was had the same joy radiating from her eyes and the spirit of Christmas in her heart. She had kindness for everything she touched and a smile for whomever glanced her way. When she died it left a hole in my heart as well as my father’s. But fuck. Coming back here, finding you in the kitchen with that floss of jingle bells between your ass cheeks…the warm smile and kindness you have and your fucking name even has Joy in it.” His voice breaks and I’m afraid to turn around.

  My throat is clogging up and my eyes are burning with unshed tears.

  “In the same kitchen where the first woman who loved me died is where I found the woman who loves me now. I can’t fucking tell you how you sparked a fire inside me the night you mooned me, because that would sound inappropriate. But it’s the truth because the way my body reacted when we locked eyes made me furious as hell. Knowing you were the next-door neighbor on top of it. You know the background story with her siding with my mom to keep her heart disease a secret from me and my dad. And this might be fucked-up reasons but everything twists and turns with old wounds, grief, unprocessed emotions, and reasons that seem ridiculous. Fuck. My point is…I should have given you the words in return when you gave them to me. Because I damn well love you.”

  “You do?” I manage to croak out.

  He steps forward and cups the side of my face, sliding his thumb gently over my cheek.

  “Yeah, babe. I damn well do. And fuck yes, we’re exclusive, my dick has found his home and no one will ever have what’s mine.”

  “I’m so glad I got you the bracelet,” I murmur and launch myself into his welcoming arms.

  “What was that?” he questions and kisses the top of my head.

  I glance up at him. “I love you.”

  He gives me a hard kiss, tongue swooping in and swirling against mine, allowing tingles to spread through my body.

  Breaking the kiss, he huskily gives me the words in return, “And I fucking love you.”

  “It’s the fucking in between that really makes it touching,” I deadpan.

  His head tips back and laughter rumbles through his body. He tightens his arms around me and lifts me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

  “Don’t ever change,” he whispers and gives me another kiss.

  The timer of the oven breaks us apart.

  I pat his chest. “Later, then you can rip off my jingle bell thong and have your way with me.”

  He braces himself on the counter and adjusts his dick with his othe
r hand. “Woman, don’t say shit like that when we have a whole night ahead of us where we need to entertain other people before we can finally ditch everyone and spend the rest of the night fucking.”

  I shoot him a grin and grab the turkey out of the oven. “Go bring your dad over to the clubhouse, I’ll be right there.”

  “Okay, love,” he murmurs and places a sweet kiss against my lips, smacks my ass and walks out the door.

  I take a moment to stare at the door he just went through and realize my world just shifted back into place. The night before Christmas where hearts fill with love and where magic happens.

  A few weeks ago, I thought I’d have to spend the holiday alone and now I’m surrounded with people I never expected to open their hearts to me. My next-door neighbor where I needed months to finally get a friendly hello from him. Then meeting his grumpy son, falling in love, being embraced by his MC world…it warms my heart and puts a smile on my face.

  I quickly box up the food, pile it in the truck, and jump in the shower. I take my time to blow dry my hair and leave it down while I add minimal makeup. The little, white, puffy tulle dress along with a candy cane red sweater is a combination I’m sure would surprise Cold. The past few weeks I’ve been wearing Christmas sweaters but I’ve been saving this outfit for a special occasion.

  I slide into my red heels and lock up behind me. The ride over to the clubhouse is short and when I pull into the parking lot there are a few bikers in front, immediately jumping into action to carry the boxes into the clubhouse.

  Cold is standing next to the wheelchair his father is sitting in. Just a few more weeks until the casts on both his arm and his leg will come off. He’s been doing really well and when Cold started to bring him with him to the garage he really started to smile more.

  Bowie and Reed give me a hand with arranging all the food. I’ve placed everything on large tables so people can grab a plate and pile up what they like and enjoy their food on the couch, bar, or one of the tables. I feel Cold’s eyes on me the whole time and when I have everything set, I finally stroll over, letting him take me in his arms.

  “Stop feeling her up and ask her already,” Clark grumbles.

  I pull back from Cold’s embrace to stare at Clark. “Ask me what?”

  His eyes twinkle and I have to roll mine, because the first thing that comes to mind is what he mentioned to Cold a few times already.

  “No, Clark. The whole white Christmas in my pussy hasn’t been successful yet,” I tell him in a stern voice.

  “Holy fuck,” Reed snickers as the sip of beer he had in his mouth sprays around him.

  “It’s connected,” Clark says. “But not quite. More like the first step.” He shoots me a wink and confused I direct my attention at Cold.

  “Remember what I told you in your kitchen?” He waits for me to nod. “When you know it’s a done deal, there’s no going back so why not move forward.”

  Otis strolls up and hands Cold something leather and folded. He holds it up in front of him and my fingers touch my lips, preventing me from letting out words. And in all reality, I have no clue what to say.

  Cold is holding a small leather cut with on the back the patch “Property of Killjoy.” He’s mentioned the dynamics of the club. The respect, loyalty, brotherhood, and especially the meaning of being an old lady.

  I quickly spin around allowing him to help me put it on and when I let my fingers slide over the soft leather, I slowly turn and ask, “How does it look?”

  “Fucking perfect,” Cold croaks. “But there’s one tiny thing missing.” He pulls a tiny box from his pocket and takes out a ring. “Might as well do it all in one go.”

  He takes my hand and slides the ring on my finger. Staring down I take in the captivating sparkly ring. Diamonds in an antique rose gold setting are shaped into a beautiful snowflake.

  “It’s the same ring I used to propose to my Ella. She loved Christmas, loved the snow…and loved me. And now, the ring looks beautiful on your finger.” Clark’s voice is thick with emotions and there’s a sheen of tears in his eyes.

  “Thank you,” I croak.

  “Yes, would be the correct reply,” Cold states.

  I roll my eyes. “You didn’t even ask me the question, you just shoved it on.”

  He gives me a proud smirk. “Why ask when I already hold your heart,” the man simply says, and he’s right.

  He already holds my heart as I hold his.

  EPILOGUE

  Christmas Eve, six years later

  – KILLJOY –

  The clubhouse is packed but the sounds of laughter, brotherhood, and friendship flow freely through the air. The California chapter came in late last night to celebrate Christmas, like they’ve done a few times over the years.

  Our kids grow up together, our old ladies most times schedule our get togethers, it’s quite the turn my life made a little over six years ago. Though, this night was a special gathering. Joycelyn and I renewed our vows on our five-year anniversary. After I told her to marry me six years ago, we planned everything for the next year.

  With us, it seems every life changing moment has a Christmas element in it. Engaged one Christmas, married the next, our son being born the year after that. Yeah, I shit you not it’s just meant to be because he wasn’t even supposed to be born for another three weeks.

  Edward will be four tomorrow. Four years and he makes me proud each and every day. Sure, he can be a little shit drawing the blood underneath my fingernails at times, but he enriches our lives along with it.

  Not to mention, my father received a boost of life the day we told him Joycelyn was pregnant. The man smiled more each day and it turned into a blinding one the day he held his grandson in his arms. Those two like spending time together and it’s also where Edward is now; spending the night at grandpa’s house.

  It’s close to midnight and they left about two hours ago. He was up way too early this morning due to all the excitement and played around with all the kids from the other chapter until he finally crashed on the couch against my dad.

  My dad took him home–like he offered to do so beforehand–so I can spend some alone time with my wife. Of course it works out perfectly as we live right next door to one another. Edward has been sneaking out of the house to get to his grandfather as soon as he could walk.

  Family is priceless. And when I glance around the clubhouse taking in all the faces, all smiles and having a good time, it’s then I realize life sure doesn’t get better than this. Except maybe in a few minutes when I’m balls deep inside my woman.

  Speaking of the little temptress, she catches my eye as she comes strolling toward me. Her hair is pinned on the top of her head, some tendrils escaped and are caging her face. Pouty, kissable lips turn into a sexy smile when she reaches me. Her hand slides over my chest to the back of my neck, pulling me down for a kiss I eagerly give her.

  “Ready to head out?” she murmurs against my mouth.

  I grab her ass and hoist her up, letting her legs circle my waist. “More than ready,” I reply. “But we have to deal with something before we leave first.”

  I start to carry her in the direction of my office when the catcalls flow through the air. Walking to the door I flip them all off and lock the door behind me. My desk is empty–always is–since the first time I fucked her on it and had to shove everything off.

  Hell of a job cleaning up the coffee cup, scattered papers, glass of the picture frame, and the laptop which broke on impact. Yeah, once but never again. Hence me having a clear desk to take my woman whenever the need strikes.

  Like now. The dark wood supports her ass while I free up my hands to slide up the red, flowy skirt she decided to wear today. She grabs the hem of her tight sweater and pulls it over her head, showing off the red, lace bra complimenting her lush tits. Magnificent.

  My eyes slide to her slick pussy covered with a tiny scrape of lace and I damn well recognize the string parting her ass cheeks. My fingers wrap around the fab
ric and how I’d love to rip it off her, I choose to keep the reminder intact and slowly slide it off.

  I bring the jingle bell thong to my nose and inhale her sweet scent, watching her eyes dilate as her teeth sink down in her bottom lip. Fuck. This woman is gorgeous. And after more than a decade she still gets me as hard as the very first day I saw her ass.

  Shoving the scrap of fabric into my pocket, I lean forward and throw her legs over my shoulders, shoving my face into her pussy the next instant. I know this is going to be hard and fast and that’s exactly why I need to get her off with my tongue first before I bury my cock into her tight pussy and explode deep inside her with her taste on my tongue.

  Her hands fly to my head, guiding my tongue where she needs it as she grinds her hips. I leave her in control for a few breaths because I know she needs it. But soon enough I pull back and relish in the annoying look she throws me. I tasted how close she was and I’m not ready for her to tip over just yet.

  I slide two fingers inside her greedy pussy and slowly pump them in and out. She moans and the way she’s splayed out in front of me almost makes me combust. Shit. I need to focus. Coming inside her is the plan since we hope to get pregnant again and I won’t waste my cum; it needs to coat the inside of her womb while her pussy ripples around me.

  “Hands above your head. Grip the desk and don’t let go, understood?” I growl and I swear she strangles my fingers in a way it almost cuts off my blood supply. A groan rumbles through my chest. Damn. I need to feel her clench around my dick fast.

  Freeing my dick, I palm myself and line up against her tight heat. There is no going slow when you’re about to hit ultimate pleasure. No matter how many times I’ve buried myself inside her, it gets better every damn time.

  Thrusting up, my piercing hits her deep and she curls her spine to let out a scream of pleasure. Her legs are once again thrown over my shoulders and I grip her hips to keep her in place; like I said, this is going to be hard and fast.

  Leaning forward I make sure to give extra friction to her clit with each thrust and when the woman starts to clench and moan, postponing is a wasted effort. Her orgasm affects my own as I bury myself to the hilt inside her. Cock pulsing, balls fucking jingling, mind shattering as I spill myself deep inside her.