Toy's Story

by Brenda Stokes Lee

  “Like what?”

  Tyson looked at Logic who was standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. It was obvious that he was extremely pissed. “Is there any chance that we can talk in private?”

  “Tyson this is my man, Logic Hart of the Nevada Kings. Logic this is Tyson an old friend from college and my job.” Out of respect they both mumbled a semi cordial hello, neither made a move to extend a friendly handshake. “Tyson this is Logic’s home. I can’t ask him to excuse himself from a room in his own home, so I’m afraid that you’ll have to say whatever you have to say to me in front of him.”

  “Okay. I understand perfectly. Let me just ask you this, does your man know about me?”

  “Yes, he knows about us.”

  “Okay, so does he know about Jamar?”

  “What? What does Jamar have to do with this? And who told you about Jamar?” I asked confused.

  “Look this is wasting time. Time we unfortunately don’t have.” Tyson draws a big breath and then hits me with a bomb right in my face. “Jamar was arrested last night for carjacking and armed robbery.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not finished. The driver of the car was shot and he’s also being arraigned for attempted murder, which I’ll have to up to first degree murder if the man dies.”

  “That’s impossible. He would never do something like that… I just talked to him a few weeks ago. There must be a big mistake. Why didn’t he call me?”

  “Apparently, he tried but he couldn’t reach you. I guess you’re no longer accepting calls with a DC area code. Anyway, he had his Public Defender contact me to see if I’d contact you.”

  “Has he been arraigned?”

  “Not yet, I pushed it off for as long as I could in hopes that I’d catch up with you. I did the best that I could do, but he’s scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon.”

  “Who’s his PD?”

  “Chad Donaldson I think. Well at least that’s the last I heard.”

  “Oh my God! Are you serious? Chad Donaldson is a board certified idiot! He’s never won a single damn case.”

  Tyson shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just delivering the message out of respect for you.”

  “So where are they holding him?”

  “DC jail of course.”

  “Who’s the Prosecutor?”

  “This one fell on my desk? I’m sorry. They want me to handle it.”

  “Oh come on Tyson… you can’t possibly be considering doing that.”

  “What am I suppose to do Toy?”

  “Tell them that you have a conflict of interest or something.”

  “Toy I can’t tell them that I have a conflict of interest without exposing my relationship with you. Which I’m sure that you know will bring into question every single case that you’ve ever handled since I’ve been a DA. That’s why I’m here. If Jamar decides to run his damn mouth to save his ass, we could both be disbarred.”

  “Shit! You’re right. Okay, let me get dressed. I’ll handle this.”

  “So, what are you going to do?” Tyson asked as he watched me turn to leave.

  “I’m going to represent Jamar. He didn’t do this. I know he didn’t.”

  “What? No… hold up! Where are you going?” Logic interrupted.

  “I have to go to DC to talk to Jamar before the arraignment.”

  “But, I thought you quit your job as a Public Defender?” Logic asked confused.

  “I did, but I’m still a licensed attorney, eligible to practice in DC.” I said as I kissed his lips. “I got to go. Jamar needs my help.”

  “No, let me call Dorian. He’ll find Jamar a good criminal lawyer to handle this.”

  “Baby, I’m one of the best criminal lawyers in the tri-state area. I have to do this. Jamar’s my friend and he’s in a lot of trouble. Besides, I’m the only one he’ll trust. Let me do this? Please.” I pleaded.

  “We need to talk about this Zatoya.” Logic complained.

  “I know and we will. It’s just that I don’t have a lot of time right now. I promise we’ll talk when I get back.” I said as I looked in Logic’s big brown eyes and convinced him that he could trust me.

  “Alright, but I’m still calling Dorian.”

  Chapter 21

  Against his better judgment Logic gave me the okay to ride with Tyson in his chauffer driven Lincoln Town Car. As Tyson mentally molested me as I entered the vehicle I was no longer sure that this was such a good idea.

  “Stop looking at me like that.” I warned as I slid in beside him and the driver closed the door behind me.

  “Like what?” He innocently grinned.

  “Like I’m a hot pussy sandwich.” I responded.

  Tyson laughed. “I’m sorry. It’s almost lunch time and I am a little hungry.”

  “Forget it!” I countered. “Tell me about the case. What happened?”

  “I will, but can we talk first?” A seriousness that I hadn’t encountered crossed Tyson’s face and caused his brow to wrinkle.

  I sighed as I realized exactly what he wanted to talk about. “Sure go ahead.”

  “What happened to us?”

  “What? Seriously?”

  “Yes, I’m very serious. What happened to us? I thought that we were good? Now, you won’t even return my calls. What did I do, Toy?”

  “You didn’t do anything. I met Logic on Christmas Eve when I was stranded in West Virginia. We’ve been together ever since then.”

  “Yeah, but I thought we were building up to something special.”

  “Something special like what? I’ve known you since undergrad. Hell, for all practical purposes I’ve been your woman since undergrad. But you’ve never really acknowledged me publicly as a good friend, let alone your girlfriend. Do you have any idea how that feels?”

  “Toy, I…”

  “No let me finish. I added Jamar into the equation and kept you at a safe distance because I didn’t want you to break my heart when you married some homely ass white girl named Sandy, because that’s what your family and friends expected you to do.”

  “Toy you of all people know that I’m not a racist.”

  “Perhaps, but your parents and your friends are conservative enough to be misunderstood as being racist. The mere fact that you cater to that bullshit indicates that a part of you could be.”

  “That’s bullshit Toy! I’m fucking in love with you.”

  “What? Please… You’re in love with how my mouth and my pussy make you feel! Don’t even try that bullshit!” I replied as I stared blankly out of the limo window wondering what could have been.

  “If that’s true would I have bought you this? Huh Zatoya?”

  As I looked back at Tyson I saw something in his gorgeous blue eyes that I never saw before, tears. In his hand I caught a glimpse of something that I never once fathomed that I’d see, a stunning diamond engagement ring for me.

  “What’s that?” I mumbled as I took careful inventory of a five carat, round solitaire stone set in an intricate platinum setting.

  ‘Marry me?” He sighed.

  “When the hell did you get that and why?”

  “Toy I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you. Marry me…Let’s have some kids, raise a family and grow old together. Fuck my parents and fuck my friends… hell fuck the world if they have a problem with it! I want you to be my wife. Marry me?”

  As stunned as a farmer kicked in the head by his favorite mule I stared at Tyson. Words would not come but tears started to leak uncontrollably from my eyes.

  “Please don’t do this. I’m with Logic now.”

  “So what? You still have feelings for me.”

  “Tyson, you’re not listening. I’m in love with Logic. I’ve moved on.”

  “What does any of that have to do with how you feel about me?”

  “It has everything to do with how I feel about you. I’m happy. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”


  “I am happy for you, but you and I both know that you’d be a lot happier if you were engaged to me.”

  “Says who?” I tried to laugh that bullshit off as the tears continued to rain down my face like a monsoon.

  “Tell me you don’t love me.”

  “Stop, please just stop.” I begged, overwhelmed and consumed by emotions for him that I had been suppressing for years.

  “I will, just answer me,”

  No longer having the luxury of evading the question that’s bothered me for almost seven years I conceded. “Okay yes I love you. So what? Look where that has gotten me. I’ve loved you for seven years and I still feel like your damn concubine.”

  “Zatoya! How could you even say that?” Tyson asked appalled.

  “Because it’s fuckin true!” I cried. “I would have never even met Logic if you had just come to pick me up when I had that accident.”

  “Toy I told you that I was in Richmond at my parents.”

  “I know what you told me. What I don’t know is why you weren’t in DC with me? It was Christmas Eve. People who’re in love should be together on Christmas Eve. Yet you left me stranded in Dumbfuck West Virginia at the mercy of strangers.” I screamed.

  “You’re the one who insisted upon going to Dumbfuck to get that God damn deposition! I begged you to spend the night with me and take care of that bullshit later! I’ve had this ring in my damn pocket ever since that fucking night!” He yelled back.

  “What?”

  “Yeah, I was going to ask you to marry me that night. No, but hard headed, super Public Defender Zatoya, defender of the fucking criminals of the universe had to go get a damn inconsequential deposition and fuck everything up! We’d be engaged by now. Instead you’ve quit your job and moved in with a man you barely fucking know. What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you completely loss your mind?”

  Kicked in the head again by that same damn dumbass mule I was rendered numb. Tyson was right. I must have bumped my head in that car accident and totally loss my damn mind. Now I’d be the first to admit that Logic is one of the finest men that God hung a dick on and we have been having the time of our life. But I quit my damn job to become a trophy wife. Do you have any idea what I had to sacrifice to go to Law School? What the fuck?

  Besides all that, Logic’s an extraordinarily rich celebrity and chances are that I’m just a novelty toy for him to play with until he gets tired of me. Sure he said he loved me, but hell he said he loved his tuna fish sandwich that I made him earlier today. We’ve been together for less than three months; could this man really be head over ass in love with me like he claims to be?

  “Now you’ve not only fucked up your life you’ve fucked up mine as well. I cannot believe this fucking bullshit! I’m about to lose my job and be disbarred because you brought this idiot con in your life. Then to top it all off, you have the fucking audacity to say that I treated you like a fucking concubine. Woman I fucking adore you! I’ve worshipped the earth you walk on since the second I met you. And FYI neither my parents nor my friends are racist. In fact they think that I’m not good enough for you. I finally convinced them that I had my shit together enough to ask you to marry me and now you pull this bullshit!” Tyson continued to rant.

  “Tyson I’m sorry.” I said as I put my hand on his knee and tried to console him.

  “Oh I agree that you’re sorry Toy and you might as well add selfish and unappreciative to your damn list of attributes while you’re naming them.” He mumbled as he discreetly wiped the tear that fell from his eye. He stared blankly out the car window, unable to even look at me. “I fucking can’t even believe the bullshit you’ve got me into.”

  “Okay so, I deserved that.” I said as I placed my hand on his chin and turned his handsome face back to look at me. “I apologize… for everything. I didn’t know how you felt about me. I assumed…”

  “You assumed what? You assumed that because I was white that I was incapable of loving you? Is that what you assumed? If anybody I know is a racist, it’s probably you.”

  “No, I assumed that your political aspirations would not afford you the luxury of marrying a woman like me.”

  “What are you talking about? Many Senators and Presidents have been married to complete asses. What does the fact that you’re a selfish ass have to do with anything?” He joked.

  “Okay, I guess I deserve that one too. Can you forgive me?” I asked as I stared deep into his eyes and loss myself in the depths of their blueness.

  Tyson searched my face for an uncomfortable frame of time before his eyes locked on to mine and bore deep into my soul in search of an answer that I carefully hid from him for so long. “Tell me that you’re in love with me. Just once, I want to hear it from your mouth and then I’ll forgive you.”

  I wanted to say it. Hell, I couldn’t even believe that I felt it. Too many things hung on those words and I knew if I said them that I’d never be able to take them back. Yet I knew that if I didn’t say them that I’d simply be lying to both of us. What about Logic? Would my profession of my love for Tyson somehow negate what I feel for him? I didn’t know what to say and there was no way to escape Tyson’s intense glare that held my very spirit hostage as he awaited the truth.

  “Yes, I’m in love with you. I denied it and tried to evade it because I couldn’t see how it could ever have a happy ending. I couldn’t see a scenario where you and I would have a happy ending. So, I deliberately piled a mile high pile of bullshit in between us to protect myself from being hurt. I knew sooner or later there would come a day when you’d realize that good sex wasn’t enough.” I admitted as tears began to leak from my eyes.

  Tyson swallowed hard and I noticed a lone tear trail gently along the lines of his chiseled jaw. “Zatoya Waters, you have driven me absolutely insane from the first time I heard you open that big mouth of yours. Yet I can’t imagine being in love with anyone else but you. Will you at least consider my proposal?”

  At that very moment I realized that I never really gave Tyson a chance to explain what happened to him on Christmas Eve. Honestly this man has never said no to me or let me down. Whatever I needed he would always get it. I guess I had been treated so badly, so long by no good men that in my bitterness I just lumped all men in the same kennel. In retrospect I realized that I was wrong. Tyson was in fact a good man and at this very moment I realized that I was the fuck up! I cheated on him first with Jamar and now with Logic.

  “Tyson we’ve been together for seven years why didn’t you say anything?”

  “What was I suppose to say? You made it clear from the second we hooked up that you didn’t want anything more. I was there for you Toy every minute of the hour and you know that. Actually, I thought one day you’d recognize that, stop all your bullshit and let me in. Now, threatened with the possibility of losing you, I no longer have the luxury of being silent. Jamar was never a threat to me. I knew he couldn’t afford you and I knew you wouldn’t settle for less than you wanted. Logic Hart though… Yeah that shit fucked me up when I found out.”

  “How’d you find out about Logic?”

  “I did a satellite search on your phone and then a property search on the location. I guess I should say locations. Any way it revealed the owner of the house. I probably should say the mansions. Anyway there’s not a guy on the planet who watches football who doesn’t know that name. So, I thought I’d lost you. Then you showed up back in Baltimore at the precise time when Jamar was locked up… and I knew I had a shot and I was determined to take it. So, I’m going to ask you again will you at least take some time to consider my marriage proposal.” Tyson asked as he studied my face as if it was an intriguing mystery novel.

  Now, my mind was screaming, “Hell to the Fuckin No!” Logic is worth over a hundred million fuckin dollars, that’s just like winning the Lotto. Hell Nakeisha and Mookey stupid, cheating asses got a quarter of million dollars of “Stay the hell away from me!” money from him. Not to mention my half million dollar promise ri
ng which I luckily decided to wear on a long chain around my neck. How can I possibly walk away from that man? Still, even though my mind was screaming loudly tell him no, my heart surprisingly was singing a different song. Without warning my head begin to slowly nod yes. To my utter shock that slow nod quickly turned into an affirmative yes as Tyson wiped the corners of my eyes and kissed me on the forehead.

  “Okay, but I’ll need some time to process everything.” I heard my heart speak out loud as my brain groaned, “Oh Hell No! What the fuck?”

  A broad sexy grin slowly crept across Tyson’s face as the gravity of my answer slowly hit home. Excited he kissed me hard in the mouth to seal the deal. Suddenly I found myself doing an old familiar tongue dance with an old familiar lover who could still get me moist and ready with just a single kiss. Damn, I had almost forgotten how crazy this man made my body feel.

  “Okay… Alright, but I’m going to need you to even out the playing field.” He said as he abruptly broke our intimate embrace.

  “What do you mean?” I asked confused.

  “I need you to take a break from Logic while you make your decision. I don’t want you sexing him while you decide my fate. It’s really not fair to either of us.”

  “Okay… You’re right.” I quickly conceded.

  “Not so fast. And I want equal face time, starting tonight.”

  Now, I knew that Tyson was right. What I didn’t know was how I was going to tell Logic any of the bullshit that just transpired. “What the fuck just happened?” My mind screamed and I am sure many of you are screaming the exact same damn thing. I’m going to have to plead the Fifth on this one.

  Chapter 22

  Now to say that Jamar was happy to see me would be the understatement of the Millennium. Tyson made no promises to him that he would be able to locate me, let alone convince me to come to DC to represent him. Basically, I showed up unannounced. The jail guards only told him that he had an attorney visit. When he walked in that room and saw me there he couldn’t refrain from running over to me to give me a gigantic bear hug. Naturally the slightly out of shape guard tried to intercept him but Jamar was as fast as a cheetah as he ran to me.