Perfectly Imperfect Mine

by Amelia Shea

  The trailer was the same as she’d left it. She cleaned up a few things before taking a shower. Her shower was tiny but the water was hot and she took a long one. Sadie would love to have a tub to soak in. When she was little she would look through old magazines and put together in my head what her house would look like. In her mind, the most beautiful room was her bathroom. It would have a gray tile backsplash with a gigantic Jacuzzi tub and a picture window so she could look out and see the woods.

  Showered, dressed, and ready to start her day she caught up on laundry. Sadie separated it and planned to go to the Laundromat later. She ran out to the store to pick up some chicken to make enchiladas. She was hoping Stone would call soon. She wanted to invite him over for dinner. She had never cooked for anyone except Tyler but that didn’t work out as planned. Sadie spent the rest of the day doing errands. By the time seven rolled around, the laundry was done, her trailer was clean, and the chicken enchiladas were in the oven.

  She still hadn’t heard from Stone after leaving his house at eight that morning. She thought about sending him a text earlier but she didn’t. From everything she learned about men from her mom, they hated clingy woman. They hated having to answer for their whereabouts. Apparently, she was the only one of them that learned that lesson. Tyler had called her a nag and stormed off the first time she had questioned where he had been. She didn’t ask again after that.

  Once the dinner was done, she let it cool on the stove while she read. Her mind kept wandering. She couldn’t concentrate. The clock read eight forty-five. That was when she began a staring contest with the phone. She could text him. She should text him.

  She was now one of those women she hated. Sadie was waiting around on a Saturday night for her guy to call her. Her guy? Is he even mine? Oh God! Could he be out with someone else right now?

  Her heart was racing fast. Sadie had worked herself up into a tizzy. She picked up her book again and read another page. As she flipped to the next she realized she had no idea what she just read. Sadie threw the book on the couch next to her. Don’t do it, Sadie!

  The next half hour was a blur. It was as if she was watching someone else. She knew this wasn’t going to turn out well. It was deja vu all over again. She packed up the chicken enchiladas, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door. Sadie always thought it was silly when someone said “the voice inside their head told them to do it.” Not anymore. Her own little voice demanded she go to Stone’s. If they were together then it shouldn’t be a big deal for her to stop by. All the while, she knew she should turn around. Sadie kept chanting in her head, turn around.

  As she pulled to the gates and entered the code, her mind changed and she knew this was a mistake. Once in the parking lot, she decided to turn around. She needed to just turn around and go home. But she slammed on her brakes when she saw a gray pick-up. He was home!

  Sadie pulled into an open spot. She gathered the food, got out, and marched straight into the complex. If she thought too much, she’d turn around. Sadie continued up the stairs and stood in front of his door. She raised her hand to knock but stopped. What was she doing? She couldn’t do this, it wasn’t her. She was standing at the door of the man she thought was her boyfriend, about to barge in on him. She wasn’t here because she just wanted to be sweet and make him dinner. She was here to chase him down. She was here to check up on him. It hit her like a punch to the stomach. This was what her mom would do.

  Sadie lifted her face toward the ceiling and closed her eyes. So many years vowing never to be like her and here she was. Sadie was doing the very thing she would have done. Clarity set in. Sadie was not her and she was leaving. Sadie turned to leave when a faint male voice came from Stone’s apartment.

  “Get your ass back here; I’m not done with you.” The voice was playful but demanding.

  A woman’s giggle followed. “Lover, I need a drink.”

  There were moments when even the sanest people lose all sanity. Something happened and the person just snapped. It was almost like an out of body experience. It was like watching yourself in a movie. But it wasn’t TV, it was real and it really happened. This was Sadie’s.

  Her hand gripped the door and slowly opened it. Her eyes scanned the room and landed in the kitchen on a topless, ridiculously large breasted blonde at the sink. Her blonde hair was in disarray, better known as “sex hair,” and she was drinking a glass of water. Her heart beat faster and her hand clenched around the glass enchilada dish. Sadie knew this girl, Krista, the one from the diner who was with Stone. And now she was here with him. Motherfucker!

  Sadie watched as she put her glass in the sink and turned toward the hallway. She swung toward Sadie and looked surprised. She was now in full view and completely naked. Of course, he would be with her. She had a perfect body, absolutely, perfectly plastic. Sadie looked to her face and she appeared slightly shocked. She could just imagine what Krista must see on her face. Pure unadulterated anger coursed through Sadie, she couldn’t even contain it.

  Sadie walked to the couch and Krista took a step to the hallway. Sadie glared at her. Krista’s face changed at her anger. She had the nerve to smirk. Sadie knew she should turn around and go home, forget Stone ever existed. She should do exactly what she did with Tyler. It was what she should do. Just walk away and never look back. Sadie heard herself say it but she was too far gone. Sadie was done with walking away.

  Sadie put on a sinister smile and cocked her head. Krista raised her eyebrows at Sadie and her expression changed once again. Krista just realized she might have underestimated the little diner girl.

  “Uhh, baby, come out here,” Krista nervously shouted.

  “Oh no, that’s not necessary you little fucking twit. You go back in and continue fucking that piece of shit motherfucker. Just do me a favor and tell him I think he is the biggest fucking asshole to ever walk the face of this earth. I hope he fucking catches all the venereal diseases your skanky ass is carrying. I hope he spends the rest of his life at clinics trying to treat all the warts on his cock. I hope the thing fucking rots off,” Sadie yelled at the top of her lungs.

  A surprised male voice bellowed from the other room, “What the fuck?”

  Sadie grabbed the tray of enchiladas and she ripped the cover off and flipped it over on the beautiful green couch. It splattered everywhere. The couch was ruined! She turned back to Krista.

  “Enjoy dinner, it’s homemade! And tell him one more thing. Fuck you!” Sadie screamed.

  She turned around and came to a halt. In the doorway, four sets of eyes were staring at her! Sadie could see them all but one pair of confused eyes held hers. Stone. Stone was standing right in front of her. He wasn’t in his room waiting on his skank. He was ten feet in front of her. Sadie turned back to the skank who now tried to cover her breasts with one arm and her crotch with her hand. Sadie turned back to Stone.

  Oh shit!

  She met the stares of the others. Ethan and Roxanne looked back at her with stunned eyes while Bogs moved closer to Stone and looked as though he was trying to hold back from laughing.

  “Sadie?” Stone questioned, bringing her attention back to him. “What the hell is going on?”

  The color drained from her face. He wasn’t in his room having sex with Krista. Sadie had just yelled and screamed, called him names of the harshest kind, ruined his couch—all for nothing. He wasn’t even with her. Oh God!

  “What the fuck?” Behind her came a furious roar. Sadie turned to see T, dressed in unbuttoned jeans standing in the doorway looking around the room. His voice was livid and his eyes blazed. His angry eyes landed on Sadie.

  “This bitch just went psychotic on me,” Krista yelled, rushing behind T. “She’s fucking crazy, T. She told me to tell you to fuck off!”

  Oh God! She was with T. It all became clear, she just completely fucked up.

  “Sadie?” Her head whipped back to a bemused Stone.

  “I just…I thought that you…” She looked over at a pissed off T. “B
ut it was T and I…oh shit! I…I just…I fucked up.” She was such an idiot. Sadie bent her head down and tried to plan her escape. She needed the quickest way to dart out of the room. Suddenly, arms surrounded her and she was cradled with a chest to her back. His body rumbled.

  “So you thought it was me in the other room. Yeah?” He snorted.

  Sadie nodded and peeked up to see Ethan and Bogs smirking. Roxanne had taken a seat on the untarnished couch. When Sadie’s eyes met hers, her lips were tight, trying to suppress her laugh. She winked at her.

  “Is that why you were yelling about hoping my dick rots off?”

  Sadie nodded again as the room erupted in laughter. She closed her eyes again. She was so embarrassed. Sadie had completely misjudged this situation and made a complete ass of herself. Why wasn’t he yelling at her telling her to get out of his house? She had just displayed the worst kind of insanity imaginable.

  He leaned forward moving her with him. Sadie could see the chicken enchiladas all over his couch.

  “Aw, babe, you made me dinner?” he said, amused.

  “Damn, girl, it looks good.” Bogs chuckled.

  Sadie was mortified.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Krista shouted from the other side of the room. “Get her out of here, T.”

  Sadie looked over to T who now had a shocked looking girl standing next him in what looked to be his T-shirt. It was the other girl from the diner, Jill. T was pissed as he turned to Krista. “Go get your stuff.”

  “Wait, what? You’re kicking me out? No! Make her leave.” She screamed, pointed, and then glared at Sadie.

  The room exploded in more laughter. She now glared at the entire room.

  “Come on, Krista, let’s go!” said Jill in a quiet voice. She turned to go back to T’s room.

  Krista stormed past T and followed Jill. Sadie had ruined not only the couch but T’s night. He looked at her and ran his hand over his face. “You are a pain in the ass, girl.” He walked away.

  The next hour was surreal. Stone refused to let her leave when she tried. He said they needed to talk. Apparently, he needed to inform her exactly what it meant to be his woman. He didn’t seem mad which surprised her. Sadie had ruined his couch and caused a scene in his apartment. But everybody laughed it off.

  Roxanne ordered Chinese food for everyone and rehashed the night with quotes of Sadie’s from earlier. Roxanne’s favorite was “Oh that’s not necessary, you little fucking twit.” Sadie blushed at her reliving the highlights from the night while the others just laughed.

  Ethan told her not to bother but she insisted on trying to clean up the couch. It was pointless, it was ruined. She offered to pay for the replacement. But Ethan just shrugged it off claiming the security would cover it. Sadie fully intended to pay Stone back. After all, it was her fault.

  When T came out with Jill and Krista behind him, Sadie grabbed his arm. He still looked pissed and who could blame him. She fucked up. She needed to apologize.

  “I’m really sorry.” Sadie looked back at Krista who was glaring and Jill who looked embarrassed.

  T just shrugged off her hand and walked out the door. Krista muttered “bitch” as she past her. Jill was last in line. When she looked at her Sadie gave a slight smile. Jill smiled back and leaned into her. At first Sadie thought she might hit her but she didn’t.

  She whispered, “No harm, I got to come. Krista didn’t, that’s why she’s so mad!”

  Sadie giggled and Jill joined in. She winked at Sadie and closed the door behind her.

  During dinner everyone wanted to know what Jill said but Sadie kept her mouth shut. When T came back, he made a plate of food and took the empty seat on the good couch next to Sadie. Sadie refused to look at him, feeling horrible about the misunderstanding. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw him reaching in his pocket.

  “Wanna give this to Stone?”

  Sadie looked down at his hand and saw a cell phone. Stone’s cell phone. She bit her lip and took the phone without making eye contact with T, passing it over to Stone on the other side of her.

  “He left it in the truck. I guess he was in such a hurry to get in here to see you he forgot to grab it.”

  Sadie looked up at T and gave him a strained smile. She was so embarrassed.

  “I checked the truck earlier and didn’t see it,” Stone said.

  “It was in the back on the floor, musta slid out your bag, I guess.” T took a bite of his food and turned his focus to Roxanne who was talking about their dad.

  Sadie leaned over to Stone who was checking his messages and whispered, “I’m really sorry, I feel like such a jerk and I…”

  Stone interrupted and hushed her, keeping his voice low only she could here, “Shh…Sadie, it’s fine. I know you’re sorry and I know you feel bad.” He leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “I also know you don’t get what it means to be mine but you will. There is no one else, babe. No one, just you. You get me?”

  Sadie stared at Stone, she was his, only her. She nodded and rested back in the couch with a smile on her face. Only her.

  They all started talking about Thanksgiving. They were leaving on Tuesday night for their flight home. When she asked when they were coming back, the room fell silent. They weren’t coming back. The job was over.

  Roxanne broke the silence with stories of their Thanksgiving pasts.

  “It’s tradition that we hang out Wednesday night. The tradition started when we were kids, we would have a bonfire at the house. It was awesome, Sadie. Mom and Dad invited family and friends over and we’d roast marshmallows.”

  Sadie smiled at Roxanne’s excitement as she told the story

  “When the guys got older they wanted to party at their friend’s house. But that didn’t last long.” Roxanne smirked and looked at Stone and then Bogs. Stone’s face turned a shade a red.

  “So, Bogs and Stone come home shitfaced, absolutely wasted. They both pass out on the front porch. The next morning everyone assumed they were sleeping in, recovering from the night before so no one checked on them. It turns out they were still passed out on the porch when the guests started to arrive. Mom banned all of them the following year from going out the night before Thanksgiving.” Roxanne was laughing through her last sentence. Bogs and Stone remained quietly chuckling at the memory.

  Sadie laughed hysterically as they told more stories. Her favorite was the story Ethan told about Darla’s last Thanksgiving.

  “We knew it would be her last. She had fought so long and hard, she just wanted Thanksgiving. In our house, all holidays were celebrated but Thanksgiving was her favorite. A day devoted to being with the family. I know you didn’t know her, Sadie, but Darla was the epitome of what a mother should be. I think if any one of us could have dreamed up the perfect mom, we would have all gotten ours. Three years ago, T and Stone were overseas. They tried to get leave but as you can imagine everyone wants to go home for the holidays. Anyway, we planned the day with everyone, minus T and Stone. Halfway through the day we heard a chopper from outside. It was so loud it sounded like it was shaking the house. Everyone goes outside to see a helicopter hovering over the pasture near our house. Two seconds later someone jumps out and then another person.” He started laughing with sadness. “I’ll never forget the look on Mom’s face when she saw it was Stone and T.”

  Everyone laughed but there was sadness beyond the laughs. They all missed their mom. Darla Garrison sounded like a mom who loved her kids. And they obviously loved her.

  “So, Sadie, tell us a story,” Roxanne said. “About a funny Thanksgiving you had.”

  Sadie was sitting on the couch cuddled up to Stone with his arm around her. Her hand was on his leg while they told their stories.

  “I don’t have funny stories like you guys.” Her anxiety grew.

  “It doesn’t have to be funny; it doesn’t even have to be about Thanksgiving. Just anything.” Roxanne adjusted her feet underneath her and her elbow to the recliner. She looked over at Sadie w
ith anticipation as she placed her chin in her palm. She was waiting for a story Sadie didn’t have to tell.

  Her stories weren’t happy ones. Looking back they were funny but in a pitiful way and there weren’t any that she wanted to share. Sadie could make one up, she thought. Stone’s arms tightened around her.

  “I’m sorry.” Sadie let out a nervous laugh. “I can’t think of any right now. Rox, tell me another one of yours.”

  “No, I want to hear about you Sadie.”

  “Let it go, Rox,” Stone demanded.

  “Let what go?” Roxanne was confused.

  “She doesn’t want to share. Back off,” he growled.

  “But I just…” She was interrupted by Ethan this time.

  “Roxanne! Let. It. Go.” He stated it calmly but his intent to her was obvious. He wanted her to shut up.

  Sadie felt bad. Roxanne was trying to get to know her, include her, and now she was getting yelled at.

  “Okay, Rox, I have one. It’s not funny and nobody jumps out of a plane,” Sadie winked at Stone, “but it’s a happy one.”

  Stone and T snorted while everyone else smiled at her. Roxanne grinned at Sadie, the mood shifted back to happy and she eagerly gestured her to go on.

  “So, I have this neighbor Miss Trudy,” she turned to Ethan, “you met her when you stopped by, remember?”

  “Miss Trudy. I remember.” He winked.

  “Well, Miss Trudy is an incredible baker, every Christmas she bakes cookies for me. They are amazing. Anyway, when I was eight I became obsessed with butterflies. I would watch them, draw them. I even wrote stories about them. I loved them. By the time my birthday rolled around, I was still into my butterflies. For my ninth birthday, she made me a purple and yellow butterfly cake. It was even in the shape of a butterfly! It was the best gift I ever got, it was awesome!” That story made Sadie happy.

  “That’s so sweet! Did you have a butterfly themed party, too?” Roxanne asked.