Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy)

by Paige Orr

  After I finish freshening myself up, I head down to the main floor of our home. It's bigger than most houses but we didn't want a mansion so it's somewhere in between. We're all so particular about the decor that we argued for months over it. Can you really imagine, four scary as fuck Knights fighting over home design. Let me tell you, as frustrating as it was, we probably made quite the picture.

  Finally, we settled on a Victorian mansion vibe, agreeing on a dark wood theme. With five bedrooms, all with their own bathroom of course (fuck sharing with these slobs). A lounge with a beautiful fireplace and dark wood furniture. A black marble kitchen, with ebony cabinets and a pristine white tiled floor. Combined study and library, to make it easier for research. A tech room that nobody but Sam goes into (probably because if we touch anything it would most likely break).

  An armory filled with the finest blades and firearms that we have collected throughout our lives. We also have our five-car garage and a clothing design studio for Gale and all his creations. I mean, I get that he designs clothes but soon we will have to build an attachment onto the house just for his wardrobe. Lastly D’s favorite room in the house is our gym. Filled with weights, treadmills, rowing machines, punching bags and mats to spar on.

  I walk into the study buttoning my Gucci shirt(I've got a particular liking towards the brand and the guys usually take the piss by calling me the Gucci Prince). The guys gaze at me expectantly, patiently waiting for me to broach the subject. Sitting down behind the desk I look each of my brothers in the eye making sure I've got their full attention.

  “Do any of you have any idea what the pain we all experienced was caused by?” I watch their reactions for any sign that they know what is happening. Gale looks clueless being the youngest and having never witnessed a mating, D has his usual blank expression in place and Sam eyes me knowingly so I nod for him to tell us what he thinks.

  “Well Tae. You, D and I are the only ones who are old enough to understand and to have witnessed this before. Though it hasn’t happened in many years. It's the mating call isn't it?”

  “Yeah, Sam it is. I think it's time we stopped torturing Gale and explain to him what this means for us all. Would you like to start?” Gale gazes at us earnestly as Sam fixes his glasses and begins to explain. “Well as you know female demons are rare and usually mate to a pair. Yet over the last few centuries, there have only been two matings that have taken place. No one understands why our females are struggling to give birth to more girls or why they're finding it hard to find their mat-” Gale cuts him off with confusion clouding his features.

  “Wait, you said that the females mate to a pair. Then why have all four of us received a mating call? Also if they're struggling to find out what is wrong with the matings of the females, why are we getting a mating call?” I meet Sam's eyes shaking my head so only he could see and take over the explanation.

  “Gale don't be so fucking rude to your elders, you should know better than that. But to answer your questions, first, usually only members of the royal bloodlines tend to mate to more than two males because of their power level. In fact, I've never heard of a quad mating call before. Which really throws the rule book out the window, we could quite literally be mated to anyone.

  For your second question, as Sam was trying to explain, nobody knows what is happening to the females. So we can’t give you an answer to that at the moment, because you know about as much as we do. Now, what I can tell you is that we must find her and soon. The longer it takes to find our mate the worse and more frequent these episodes will become. But the good news is the mating call only begins when the female goes through her awakening or she's close by.”

  After my explanation I tell the others that we must handle this carefully and form a solid plan so we put our heads together and start trying to figure this all out. For all we know she could be right under our noses, or she could be on the other side of the city. With the strength of our pain it's imperative that we figure it out. We have to find her and soon.

  Lilith

  Waking to my phone ringing I can feel the pounding in my skull (oh god, I feel like I've been hit by a fucking bus), I'm never touching a fucking drop of alcohol again. Picking up my phone I squint at the screen trying to make out the caller ID and to my surprise it’s an unknown number. Debating whether to pick up, my curiosity finally wins over. “Hello! Am I speaking to Miss Ashmedai?”

  “Umm, yes you are. May I ask who is calling?”

  “Yes, of course. My name is Lucien Salvador and I’m a lawyer at Abacus & Salvador Company. I would like to ask for a meeting with you. It's of great importance, though I can't say too much over the phone. I would be happy to explain to you in person if you're available to meet with me.”

  Oh god, what the fuck could a lawyer be getting in touch with me for? Did I do something I don't remember? Or maybe it's Justin trying to fuck with me, I know we're both on the lease for the apartment so maybe he wants to make clear who has the rights to be there? God, I just don’t fucking know, maybe my luck is turning and my ex-boss has referred me to another office. Realizing that he's waiting for an answer, I try to concentrate on the conversation even though my thoughts are going haywire. “I'll have to think about it, if that's alright Mr Salvador?”

  “Please call me Lucien! Yes of course I understand this is rather sudden and you may be confused about me calling you without being able to give much information to you. I’m free all day except for during the next hour with my next meeting if you do feel like dropping by.”

  He gives me the address to his office and we hang up. What the hell was that about? I just sit in bed for a few moments, wondering what could be so important that he would need to talk to me in person? There really is no point in me stressing myself out though, it’s not like sitting here overthinking it will get me any answers. I decide to get ready then go ask Gem for her opinion, I swear that girl is the brains of our operation.

  Getting off the bed, I skim through my things to choose an outfit for the day. It's not like I actually have much to choose from with most of my things still back at the apartment. I decide to just go for something comfortable.

  Picking up my good pair of black ripped skinny jeans (although there's more holes than material) black Vans that are in need of the bin with the state of the soles, a white t-shirt with the slogan ‘the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for’ with a cute little baby devil holding a pitchfork and my favorite red Adidas hoodie.

  I head into the bathroom to start my morning routine. You know, painkillers (for this killer hangover). Shower, skincare and then I brush my teeth, just the usual shit. Feeling a lot more refreshed I throw my outfit on, deciding to let my hair air dry since it's a warm day. I apply light makeup, just a little bit of eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. Finally ready to face the day I head downstairs to the kitchen and find Gem cooking breakfast.

  “Hey sexy lady, there's coffee in the pot. Help yourself.” She turns around to give me a shit eating grin while still flipping bacon. I swear this girl is going to cause herself a bloody injury, she may be brainy but who the fuck doesn’t pay attention while cooking with boiling oil. How can she be so goddamn bright and happy anyways, she should be suffering with me. Sisterly solidarity and all that.

  “How did you sleep? Feel any better about yesterday? If not, I can totally help you kick Justin's ass. You know we would make a great tag team.” She sends a wink my way and I can't hold back my laughter. This is why I fucking love my best friend, she always has my back when I need her. Gem is one of those friends that if I told her that I had killed someone she would help me get rid of the body and be my alibi.

  “Yeah I slept well and girl, he ain't even worth breaking a sweat over. Why should we lower ourselves to his level when karma is a bigger bitch than both of us combined and that's pretty fucking hard.”

  We both start chuckling as I fill two cups with coffee adding creamer and sugar. Setting
them down on her breakfast bar before getting out plates and cutlery and placing them at our seats. When I’m finished she starts loading up the plates and I’m gobsmacked at the amount of food she’s cooked and wondering where the fuck she puts it all yet still managing to maintain her amazing figure. The girl loves her food yet still looks fine as hell, I guess she's just lucky to be blessed with fantastic genes.

  “Well are you going to eat the food that I just slaved over, or are you going to stand there gawking?” Snickering, I walk over sitting down and nudging her good naturedly. “Bitch please, you know food is life. I'm just wondering if you have enough room for it all?”

  She playfully glares at me as we start eating, she has really outdone herself; everything is cooked perfectly, just the way she knows I like it. I've always been a quick eater and finish well before her. While waiting for her to finish so we can talk, I just sit back and sip on my coffee contemplating how to broach the subject with her so as not to make her panic. Once she's done eating she eyes me knowingly. I don't know how but she always knows when I've got something on my mind. She's like my own little baby yoda (the force is strong with this one).

  “What’s up hun, you've been staring at that black mark on my wall for the last five minutes? And I know it’s not that fucking interesting!” Sighing I brace myself as I decide that it’s best just to rip the plaster off and get on with it.

  “Well, I kind of got woken up by a strange phone call.” She gives me a quick glance before standing to clear the plates and loading the dishwasher trying to keep herself busy while I talk. “Who was phoning you this early? No offence but you’re jobless and manless. Why would anyone be trying to get in touch?”

  Glaring at her feeling bloody attacked I begin to wonder if she can really take this seriously enough to give me advice. “That's the strange part, it was some random lawyer. He said it’s about something important, but he couldn’t tell me on the phone.” She gazes at me like I'm finally losing my marbles and to be fair I’m starting to agree with her. I really can’t believe I’m going to assent to this meeting. I've always been told curiosity killed the cat and I've got to accept she’s right.

  “And what exactly did you say to the strange lawyer that's asked you to meet him without giving you a scrap of information?” I roll my eyes at her, I know that she’s only trying to look out for me but there's no need to be so condescending, hell her thoughts are probably as bad as mine are wondering if he's really some kind of a serial killer.

  “I told him I would think about it, he gave me the address and name of the firm. It's actually a few blocks from here.” I watch her out the side of my eye gauging her reaction and feel dread building inside me when she looks at me with wide eyes, almost dropping her cup. “Are you talking about the Abacus & Salvador Company?”

  She seems really intimidated which is making me think this really isn't a good idea, maybe they don’t have a good reputation or maybe they're dangerous. Whatever it is, her reaction is giving me a really bad feeling. “Yeah that's it but why do you look like you’re shitting a brick? He’s only a lawyer!”

  “Only a fucking lawyer! Oh my god, why aren't you shitting a brick? That's the best lawyer firm in the whole damn city! For a girl who worked in a law firm you’re pretty fucking clueless!” I gaze at her in surprise, I sometimes forget how brusque she can be. Now that she mentions it, the name does ring a bell. I'm pretty sure I heard something on the news recently about one of the partners of the firm but I can’t quite remember what it was. I'm not really sure why the top lawyer in the city wants to speak to me, but surely it isn’t going to be anything good.

  “Shit, now I really need to know what the hell this is all about. Do you think I should go, because right now it's one of those catch 22 decisions? I feel like I should but I'm so ready to freak out and you know how terrible things end up when I freak out!”

  Putting my head in my hands I wait to hear what she has to say, after a minute of silence I finally look up at her wondering why she’s left me hanging. Realizing I'm staring at her, Gem snaps out of whatever little world she's lost to.

  “Yeah, I think you should go but you ain't goin’ on your own. No way! I'm off work today, so I can come with you if you want. For moral support or just to get you the fuck out of there if need be!” Getting up I walk over to her pulling her into a tight hug, squeezing her like my life depends on it, this girl is really too amazing.

  “Yes please, I'd appreciate it. Do you want to get ready and we can head on over there? The sooner I get this over with, the better!” She squeezes me back as a huge grin spreads across her face. “Sure thing chica, I won't be long then we can leave.” Nodding, I watch as she walks away, this is going to be a long ass day.

  Lilith

  My eyes widen as we walk through the main doors of the lawyers’ building. This place is fucking huge and I've got absolutely no clue where I'm supposed to be going, couldn’t they put a sign up or some shit? Spotting a receptionist in the far corner of the room next to the elevators I take a deep breath before walking over to the desk with a tentative smile on my face.

  “Hello, I got a call this morning from Mr. Salvador. He should be expecting me.” She peers at me with disbelief, scoffing as I cower under her scrutiny. “Mhm, sure you did. Name please?”

  “Umm, it's Miss Ashmedai.” She turns to her computer and begins typing. There really was no need for her to be so fucking skeptical! I get that I don’t exactly look like I could afford to be a client here but her reaction is just plain bitchy. Whatever she finds must be enough though as she turns to me with a fake smile and a nod.

  “Yes, Mr. Salvador is expecting you. If you could head on up to the top floor and go to the waiting room which is the first door on your left. I'll call to let him know that you've arrived.” Letting out a sigh of relief I feel the tension leaving my shoulders. “Thank you, that's great.”

  Smirking at her I circle round walking to the elevators with Gem. Pressing the button I turn to her while waiting and I can see the anger on her face. Rolling my eyes at her outrage I look back at the receptionist. How could she be so rude? That’s not exactly a professional attitude to show a potential client.

  It takes a few minutes for the elevator to arrive then we step in. I press the button for the top floor and as the door closes behind I get a strange feeling that it’s a door closing to everything I've ever known. Gem turns to me snapping me out of my thoughts. “Well, she was a Grade A bitch! But anyway, how are you feeling? Are you nervous?” I giggle at her bouncing between subjects. It's something that she’s always done, you get used to it after a while. It’s just part of who she is and I love all her little quirks.

  “What do you think? I'm fucking shitting myself. I've no idea what to expect but my gut is telling me that this meeting is going to change my life forever.” Sighing, I look at her and see the worry lining her eyes. “Don't worry I'll be fine, how bad can it be?”

  Giving her a small smile as we reach the top floor we walk towards the waiting room, scanning the room around us in awe. This place screams money yet it's very minimalistic at first as it looks like any other waiting room with its simple cream walls with a few strategically placed chairs. The thing that stands out the most and let’s you know how much money this place makes is the art hanging on the walls and placed around the room. The company I worked for sure as shit couldn't afford all this.

  We look at each other in amazement as we sit down facing the door. This really wasn’t what I was expecting but I really should have known better with it being the top firm around. I'm quite literally shaking from the nerves running through my system and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Please God, make sure I don't destroy this expensive ass carpet that makes you feel as if you're walking on a fluffy cloud. I couldn't stand the embarrassment, plus I could never afford the fucking cleaning bill.

  While lost in my thoughts, one of the most handsome men that I've ever laid my eyes on walks into the room slouching slightly to f
it through the doors. My eyes widen as I look him over from the top of his hair, that looks like spun gold, all the way down to his very expensive leather loafers, with my gaze getting caught on his sharp cheekbones and strong jawline. His eyes are a lovely sky blue and his amazing plump lips that I can't help but think about kissing. He lets out a small laugh as he notices my shocked expression and my cheeks burn knowing that I've been caught staring.

  “Hello, you must be Miss Ashmedai? I'm Lucien. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. If you would follow me please, I'm sure you have lots of questions for me.” His voice reminds me of silk sheets and long pleasurable nights, causing a shiver to race down my spine. I would pay this guy to whisper sweet nothings to me.

  “U-Uhm yeah, that's me.” Asking Gem to wait for me here, I stand up following Lucien into a large office filled with beautiful dark wood furniture. Taking a seat in front of his desk I fidget with my hands as I watch him walk around it and take his seat.

  “Do you mind if I call you Lilith?” He asks with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. “Not at all, but I would really like to find out why you contacted me. I can't remember doing anything that would call for a lawyer getting involved.” He looks away and I notice he seems nervous to tell me anything. Starting to worry that it's something really serious, I can feel my heartbeat picking up.

  “Well, actually it's about your father, yo-” I cut him off as I start to feel the familiar anger take over. “I don't have a father, he lost the right to that title when he fucking walked out on me! He has never been a part of my life and I don't fucking want him in it now! I can’t believe the audacity of that man!”

  The cheek of him, he abandons me to years of abuse from my mother then has a lawyer get in touch like he gives a shit about me. I'm so taken over by my anger that I don't realize I'm already on my feet with fists clenched at my sides.