"I'm sorry."
"She wasn't a great mother, but at least I thought she died an honorable death."
Ronan took a sip, refilled the glass and handed it back to Anna. "It sucks that she killed herself, but it doesn't have anything to do with you.
She took a long drink and coughed against the burn. "You're wrong. It has everything to do with me. She died to get away from me."
He rubbed his chest, and his battle marks rippled as he moved. He had an amazing chest. Lean muscles, taut skin, and hard abs. "That's crazy. Why would she do that?"
"So she didn't have to remember."
"Remember?"
"That she was raped."
Dark eyes widened slightly. "Bloody hell. You..."
"That's where I came from. My mother was raped."
"Damn. That explains a lot."
Anna took another drink. It didn't burn as much now. "Like?"
"Like why I never see you with a man. Other than warriors. You're beautiful." He ran an appraising eye over her. "More than beautiful. Men turn into idiots around you. But you're not interested."
"Would you be if you were me? A man caused this mess," she said, waving her hand toward herself.
"Your mother kept you," Ronan said. "She must have loved you."
"She tried, but she couldn't forget. I saw it in her eyes when she didn't know I was watching. She stayed away as much as she could. Preferred to spend her time fighting demons. I never understood why until I was a teen and I decided to find out about my father. I always thought he was a warrior who'd died. My mother wouldn't talk about it. She was upset that I was trying to find out, and I overheard her telling one of her friends. That's how I found out that I was a mistake. Worse than a mistake. No one wanted me."
Ronan draped his arm around her. It was warm. Comforting and sexy. And it was attached to a sexy muscular chest, hips and legs. Anna didn't often get involved with men, but she appreciated their beauty as she appreciated all beautiful things.
"You can't say that now. The clan loves you. Coira and Sean love you. We all love you. Every male who sees you wants to love you."
She looked up at his sexy jaw and perfect lips. "Every male?" she asked, lifting a brow.
He shrugged, and the muscles in his shoulders bunched in a most fascinating way. "Aye, even I've had my fantasies about the gorgeous Anna." He grinned and a wave of warmth rushed over her, similar to the rush she got after a battle, after facing death and ugliness. There was a need to escape, to find some beauty. Ronan was about as beautiful as a male could get.
His arm was still around her shoulder and she could smell his skin. Masculine with a hint of whatever he'd showered with. "You're a little drunk," she said. "I've never seen you drunk. I know what you're running from. Cam's death wasn't your fault."
Ronan reached for the glass and took another drink, but he still didn't move his arm, and she still didn't move away. "Neither was your mother being raped your fault. I guess we both have ghosts we're running from. It helps sometimes to forget."
"How? Sex?"
He raised a brow. "I was thinking this," he said, holding up the glass. "But the other works too." He gave her a look that made her go hot all over. "I'm game if you are."
A sweaty, satisfied hour later, after Ronan had fallen asleep next to her, Anna looked at his stunning face and naked body next to her and wondered what the hell they'd been thinking. Her of all people? If she'd been in his room, she would have sneaked out. Maybe she could wake him and ask him to leave. Ronan put his arm over her stomach just as the door opened and Angus stepped in.
CHAPTER SIX
Angus returned to his room after taking a long walk to clear his head. The visit with Walter had been perplexing. The watcher's mention of the white-haired woman and man with emerald eyes had surprised Angus. He'd also dreamed of a woman with white hair and emerald eyes. Many times. What the hell did that mean?
What troubled him most was the secret he'd uncovered in the archive room. Should he tell Anna now or wait until she got back from Germany? He sat at the table and opened the box. He moved her mother's death certificate and pulled out the letter underneath. This one was written by Nigel Ellwood, the watcher who had vanished, to the Chief Elder almost two centuries ago. Now Angus knew why Ian and Tavis hadn't known who to trust.
I know it must come as a shock to discover that I am alive after all this time, but I regret that the ruse was necessary. The secret society that was formed to look into matters concerning threats against the Book of Battles and the clan felt this was the only way we could protect both. It is our belief that the Keeper has been selling the names of warriors to demons. Warriors are not easily killed, but you will recall the unusual number of warriors who died recently. Not in battle, as one might expect, but by accidents.
You may or may not know by now that the Book of Battles is missing. I removed the book from its hiding place while the Keeper was away. The society and I felt that it was the only thing that could be done to ensure the book, 's safety. If the Keeper is not guilty of selling our secrets, he is at least guilty of neglect. As of my latest correspondence with the society, they informed me that the Keeper had not yet reported to the Council that the book was missing.
This brings me to my present concerns. I have not heard from the society in many months now. Our plan was that they would send me coded messages as to what they had discovered within the clan, and I would in return give them updates on the progress of the construction of the second castle. This is why I am writing to you, Chief Elder. I fear something has happened to the society.
Nigel listed several names here. Angus grabbed another piece of paper, this one a list of the deaths of Watchers over the past two hundred years. The names were all there. The members of Nigel's secret society. All dead within months of each other. Bloody hell. Angus turned back to Nigel's letter.
I don't know where else to turn. I beseech you to send warriors to carry the book back to Scotland. I have seen several demons in the area. Four of them were ancient demons, members of the League of Demons. I have hidden the book as best I could, but though the castle is isolated, it cannot be disguised. Work still continues on it, and the townsfolk know of its location. I must get the book away from here. Please send help as quickly as you can. And in the best interest of all concerned, do not tell the Keeper.
Regards,
Nigel Ellwood
Angus looked up from the papers. He wouldn't tell Anna about her mother, not yet, but she would want to see this. He left his bedroom and walked to hers. He paused outside her door wondering if she was sleeping, and briefly thought about what she might be wearing. Or not wearing.
He grimaced and lifted a hand, using their secret knock. He heard a voice inside and assumed she had told him to come in. He opened the door and saw her in bed. She wasn't alone. Ronan was next to her, and they were both naked. Anna looked up as Ronan woke. Angus didn't know who was more shocked. Him, Anna or Ronan.
"Bloody bastard." Angus strode toward the bed. Ronan frowned and jumped up. He was naked, all right. Before Ronan could move, Angus planted his fist against Ronan's chin. Ronan stepped aside but the blow caught his jaw.
"What the hell?" Ronan scowled and lifted his hands to defend himself. "What're you doing?"
"You slept with her."
Ronan looked at Anna, who was still in the bed, holding the covers to her chest. She looked like she'd stepped into someone's nightmare and wasn't sure how to get out. "What do you care?" Ronan asked. "I thought you were just friends."
Angus looked from Ronan to Anna, her beautiful face so surprised, hair messy from sleep...and the other things she'd done besides sleeping. It was his fault. He turned around and walked out. He didn't go to his room, but left the castle. He kept walking until he ended up at one of the cottages on the boundary of the castle grounds where warriors took turns standing guard. Brodie was on duty tonight.
"You come to keep me company?" Brodie asked.
"No. I'll
take your shift."
Brodie perked up. "You sure?"
Aye.
"You're barmy, but I'll accept the offer. Thanks." Brodie turned back after he'd started to walk away. "You all right?"
"I need to think. Don't tell anyone you saw me."
Brodie frowned. "You got it."
When morning came, along with his replacement, he went back to the castle because he didn't know where else to go. As he walked past Anna's door, his heart cracked inside his chest. He went inside his room and lay fully clothed on the bed, staring at the ceiling as he thought about the same damned thing he'd been thinking about all night. He should have told her how he felt.
She tapped on his door half an hour later, but he didn't answer. He couldn't bear to look at her now and see Ronan all over her. Ronan came a few minutes after that, but Angus didn't answer him either. He was still lying there staring at the ceiling when the door to the secret passage opened and Ronan stepped in.
Angus jumped up and faced the other warrior. "You've got the wrong bedroom. Anna's next door."
Ronan closed the door, walked over to a chair and dropped into it. His expression was dark. "Don't hit me again. I might hit you back."
"What the hell do you want?"
"This is your own damned fault," Ronan said. "I didn't know how you felt about her. I thought you were just friends."
Angus didn't know what to say. He hadn't known how he felt until he saw them together. Liar. He had known. He'd just hidden from the truth. "We are friends."
Ronan rubbed his jaw. "That's not why you hit me."
"I don't want to see her get hurt."
"Bullshit. I saw your face. You're in love with her."
Angus didn't answer.
"If I'd known, I would never have done it."
Angus felt his heart cracking again. "It takes two."
Ronan looked down at his feet. "She wasn't herself. She was upset. I was upset. We had a few drinks..."
"You took advantage of her."
"No. We took advantage of each other." Ronan held up a hand. "Hell. I'm sorry, Angus, but why haven't you told her how you feel? She's amazing—" He scowled. "You can get that pissed look off your face. You know what I mean. She's a good warrior, a great warrior, a great person. The two of you are so close you're practically married already."
Then why the hell had Ronan slept with her? Ronan was right. It was his own damned fault. He should have told her. Angus sat down on the edge of the other bed, one that wasn't covered in papers. "I didn't know how.. .strongly I felt until I saw you together. And you know how she is about men?" His frown deepened. "Or was."
"It was a one-time thing. I won't let it happen again."
"You'd better not."
Ronan frowned at the challenge and then sighed. "She won't let it either. She bolted like a rabbit. I thought she might have come here."
"She knocked," Angus said. "I didn't answer."
Ronan stood. "You need to talk to her. She's upset."
"Why?"
"She found out her mother committed suicide."
"She found out?"
"You knew? I'd leave that part out if I were you."
"I just found out," Angus said. And if his suspicions were right, and they usually were, it got even worse. But he wouldn't say anything until he was sure. Maybe not even then.
"Talk to her," Ronan said again. "She's leaving later today."
But he didn't have a chance. The Council called him in to tell him they were sending him to New York. Anna was gone when he got out of the meeting.
While she was in Germany, he visited Walter frequently. The more he learned, the more disturbed he became. By the time Anna returned and Angus was getting ready to leave, he was almost certain he knew who Anna's father was.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Angus looked at the luggage on his bed. He should be excited that the Council was sending him to look for the key to Faelan's time vault. He'd been there before on his own, but this was his first officially sanctioned visit. Instead of excited, he felt lonely. He hadn't seen Anna. She hadn't called. He'd started to call her a dozen times, but always talked himself out of it.
He'd messed things up good. He picked up his bag and opened the door.
Anna stood there in her low-riding jeans and old T-shirt. Her dark hair was braided and her cheeks flushed. "I was afraid I'd missed you.
"I was just leaving," he said. "How was Germany?"
"Sweaty and tiring. I hate killing minions."
"Did you find out what they're up to?" They were avoiding the subject on their minds.
"Not enough." Anna bit her lips. "Angus...we need to talk."
He nodded. "You want to come in?"
Anna stepped inside, but she didn't sit. Neither did he.
He set his luggage down. "I shouldn't have hit him."
"Ronan? He'll live. But why did you do it?"
"Did he tell you he talked to me?" Angus asked.
Anna shook her head. "He didn't mention it, but you can imagine we're not going out of our way to run into each other."
Angus swallowed, and then he told half the truth. "I was afraid he'd taken advantage of you. I know how you feel about sex."
"Oh, Angus." Anna touched his arm, and his heart ached. "He didn't take advantage of me," she said. "I was just as responsible."
Crack. He pulled in a hollow breath.
"We were both upset. He was tormenting himself over Cam. I was upset about my mother. Why didn't you tell me about her?"
"I'd just found out myself. I'm sorry she killed herself, but it wasn't your fault."
"I was coming to find you." She gave him a wistful smile. "I needed your shoulder to cry on."
Crack. Crack. Why had he left his room for a bloody walk? "You don't cry."
"Can we forget this happened? That's what I'm trying to do."
He would do damned near anything for her. If she wanted him to forget, then he would try to forget. She hugged him and he closed his eyes, trying to see anything except her and Ronan in bed when it should have been him with her.
"So tell me what you've found out," she said. "I assume you've gone through the papers in the box."
Many times over. "The one we read from Ian was the most important."
"Oh, nothing more?" Anna looked disappointed. "I thought there might have been something else."
"There was a map." He could tell her that much. He didn't want to mention Nigel's letter yet. He wasn't going to tell anyone until he'd checked into things more. If there was truth to Nigel's warnings, and Ian's, telling the Council might be the most dangerous thing he could do. He trusted Anna, but the fewer people who knew, the less chance of a slip of the tongue.
"Can I see it?"
He opened the box and took out the map. A copy. He'd given the original to the Council after he showed it to Sean.
He handed it to Anna. She held the map gently by the edges, and Angus leaned back and watched as she read. She had no idea how beautiful she was. Men fell at her bloody feet, and she just politely stepped over them. He hadn't dared stumble there himself. Now he wished he had.
She looked up, turquoise eyes wide. "This is the graveyard we visited?"
They'd gone there once in their quest for the Book of Battles. "Aye. That's it."
"I wish I could go with you, but I've still got some loose ends in Germany. I don't like you going alone. You always manage to run into trouble."
"If I need help I'll call Cody MacBain and his brothers. Virginia isn't that far from New York, and you know how tough Cody is." Cody was from the same clan, but his family had moved from Scotland to America when Cody was a toddler. Somewhat of a mysterious move. Angus had poked around trying to find out why but he'd gotten sidetracked by other things.
Anna nodded. "Cody would help for sure, and he's the only warrior since Faelan who's been assigned an ancient demon. Not that you aren't good," she added. "You can kick demon butt." She sighed. "How's our friend Walter? Brodie said y
ou've been back to see him a few times."
Angus wished she hadn't found out. "Still rambling. He was glad we found Ian's letter, but he's still talking about lost keys and secrets."
"Did you get anything from him that made sense?"
More than either of them could possibly have wanted to know. "He's worried about you."
"Me? Why?"
"I think he's confusing you with your mother. He talked about her a lot." That was true. "He remembered some of the demons she battled. Your mother was one hell of a warrior, like you. Walter warned her a few times about problems."
"I wish he could have warned her to stay home the night she got raped."
"I don't."
She looked surprised.
"I'm sorry, but then you wouldn't be here."
She smiled and touched his face. "I don't know what I would do without you."
Angus captured her hand there and held it against his cheek, filled with regrets that he hadn't told her how he felt earlier, before she'd slept with Ronan. He moved his hand and let hers slide away. "I'll always be here for you." He smiled. "That's what friends are for."
She nodded. "Did Walter say anything more about why he'd dreamed about me?"
"He gave me a warning for you, but I think he was thinking of your mother."
"What was the warning?"
He wished he hadn't mentioned it. "Beware of the demon."
"Did he say which demon?"
"No. He seemed confused. But you'll be careful?" Angus wanted to touch her again, to wrap his arms around her and confess everything. Damn it. Why couldn't he just tell her?
"I'm always careful."
"Bullshit. You're a maniac when you're fighting. Please be careful. For me."
"I will."
"Promise?"
"Promise." She hugged him then, wrapping her arms around him as she'd done since they were kids. He couldn't bear thinking of life without her. He decided then, that when he got back from America, he was going to tell her. Come clean. If she turned him down, so be it. At least he would know, and that made him feel lighter inside.
Angus: A Highland Warrior Brief Page 4
