Judged (The Mercenary Series Book 4)

by Marissa Farrar

  I looked into her face. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  I pulled her into a hug. “And you are brave,” I said. “Just coming here was brave.”

  She nodded against me.

  Something occurred to me, and I let Nickie go. “You know we don’t even know that he left voluntarily. Our father has plenty of enemies. Maybe someone simply got here before we did.”

  She blinked at me. “What are you saying?”

  “That maybe he didn’t leave on his own accord. Perhaps someone came and took him.”

  “You think that’s possible?”

  “As possible as him, with some kind of brain injury, getting up and leaving by himself, yes. We might be worrying for nothing. For all we know, some longtime rival heard he was in hospital up here, and came up and took care of him for us. His body could be floating down the Hudson River right now, for all we know.”

  Nickie gave a shudder of revulsion at my description.

  “That doesn’t mean we should let our guard down though, okay?”

  She nodded in agreement. “Okay.”

  We drove back to New York City. The whole drive home, I wondered if we’d find Mickey Five Fingers waiting on the doorstep when we got there.

  Chapter Seventeen

  V

  We returned to the house without further event.

  Though cautious our father might have made it home before us, we discovered the house locked up exactly as we’d left it. It was late, and I took extra care making sure every door and window was shut and bolted, and the security system was on. I’d already changed the codes for everything once I’d realized Dylan had been able to get onto the property, so our father wouldn’t be able to either.

  “Vee?” said Nicole, looking at me with worry in her eyes.

  I lifted a hand. “I can’t right now, Nickie. I need to sleep.”

  “He can’t get in here, though, can he?”

  “No, we’re safe. Get some sleep, if you can.”

  I knew Nicole wanted to talk, but I didn’t have any answers for her.

  Summoning up enough energy to walk up the stairs, I left my sister to shut myself in my room for the night. I needed to rest, even though my mind was tumbling over and over with endless thoughts.

  In bed, I sank into an agitated sleep. I couldn’t get my brain to switch off, my legs twitching with restlessness. Now unable to sleep on my stomach or back due to my size, I shifted from one side to the other, stuffing a pillow between my knees to try to get comfortable. I could feel the baby moving inside me, too, perhaps kept awake by the stress hormones I felt sure my body was producing. I hoped none of this was going to adversely affect the baby. I’d read stress could lead to low birth weight or premature labor. I didn’t want that, but I couldn’t see a way to extricate myself from this situation.

  My dreams were filled with my father again, unsurprisingly. I dreamed of him standing over my bed, clutching a massive head wound, while blood poured between his fingertips. “Why did you do it?” he cried at me. “I’ve only ever tried to be your father.” His words confused me, the truth insubstantial, wisps of cloud I kept trying to snatch out only for them to disperse beneath him fingertips. Was he right? Had he been a good parent? In my sleep, I tried to work out which was the reality and which the dream. Had all the bad things he’d done really been the dream? Was he actually a good dad and I’d hurt him anyway?

  ***

  I woke the next morning more exhausted than when I’d gone to bed. I was also ravenous, having not eaten properly the night before. Nicole and I had stopped at a fast food place on the way home, but neither of us had had much of an appetite, and only picked at our meals.

  But I needed to eat, if not for me, then for the baby. If I was hungry, the baby was hungry.

  I pulled on my robe and headed downstairs. I saw no sign of Nicole. I assumed she was still sleeping after our emotional day yesterday. I quickly checked my cell phone for any news, hoping the hospital might have called to say they’d found our father, but the screen was blank. Paranoid, I checked all the doors and windows, peering out of them to the surrounding grounds. Everything looked exactly as it had the previous day. I exhaled a slow breath, trying to keep my nerves together.

  Would he come here?

  With a surge of panic, I realized I wasn’t armed. I’d slept with a gun beneath my pillow, but hadn’t thought to bring it down with me. Racing back upstairs, I located the weapon. I had nowhere to keep it in only my underwear and robe, so I dressed, pulling on the stretchy maternity jeans that also happened to be perfect for holding a gun in the waistband. I vowed to walk through the house at some point today and leave a weapon within easy reach in each room. We didn’t have any children living here yet, so I didn’t need to worry about someone little getting hold of the guns and shooting themselves. The only people reaching for a weapon in this house would be me or Nicole, and if we did, it would be to shoot to kill.

  Feeling safer now I had my trusty Glock on me, I went back downstairs. I’d forgotten my hunger in my paranoia, but it was back raging at me like an unsatisfied beast. I put coffee on, and set about making pancakes. I hoped my body’s desire for carbs was going to quit after the baby was born, or I would end up the size of a whale.

  Movement came behind me, making me jump. Automatically, I reached for my gun, but I spun to see Nicole walking into the kitchen, her hair mussed up on one side, and rubbing her eyes. She reminded me of the little girl I’d watched grow up, the little three-year-old who’d always looked up to me, her eight-year-old big sister, at the time, as someone she copied and admired.

  She caught me watching her and frowned. “What?”

  I smiled. “Nothing. I was remembering when you were small and you used to come downstairs looking exactly the same as you do now.”

  She snorted. “Thanks.”

  “It’s funny to think there will be another little person running around here in a few months.”

  Her lips twisted. “You think we’ll still be here then?”

  I shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. I’d hoped we’d be long gone, but the time keeps slipping by.”

  “Well, it’ll be a while before he or she is running around anywhere. How long does it take for a baby to start to walk, anyway?”

  I laughed. “A year, I think. You were late to walk—almost eighteen months. You were such a fat, lazy little thing. I think you knew you could get away with asking me to get you whatever you wanted and I’d do it.”

  “Nothing much changes, then,” she said with a grin. She nodded at the bowl where I was beating pancake mix. “You’re making breakfast, and I can smell coffee.”

  “Yeah, it’s just brewing. You want me to get you a cup?”

  “Nah, sit down. I’ll do it. I can make pancakes, too, you know.”

  Gratefully, I handed breakfast duties over to my sister and sat down at the breakfast bar. I was feeling heavier now, and my legs grew tired quickly from the extra weight I carried. I checked my phone again. I told myself no news was good news, but not knowing where my father was ate at me. Up until a couple of days ago, I’d believed him to be dead, but it seemed he was a hard man to kill. I guessed it must run in the blood.

  Nicole finished making pancakes and we sat opposite each other, drinking our coffee and eating. Caffeine probably wasn’t great for me, but after my restless night, I needed it.

  With my stomach full, I felt better.

  “Are you armed?” I asked Nickie.

  She sat up. “No. Should I be?”

  “I think we need to be prepared. We don’t know that Dad is going to come here, but I want us to be prepared if he does.”

  “I never thought we’d have to arm ourselves in our own home.”

  “Why not? Dad did all the time, remember? He rarely went anywhere without a gun.”

  She nodded, recalling her memories. “It all seemed so normal when we were kids, didn’t it? I never thought to question what was really going
on.”

  “Why would you? We were children. I didn’t even think about it until I was in my teens. But even then, what he did didn’t bother me. I guess I thought as long as the money came in and life carried on as normal, I didn’t care. But then I found out about Mom …”

  Nicole leaned forward. “How did you find out? About the affair, I mean?”

  I rubbed my hands over my face, unsure if I wanted to drag myself through the emotion of it all again, but if something happened to me, Nicole had the right to know. Besides, it was the first time she’d shown any interest in my side of the story.

  “I walked in on them in the kitchen—Mom and the other guy, I mean. He’d been here to meet with Dad about something, but Dad had been called out. I guess he must have been told to wait until Dad came back. I found them kissing in the kitchen.” I nodded to a spot beside the Belfast sink. “Right there. He had pushed her up onto the counter, and she had her legs wrapped around his hips. There was no mistaking what was going on.”

  Nicole stared at me with wide eyes. “Shit.”

  “Yeah. I literally felt sick, like someone had punched me in the stomach. Mom noticed me and they broke apart right away, but the damage was already done. She begged me not to say anything, said he would kill her, and she’d been right. But he found out anyway, and learned I knew as well. I assume the guy told him I knew before he died.”

  “I’m so sorry, Vee, for all you went through. I can’t imagine shouldering all that on my own.”

  I shook my head. “It’s okay. We need to look forward now.” I touched my stomach. “We have a future and we need to focus on that.” I sighed and got to my feet. “And speaking of futures, I need to go and see X. He deserves to know what’s going on.”

  Nicole chewed her lower lip. “Do you think he’s got any idea?”

  “About our father, no. But he must know about Leon Millen and his gang. He warned me someone inside would recognize me and use it against us. He told me not to visit, but I brushed off his concerns. I should have listened.”

  “But if he told you not to visit, don’t you think it would be safer to stay away?”

  “The damage is done now. Anyway, I need to see him. It’s already been too long.”

  She glanced down at her hands. “Okay, just be careful.”

  I was lucky X got extra visiting hours because he was remanded. I couldn’t imagine having to wait a month or more before being able to see him again. I wished I was going with better news. Nerves jangled inside me in case he’d been hurt again, but none of my fears would keep me away. He was like a tonic to my soul. I felt better just by having him there, and right now I needed a little soothing.

  Chapter Eighteen

  X

  “You gotta visitor, Mason.”

  I sat up at my name, dropping the book I was reading onto the floor beside me.

  Hearing I had a visitor filled me with a strange combination of joy and despair. I knew who it was, and while I was desperate to see her, I was also dreading what she was going to tell me. I was under no illusions that it would be concerning the Blood Legion. I prayed they hadn’t hurt her in any way. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it if they’d put their hands on her.

  I approached the visitors’ room with my heart in my throat. I was a grown man. Seeing the woman I loved shouldn’t make me so nervous, but I couldn’t help myself.

  I spotted her immediately, sitting at one of the small tables. Her face brightened and she lifted a hand to wave at me, and then got to her feet.

  “Fuck, Vee,” was all I managed before I wrapped her in my arms.

  Seeing her again made me long for her like nothing I’d ever experienced in my life. The weeks had passed, and even though she wore a loose shirt, I could see the change in her shape, a roundness to her figure and face she’d never had before. She looked healthy and glowing, the total opposite to everything between these walls. Her being in here felt like an abomination to nature.

  I held her so tight I thought I might crush her, and forced myself to loosen my hold. I kissed her hard, taking in the softness of her mouth, my fingers looping through the silky, soft strands of her hair. The very real possibility that I wouldn’t be out in time to see the baby born hit me. It would break my heart. A moment that would be lost and I’d never have the chance to get back again. Missing the birth of our first child.

  “I missed you,” she said, as I pressed my forehead to hers.

  “I missed you, too.”

  A shout came from the C.O., “That’s enough, you two.”

  We reluctantly broke apart and took our seats at opposite sides of the table. We kept our voices low as we talked, not wanting any of the other inmates to overhear us. I didn’t want to give them any more fuel for the fire.

  “How’s everything going?” I lifted my eyebrows and nodded down to her bump.

  “I can feel the baby moving now,” she said with a smile, putting her hand to her belly and then moving it away again just as quickly.

  “I wish I could feel it, too,” I said, wanting more than anything to lay my head on her belly and feel our baby move beneath her skin, maybe even hear the second heartbeat, running faster alongside Vee’s. “You’ve been keeping to the prenatal appointments.”

  She nodded. “Yes, and everything’s fine. You don’t need to worry about the baby.”

  “I need to worry about other stuff, though, am I right? They told me you’ve been threatened out on the street. Don’t listen to them, Vee. Don’t let them blackmail you.”

  Her dark gaze fixed on mine, serious and intense. “They said they’ll hurt you if I don’t give them what they want.”

  My jaw tightened. “So, let them try to hurt me. You know I can take care of myself. “

  “It’s different in here, X. You know it is. There’s nowhere you can go, and there’s too many of them. You could end up dead, and I can’t allow that to happen.”

  “What have they asked for in return?”

  “Just some business. I have one of my father’s guys handling it.”

  I frowned. “You do? Which one?”

  “You never met him. His name’s Dylan Ferrera. I’ve known him for years. He’s getting kind of suspicious about where my father is, but I’ve managed to string him along so far.” She paused and pressed her lips together. I had a sudden feeling she was about to tell me something bad, like the ground had been shifted out from under me.

  “What?” I asked her. “What is it?”

  “My father is still alive somewhere.”

  My eyes widened. “How do you know this?”

  “The detective who was in charge of his case came to see me. He was brought into a hospital upstate. A woman found him in the forest, I assume not long after we … did what we did. She’d been nursing him, but it sounded like she hadn’t let him go when he needed to get professional medical care. He finally escaped and was picked up and brought to the hospital.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Yeah.” She took a breath. “Anyway, Nickie and I went to the hospital. I figured we needed to finish the job while we still could.”

  “Ah, shit. Vee, I’m so sorry.”

  She lifted her hand to tell me to be quiet so she could finish.

  “But when we got to the hospital, he was already gone.”

  “Where?”

  “I don’t know. He hasn’t made an appearance back at the house, though. The doctors think he may have suffered neurological damage in the ‘accident.’” She lifted two fingers to do air quotes over the word. We both knew it was no accident. “The police are keeping an eye out for him.”

  “You need to get away from the house.”

  “No, I don’t. That will be the first place he will come if his mind is working right, and I want to be there when he does. I want this whole thing to be over, and it won’t be until I know he’s dead.”

  “What about the men who work for him? How are they reacting to all of this?”

  “I haven’t told th
em anything yet. Unless he finds a way to contact them, there’s no reason for them to find out. In the meantime, they’re working well with me. We have the new threat of the Blood Legion, and we’re dealing with it together.”

  “And what happens if your father turns up?”

  Her face took on a hard look, like granite. “Then I kill him.”

  “Shit, Vee. Be careful.”

  This wasn’t what a pregnant woman should be doing. She should be relaxing and taking care of herself, eating the right food and going to gentle exercise classes.

  “Listen to me,” she said. “As well as dealing with the Blood Legion, I’ve got Dylan trying to track down the cleaner he thinks my father might have used to get rid of Harvey’s body. There are blood splatters at the scene, but not enough to prove he was killed there. Dylan has confirmed my dad took the body from Tony Mancini’s place—they obviously hadn’t had time to get rid of the bodies after you got me out of there, and perhaps my dad recognized him. I don’t know, but if we can find this cleaner, we can find Harvey’s body, and then we can prove he wasn’t killed by you running him down and then hiding the body.”

  “What if the cleaner destroyed the body? He might have cut him up or dissolved him in acid, or hell, fed him to pigs.”

  “Then we’ll have to think again.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Vee.”

  “What for?”

  “Doing all of this.”

  She reached out and took my hand, even though we weren’t supposed to have extra contact between the greeting and farewell. “X, my dad put you behind bars. Plus, I love you, and I’m having your baby. It’s not as though I’m just going to forget about you in here.”

  “You’d find someone else to love, in time.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. And anyway, falling in love is the easy part. It’s everything that comes after that matters.”