Dream Wedding

by Susan Mallery

  The problem was, he meant it. He hadn’t felt anything like this before. There had been a connection, a oneness. The words of the old shaman came back to him. “When you mate with a woman, you give away a piece of your soul.”

  That’s what had happened, he realized. He and Chloe had exchanged parts of their innermost selves. He’d never wanted that before—mostly because the thought scared him. But with Chloe, he didn’t mind. He liked the thought of having a part of her soul to carry with him, and for reasons he couldn’t explain, he trusted her with a piece of himself.

  * * *

  THEY WERE QUIET for a long time. Chloe enjoyed the silence. She needed to catch her breath, both physically and emotionally. She wasn’t sure of everything that had happened between them. It had definitely been better than the dream, which was a little terrifying. The good news was, she reminded herself, at least the best it had ever been was now a real-life experience and not something she’d thought up in her head.

  “What are you thinking about?” Arizona asked.

  Chloe’s head rested on his shoulder and her hand stroked his chest. Somehow they’d found their way inside her sleeping bag. “That it’s never been like this before.”

  “For me, too. Pretty spectacular. And that was just our first time out. Imagine what we could do with a little practice.”

  There was something to think about, she thought. “No, you don’t understand. After Billy, there were two young men in college. I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never climaxed before.”

  She instantly regretted her confession, but he didn’t get all weird on her. The hand stroking her hair never slowed and his breathing remained even.

  “I wouldn’t have guessed,” he told her, “but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad. I wanted to make it perfect for you.”

  “Oh, it was, and then some.”

  “Good.”

  She was on her side, facing him. Her right leg rested on top of his. She bent her knee and rubbed her foot up and down along his shin. Her thigh brushed against a raised ridge in his skin.

  “You have a scar.” She made a statement rather than asking a question.

  “I was cut with a knife when I was about fifteen. We were in India. A man got sick and had a high fever. He was delirious and thought we were trying to take him away. Several of us grabbed him to hold him down, but he got in a couple of good thrusts. I was in the way of one of them.”

  He spoke so matter-of-factly, she thought. As if that sort of thing happened every day. “I don’t have any scars,” she told him. “We’ll have to bond over something else.”

  He kissed her forehead. “I think we’ve done more than our share of bonding tonight.”

  They had, she thought, realizing he was right. They’d bonded in the most intimate way possible. “I knew it was going to be like this,” she said without thinking.

  The words hung in the silence of the night. She stiffened, waiting for the inevitable questions, but Arizona never asked. He only held her tighter against him.

  I knew it was going to be like this.

  The statement filled his head until it was all he could think about. She’d thought about them being together. She’d assumed it was going to be amazing. He didn’t know why that should matter so much to him, but it did.

  Who was this woman who had made a place for herself inside of him? Was he crazy? They couldn’t get involved. She was three different kinds of home and hearth. He’d never lived anywhere longer than six months at a time and he had no intention of changing his ways. He didn’t want to settle down. Except for the occasional loneliness, he liked his life. Especially tonight.

  He shifted until he was facing her, then he kissed her. The passion flared more slowly this time. Her arms wound around his neck as she opened her mouth to him. As if she read his mind.

  Connected, he thought, distracted by the need building. They were connected. Maybe the thought should send him running for cover. It usually did.

  “I want you,” he murmured against her mouth. “I want to be in you. I want to feel you under me.”

  Her breathing quickened as her body responded to what he’d said.

  They were well matched. She was tall for a woman, and he liked that. He liked the feel and smell of her skin, the brush of her legs against his. He liked her small, tight breasts and the tautness of her nipples. He liked the way her long hair spilled over her breasts, both exposing and concealing them. He liked her.

  Something had happened between them. He knew that now. He didn’t want to get involved, but he couldn’t walk away from her. Not yet. Not tonight and maybe not for a couple of days. He wanted her too much.

  As he reached for another condom, he told himself he was risking a lot. Maybe he should back off now.

  He tried his surefire method for disconnecting. He pictured Chloe about thirty pounds heavier with a baby in her arms and another clinging to her skirts. He imagined a house, a yard and a minivan in the driveway. In his mind’s eye, he saw the suburbs, his nine-to-five job and a medical and dental insurance plan. Then he waited.

  But the arousal didn’t go away and the vision didn’t make him cringe. When she reached her hand between them, he allowed her to guide him inside her. They both groaned as he slid home.

  As he began to thrust into her, he moved his hands all over her body. He liked her like this, but the thought of her with rounder hips, gently aging, didn’t distress him as it should have.

  He reminded himself that he came from a long line of men who got love all wrong. His grandfather, his father and him. He would never settle down, so this was just make-believe. Not love. Never love.

  As her legs encircled him, he told himself this was all he was ever going to have. And for now it was enough.

  CHAPTER TEN

  DESPITE THE HARD ground, Chloe found herself drifting off to sleep. Perhaps it was a result of the physical exercise from hiking all afternoon. Or maybe it was because her body had been so thoroughly satisfied by Arizona’s lovemaking. She decided she didn’t much care. As long as he snuggled next to her, his arms around her making her warm and keeping her safe.

  She lay on her side with him behind her, spooning against her. One arm rested heavily on her waist. She placed her hand on top of his and savored the feel of him. Her mind drifted and images formed. Images of Arizona. They hadn’t know each other very long, but already the man was very much a part of her life.

  She slept dreamlessly until well after midnight. Then she sank deeper and deeper into the dreaming place. Unrelated bits and pieces flitted through her mind until they came together to form a picture. Chloe found herself walking toward a vehicle. But instead of her sleek, sporty convertible, she unlocked a Suburban.

  “Come on, you two,” she called over her shoulder. “We’re going to be late.” But she wasn’t angry as she spoke. The scene had been played out a hundred times before and they’d never once been late, although the children did love to dawdle.

  A girl of maybe six or seven and a boy of four trotted after her, then climbed into the truck. Chloe stepped in after them. She checked to make sure they were wearing their seat belts, then carefully adjusted her own so that it encircled her very pregnant belly.

  As she backed out of the driveway, she glanced up and saw the Victorian house where she’d lived her entire life. An upper floor curtain moved and Aunt Charity waved at her. Chloe waved back. Aunt Charity would take care of making dinner tonight, as she had for the past couple of weeks. Chloe was running behind on her book deadline, and she wanted to get the project out before the baby came. Plus there was the party on Friday, for which she wasn’t close to ready. Her daughter needed a costume for the school play; she and Arizona had to make plans to celebrate their anniversary. It was overwhelming.

  As she turned onto the main street, she found herself smiling
. Yes, at times life overwhelmed her, but she’d never been happier or more content. She and Arizona were so right together. As if they truly were each other’s destiny.

  As she drove into traffic, the two children in the back began to sing. Chloe joined in. The words were a familiar rhyme. Then the sound faded and she found herself drifting out of the dream. She tried to call out a protest. She didn’t want to leave. It was perfect there. She wanted it to be real. She wanted him to be her destiny.

  Chloe awoke with a start. Cold night air caressed her cheek and for a moment, she didn’t know where she was. Something long and strong and warm cradled her from behind, trapping her in an unfamiliar cocoon.

  She opened her mouth to scream, then the memories clicked into place. She was fine. She was in the forest with Arizona. They were hiking to an archaeological dig so he could look at some artifacts. They weren’t married, she wasn’t pregnant. Nothing was different from the way it had been yesterday or a month ago.

  Until the last lie, she’d nearly succeeded in calming herself. But now her heart rate picked up and her body trembled. She wasn’t the same. Everything had changed since Arizona had dropped into her life. Now they were lovers. How was she supposed to resist him? The way he touched her, the way he made her feel—no woman could walk away from that kind of magic.

  She closed her eyes and willed herself to calm down. She was overtired. She was reacting emotionally to a difficult situation. That was what the dream had been trying to tell her—that things were different now. She wasn’t really going to marry Arizona, live in Bradley and have three children. That was crazy. She was going to move to New York and write for a major magazine. She wasn’t going to get married because loving someone meant opening herself to pain and Chloe had sworn to never do that again. It hurt too much.

  “I’m fine,” she whispered to herself. “It was just a dream. It’s not true.”

  She repeated the sentences over and over. Slowly, her body relaxed. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t her destiny. In a couple of weeks he would disappear from her life as abruptly as he’d entered it and she would go on as before.

  “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” she told herself. “Nothing at all.”

  Arizona shifted in his sleep and pulled her closer. She allowed herself to press against him. Unexpectedly, tears sprang to her eyes. She felt them fill her eyes, then spill onto her temple. What on earth was wrong with her? She was fine. It had just been a strange dream.

  And then she knew. The truth dawned and with it a growing horror. She wasn’t crying because she was afraid the dream would come true…but because she was afraid it wouldn’t.

  * * *

  THEY WALKED IN to the dig a little after one in the afternoon. Chloe hadn’t known what to expect. Her entire experience with archaeology had been a visit to the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles when she’d been ten or twelve. She vaguely recalled some motorized life-size replicas of a woolly mammoth family caught in tar outside, and some fossils on the inside. Behind the buildings was the actual site itself, but that memory was a blur.

  Here she’d expected to see a few open pits with college students delicately removing bits of bone using dental instruments. Instead, she and Arizona crested the rise and looked down into an entire village.

  To the left were the tents used by the scientists and workers. To the right were obviously ancient stone huts, some reduced to crumbled remains, others standing tall with open places for windows and doors. A couple hundred yards back from the village was an open dirt area with a large circle painted in white.

  “What do you think?” Arizona asked.

  “It’s huge,” she told him. “I’d pictured something smaller.”

  “Most people do. They’re studying a society here, not digging up dinosaur bones. Some of the finds are from two or three different Indian tribes. That’s what everyone came to study. But about three months ago, they started unearthing a much older civilization…and one that was more advanced. No one knows who they are or where they came from. They’re the ones who interest me.”

  As he spoke, he started down the side of the rise. Chloe followed him. While she was pleased they’d arrived and she could put down her heavy pack for a few hours, in a way she was sorry to be around other people. Instead, she wanted to be alone with Arizona.

  This morning could have been awkward. Between her very strange dream and their physical intimacy, she’d been prepared for stiff conversation and averted gazes. Instead, Arizona had awakened her with a kiss. She’d felt perfectly comfortable lying there in his arms. They’d had breakfast and dressed, but in the process of rolling up their sleeping bags and packing up clothes, they’d become tangled in each other. The lovemaking had been hot and fast, leaving them both satisfied and out of breath. Not a bad way to start the morning.

  But all that would be different now, she told herself. There were other people around. She had to remember they were both here to work.

  A tall, skinny man with a scruffy beard looked up at their approach. He wore thick glasses and baggy clothes. He had a clipboard in one hand and a handheld tape recorder in the other.

  “Arizona!” he called when he spotted them. “I heard you were coming to check out what we found.”

  “Hey, Jeff. Good to see you.” They walked over to him and the two men shook hands. “This is Chloe Wright. She’s a reporter.”

  Jeff shook her hand and winked. “He’s all flash, no substance. Don’t let him fool you into thinking otherwise.”

  Chloe found herself smiling at the rumpled man. “I’ll do my best to remain objective.”

  Jeff returned his attention to Arizona. “We’ve found more artifacts. Some tools, bowls, nothing that will interest you.” He slapped his friend’s back. “The amulet is in here.”

  He led Arizona toward one of the larger tents. Chloe fell into step behind them. As they walked, she glanced around and tried to get a feel for all the activity. Long wooden tables had been stacked with bowls, stone disks and knives. There were open crates and two women filling them with the stone objects.

  Every time they walked by someone, Arizona called out a greeting. He knew them all by name. He had a few teasing words for each of them. Chloe was reminded of the reception, where he’d known as many guests as she did, and she’d lived in Bradley all her life. She supposed it was just his personality. He enjoyed getting to know people and they wanted to know him.

  “In here,” Jeff said, motioning them inside one of the largest tents.

  Arizona let his backpack slip to the ground before entering and Chloe did the same. There were more tables set up in here, she noticed as they entered. The objects littering the surface were small and delicate. Some were wood, a few cloth. Despite the canvas flaps rolled back to let in both air and light, the area smelled musty.

  “We found it in what we thought might have been a wooden box. Unfortunately, it disintegrated when we moved it. But the amulet is intact. There are a dozen or so stone beads. Very round with a tiny hole through the center. We figured it was part of a necklace of some kind. How they made the stones so small and perfect is anyone’s guess.”

  Jeff stopped in front of a table in the rear of the tent. “I’ve already finished the paperwork. You just have to sign for it and promise you won’t lose it.”

  Arizona smiled. “I’ll be careful.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m releasing it to you.” He glanced at Chloe. “We have some sandwiches left over from lunch if you want them.”

  Her stomach growled. “Sounds great.”

  “Help yourself when you’re done.” He picked up a rectangular acrylic case that was about six inches square and handed it to Arizona. “Good luck. I’m curious to hear what you figure out.” With that he waved and left the tent.

  Arizona lifted the cover and stared down at the small round stones. Chloe moved c
loser. One of the stones was larger than the others, and more oval than round. There was some kind of carving.

  “A child sign,” he said, and put the oval piece in the center of his palm. “That’s a sleeping baby or young child.”

  She looked down and saw what looked like a cross between a crude drawing of an infant in a cradle board and a baby seal. The ridges underneath looked fluid to her.

  “Water?” she asked, pointing.

  “Probably. These dots up here—” He indicated the top half of the stone “—are stars. The tiny crescent is the moon. The water indicates a journey or travel. The birth of a baby, or a prayer for a baby to be brought to the family? Maybe a wish for a dying child to have safe passage to the next life.” His voice was low and intense. “I’ll have to start researching this fairly soon. I’m not going to have much time.”

  He muttered a few more sentences, then seemed to get lost in what he was studying. Chloe didn’t mind. She moved away and bent over a few of the tables, trying to figure out what had been unearthed.

  This was, she acknowledged, a different world from her own suburban life. Arizona was unlike anyone she’d ever met. Yet there were many things about him that called to her. His kindness, his intelligence, his humor. She found him physically attractive—she liked the feel of his body next to and on top of hers. She respected him.

  She glanced back and saw him carefully weighing the round stones and the amulet itself, then making notations on a card. Their relationship just wasn’t about sex—at least it wasn’t for her. And that thought terrified her. If it was only physical, it would be so much easier to put into place. As it was, she was confused. What did it mean that Arizona had entered her life? What was she supposed to do now? The obvious answer was that she was supposed to enjoy the fun while it lasted, then forget about him when he left. It made sense. What other choice was there?

  But what about the dream? Had that meant anything? Was it a premonition or just wishful thinking on her part?