Defiance (Rise of the Iliri Book 3)

by Auryn Hadley

  The grauori nodded, Jase's words lagging behind the Kings slightly. Dom kept going. "I had hoped to keep your skills, like the ability to heal, a secret. While my army has learned to respect Hwa and Aroora over the last few months, I still worry that humans will react like the Terrans have, and either fear you or try to make you slaves for their own means. Your people are too beautiful, too wild for that. Today, you showed Anglia that your skills are more than just fighting, and you likely saved hundreds of human lives doing it. I owe you all a debt for that, and I don't know how I will repay it."

  Orassae Rragri stepped forward. From the set of her body, Sal knew that she spoke for the people, not just herself. She sent a quick thought to Jase, and he whispered that to the King. Dominik nodded, as Kaisae Rragri raised her voice so everyone could hear. She spoke in her own language.

  "Blending our packs can wait, Kaisor. The humans have pushed us too far, and only the green men have shown potential to be good. As Kaisae Sal has demonstrated, hiding does little good. But standing up and hunting together as a pack – as a people – we can all live the way we want. We will go with your army, and we will hunt these purple humans, and we will accept your advice, but we will look to the iliri Kaisae, her Ahnor, and her Kaisor for guidance in battle. Humans have killed us for too long. We will not trust you blindly, but we will try to trust you some."

  "She means Sal, me, and LT," Jase whispered to the King.

  Dom nodded. "I think we can all agree to that, for the humans will do the same. Kaisae Sal has made us learn much this winter."

  Rragri's tongue lolled from the side of her mouth in a smile. "Good. Then let us all rest and meet our new neighbors. Tomorrow we will deal with the rest of the humans, then you will return to your den with walls. I will come to you there, and we shall make plans. Maybe, we can make friends while we are at it."

  They all nodded, the motion universal between the three species. "Then let us celebrate a good hunt and mourn those who were lost. Laetus, Orassae," Sal said, bowing her head to Rragri.

  "Laetus, Orassae," the Blades whispered behind her, and Dom added his own a breath later.

  "Laetus friends, for you are too mixed of a group for any single word," Rragri said, turning and blending into the mass of grauori around her.

  Blaec stepped to Sal's ear and whispered softly, "I leave you alone for a few months, and you change the world. Damn, Sal, you're getting pretty good."

  Chapter 32

  Blaec stepped seamlessly into a role with the King, assisting Sal with organizing burial units and allowing her to slip amongst her men to offer condolences for those lost. As the sun began to sink in the sky, she made her way to the next group of soldiers. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily, wishing she could cry like the humans did. She'd listened to too many stories of young lives cut short by the Emperor's greed. Some she'd known, others were faceless names in her head, but all of them had died because she ordered them to. Sal had to do this. She knew the soldiers wanted her to hear about their friends, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take. As she walked, her men whispered the words of respect, each utterance adding to the burden she carried. There was no easy way to lighten it.

  "Sal," Blaec said behind her, jogging to catch up, but she didn't hear him. Her mind was lost in her thoughts.

  He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her around to face him. Her hand went to her knife automatically before she looked to his face. Around them, the sound of swords being pulled filled the air. Dozens of Anglian soldiers stood, their weapons drawn.

  Blaec looked into Sal's eyes and smiled. "That's not something I'm used to. Has to feel pretty nice, for once." His hand rested lightly on her shoulder.

  She dropped her eyes and waved her soldiers down. "It's ok, men, he's a Blade," she explained, and they stepped back. Most put their weapons away. "And yes, Blaec, it really does. These are good men. Some of the best I've ever met," she said, gesturing at the soldiers watching. Many smiled at the compliment.

  "Yeah, but you can't take much more of this, love," Blaec told her. "You don't have to do it all in one day, you know. Your Colonel is making the rounds, too. Sal, let him. Come back with us and see the pups."

  "I can't. Do you know how many men I lost today?"

  He lifted his hand to cup the side of her face. "No. They're still counting, but it doesn't matter right now. You can't bring them back, sweetness. You also can't do it all yourself. Your men know that." He looked to the side at a group of soldiers. "I'm pretty sure they don't blame you. You did everything possible to keep them alive. It's Terric that killed them. Never forget that."

  "I won't."

  "Good. Then come see your kids. Cyno's been catching us up on everything that happened since Unav."

  She nodded and let him guide her through the camp. Eyes looked up as they passed. As men uttered their respect to her, Blaec smiled at her proudly. Unlike the Conglomerate army, none of the Anglians sneered or spit at either of them. The hate and fear simply didn't exist.

  "You've done something I never could," he told her, his arm around her shoulders. "You made the humans love and respect us."

  She shrugged. "They didn't have the same bias to overcome here. They barely knew of iliri, and they didn't have generations of feeling superior to let go of."

  "Yeah, but you didn't let them fear you either. You could have, you know. You could have shown them their inferiority and made them hate us for that, but you didn't."

  She bit at her lips and looked up at him, his pale green eyes meeting hers easily. He paused, then pulled her to him. One hand reached up to caress her pallid cheek. "Sal, what happened to the maast?"

  "It's the grauori. They pulled me into the whole." She tried to find words to make him understand. "Blaec, it's like what we do – opening ourselves to each other – but so much more. There are thousands of them. Blending with them? It's like being just a single grain of sand on a beach. I could feel the waves. I could feel the maast across us all, but it was too big for it to take me alone. The more it built, the faster they burned it off, devouring it for me. I miss it, though."

  His head tilted slightly as he listened. "After the fight, it's not much fun without it. I've always envied you both a bit for that. You don't have to cope with the fear and disgust of what you've done, you just accept what you are. I never could. Maybe that's why you need him so much."

  Sal glanced away at the mention of Jase. "I don't know what I'm doing tonight, Blaec. I don't know what I'm doing with you and him."

  "I know, love, and it's ok. I've been sleeping alone for months, I think I can handle a bit more." He ducked his head to peer into her downcast eyes and watched her lip twitch in amusement. "I've been where you are, little one. I didn't have as many men, but I know what you're feeling. Mourning is allowed. You don't owe me your attention just because I showed up. Just come see the pups and be with your pack. Figure things out between Cyno and me whenever you want to."

  "Why?"

  His head twitched slightly in confusion. "Why what?"

  "Why are you ok with this? Why are you being so understanding? What about back..." She stopped before she could dig this hole too deep.

  But Blaec just chuckled. "When I told you to be human?" He pulled her closer and dropped an arm over her shoulder. "Lemme tell you a secret, Sal. Hindsight is a great thing. See, I kept having these annoying visions of some woman taking over my unit and turning them into a bunch of beasts. I was going to be so love struck by her that I wouldn't stop it, and we'd wade headlong into battle."

  "Uh..." Wasn't that basically what they were doing.

  He nodded, not even needing her to finish the thought. "For a decade, we hadn't seen a Kaisae, then you showed up and told me I was doing it all wrong. I thought you were going to get us killed. I was sure that if you ever figured out what you can do, then we'd be the ones to suffer for it, but I was wrong. My visions show me all the options, all at once. You could have made so many mistakes, but you didn
't. I did. Somehow, we still ended up here." He leaned closer to her ear. "And the Emperor's scared, love."

  Without letting go, he led her into the camp. Sal found herself actually smiling as she greeted her family. Razor passed Raast to her, and she sat by the fire to meet her newest packmate. The little nacione grabbed her hand and pulled it to her face, gnawing on it with her gums.

  "Are Hwa and Roo still indisposed?" she asked.

  "Yeah," Zep answered, "but we got some mare's milk into them. They seemed to like it well enough, even if Rhyx did growl the whole time."

  Sal smiled at the bundle in her lap, brushing the pup's face with her finger, "Sounds like Rhyx is a born fighter. What about you, Raast? What will you be when you grow up?" she cooed.

  "Is it true?" Shift asked, "They'll be nearly mature in just a couple of years?"

  "That's what Roo told me," Sal said. "And so you know, the pack raising the pups is considered a sign of respect to them. Mother and father are different to the grauori from dam and sire. Those who raise them are their fathers, and the more they have, the better." She looked across at the Black Blades, "So, I guess congratulations Daddies."

  The men laughed. Zep grabbed a bottle, took a long swig, then passed it to the man beside him. They celebrated, and they drank, the pups slowly making the rounds between them. The sound of the Blade's voices was so comfortable after months without them, and Sal tried to take it all in. Across from her, Jase sat with his back against their tent. His eyes reflected the light of their fire as he watched her. He kept his face blank, no sign of emotion on it, and it pulled at her heart.

  She looked over and saw Blaec sitting beside the fire, his eyes also on her. Sal looked between her men, realizing that she could no longer put off a decision. It wasn't fair to them to make them wait and wonder where they fit in, but the problem was that she didn't know. Sal missed Blaec's leadership, his guidance, and his strength, but her desires lay with Jase. In their months alone, she'd learned that she needed what Jase offered. He shared his mind with her easily, giving all of himself without a second thought, while Blaec always held himself in reserve. Blaec had felt too much pain to lower his walls to her, no matter how much he trusted her, and he kept his own secrets. Her mind whirled. While Blaec needed her, she needed Jase. He'd become the other half of everything she did. She loved Blaec, but for reasons that were all too human. She loved Jase in a more honest way. Blaec took from her, but Jase gave everything to her.

  Sal stopped thinking about it and listened to her heart. She was iliri, not human, she reminded herself. Her choice had nothing to do with what they wanted. She was Kaisae and, for once, it should be what she wanted that mattered. Closing her eyes, she tried to envision herself with only one of them and only twilight eyes and swirling tattoos fit no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise.

  It wasn't logical, but love wasn't supposed to be. It had taken her a long time to finally figure that out. Sal stood and made her way to her Ahnor, the choice too obvious to ignore. Sitting at Jase's feet, she leaned her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him protectively. This was definitely right.

  "Ya were amazing today, my Kaisae," he whispered into her ear.

  "Then why don't you look happy, killer?"

  He chuckled softly. "Honestly?" She nodded, and he continued. "Cuz I hate sleeping alone."

  Sal reached up and ran her fingers down his neck. "Ok, Ahnor," she whispered, "then why don't you look happy?"

  He rested his head against hers for a moment, saying nothing. When he finally spoke, it was softly. "Are ya sure, kitten? Ya do na have ta do this. I will na leave ya regardless."

  Sal just nodded. He pulled her even closer. Across from them, Blaec watched, a smile teasing his lips. You made the right choice, he whispered into Sal's head.

  Did I? she asked him.

  Yeah, Sal. He's yours, he always has been. You know that. You are mine, but he is yours. I'm not hurt to be your second, love, just don't forget me.

  Jase saw Blaec look away and asked, "Is everything ok?"

  "Yeah, killer, it really is." She turned and looked up into his face. "Blaec's ok with this."

  Jase gently kissed her forehead. "It's Dernor." He chuckled softly, "And the next one, he'll be Taunor."

  Sal laughed and nipped his jaw playfully. "Taunor, huh? You planning on getting me more? I barely have time for the two of you already!"

  Jase just smiled softly. "There'll be more, Sal. It's how our species survives. But why me? Why na him?"

  "Because I can't imagine living without you." She let her head rest on his shoulder. "I can without Blaec. I'd miss him, but I could live without him. Jase..." She looked into his deep blue eyes. "You're a part of me. I've never felt like this with anyone else. I don't have to apologize. I don't have to explain. I can play at being human or allow myself to be who I am, and you always just understand me. Ayati, Jase, it scares me a bit, but I need you so much."

  He pulled her legs across his hip as they sat on the cold ground. Gently, he caressed her face, looking deep into her eyes without flinching. "I'll never leave ya, kitten. I can na."

  "I know. That's why I chose you."

  Around them, the Black Blades celebrated quietly. The pups had long since fallen asleep, held in the arms of Zep and Razor. Both men beamed with pride when they looked into the fuzzy faces, but the teasing was gentle. The hours wore on, the pauses grew longer, but no one was quite ready to sleep. As the night grew colder, the sounds of the army grew softer, making the approaching footsteps hard to miss.

  "Name and rank, soldier," Shift said loud enough to be heard.

  Chapter 33

  "Ilija Vayu, Colonel, sir," came the reply, "and I brought the rest of your pack."

  They all muttered a welcome, but none climbed to their feet. Ilija entered the firelight, carrying a bundle of white fur in his arms, and Hwa trotted along beside him.

  "Mry pups?" Roo asked from Ilija's chest.

  "They're doing great, Roo," Sal told her. "Razor and Zep have them, and they're sleeping. How are you, little one?"

  Ilija set her down, gently holding her as she found her balance. "Alive," she whuffed, sounding exhausted.

  Arctic peeled himself from the ground. "Here," he said, squatting beside her to offer his hand. "I heard this is easier."

  Roo's tongue lolled from her mouth as she smiled at her new packmate. Reaching up with her paw, she grasped his hand for a moment. Their eyes went out of focus, and the Black Blades felt something warm caress their minds.

  I need to feed the pups, Roo said, her voice clear to them all.

  "C'mere, Roo," Zep called over, patting the blankets he sat on. "The ground isn't as cold."

  She staggered over, and Shift quietly followed. When the little bitch lay gently on the blankets, Zep handed her the pup. Roo held it to her chest, the quiet growls telling Sal it was Rhyx that nursed first.

  "Roo," Shift said. "You're better, but you're not all the way better. Can I finish the job?"

  She looked up, her eyes wide. Was that you before?

  He shook his head. "Nah, that was Risk. He does some amazing things, but we all know what it's like. I heal like a grauori. Will you let me?"

  Roo nodded, and Shift held out his hand, waiting for her to take it. Zep shifted closer, bracing Roo while the pup nursed and Shift put her back together.

  "So, you all do it?" Ilija asked, moving beside Sal and Jase.

  She looked up at him. "The healing or the mental conversations?"

  The large man just sighed and sank to the ground beside her. "Tell me if I'm out of line, Kaisae, but you aren't really hiding it. I mean all of it. I figure this is something I should probably know about."

  Jase agreed. "Yeh, prolly so."

  Before Sal could answer, Arctic moved to stand before him, making Ilija look up. Arctic's icy eyes bore into Ilija's brown for a long moment. "LT?"

  Sal, do you trust this man? Blaec asked.

&
nbsp; She nodded. Ilija looked between them, well aware that a conversation was going on that he couldn't hear. With the decision made, Arctic reached out his hand toward Ilija as if offering to shake. The Colonel didn't hesitate to accept.

  "Relax," Arctic said, "and whatever you do, don't fight me. That's me you feel in there, just let it happen."

  Ilija's eyes had gone wide, and his mouth hung open. He nodded, looking at something only he could see. Many of the Blades smiled in sympathy.

  "Can you feel that, Ilija?" Arctic asked.

  "Yeah..." the soldier whispered.

  "Can you grab it? With your mind, grab it, and hold it. Hold it tight. Tell me when you have it."

  "It's slippery," Ilija said.

  "You can hold it, though," Zep called from across the small camp. "Dig your teeth and nails into it, man. You won't hurt it. Hold it like a grauori would."

  Sal had never seen this before. Arctic stood calmly, his posture non-threatening, but he refused to move until Ilija took whatever it was he offered. She watched the human's face snarl like an iliri's as he struggled until, with a whimpered groan, he nodded.

  "You sure?" Arctic asked. "Hold it tightly. You sure you have it?"

  Ilija nodded again, and Arctic smiled. Like sandpaper against the back of her eyes, Sal felt it. Around the camp, men rubbed at their faces, a few of them cringing. Audgan leaned his head between his knees, and Jase took a deep breath – and then the feeling was gone.

  Welcome to the link, Ilija, Arctic said, grinning.

  You can pull humans into a link? Hwa thought.