Toy's Story

by Brenda Stokes Lee

  He looked deep into my eyes again before entangling me in a passionate kiss as he waved for the wedding planner and her entourage to get the hell out.

  Now I know at this point some of you, who will remain nameless are screaming, “Hold the hell up! How is this trick just going to forget about Logic like he never existed? This silly bitch has straight up lost her damn mine!”

  You’re right! I had straight up lost my damn mine. It wasn’t that I didn’t think about Logic. Hell, I wished I could stop thinking about him. The truth is I would actually be doing somersaults and back flips if I was marrying Logic in ninety days, but I wasn’t. If you recall I asked Logic to marry me and to date I still hadn’t received and answer. Now I could pretend that he just needed some more time, but he could have said that. At least I would have known that he was seriously considering my proposal. Yet Logic said absolutely nothing, which means that I probably would not have liked the answer that he gave me.

  I told you that I was twenty eight years old. Even though I’m an independent woman, taking care of shit on my own, I still want the husband, the kids and the house with a white picket fence. Try as hard as I could, I just could not convince myself that that would be an option with Logic Hart. Well, at least not within the near future. For some reason the second that Tyson produced that ring and indicated that he wanted to marry me my biological clock started to tick so loud that I couldn’t even think straight.

  Besides, Logic is larger than life. Hell, he’s an NFL Super Star and football royalty. Even I’m in awe of him when he runs out of that tunnel with that helmet and uniform on, or when I see him on TV. He could have just about any woman he wanted and I knew it. He was handsome, charming and extremely rich. Women threw themselves at his feet constantly. Yet I was the woman that he came home to every night.

  Yes, I was flattered that for a time that woman was me and I felt blessed. But I really wasn’t silly enough to believe that without an option for a wedding ring that I would always be the only woman in his life and in his bed. Frankly, I just couldn’t take the chance that he’d someday dismiss me for a younger model. I loved him too much for that and I knew that it would break my heart. So I decided to get out while I still had an opportunity to have most of the things that I wanted out of life.

  Yeah I hear you. I knew that it was a cop out and that I’d look back and wonder what could have been for the rest of my life. Still I was willing to do that as long as I could look forward to a life with a man that I loved. I loved Tyson, though I never wanted to admit it to myself. He was actually my best friend. I know I said that we were just friends with benefits, but it had developed into a lot more than that over the years. The reality of the subject is he was the only real friend that I had.

  Please don’t bring Jamar up. Now that was a strictly friends with benefits situation. Quite frankly the only reason Jamar and I were friends, was because we both enjoyed the fringe benefits of our friendship. Tyson and I were different; we connected on so many more levels for so many years. In fact my relationship with Jamar started when I felt that I was becoming too attached to Tyson. I needed a safety net for my perceived fall off the Pretty Boy tree and Jamar was elected.

  So with all of that sappy ass shit out of the way let me find some damn Bridesmaids, so I can find a dress for this damn wedding! The Obamas? Seriously! Somebody please send me some fuckin help!

  ~*~*~

  “I know this trick didn’t call us to be Bridesmaids in her damn wedding after the she shit she pulled.” Jade complained as I opened my condo door and invited her and Queen in.

  “Tell me again why I shouldn’t beat her little ass?” Queen asked as she waddled in.

  “Probably because your big ass is nine months pregnant. You couldn’t lift that leg up if Christian asked you to.” I laughed. “Hello to you two bitches too!” I said as I hugged and kissed Queen and then Jade. “God you’ve gotten fat.”

  “Kiss my fat pregnant ass! I’ll have you know that I lift these legs up for my hubby every night and twice on Saturday.” Queen retaliated.

  “Why are you trying to get her started on her damn weight? We won’t get a thing done listening to her whine. I told her that Karma was a bitch and I was her master. She didn’t listen. Look at her big ass now.”

  “Fuck both you skinny ass heifers!” Queen nonchalantly responded as she waddled into my living and confiscated a spot on my comfy chaise lounge. “I can’t wait to get back to my normal size. Whuh, I’m exhausted get me something to drink.”

  Jade and I simultaneously burst into laughter. “Oh my God! When are you due? Queen you are huge.”

  “Any damn second.” Jade laughed as she looked around. “You have a nice condo, I love the view.”

  “I bet the view in the kitchen is nice too. So will somebody please get me something cold to drink?”

  “Certainly Mye Queen.” I teased as I pretended to bow.

  “It’s Mye Love, Bitch. Stop trying to be cute and get me something to drink.”

  “I got that baby. Go entertain your friends.” Tyson said as he came up and hugged me from behind before kissing my neck.

  “Wait let me introduce you to them. Tyson this is Jade Swann, Dorian’s wife and this is Doctor Mye Love. This is my fiancé William Branford Tyson, the District Attorney of Washington, DC. You can just call him Tyson. These are my Bridesmaids.”

  A broad charismatic smile brightened his face. “Hello ladies. It’s a pleasure to meet both you. Dr. Love, I’ll be right back with your drink.”

  “Thank you. At least somebody has some manners in this house.” Queen smiled as she did a quick head to toe scan of Tyson’s finest.

  Now Jade and Queen both had the OMG face as they watched my drop dead gorgeous fiancé go into the kitchen and prepare us a pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade.

  “Oh my God! I think I just came.” Jade joked as she fanned herself with a magazine from my coffee table.

  “That man is as fine as hell.” Queen mumbled beneath her breath. “Now I see the true dilemma.”

  “Shh...” I mouthed. “He can hear you.”

  Now yes, you’re right. I was as wrong as a Sunday School Teacher giving lap dances after church to make ends meet, but I had no other choice. I haven’t had female friends since high school. Over the past three months Jade and Queen reached out to me and we became friends. Sure I know that they’re Logic’s friends and they probably couldn’t be trusted. But I’d like to think that they were now my friends as well. Considering the fact that they didn’t tell me to fuck off when I called them I think they considered me a friend as well. Besides I really don’t want to hire actors to pretend to be my girlfriends, but I will do it to ensure that there are bridesmaids at this damn wedding.

  “Okay ladies… Here is some fresh lemonade and some snacks in case you get hungry. Now I must go, so that you ladies can talk about me freely.” Tyson teased.

  “Don’t run off because of us. We’re fairly harmless. I promise I won’t bite.” Jade joked.

  “I know. I have some errands to run and I promised Toy that I wouldn’t interrupt. But I’m sure that we’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next couple of months. Weddings are not Toy’s thing. She’s going to need her girls to see her through this.” Tyson said as he took my hand into his and kissed it. “Walk me to the door?”

  “What time will you be back?” I asked as Tyson pulled me in his arms as we reached the foyer.

  “I won’t be gone long. I have a few things to take care of at the house. I’ll be back in two or three hours at least.” He said as he sampled my lips.

  “You can stay if you want. We’re just going to look at some bridal magazines and talk.”

  “Yeah, I know. You’re going to talk about me!” He chuckled.

  “I wish I could say that, that wasn’t true.”

  “Look, it’s okay. I get it. I’ll be back.” Tyson mumbled as he tasted my lips before engaging me in a passionate kiss .Just promise me that, when I get back
I’ll have you all to myself.”

  “Be careful what you ask for.” I teased as I watched him open the door to leave.

  “Goodbye ladies.”

  “Goodbye Tyson.” Queen and Jade chimed in unison.

  The very second the door closed those two hens went at it.

  “That shit you pulled on Logic was wrong, but if you’re going to dump a man like Logic then that’s the man you leave him for.” Jade declared. “That fuckin man is fine!”

  “He is handsome, Toy. And I can tell that he loves the hell out of you.”Queen agreed.

  “Why do I sense that there’s a but to that statement?”

  “Probably because there is.” Jade interjected as she took a sip of lemonade.

  “But I don’t see what I saw in your eyes for him, what I saw in your eyes for Logic.”

  “What? Queen I love him. I do.”

  “I didn’t say that you didn’t, Toy. The difference is that you were in love with Logic. Sold out, one hundred percent ride or die in love with him. I don’t see that sparkle in your eye for Tyson. I’m sorry I just don’t”

  “Tyson and I have been lovers for over seven years. Sure it’s going to be a difference. Logic and I were new love and that’s what you saw.”

  “Maybe, but I have to agree with Queen. However, I did notice that he has that sparkle for you. You on the other hand just look like you’re being drug along for the ride.”

  “Sorry Toy, but that’s also how I see it. I think you’ll be making a big mistake if you go through with this wedding.”

  “Really, couldn’t you two just pretend to be happy for me? I know that you’re Logic’s friends, so naturally you’re going to take his side. But that hurts. I love that man. So maybe I don’t have that fire inside that I have for Logic, but please don’t say that I don’t love him.” I managed before my voice started to crack as I got emotional. “I’m getting married. And nothing the two of you say is going to change that. Nothing!”

  “Toy don’t cry. We didn’t say it to hurt you.” Queen offered.

  “We’re just trying to help you.”

  “Fine if you want to help me then you’ll pick up those damn magazines and pick out some dresses. And you’ll never bring up Logic’s name again. If you can’t do that then there’s the door. Take y’all bullshit and get the fuck out. Because I don’t need…”

  “Toy stop!” Jade quickly interrupted.

  Queen wrestled her way from the chaise lounge and waddled to me. “I didn’t mean to cause you pain. I thought that we were close enough friends that I could share that with you, because that’s what friends do. Please tell me that I wasn’t wrong.” She said as she hugged me. “Was I wrong to assume that we are friends?”

  “No you weren’t wrong. You and Jade are the only girlfriends that I have. You didn’t say anything that I don’t already know. I guess that’s why it hurt. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Jade said as she took her turn to hug me. “If you don’t want to talk about what’s his name then we won’t talk about what’s his name.”

  “Look, I know what I walked away from that day. Logic is a Super Star. He’s like a god in the entertainment field. And yes, oh did I worship him in and out of the bed. The thing is that I knew that there would eventually come a day when he no longer was in awe of me. He didn’t want to marry me.”

  “Toy I think he did.” Queen broke in. “He just needed a little more time to be certain.”

  “Queen, I know that’s what I thought too, but I couldn’t afford to take that chance. I didn’t want to wake up five years later and find out that he was done with me and found someone younger and prettier. I want a husband and kids just like you. Tyson offered that to me with unconditional love. I would have been a fool not to take it, so I said yes.”

  Queen looked at Jade. They knew that it was pointless to try to convince me to call off my wedding for my infatuation with Logic. They both nodded that they understood.

  “You’re right. So, let’s sift through this pile of magazines and find you a dress.” Queen conceded. “Congratulations.” She said as she kissed my tear stained cheek.

  “Congratulations.” Jade cosigned as she gave me a big hug and a kiss. “Let’s find my dress and a tent for her big ass!” She joked as she pointed to Queen.

  “Whatever, I deliver in less than a week and I will be in full divalicious shape by the time she gets ready to walk down that aisle.” Queen announced as she grabbed a magazine and headed back to her cozy chaise. “So come over here and tell us about this sexy man that you’re marrying.”

  “He’s too perfect. He probably beats her.” Jade teased.

  “What? Tyson would never hit me. He is kind of perfect though.” I conceded as I joined Jade on the sofa and grabbed a magazine from the stack.

  As I watched the two of them comb the magazines in search of the perfect dress for me I instinctively realized that I had found two ride or die girlfriends and we would be friends for life. True to their word they never spoke of Logic again. Unfortunately, that did nothing to heal the gigantic festering hole in my heart that prohibited me from forgetting his laugh, his smile, his haunting eyes and of course his intimate touch.

  Chapter 27

  Time passed quickly. So quickly in fact that I stared blankly at the calendar on the wall in my kitchen and could not believe that tomorrow was my wedding day. Naturally, Tyson’s boys had planned an extravagant Bachelor party for him that included a road trip to the casinos in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Apprehensive at first, I eventually gave in when I discovered they were being chauffeured in a limo. I wasn’t about to be the statistic that loses her groom on their wedding night to a damn drunk driving accident. To hell with that bullshit! Tyson would just have to be entertained by some local strippers and hoes.

  Not really feeling a trip to a strip club to see some nasty, sweaty strippers I was fine with the fact that my girls didn’t have anything special planned for my last day as a single woman. Emotionally exhausted I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to have some much needed me time. Little did I realize that that was just not in my cards.

  “So what time will you be back?” I asked Tyson as he prepared to leave.

  “I’ll be back in DC tomorrow around noon, but I’m going straight to my house.”

  “Why? Have them drop you off here. Don’t leave me with my family alone.”

  “Toy you know that it’s bad luck for the Groom to see the Bride before the wedding. Besides, I have a feeling that you won’t even miss me.”

  “We haven’t slept apart since we got engaged. Of course I’m going to miss you. Besides, I was hoping to get something started on our last few hours as single people.” I pouted as I innocently rubbed the front of Tyson’s pants.

  “Stop! We both agreed no sex until after the wedding. It’s a bridal tradition.” He declared as he quickly stopped my roaming hands which were heading for the waistband of his jeans.

  “It’s a dumbass tradition if you ask me. It’s been over a week since you touched me.”

  “It’s been four damn days.” Tyson chuckled. “Look, I promise on our wedding night you’ll be glad you waited.” He said as he hugged me. “Trust me I miss you just as much as you miss me.”

  “Yeah, I can tell.” I said as I felt his hardness press against me. “Alright get out of here before I rip your pants off.” I warned just as we heard a knock at the door.

  I followed Tyson to the door. To my utter surprise it was my two partners in crime, Jade and Queen.

  “Okay get dressed. We’re here to rescue you from your self imposed fortress of solitude.” Jade commanded as she hugged Tyson.

  “This trick just wanted to get some time in with her vibrator. I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling.” Queen chimed in. “Oh hey Tyson.”

  “What are you two hookers doing in DC?” I laughed. “Did you know about this?” I asked Tyson.

  “Of course I did. They pla
nned it a month ago to coincide with my bachelor party.”

  “What kind of Bridesmaids would we be if we left the Bride home alone the night before her wedding? Get dressed we don’t have all night.” Jade commanded.

  Tyson’s phone beeped indicating that he had a text. “Okay, that’s my ride. I’ll see you at the altar.” He said as his soft lips sampled mine.

  His words hit me like a heavy bag of stones as I realized that I wouldn’t see him again until we were taking our vows. I stared into his eyes and I lost myself for a brief moment in time. Becoming a little emotional I was quickly overwhelmed. Unable to speak I simply nodded my head, okay as I wiped tears from the corners of my eye. Without warning he swept me up in his arms and he kissed me hard and definitive as if it would be the very last kiss that we’d ever share. And I kissed him the same way, frightened by the thought that it possibly could be our very last embrace.

  “I love you.” He whispered in my ear before taking a whiff of my hair and kissing me gently on my neck.

  “I love you too. You know that right?” My eyes pleaded for confirmation of that simple but true fact.

  Tyson simply nodded yes as he lost himself in my eyes. I could see his eyes instantly swell with tears as he wiped the tears that trailed down my face like a pouring summer’s rain. I had never seen Tyson cry and he was not about to let me see him cry today. “I’d better go.”

  I had absolutely no explanation for how I felt. I only knew that I was suddenly frightened by the prospect that my fantasy of a husband, a family and a house with a white picket fence would began tomorrow, with just two simple words. I do.

  Chapter 28

  It really wasn’t a surprise that Queen and Jade had gone all out for my last night as a free woman. A chauffeured super stretch limo drove us from DC back to the Baltimore area. From there we stopped and had dinner at an exclusive restaurant. Then it was off to visit various night spots in and around Baltimore before we reached our final destination.