Wild Inside

by Artemis Anders

  She’d left Matthew’s house on good terms. He hadn’t wanted sex last night, though, which left her frustrated. But he was going to therapy and that’s what mattered. Sometimes you had to take a step back before moving two steps forward. Matthew wouldn’t quite know what to do with himself without Diana or his boys around, but he would figure it out. He would have to, if he wanted a life with her.

  She looked forward to a full day of riding. The wind from the last few days had calmed, and the forecast didn’t call for afternoon rain. Her endo pain hadn’t bothered her in a few days, either. It would be a good day.

  She thought about Asher’s reply. He’d offered no argument about her limited participation that weekend, or any sign of disappointment whatsoever. Not even a quip about her having a boyfriend. Yep, she’d made a big deal out of nothing. Sure, he was flirty. But he wasn’t interested in her like that. Even if he was, a guy like him could easily find another girl.

  When she arrived at the West Rim campground, the group of familiar faces sat drinking coffee or tinkering with their bikes. Trucks and tents were everywhere next to campsites filled with more bikers. Annie waved at her and came over.

  “You’re early,” Annie said. “My kind of riding partner.”

  “I have my flaws,” Diana replied. “But keeping my fellow riders waiting isn’t one of them.”

  “I knew there was something I liked about her,” she said to Diego, who’d just walked up.

  “You need help with your bike?” Diego offered.

  Diana shook her head. “I checked everything last night. But thank you.”

  When they left to gather their gear, she heard footsteps. She looked up to find Asher standing there.

  Holy Christmas, he was hot.

  Asher wore only riding shorts and a jersey, apparently oblivious to the morning chill. She waited for a roguish grin or flirty comment or some reference to Venus, but there was none to be had. And there was something about the way he looked at her, something that made her face heat up again. Like he wanted her, really wanted her. But something more… like relief that she’d come.

  “Good morning,” she said, smiling.

  “It is now.”

  Diana hesitated. Well, there went the idea that he would cease the flirting once she mentioned her boyfriend. The dude was bold, for sure. Yet, instead of offering up a pert reply, Diana remained silent and let the warm and fuzzy feeling course through her.

  “You feel like taking the lead this morning?” he said, changing the subject, to Diana’s relief.

  “Why me?”

  “We’re on your turf, Colorado. You’ve probably ridden these trails more than we have.”

  “I can recommend a couple trails, depending on what you want to start with. But I don’t want to slow you guys down.”

  Asher shook his head. “You won’t slow us down. You proved that in Red Rim. Do you mind? I’d do it, but I’ve got someone I need to look after.”

  Diana spotted a woman she’d never seen before. Blonde and pretty. A stab of inexplicable jealousy ran through her. He’d brought a date and would be riding with her, especially if she were a little slower or less experienced.

  Diana nodded, pushing away such thoughts. “Sure. I’ll give everyone the options and we’ll decide together which trail to take. Just give me a couple minutes to get my things together.”

  “Need any help?”

  “No, I’m good. Thank you.”

  Diana gathered her water, pack, helmet, and sunglasses. She went to talk with Annie, Diego, and J.T. about routes while Asher helped the blonde woman and a sullen-looking kid who was about thirteen.

  “Diana, this is Rebecca,” Asher said, motioning to the fair-haired, blue-eyed woman. “And that frowning face over there is Joseph.”

  Joseph rolled his eyes but lifted his hanging head long enough to say hello to Diana before pulling out his phone.

  “Put your phone away,” Rebecca barked at Joseph. “We talked about this.”

  “It’s just for a second,” he whined.

  “Joseph! How many times have we talked about your phone?”

  Joseph ignored her. Diana wanted to intervene, but it wasn’t her place. When Rebecca offered up one last nag, to which Joseph paid no attention, Asher casually walked over and snatched the kid’s phone from his hands. Joseph scowled, reaching for his phone, but Asher shook his head, holding it out of reach. “It’s time to ride, dude. Get your helmet on. If you ride well, you’ll get this back at lunch.”

  To Diana’s surprise, Joseph didn’t argue.

  After they chose their route, they set off on one of the trails. Diana got up front and the others followed, and soon they were huffing and puffing their way up the steep switchbacks, the pinion pines and juniper trees giving off the delicious scent that Diana had grown up with. The first part of the ride was always the toughest. In Colorado, there were few meandering hills or gentle ups and downs. Trails usually started steep and continued steep, and it took the lungs and legs a while to adjust.

  But soon, they cruised the trails at a nice pace, passing a few other bikers walking their bikes up the steepest part. Once they got high enough, the pinions and junipers turned to taller pines. The sun peeked out from behind a thin layer of morning clouds, and Diana felt the week’s stresses begin to drift away.

  Once she reached an intersection, she pulled aside to wait for the others. Annie and Diego were right behind her. J.T. came soon after. The view up there was amazing. They could see the entire valley and the flat-topped mountains in the distance. To her surprise, Rebecca emerged from around a rock a few minutes later, looking winded but okay.

  “Nice job,” Annie told her.

  “These hills are a bear!” Rebecca said, trying to catch her breath. “Ash said we could keep going if we want. Joseph is out of shape. I try to get him out riding, but he’d rather play video games.”

  “Sometimes you have to make them go,” Annie said.

  “I know. I just… it’s hard. His father doesn’t bike or pay any attention to him.” She shook her head. “It’s a constant battle.”

  “Don’t worry,” Diego said. “Ash’ll whip him into shape.”

  “That was so sweet of him to invite us,” Rebecca said. “Thank you for letting us join you.”

  So Rebecca wasn’t Asher’s date. Joseph was. Diana’s heart melted a little at the thought of Asher helping out someone else’s kid, offering him tutelage when his own father couldn’t be bothered. Finally, they heard heavy breathing. Joseph, struggling away up the last stretch of hill, in his lowest gear, looking like he was about to croak.

  “You got it, dude,” Asher said, cruising behind him, not even breaking a sweat. “Last stretch.”

  When they finally reached the rest of them, Joseph sucked on his water, choking on it as he tried to catch his breath. Everyone cheered him on and slapped him on the back, and the kid finally managed a smile.

  “Turn around,” Asher told him. Joseph did, beholding the view. “Look how high you climbed.” Asher dug out a phone from his pocket and handed it to Joseph. “Take some pictures and impress your friends later.”

  The others giggled and Joseph took his pictures, handing back his phone without being asked. Asher took a photo of Joseph next to his bike before stowing the phone away. He pulled out another phone and handed it to Joseph. “Take one of us, will you?”

  The five of them gathered, and Ash came over to Diana’s side, putting his arm around her. She smiled as Joseph took the picture, trying to ignore the effect of Asher standing near her. Then they were off again.

  Later, when they began heading downhill, Diana heard Asher telling Joseph which gear to be in and how to handle the brakes to avoid launching over the handlebars and getting tossed to the ground. When they finished the trail loop, they rode back to camp for lunch. Joseph grabbed his sandwich and went off to play on the phone Asher returned to him, as promised. The rest of them gathered at the picnic table to eat. Diana couldn’t help but feel
glad when Asher took a seat next to her.

  “How was your week?” he asked her, taking a bite of his sandwich.

  “It was… stressful. I had to file a mandatory report on a kid at school.”

  Asher stared at her. “He’s being abused?”

  She nodded and told him about Harrington’s bruises and excuses.

  Asher’s eyes darkened. “I know violence isn’t the answer to violence, but that kind of thing makes me want to go find that kid’s dad and pound the shit out of him.”

  “Exactly!” she cried. “That report will lead to an investigation, and his father will know exactly who filed it. I’ll probably get shit for it, but I don’t care. That asshole hates me because he’s one of those bully types and he knows I’m onto him.”

  Asher nodded in approval. “Good for you. Never back down from a bully. And if that dick ever threatens you, call me and I’ll drive over and put the fucking fear into him.”

  Diana stared at Asher, seeing his clenched jaw. He wasn’t kidding or talking trash, and Diana had no doubt Asher would make good on that promise. For the first time, she saw more than the charmer, and more than the fun guy who liked kids. She saw a man who cared about what was right. Unlike, say, Matthew, who tried to sweep it under the carpet and say “that’s how things are.”

  Asher stared at her too, like he recognized her appreciation. Suddenly, he seemed so close to her. When she reached for her soda, Asher did the same, causing them to bump hands. Diana yanked hers back, the jolt of that tiny bit of contact spreading through her body. Instead of teasing her or making a flirty comment, Asher uttered a quick “sorry” and something about being a leftie as he retracted his own hand. Fortunately, Annie brought up where they would ride that afternoon. Diana, grateful for the interruption, suggested another trail about a mile’s ride from the campground.

  After lunch, Diana, Asher, Annie, Diego, and J.T. took off for their ride. Rebecca and Joseph, tired from their morning efforts, opted for a short hike instead. Diego took the lead this time while Asher insisted on bringing up the rear. The thought of Asher possibly staring at her ass made her nervous. Yet, the thought of knowing he was behind her, just in case anything happened, made her feel safe.

  They rode through a rocky canyon, up a forested trail, and around and back again, taking the occasional break to talk, rest, and admire the views. Once they started heading back down, Diana remembered she would have to go home soon. It filled her with dread. She didn’t want to go home. She wanted to stay and cook over the campfire and roast marshmallows and drink beer with her new friends, and then wake up tomorrow and do it all again.

  But she couldn’t. She’d promised Matthew she’d only stay for the day, and a promise was a promise. Plus, Matthew would be happy to see her after spending the whole day alone. Who knows, maybe she would get some sexual satisfaction that didn’t include Mr. Rabbit.

  They got back to the campground just as the sun began to sink in the western sky. Diana put on her fleece jacket and stuck around to chat for as long as she could. When the sun set and the streaks of clouds turned pink, everyone quieted to admire the sky. That’s what Diana loved about finding good people to ride with—they appreciated everything, and how great it was to be outside.

  However, unable to delay her departure any more and still get back by the promised time, Diana finally stood up. She said goodbye to everyone, apologizing for having to leave and thanking them for including her.

  “Will we see you in Red Rim soon?” Annie said.

  Diana smiled. “Definitely. I have to get in all I can before winter comes.”

  Asher stood. “I’ll help you with your bike.”

  Diana didn’t need help, but she didn’t argue. She was glad for a chance to say goodbye to him without everyone staring at them. After Asher secured her bike to its rack, he turned to face her. Diana looked up at him, and his golden brown eyes watched her, their expression indecipherable.

  “It was good to see you, Venus,” he said.

  “You too, Ash.”

  When Asher spread his arms wide for a hug, Diana smiled and met him halfway, putting her arms around his taut, muscular body and inhaling his masculine scent. A man who appreciated hugs as much as she did! However, unlike before, Diana felt a nearly unquenchable need to hang on, to feel his arms around her and feel his body next to hers and fully immerse herself in the embrace. Holy shit, he felt good.

  Asher pulled away that time, backing up slightly, just a hint of a wrinkle between his eyes. Embarrassment flooded her. Her need for him had shown. She’d clung a little too long, and he felt it. And she’d made him uncomfortable. She’d made the king of confidence uncomfortable.

  She forced a smile. “Have a great time tomorrow. I’m sorry I have to leave.”

  “Sorry you have to miss it.” Although his voice sounded neutral, his eyes told a different story. He gazed down at her intensely for just a moment until he opened her car door for her. “Drive safe.”

  Diana drove off, waving to everyone. And as she headed east again, she could not stop thinking about Asher. The authoritative way he’d handled Joseph. The passion with which he’d reacted to her sharing about Harrington. And the feel of him against her.

  What the hell was wrong with her? Why did he have this effect on her? She had a boyfriend she loved, with whom she had a real future, and here she was lusting after a hot mountain biker who didn’t even want commitment or a family!

  More thoughts invaded. Asher hugging her and how good he smelled. Asher kissing her, his strong hands buried in her hair. Asher stripped down to nothing but that bronzed body and those tattoos. All of it sent a flurry of butterflies through her stomach.

  Stop! What the hell?

  Okay, she was horny. That had to be it. Matthew still struggled, and let’s face it, Mr. Rabbit, when she let herself indulge in that guilty pleasure, was no substitute for the real thing. Not even close. And truth be told, sex with Matthew had never been super passionate, and there were times when she wished he would just throw her onto his bed and screw her until she could no longer think.

  She sighed, pushing away those thoughts. One thing at a time. Matthew had finally taken her advice and gotten help. That would change everything for them. Until it did, she would have to deal.

  And try not to think about Asher.

  Chapter Seven

  Diana woke up just after six in the morning, pain coursing through her.

  It felt like someone had taken clamps and pinched her uterus, ovaries, and bowel, unclamped them, and then clamped them again one at a time. But it was Friday and she needed to go to work. She tried to get up to take a hot shower, but the pain only got worse until she sank back onto her sheets and curled up into a ball.

  She grimaced as another round of pain pummeled her. It was a new pain, one she’d never experienced before. It burned a little higher up on her left side, and the pain spasmed and pulsed through her.

  She tried to call Matthew, but his phone went straight to voicemail. He was probably out in the field, and he didn’t like to be interrupted at work unless it was an emergency. Finally, Diana called in sick to work. Lena, the front office secretary, knew Diana’s situation and told her to feel better.

  An hour later, when the pain had her doubled over, Diana called her ob-gyn’s office. Fortunately, they had a cancellation and could fit her in. Otherwise, she’d have had no choice but to visit the emergency room.

  “Can someone drive you?” the receptionist said.

  “No. I’ll make it.”

  Diana grimaced as she got up, wondering how she was going to drive across town without collapsing in pain. But a surge of adrenaline fueled her as she got into her Jeep and headed to the doctor’s office. She limped inside and they took her in immediately. After taking her information and having her disrobe, Dr. Galvin came in and sat down.

  “What’s happening, Diana?”

  “It’s worse than usual. Something isn’t right.”

  The doctor trie
d to examine her manually, but the pain was still too intense. They gave her pain meds and set her up for an ultrasound. By the time they began scanning her, the pain had dulled a little and Diana was loopy from whatever they’d given her.

  “Well,” the ultrasound tech said, “I think I’ve found the source of your new pain.”

  “What is it?” Diana said.

  “You have a cyst on your left ovary, and it’s hemorrhaging.”

  “What does that mean for me?”

  “Dr. Galvin can talk to you about that. It’s not as bad as it sounds, but it can cause significant pain.”

  A few minutes later, Dr. Galvin came in. “You have an ovarian cyst, Diana. It’s seven centimeters in diameter—”

  “Seven centimeters?” she cried.

  Dr. Galvin nodded. “There are different kinds of ovarian cysts. Yours looks like an endometrioma, also known as a chocolate cyst. They’re not uncommon in women with endometriosis. Unfortunately, unlike the more common follicular cysts, endometriomas don’t go away on their own.”

  Diana sighed. She’d heard about chocolate cysts on her endo forum. “What happens now?”

  “You need surgery. To avoid a hysterectomy, which I know you don’t want, we need to go in and remove that cyst and clean up the endometriosis.”

  Diana scowled. Another surgery. “What if it comes back?”

  Dr. Galvin pressed her lips together. “There’s a chance it will. At your age, our goal is to maintain fertility. Once you’ve had children, then we can consider more permanent options. For now, the leakage should stop and the pain will subside. You need to go home and rest. I’ll give you a prescription for birth control pills, which will help control your estrogen levels.”

  It sounded so simple, but Diana knew the truth. Every time she had surgery, it chipped away at her reproductive system and made it harder for her to get pregnant someday. On the other hand, surgery would clean up the endo that had likely spread through her abdominal cavity again, which could create a window of potential fertility. Plus, pregnancy often helped with endometriosis.