“No, you have three of her, and they all love you as much as Britt loves me. Don’t forget that.” She spins me on my stool to face my friends. They’re all staring at me with giant eyes, all filled with tears. I slide off my stool, nod at Emma in thanks, and approach the table.
Mel and Shannon open and close their mouths several times, but it’s Ciara who speaks and breaks me. “I love you,” she declares and thrusts out her chin. “You guys are all my best friends and I’d make the same request from each of your roommates slash lovers slash whatevers.” She turns to Shannon. “Well, except for you, since you’re my roomie. That would just make it weird. But for Mel and Kayla, I would. I regret nothing.”
I can’t stay mad when she makes me laugh. I still want answers. “Why, Ciara. Why ask Jake to do that?”
“Because if he went through with it knowing you didn’t want to, he’s the douche dick I originally took him for. But if he talked to you about it first even though it was part of the rules that he couldn’t, and he refused to share you with anyone, then he’s the man I wanted him to be.”
I shake my head and pinch the skin between my eyes. “You were testing him?”
“Why say that like it’s a bad thing? My request made him realize the man he really is. You’re welcome.”
“I really want to hate you right now.”
Ciara stands and hugs me, even kisses me on the cheek. “Instead, you love me.”
I hug her back. “I do love you, damn it. I love all you bitches.”
“And Jake?” Ciara asks.
I give them a nod as I accept my fate. I’m in love with the type of guy I’ve spent my entire life avoiding. “I love him, too.”
“Then tell him.”
“I will. Eventually. I have to work up to it.”
Ciara shakes her head. “Never wait.”
She sits and nods for me to as well. I do, scared of the sincerity shining in her eyes. She’s never serious. “What is it?”
“When I was seventeen, I was in a car accident with my boyfriend. We’d both been drinking. He drifted into oncoming traffic and jerked the wheel back, but went too far. We flipped and landed wheels-up in a lake.” She smiled, but soon her eyes fill with tears as she drew in several breaths. “I got my belt off and turned to help him. But he pushed me out the window. I surfaced and screamed for help. I then dove back under, but it was so dark. I had no idea how far down it was to the bottom.” She closed her eyes, forcing the tears down her cheeks. “Sam never made it out.”
Another man risking his life for the woman he loved. I think of Ryan and how lucky he is to be alive. My heart breaks for Ciara’s loss. “I’m so sorry, Ciara.”
“He used his last moments of life to save me. I vowed, from that moment on, to never take life for granted again. Sam’s death reminds me of that every day. So, if I seem a little wild, out of line, or anything else, it’s only because I want to live.” Her voice shakes as she wipes at the tears that spill from her eyes. “I want you all to live.”
Wow. Like, holy balls wow. I’m stunned, sad for her and Sam, and oddly invigorated by her talk. I now understand why Ciara is the way she is and am inspired by it. It’s like a thousand-watt light bulb just went off in my head, burning away the fog. I don’t want to live a life of regret, a life trying to make up for a life lost. I’ve already lost twenty-four years to my fears, of trying to be just like my mom. I don’t want to be anything like her. I don’t want to be anything like my dad. I want to be like me. I refuse to lose another day living my life under someone else’s rules.
I stand and hold them all in my gaze. “I’m going after him.”
They applaud, drawing attention to us. I’m embarrassed as hell but refuse to let that hold me back. I run to the front door and throw it open, then suck in a breath as sirens echo in the inky night. I stand there, too shocked to move, as several firetrucks streak by, the sirens screaming into the night. Sirens never affected me before Jake. Now I have a man I love on the fire department and that scares the shit out of me. He’s got to know how I feel and nothing, not even a race to a fire, will stop me from telling him.
“Jake,” I whisper as I take off in the direction the trucks just disappeared in.
33
TREX HQ
“We’ve already had this discussion, Ryan.” Bailey shook her head at the persistence of her intel recruit. “You broke the rules.”
“For good reason,” he practically cried. “Please, Bailey. Hear me out. I need back in.”
“Because of a car sitting outside your apartment? The gray Chevy Impala happens to be the most common car in America. How do you know it’s the same one Jake saw?”
“I don’t, but he does. I believe him.”
“Good for you. It’s not enough.”
Ryan sighed, clearly frustrated. Too damn bad. It took more than seeing a common car outside his apartment to convince her to grant him access again. “I’m telling you, there’s something Murphy said to Jake that’s not right.”
“If this is about his comment how everything is falling into place, we’re already on it.”
“No. He knew Jake didn’t live with his uncle.”
She pulled up the transcript from the event and reread it, seeing nothing worthy of a second glance. “So? He never lived with his uncle.”
“Then why would Murphy make that comment?” Ryan wouldn’t let it go. He was like a dog with a bone. It was one of the many reasons she recruited him. Right now, it only annoyed her. They didn’t have time to debate this. He’d been suspended for abusing his access to track down his mother’s infidelities. One more strike and he was out. TREX didn’t have a three-strike rule. It stopped at two.
“A bad assumption?” Even as she said it, she didn’t believe it. Ryan was on to something. “People your age don’t live at home. I moved out when I was eighteen.”
“Twenty-seven is the new eighteen.”
“Excuse me?”
“That’s the average age now. In this economy, people move back home after college. Between the debt from student loans and the rent for even a one-bedroom apartment anywhere close to a city, we can’t afford to live on our own.”
Dread slowly crept into her brain, slowing her thoughts. Why would Murphy mention Jake’s living situation? That convinced her. She knew better than to ignore gut instinct, even if it wasn’t her gut. “What are you thinking?”
“I think he knows Jake is TREX.”
Bailey’s pulse kicked up. “Keep going.”
“He seemed way too eager to help Jake with his political ambitions. He handed his phone over—freely—and didn’t even question when Jake set it on top of his. It’s like the guy wanted us to clone his phone. Or…”
“Or he cloned Jake’s at the same time.” Shit. Shit! Why hadn’t she put all this together? Was she losing her touch? Once again, she’d let her own recruit outshine her.
“Please unlock my access.”
She was already on it. “Done.”
“Thank you.” Ryan typed even faster than Bailey. In no time, he shared something on Bailey’s screen. “Check it out.”
“What am I looking at?” It was a bunch of random addresses on Bainbridge Island.
“This is a hot sheet the fire department monitors. It’s a list of buildings at risk for fire. If the building goes up, the fire department does its best to contain the blaze, but doesn’t enter unless there’re signs of life. Jake had it on his phone, which means it’s safe to assume Murphy now has it on his. See that last address? That’s Jake’s building.”
“His old building,” she corrected. “Why are you showing me this? It’s been condemned. He’s not there.”
“It’s Saturday. He is there. Now do you understand why I’m so close to a stroke? He’s there looking for Kayla’s necklace,” Ryan explained, his tone urgent, thick with worry. “What if Murphy had him followed? Bailey, if the fire department doesn’t know he’s there, they’ll let the building burn. He’ll be trapped.”
<
br /> “You’re jumping to conclusions, cadet.” She hoped.
“Am I?” The clicking of the keyboard echoed over the line. Bailey waited, knowing it’d be worth it. Whatever he tracked had him on edge, worried about his partner. His worry made her worry. “There. Recognize the car? Now do you believe me?”
It was a satellite image of a silver Chevy Impala parked outside Jake’s old building.
“Stand by,” she muttered and ended the call to make another, one she’d hoped to never make. Damn it. Murphy was after her recruit. She had to stop him before he succeeded. “Secure the line.” Once she heard the clicks, she continued. “TREX. Bravo-Bravo-Six-Two-Six. We have a situation.”
[Jake]
That necklace had better be here. It’s freaky as hell being in this old debilitated building after dark, no light, no occupants, yet I hear movement. God only knows the number of bugs and rodents that have made this building their home, both before and after it’s been condemned.
I shift the beam of my flashlight around Kayla’s old apartment, looking for anything to catch the light. I see nothing and shuffle further inside. It’s got to be here somewhere.
Another noise catches in my ears and snags my attention. Are those footsteps? I swing the flashlight around but see nothing and curse my imagination for overreacting. Why the hell am I even here? Finding her necklace won’t prove anything more than I’m a crazy son of a bitch who doesn’t know when to give up on a lost cause.
But Kayla is no lost cause. Lost, yes. She needs me, needs me to show her who she really is. I can’t imagine going through life not knowing who I am. I don’t want her spending another day doubting herself. She can be so much stronger. So much more confident. I want to be the one to show her how.
If I can’t find the necklace, I’ll buy her a new one. I’ll buy her a hundred necklaces if that’s what it takes to prove how much I love her. Why’s it so hard for her to believe how I feel? The more I think about all our fights, all the times she’s pushed me away, the more pissed I get. Who is she to give me shit for being the way I am? At least I’m honest with myself, which is more than I can say for her.
Goddamn her for doing this to me. I’m a good guy, at least most of the time. Now I want to be better. I want to be more than I am. For her. Because of her. She opened my eyes to who I really am. I don’t want to be the guy who says whatever it takes to get into a girl’s pants. I want to be a man of my word. I want her to trust when I say something, I mean it.
Three weeks. Three weeks of fighting, making up, and fighting some more. I never tried to be someone I’m not with her. Not once. I hate that she’s got me so crazy I can’t think of anything but her. No girl has ever had this much of an effect on me.
I’m not going anywhere. No matter how many times I say it, I see the doubt clouding Kayla’s eyes. I hate that she’s so scared. And of what? Of herself. Of being happy. No one should ever go through life scared of being happy. I’m going to show her the true meaning of happiness, just as soon as I find that goddamn necklace.
I draw in a deep breath and stop. I sniff the air. What is that? Plastic? It smells like it did the night Kayla caught the light fixture on fire.
And then the fire moved into the wiring.
I lift my gaze to the ceiling and sniff the air once again. I then smell around the floor, the walls, then the ceiling. Yep. It’s definitely in the ceiling. Fire. The air starts to grow warm and thick. I jerk the light around but see nothing. Where the hell is it hiding?
The radio on my hip crackles to life, scaring the shit out of me. “Bainbridge Island Fire Department, be advised. There’s a report of smoke at 121 Madison Drive.”
Shit. Shit! That’s this building. The boys killed all the hot spots. I watched them do it. Besides, the fire wouldn’t survive two weeks feeding off the wiring without some sign. I turn and stop when I lift my gaze to the ceiling in the living room. It’s bowing, swelling from the heat. The boards pop and crack under protest. Jesus Christ, the fire is closer than I thought.
I race into the hall and skid to a stop. The fire already ate through the exits, blocking them. I run back into Kayla’s old apartment to process what to do next. I could break a window and jump, hoping I don’t shatter anything on impact—like my neck.
The radio sounds. It’s my captain. “Dispatch, we’re 10-8 to the scene.”
“Received at—”
I break protocol and cut into dispatch’s transmission. I’m not on duty and am only a cadet. That’s like a triple whammy. “It’s Cadet Swanson. I’m at 121 Madison Drive. The fire is in the rafters. I repeat. The fire is in the raf—” A deafening crash cuts me off. The roof in the living room collapses, sending me backwards. I dive into the bedroom just in time. As I land, I spot a shiny object caught between the floorboards and snag it. It’s Kayla’s damn necklace. She’d better appreciate the hell out of this.
I stand and do a quick assessment of the living room. No way am I getting out that way now, not without protective gear. The balcony is out of the question. Despite it only being attached to the building by a single bolt, I’d have to go through the fire to get to it. I take a glance at the closet and quickly dismiss the idea. That’s a death trap. My only option is the bedroom window. Now to find a way to break it without cutting myself in the process.
“Swanson?” It’s my captain over the radio and he doesn’t sound happy. “What the hell are you doing in a condemned building?”
I grit my teeth. I can’t tell him I’m here looking for Kayla’s necklace. I clasp it around my neck to keep it safe.
“I’m waiting, cadet.”
The fire is loud, angry and growling, as it eats through the floor and robs the room of oxygen. It’s already sucking the air from my lungs and I cough. “The ceiling is under an extreme amount of pressure, sir.”
“And you know this how?”
“I’m staring right at it. If we don’t get guys up there to release it, we’re going to lose the building.”
“Get the hell out of there.”
“That’s, uh…” I look around for a way out and cough as the flames move across the threshold, into the bedroom, and lick up the walls, blocking my way to the only window. It’s surrounding me and forcing me into the only room left not already engulfed in flames—the bathroom. It’s also a room with no exit. The window is too small to squeeze through.
I’m trapped.
I cover my mouth with my sleeve. “That’s going to prove to be a bit difficult, sir.”
“Goddamn it, Swanson.” This time it’s Jordan, my training officer. As my TO, it’s his ass as much as the captain’s if I die in this fire. I’ve broken just about every rule there is so far and no doubt lost my chance to ever join the department permanently. “I’m going to kick your ass when I get there.”
I can’t help but think of Kayla and her plethora of arbitrary rules. I get it. Maybe they’re not so arbitrary. If I’d followed even one of the rules, I wouldn’t be here now, trapped in the bathroom of a condemned apartment with fire closing in. Goddamn it. The timing of my epiphany sucks. “Get me out of here and I’ll be happy to take that ass-kicking.”
“We got all the hot spots,” McElroy says over the radio. “And it’s weeks later. This makes no sense.”
It clicks. The footsteps I heard. “Someone else was in here,” I tell them and cough again. “I heard them.”
“Hold it until we get there,” the captain says. “No need airing speculation.”
“No!” And there goes another rule as I talk back to the captain, disobeying a direct order. “Listen to me.” I cough hard as the smoke burns my lungs and scrapes my throat. I drop to the floor and breathe against the tiles, and keep the radio to my mouth. “You have to let me tell you what I know in case I don’t make it out of here.”
“You will not talk like that,” Jordan barks. “You’re going to make it out.”
“Let him speak.” Holy shit. I recognize that voice. It’s the assistant director of TREX,
Special Agent in Charge, David Snyder. It doesn’t surprise me they have the means to hack into our transmission. TREX has ways. “Kid, you better get down every word.”
“Yes, sir.” It’s Ryan, thank God. Hearing my partner’s voice brings me comfort, like somehow, someway, he’s about to turn directly at the threat to save me. “Go ahead, Jake.”
For some reason, my throat tightens. This will be the last time I talk to him. To any of them. I’ll never see him again, never get to shake his hand and tell him how much I appreciate being his friend.
I can’t think about that now and push it into the back of my mind. “I’m in Kayla’s apartment. Her bathroom. The ceiling in her living room collapsed. The floor is on fire. There’s no way the guys are coming in that way.” I swallow hard as I glance above me. “The fire in the ceiling has already moved into the bedroom, which tells me it’s moving fast in all directions.” I squelch my fear at the thought I won’t make it through this. Being a firefighter isn’t about one person. It’s about saving the lives of others. Saving their homes. Protecting the men and women fighting the fire. It’s never about a single person. It’s always about the team.
I squeeze my eyes shut and move the radio away from my mouth as I swallow a sob. I’m not scared. I’ve trained for this. Even if the terror in my heart is racing my pulse, I refuse to let anyone hear it. I want them to save me—whether it’s TREX or the BIFD, but not at the expense of their own lives. All I can think of is Kayla, whether I’ll ever see her again. Love makes people do stupid things, like break into a condemned building to find a necklace. And I love her. God, how I love her. It squeezes my chest, twists in my gut, and makes it hard to take a breath.
“Keep going, partner.” Ryan’s voice sounds over the radio. It’s calm, soothing, but I also hear that underlying tension. He’s scared. “What else do you see?”
“No electricity.” I tried the lights when I broke in. “When I first got here, I swore I heard movement. I thought it was rodents, but now I’m positive someone else was in this building. Someone set this fire. I smelled plastic before the ceiling collapsed.”
The Heat Is On (TREX Rookies Book 2) Page 30
