Song of Resurgence (Ballads of Mae Book 2)
Page 12
I stared at my mate, stunned. My thoughts were jumbled. How did I explain to Mae that it was never my intention to ever make her feel unequal? Suddenly I realized how wrong I had been. Again, she was right. I had thought I had the power to control her. There was an imbalance in our relationship that could not continue.
I was accustomed to being listened to because I normally did have all the power. Each role I had to assume in my lifetime required me to be dominant. A general, a king, a nobleman, a mayor… The list went on. But that was how I gained the wealth and status needed to persevere. Being superior to others gave me power over them. When no one could question or doubt me, it helped me keep my identity secret. Was I so used to being dominant, commanding, and in charge that I had thought that was how I needed to be with my mate?
Before I could find the right words to clear the air between us, Arthur strolled into the room. He walked over to us and to my surprise, and displeasure, he placed a hand on Mae’s shoulder.
“Mae’s right, we need to call the others,” Arthur said firmly. “Things have gotten out of hand, and we need to bring in reinforcements.”
A snarl began to build in my chest. We were not having this argument again. There were multiple reasons we could not allow others to know of Mae. I struggled to keep my temper in check.
“Before you object to this, Rylan, I want you to know you are outnumbered in this vote,” Arthur continued. “Jasmine thinks it is time, too. That makes it three against one. And yes, Mae’s vote counts because she is my equal.”
I met Arthur’s gaze and bared my teeth as my snarl escaped. How dare he wade into our conversation and voice his opinion on something he knew nothing about?
Mae smiled up at Arthur who gave her a wink.
“There is too much going on here that doesn’t make sense. There are creatures that do not belong here. The shifters are now missing their Alpha. There is something in the air that is causing chaos. And most importantly, it’s alarming that not only are Ekon and Cain missing, but Zein’s territory butts up this one, and he was found murdered. I have a rising suspicion that he figured out what was going on here and was killed for it. I suggest we contact only a few warriors at first. Only the Guardians we trust the most,” Arthur said solemnly. “Once we get them used to Mae we can extend our call for help further.”
“It is too dangerous,” I snapped. “We can call the others, but let me take Mae somewhere safe—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Mae interrupted firmly. “We need to make sure we figure out who is casting dark magic and stop them before this gets any crazier. No one wants a war with the gods.”
I glared at her, and she glared back, testing me. For a moment I said nothing, too angry to form a coherent sentence. Mae’s expression softened.
She stepped forward and said, “I know you are worried; I am, too. I don’t necessarily want to be surrounded by Guardians who will see me as a threat, but this is more than the four of us can handle. I will have you, Arthur, and Jasmine to watch out for me, and I’ll work hard to try to win everyone over.”
I will make sure no one messes with Mae, Arthur added. Even you.
I looked at Arthur, and this time when I stared him down his eyes changed to violet.
Back off, Arthur, I warned him.
Then stop fucking up. None of this is Mae’s fault. Whatever is happening here, we all need to be on the same page. Let us figure out what is going on and take care of it quickly.
“Stop talking to each other and include me,” Mae said, her brows coming together. Arthur and I glared at each other for a moment longer before I sighed.
“Only the most trusted Guardians,” I warned him.
The war between my soul and my mind raged on. I had conceded to them because, deep down, I knew they were right. It was time to call reinforcements.
Chapter Twelve
Mae
After Rylan stormed off, I slipped the lunch he had started into the refrigerator. I was far from hungry. Arthur had disappeared after coming to my aid, and I was left alone with my thoughts. Part of me wanted to go check on Jasmine, but another part of me just wanted to be alone.
Quietly, I wandered the house. I had peaked into every room the first day we arrived, but I hadn’t been looking for anything in particular. Now, I looked for space I could call my own. Not necessarily to hide, but somewhere I could think without distraction. I found my spot on the third floor in a smaller corner of the second loft in the house.
I sat down on the overstuffed chair near the wall of books and sighed. Despite having slept for hours, my body still felt exhausted. Across the loft, through the large three-story glass window that looked out to the front of the house, the woods looked just as stunning and tranquil as the first day we had arrived. There was nothing sinister or ominous about the thick green foliage or the gorgeous snow-capped mountains in the distance.
How many people visited this park daily? How many people walked the trails, oblivious to the danger they were in? Every single thing in that woods was covered in dark magic. How long did dark magic have to linger on something before you saw an adverse effect from it? Was it affecting the four of us? Or did it need more time to get under our skin? The thought of something sinister sitting on my skin sent chills through my body.
I dragged my legs up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and rested my forehead on my knees. Behind my lids, I could see tentacles with suction cups coming for me. There were the yellow eyes of a werewolf pinning me with a hungry stare, and I could hear the haunting sound of howls. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I tried to push the experience to the back of my mind. I hadn’t saved Jasmine, and I’d ended up killing a living creature with my power.
My worst nightmare had come to life. If it hadn’t been for Rylan and Arthur, both Jasmine and I would be dead. Rylan had every right to be upset with me this time. Instead, he had made me lunch. Why couldn’t I just have been grateful instead of defensive? Trying to ease my guilt, I reminded myself that the last time he had made me food I had been left shaky and upset.
“Mae?” Arthur’s voice pulled me out of my despair.
I looked up and found him standing a few feet away.
“Hey. Is everything alright?” I let go of my legs and crossed them underneath me.
“For now, everything is calm,” Arthur assured me. “May I sit with you?”
Surprised by his request, I simply nodded. The Guardian walked over and took the seat next to mine. With a sigh, he sunk into the cushion and leaned his head back. He closed his eyes and did not say anything right away. I had thought I wanted to be alone but having him there felt right somehow. While I didn’t know much about the Guardian next to me, somehow during our brief time together we had grown close. Who knew that the man who had kidnapped me would end up being one of my best friends?
I lay back in my seat and stared up at the vaulted ceiling. Hanging in the loft was a chandelier made of deer antlers. Were they real antlers or fake? Who had thought a chandelier needed antlers? It was tacky décor, but it went with the rest of the lavish mansion, and secretly, I enjoyed looking at it. I stared up the light fixture for a while, lost in my wayward thoughts.
“May I share something with you?” Arthur asked, breaking the silence.
I turned to look at him and found him staring at me. His eyes were violet. I suppressed the shudder that wanted to race down my spine. I had done that to him.
“Of course, Arthur.”
Arthur looked away from me and stared into space, a frown tugged at the sides of his mouth. He reached up and stroked his goatee. When he turned back to me, his eyes had changed back to brown.
“Many centuries ago, I oversaw the territory that is now Nepal. I had a wife then, and her name was Fuli. She was loved in the community. Her family came from a wealthy class, but she was humble and worked hard to earn respect from everyone. It was an easy decision to ask her father for her hand in marriage. She was a solid choice as a wife. The marriage, l
ike all marriages before this, was simply a business arrangement that I profited greatly from.”
I nodded in understanding. Rylan had said his marriages were arranged in the same manner.
“One winter a sickness spread through our city. Hundreds of people in all different societal classes died. The young and old, men and women. The sickness took everyone it could infect. I was busy dealing with other matters elsewhere in my territory, so Fuli busied herself by helping the people within the community.
“I was gone for two years before I returned home. The city was nearly wiped out, and those left were half-starved and working hard to keep their families alive. Curious to see what my wife had been up to the past two years, I found her one night in a house made of mud and sticks. The roof was half caved in, and the residents were too sick to move from their beds. Fuli was there, not only tending to their every need but working to fix the roof. Instead of helping her, I simply watched her work. When she was done with that family, she left to tend to another one. She worked nonstop for days until she collapsed from exhaustion at one of the houses she had visited. Here, she had come to help a father feed his dying daughter.
“The man of that residence put her to bed and attempted to find food for my wife. I watched as he gave up his own meal, which he needed desperately, to Fuli. The next morning Fuli got up and kept working. People greeted her as if she were family. Fuli used what resources her family had to repair homes, feed families, care for the ill, and help cover the cost of funeral arrangements. She ran herself to the ground, trying to be there for her community. Her kindness and selflessness had not gone unnoticed by the people. In return, the community did what it could for her. They gave her the clothes off their backs when hers got too filthy or worn. They fed her, let her sleep in their beds… They supported her in any way that they could.”
Arthur paused and looked away from me again. He ran both hands over his face, and he sighed.
“Oh, Mae… That woman deserved a husband that loved her. One who would give her the children she so very much wanted. Looking back on her now… I think that if I could have, I would have loved her. I am telling you about Fuli, Mae, because I think your life is about to become more difficult, like hers did once the sickness arrived. If Zyroe and Autumn believe that only you can stop whoever is behind the casting of dark magic and bringing creatures here that do not belong… I think you will find that you may have to make hard decisions. At times, you may feel like you are alone in this, and I am sure, when the others arrive, you will find yourself surrounded by some hostility.”
I stared at him with a sinking suspicion that I already knew the answer to the question I was going to ask. “Do you really think it’s going to be bad with the others here?”
Arthur nodded. “Yes, the others will most likely hate you from the beginning. But, I want to let you know that you have Rylan, Jasmine, and myself as a community that will support you in whatever you need to do to stop this. You have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. Whatever you decide to do, whatever action you need to take, the three of us will always have your back.”
I gave him a grateful smile as my heart swelled at his kindness.
“I know you feel guilty for attacking both Jasmine and myself the other day, Mae. But I want you to know that even if you had killed us, you did the right thing. You were defending yourself, and if destroying us was the only way to stop us, then so be it. But instead of killing us, you protected both of us. I can feel your power in me, protecting me. While you were at the lake with Jasmine, back here I could feel the fingers of the depravity wanting to poison my mind. It tried to breach the wall your power erected in my mind, but it could not affect me, Mae. You saved me from doing things I would regret.”
Arthur stood and came to stand right in front of me. His expression was solemn, and his eyes were bright with fervor. He crouched down so we were eye to eye. He reached out and took my hands, which I had folded in my lap.
“Mae, whatever happens here, I promise to always stand beside you as your friend and as your soldier, should it come to that.”
I stared at Arthur, stunned by his passion. This was probably the most Arthur had ever spoken to me, and it was certainly the most personal thing he had ever shared. The serious vigor in his expression spoke volumes of the truth behind every word he spoke. This was a man who had lived hundreds, maybe thousands of years, who had probably seen countless battles and met millions of people who had long since passed. I was sure that he rarely ever got to this level to talk to them with such respect or sincerity.
I shifted onto my knees, and before he could react, I threw my arms around Arthur House. He did not hesitate to reciprocate. His arms came around me and pressed me to his chest.
“Thank you, Arthur.” For being here for me, I added.
Across the small loft, someone cleared their throat. I flinched and withdrew my arms from around Arthur’s neck. Arthur stood slowly, his face hardening as he turned to Rylan who stood in the shadows watching us.
“Rylan, Arthur and I were just—,”
“Talking. I know, I heard,” he interrupted. “Arthur, if you do not mind, I would like to have a moment with Mae.”
For a moment, Arthur didn’t move. Both males eyed each other. To my surprise, it was Rylan who caved first. He sighed and stepped to the side, allowing Arthur to move past him freely. Arthur walked past Rylan without saying a word. When Arthur was out of sight, I stood quickly, not sure what type of reaction I was going to get from Rylan. I certainly did not want to be sitting down, which left me vulnerable should he decide I needed to be punished.
Rylan walked over to me with slow, deliberate steps. He stopped right in front of me and reached out his hand for me to take. I looked down at his hand and then up into his gorgeous teal eyes. Without hesitation, I took it. My love for Rylan hadn’t changed. While I was suspicious of his calm demeanor, I knew that he loved me. That had to mean something.
Chapter Thirteen
Rylan
Mae was silent as I led her to our bedroom. Her trepidation swirled around in my gut, and it made my guilt, already a heavy stone sitting on my chest, even heavier. I found, however, that I could no longer feel her anger, and it gave me hope that she was willing to forgive me. I shut the door. She walked into the middle of the room before she turned to look at me. Her gorgeous, warm brown eyes searched my face suspiciously.
For the past two hours, I had alternated between agonizing on how to restore my relationship with my mate and worrying about the Guardians I had called. I found that I hardly trusted anyone in the Guardian community; certainly not with the secret my mate carried within her. I had kept my conversations brief and vague, but the urgency of the situation at hand had to be conveyed. Those coming would only know of the dark magic spreading like wildfire here and that two Guardians had gone missing. It would not be until they arrived that they would learn of Mae and her involvement.
That was when the risk to her life would multiply tenfold. No matter how much I trusted the few men and women I had called, time would soon tell how much they trusted me when I introduced them to my mate. The thought of killing my brethren sickened me, but it was more tolerable than allowing Mae to die by their hands. The thought of her death was so agonizing that I needed to touch Mae, to feel her in my arms and know that, at least for now, she was safe.
But the distance separating us felt as expansive as an ocean. It was simply unacceptable. I had caused this rift, and I intended to fix it. I had just found Mae. We should be growing closer, not further apart. There was a growing urgency to touch her, to bury myself in her, and to worship her. My fingers itched to finish what I had started the other day. But first, some things needed to be said.
“Mae, my whole life has been made up of a series of different roles that I have played. Each role I play must be mastered to a tee, or what and who I am could be exposed. Leadership roles have always been necessary to progress successfully through each phase of my life. Thes
e roles allowed me to control those around me and prevented anyone from questioning me. They were necessary in order to keep my secret. But in these roles, I was required at times to prove my authority. If someone stepped out of line or tried to undermine my authority, I found that punishments almost always worked to get others to comply.
“All I want is to keep you safe. It is my duty, not just as a Guardian but as your mate, to look out for you, and when you decide to not listen to my commands, it drives me insane. Losing you is never going to be an option for me. I fell into old habits, Mae, and that was wrong of me. Being your mate is not a role. I am not your dictator. I did not intend for your punishment to be construed as you not being my equal. As you said, we should be able to discuss our issues with one another. I am sorry for what I did and how I made you feel. I swear I will never punish you again. If I am ever upset or angry with you, I will talk to you about it instead of lashing out. You are the one person in my life that matters to me, and I feel horrible about what I have done. I am sorry, Mae.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I finished my apology. I felt vulnerable and exposed as I laid out my flaws for Mae to see. She studied my face. What was she thinking? The silence stretched, and my impatience grew, but I knew I needed to wait. I had broken the trust between us, and it would take time to fix this.
One corner of her mouth twitched upwards, and the suspicion on her face disappeared. She raised her hand and stretched it out towards me. It was all the invitation I needed. I crossed the space between us in no time, taking her hand in mine. The contact was profound. The tension lessened in my chest, and some of my worries eased. I had not realized how cold I had been feeling until warmth spread through my chest.