The Tale of Billy the Bit

by Don Johnson

  “What are those little things doing up there?” asked Billy, pointing at the creatures on the cables.

  “They are ‘Drivers’,” advised Monty. “Components outside the System talk in different languages to us inside, so someone has to translate our words to theirs and vice-versa. That’s what the Drivers do. They carry their translations backwards and forwards in their little bags, so that when a human uses the keys on the keyboard, for example, the Keyboard messages that result can be changed into something that we can understand.”

  “How interesting,” replied Billy, “But the Drivers on the Mouse cable have different clothes to those on the one for the Keyboard. Why is that?”

  “There have to be different Drivers for each,” responded Monty, “Because outside Components all talk different languages to each other. Even one Keyboard might not speak the same language as another, so they all use their own Drivers. They wear different clothes – or uniforms - to identify which Component they work for.”

  Monty then cocked his head to one side, and appeared to be concentrating.

  “Can you hear anything?” he asked Billy.

  “Now that you mention it,” responded Billy, “I can. I think it sounds like music!”

  “Oh! Great!” enthused Monty, “They must be having a party on the Sound Card. If you want, I’ll get the Clock Cycle to stop when we get there, and we can go and take a look.”

  “Oh! Yes please!” responded Billy, for he had never been to a party before, on a ‘Sound Card’ (whatever that was) or anywhere else for that matter. He had already begun to realise that he had led a very quiet existence compared to Monty, but being able to go to a party whenever he felt like it must make even Monty’s life more exciting.

  Monty leaned forward and spoke into the ear of rider in front of him, who nodded and then signalled to his companions that they were going to make an unscheduled stop at the large junction that they were approaching. After they had screeched to a halt, Monty and Billy jumped off the Clock Cycle and made their way to the side of the System Bus. They waved their thanks for their ride as the Clock Cycle accelerated rapidly and disappeared from view, but the riders were all concentrating on their pedalling, and took little notice.

  Turning around, Billy saw that they were standing beside a thin, but very wide and tall building, with a sign on the front that read, ‘Sound Blaster SB16’. The music that they had heard earlier was obviously coming out of open windows several floors above the ground, and it was accompanied by the occasional sound of corks popping from bottles.

  “It seems as though they are having a good time in there,” said Monty, “Let’s join them.”

  Monty made his way to the side of the building, where there was a spiral staircase winding upwards. He started to climb the stairs, followed by the eager Billy, who could not wait to see what was waiting for them up above.

  Chapter 5 Time for some Fun!

  By the time they had reached the fourth floor of the building, Billy was become a little giddy going round-and-round on the spiral stairs, and he was also getting a little puffed. He was glad therefore, when Monty turned away from the stairs, and led Billy through a small door into the building. They walked down a narrow corridor towards another door at the end, which seemed to be where the music was coming from. When Monty opened this door the sound swelled to an almost deafening racket, and Billy had to cover his ears with his hands for a moment, until he became used to the noise. He saw that they were in a very large room, full of what – if they had been human - would probably have been called ‘teenagers’. They were all brightly dressed, and were dancing about in time to the music.

  “These are all Sound Boarders,” shouted Monty above the din, “But they like to be called SB’s. Their job is to take the information about sounds that is stored into the computer, and turn it into signals that work the Speakers that are connected to the system. Sometimes noises help the humans with the tasks they are running on the System, but they also store musical sounds and songs that they like to listen to, for relaxing.”

  Billy thought that the music that they were hearing would be extremely unlikely to help anyone relax, it would be more likely to wake the dead! At the very least it made him want to tap his feet and dance like the others. When he pointed this out to Monty, he was told that this was ‘Pop’ music, which had been stored by one of the younger humans who used the System.

  “You see those big black boxes at the end of the room,” said Monty, “They are parts of the Sound Board that the SB’s have adapted so that they can listen to sounds inside the system. They make copies here of music that they like, and play it on special occasions like this party. They are very clever at that sort of thing, but I suppose they have to be, in order to be able to do their jobs. Changing ones and zeroes into musical sounds is very difficult and complicated work, and it needs young brains. But though they work hard, they do like to play hard as well!”

  Billy noticed that roughly half of the SB’s had short hair and wore trousers just like his own, but the others had long hair, and their legs were covered in brightly-coloured wrap-around material that left their lower legs bare. He was puzzled by this, and asked Monty if were two types of SB’s, in the same way that there were different Drivers like those that they had seen earlier.

  “Oh! No!, Don’t be daft. The ones with long hair are females!” responded Monty, laughing, “But then I suppose that you wouldn’t have seen many of them in the Memory area where you live. Don’t take offence at my laughing, please, but it’s funny to think that you have never seen a female before.”

  Billy was not too upset at being laughed at, because he had noticed that one of the ‘females’ who was dancing nearby, was looking straight at him, and smiling in a very saucy way. It gave him a funny feeling in his tummy, which was not at all unpleasant. Just then, ‘she’ (as Billy later learned was the correct way to refer to females) stopped dancing, and brought her partner over to where Billy and Monty were standing.

  “Hi! Monty,” she said, but looking at Billy, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

  Well, had Billy been around the Sound Board for longer, he would have recognised the question as being from the soundtrack of a thing called a film, where it had been used by a human girl who wanted to get to know the handsome hero. The female SB had obviously noted this so that she could use it herself when the occasion arose, and that appeared to be now! Although Billy knew nothing about all this, he was flattered to be the object of attention of someone who looked so nice, and he nudged Monty to get on with the introductions as quickly as possible.

  “Oh! Sorry!” said Monty, “This is Billy.” Then facing the other way, he said to Billy, “This is Sue, and her brother Sam.” He turned back, “I haven’t seen you two for ages.”

  “You should come and see us more often,” said Sam to Monty, “Not just when we have a party going on!”

  “Well, you know how it is. Work, work, work!” said Monty, “But what’s the occasion for all the festivity?”

  “Some of the Drivers who work with the Keyboard were up there when the human started cleaning it,” said Sam. “They managed to catch quite a lot of the cleaning fluid that was being used, and bring it back into the System. We got some of it from them, and a couple of our clever SB’s were able to extract the alcohol that it contained. It has a slight after-taste, which gives it an unusual flavour, but it does give a punch to our normal drinks. We just had to have a party, because everyone seems to get much happier and more relaxed when they have a little alcohol in their drinks. Here! Try some, and see!”

  Sam moved over to a nearby table where there were some bottles and glasses, passed the glasses around, then pulled the bottle cork out of one of the bottles with a distinct ‘pop’. He poured some greenish liquid from the bottle into the glasses that the others were holding, then gestured to Billy and Monty to drink. Without any hesitation, Mon
ty drank deeply from his glass, then smacked his lips and declared that it was the best batch he had ever tasted. Billy was a little more cautious, and only took a little sip. He found that the taste was a little peculiar, but still quite pleasant. With Sam’s encouragement, he drank more, and felt a warm glow spreading through his body as the alcohol started to have an effect.

  “Don’t drink too much,” warned Monty, “You are not used to it like these SB’s. You will feel fine at first, but too much can make you feel terrible later.”

  Billy promised to be careful, but before he could drink very much more, Sue invited him to come and dance with her. He tried to protest that he did not know how, but was told by all of the others that there were no formal steps, and that he should just move in time to the music. Without too much persuasion, he began to dance with Sue, swaying and moving his feet with the rhythm. Monty and Sam watched for a time, then they wandered off to find other mutual friends.

  After a while, the very noisy music stopped, and a much gentler, slower tune was played. Billy looked around to see what was happening, and noticed that the other dancers were now holding on to each other, and moving in time together, rather than dancing apart as they had before. Sue moved closer, and put her arms around Billy, so he put his around her. At first he was afraid of stepping on her feet, but as she moved even closer, he found it was easy for the pair of them to sway gently to the music, almost moving as one. Billy found the whole experience quite delightful.

  The rest of that evening passed very quickly for Billy, and in between having a few more drinks, he danced with two other females that came to join them with Sam and Monty. He enjoyed the slower dances more than the quicker ones, especially when he danced with Sue. Eventually, the lights were dimmed a little, and what was called ‘The Last Waltz’, was played. Billy found himself dancing with Sue once more, and as the music faded away, she squeezed him tightly, and got him to promise that he would come back to see her again. Most of the other SB’s started to leave, and Sue, Sam and the others went with them. As they all walked away, Sue kept looking back at Billy, and giving little waves of her hand, until they were gone.

  “You seem to have made a quite a conquest there!” said Monty, nudging Billy in the ribs. “Sue obviously likes you a lot.”

  “Well!” blushed Billy, “She did seem to be rather nice, and I did enjoy dancing with her.”

  “I’ll bet!” responded Monty, then went on to say, “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired out! I think that we should find somewhere to have some sleep before we continue on our journey. It wouldn’t be a good idea to nod off whilst riding on the back of a Clock Cycle, that could lead to a nasty accident!”

  Billy agreed, so the two of them walked back to the corridor, and wandered along – a trifle unsteadily, it must be said – opening doors and peering into rooms until they found one that looked as though it was where the SB’s took their drinks breaks. As well as some tables and chairs, there were several comfortable looking sofas in the room. They looked very inviting to the two tired friends, so, selecting one each, they gratefully sank into the soft cushions, and lay down to rest.

  “Thanksh – Sorry . . . thanks!” said Billy, whose tongue seemed to have already started to go to sleep on its own for some reason, “That was a very nice party, Monty.” He yawned, and in a very drowsy voice, said, “It was good of you to take me along. I did so enjoy dancing with Sue and the . . . . “ – his words trailed off to a mumble.

  There was no response from Monty, other than a gentle snoring noise. The pair of tired travellers gradually fell into the very deep sleep that comes after lots of exercise and several glasses of alcohol.

  Chapter 6 A room with a view

  When Billy awoke, as he opened eyes, it felt as though someone was shining a bright light into them, so he closed them again quickly. He tried again, more slowly, and realised that the light level was normal, but his eyes were very sensitive. Also, his head felt as though it was too full, as though he had two brains inside instead of one!

  “Oooohhh!” he groaned, sitting up rather slowly since he felt as though he might fall apart otherwise. “My head!”

  Monty was already awake, and was looking at Billy with an amused smile.

  “I told you not to have too much of those alcoholic drinks,” said Monty, “You are not used to them. But don’t worry, you will feel better when we get outside, into the fresh air.”

  Billy doubted that he would ever feel better, but nevertheless he followed Monty out of the room, and down the corridor back to the spiral staircase. If he had felt giddy on the way up, he felt a thousand times worse on the way down, and stumbled down the stairs whilst vowing never to drink alcohol again, ever! Eventually, they reached the bottom of the stairs, and Billy pleaded with Monty to let him rest for a moment, to get his head to stop spinning. Monty agreed, and told Billy to stay where he was for a few moments.

  Suddenly, Billy felt cold water being poured over his head, and he gasped and spluttered at the shock. Monty was standing over him with a, now empty, bottle in his hand.

  “I found some water in the cooling system for the Sound Board,” he said, “That should make your head clear.” Would you like me to get some more?”

  “That’s quite enough,” said Billy firmly, feeling a little angry at being soaked. However, after a few moments he discovered that, surprisingly, the water had achieved the desired effect. His head started to feel more normal, and his eyes not hurt very much at all.

  “Well, I suppose I should thank you,” said Billy, “But that was a bit of a shock.”

  “Works every time!” declared Monty, confidently, “No need for thanks. You’ll be fine in a minute. I’m more careful now about drinking alcohol, than in my younger days. I remember once . . . . but I’d better not talk about that now, we should be getting on.”

 

  They walked back to the side of the System Bus, and Monty got out his IRQ again. They had to wait for quite a time before a Clock Cycle to appear, so that it could be flagged down. (Although the time seemed quite long to Monty and Billy, it would have seemed to be less than a thousandth of a blink of an eye to a human, for those who inhabit the insides computers live their lives at a much, much faster rate. This is why they can perform their tasks so quickly, giving answers almost before a question has been completed.) When the Cycle stopped, Monty got the same look of interest as before from the riders when he said that they wanted to go to the CPU, but no other comment. They took up their positions on the boxes at the rear of the Cycle, then the machine accelerated away at the usual furious pace.

  As the air rushed past his face, Billy began to feel a lot, lot better! His thoughts turned to Sue, and the hope that he would see her again. That started a train of thought that led to his impending interview with the CPU, and he wondered what his punishment would be, and whether he would ever be allowed to go anywhere again. Not being the sort of Bit who dwelt too much about things not in his control, however, Billy soon stopped worrying, and concentrated on looking at the different objects that they were passing. There were lots of blocks of all shapes and sizes alongside the track, and Billy could not even start to guess what they were for. However, when they started to approach another very large building, similar to the Sound Board, Billy’s curiosity forced him to call across to Monty to ask if it were another, and why there were two.

  “No!” responded Monty, “That is the Graphic or Video Card. Where visual information is processed and sent up that cable to the monitor,” he added, pointing to a very thick cable rising out of the top of the building. I suppose that you’d like to take a look inside. Well, we are already late, so I guess that a little bit more delay won’t hurt.”

  After they had asked the rider with the armband to stop, and had jumped down off the Cycle, they heard him muttering as he moved off.

  “Stupid Mail Messenger! Can’t make up his mind where he wants
to go! Good job we don’t see them too often, we’d never get our normal work done!”

  Monty gave no reaction to the comment that they had heard, just led the way to the door at the centre of the front of the building, and knocked on it.

  “The Video Processors who work here are more formal than the Sound Boarders,” he advised, “So it’s best to wait to be invited in. They don’t like anyone wandering around unescorted in case they accidentally muck up their precious data. Very, very, particular are the VP’s, for they think that they have a major role in presenting information to humans. Because of this, some of the Sound Boarders say that the VP’s think that they are V-I-P’s, or ‘Very Important Processors’, but that’s just their fun. Anyway, be careful to treat them with respect.”

  Just then the door opened, and they were greeted by one of the VP’s. He was dressed in a very smart pinstripe suit that had a matching waistcoat, and a handkerchief neatly showing in the top pocket of the jacket. Monty explained that they would like to take a look around, but the VP did not seem too willing to let them come in. It was not until Monty mentioned that they were on their way to see the CPU that the VP’s attitude changed, and they were then made to feel most welcome.