Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy)

by Paige Orr

  It's an empire style, floor length, crimson satin dress that has a deep v neckline that sits just above the belly button. Each side of the skirt has a slit that would just reach the top of my hips and it has no back, just delicate chains connecting both sides and in a halter style at the top. Immediately I'm in love! I usually would never even think about wearing something like this but you know what, why shouldn't I be able to feel sexy? It's about time I stopped caring about other people's opinions and learn to love myself again. How hard can it really be right? There are so many different types of beauty in this world, and I would rather be unique and happy than try to follow society's expectations. I'm going to live my life for me and no one else.

  Making my mind up I stroll into the shop without waiting for Gale and walk straight up to the dress. This is perfect. I don't even care how much it costs. This dress is who I want to be, a confident and sophisticated yet sexy woman. Believe me, this dress screams all of that. I look around for the store owner yet the only person I can see is Gale standing with a stupid grin on his face. I raise my eyebrow at his expression and he chuckles and begins to explain.

  "Don't look at me like that babygirl. This is one of my stores so I asked the manager to leave us alone while you choose some things you like. Once you’re done out here I've got a few things I've picked out in the back that I think would be perfect for you!" Wow, I stare at him stunned. I knew that he's a designer but I can't believe that the man standing in front of me has designed all of these delicate beauties. I mean that in the nicest way possible, he's just so fun-loving and a bit of a goofball. Once again it's like seeing another side to him, I'm afraid to admit that I like all these sides.

  Beaming at him, I spin in a circle looking at all of his beautiful creations. I love it all, there are dresses for every occasion and amazing tops, trousers and pant-suits. I excitedly run around picking out things that I like, like a kid in a candy store. While Gale watches in amusement. Finally when I’ve finished picking out everything, I turn to him.

  "How much does all of this come to? I don't want to go overboard with how much I buy. Even my walk-in closet only has so much space." The look he gives me is pure confusion. What part of that has him looking at me like I'm crazy?

  "Babygirl, you aren't paying for any of it. Now before you argue that you want to pay for it, just know it isn't happening. I brought you here to treat you, not take your money. Now, I picked out a few outfits for you myself so let's go check them out." I look at him in mock anger but I can tell he knows I don't mean it so I let a grin overtake my face. I follow him to the back of the store to find a full rack of outfits waiting for me. I just gape at it all, these are some of the most professional and sophisticated clothes I've ever seen. I run my hands along them and look back at Gale with a watery smile.

  "Alright, I'll take them but don't think everytime I go shopping with you that you'll be paying for it all. You got that mister?" Chuckling at me he calls who I assume is the shop manager and asks her to have everything delivered to the house. It's only then that I see he has picked out a load of underwear and lingerie for me. I feel my face flame, how in the hell does he know what size I am?

  Before I get the chance to ask, he's whisking me to the front of the shop and out the door. As we're walking down the sidewalk I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Freezing, I discreetly try to scan the surroundings to see what's put me on alert but can't find anything. Gale is looking at me in concern, so with fake cheerfulness in my voice I say to him.

  "I thought I could feel someone watching me. Don't worry I'm probably being paranoid after all of that prophecy talk!" He doesn't look like he believes me but thankfully he lets it go as we reach his car.

  Unknown

  I watch them as they leave his boutique and I can feel the anger rising inside me. Of all the people she could be surrounded by, it had to be these fuckers. Always thinking that they’re fucking better than me. They always have to get in the way! These bastards think they can keep her from me. That they can stop me from taking her power!I don't fucking think so. She's fucking mine! No one can fucking stop me!

  Taehyung

  I'm standing in the living room speaking with D, when Gale and Lilith return. I almost don't recognize her with her new haircut but it suits her perfectly. It's the perfect mix of sexy and serious, just like her. I turn to Gale and the look he sends my way has me going on alert. Noticing my reaction, D turns to them and freezes. We watch as Lilith goes upstairs with bags of clothes and Gale rushes towards us. At his serious look I know I'm not going to like what he says.

  "Dude, we might have a problem. After we left the boutique Lilith felt like she was being watched. She tried to play it off but I think we should trust her instincts, especially after everything we've found out. So even though she wants the two of us to go out on our own tonight, I think you should put some of the guys on us. Just as a precaution, you know?"

  Instantly I turn to D and nod my head. At my signal he stands up and walks away to make a phone call, and I turn back to Gale. "What about you, did you feel anything that would cause any suspicion?"

  He takes a moment to think before replying. "Actually before she pointed it out I didn't feel a thing but once she did I could definitely sense something. They must have been cloaked somehow because I couldn't tell what species was watching us, I didn't want to freak her out so I got us away from there straight away. You don't think her uncles have already sent someone after her do you?"

  Now that he mentions it, its got me thinking. "I suppose that is one possibility but with the power she exudes it could be anyone. Stay on your guard tonight and if you feel something even slightly suspicious you bring our girl home. We can't let anything happen to her."

  We stop the conversation as Lilith walks back into the room and plops down on the couch. She looks between us suspiciously before shrugging her shoulders. I walk over, sitting down beside her and she leans her head on my shoulder. "You guys totally could have warned me that Gale is a shopping fiend. I honestly feel like I participated in the fucking Olympics with how exhausted I am."

  I chuckle putting my arm around her shoulders, just breathing her in. I glance to Gale to find him lost in thought, it's not often that he isn't joking around. I have this nagging feeling in my gut that we should take Gale's advice and listen to her instincts. If we aren't careful, something bad could happen to her and I would only have myself to blame for not listening. I don't know what I would do if we lost her. In such a short time she has come to mean the world to me. You better believe I'll destroy anyone who lays a finger on her. She turns to me and asks me something but she's so close all I can concentrate on is her lips. Snapping out of it, I ask her to repeat herself.

  "Where did Demetrius disappear to, and where’s Sam? I haven't had the chance to say hello to them." She has the cutest little pout on her face and I can't control myself anymore. I go to give her a little peck but as soon as my lips touch hers I'm lost. I can tell how surprised she is to feel my tongue piercing and I smile through the kiss.I only stop when I hear a throat clearing behind me. As I pull away I notice that she's flustered with heavy-lidded eyes. With a cocky grin, I turn to find D standing there with a twinkle in his eyes, beaming at my loss of control.

  "That's all been set up and there shouldn't be any trouble." Once he finishes his statement he turns and pulls Gale from the room. Facing back towards Lilith, I find her trying to formulate a sentence and I reach out cupping her cheek in my hand. Finally figuring out what she wanted to say, she begins talking with that pout back in place.

  "You're so sneaky. I wasn't expecting you to kiss me. That's totally cheating!" I full out belly laugh at her statement. She's so fucking precious. Leaning forward I kiss her nose and it's me who gets surprised when she grabs my tie pulling my lips to hers. I let out a moan as her taste envelops me. She tastes of cherry blossoms in the spring, it's a taste I could so easily become addicted to.

  She pulls away with a sexy litt
le smirk and stands, walking out of the room, leaving me in a daze. That woman will be the end of me. As I stare into space not wanting to let go of the memory of her lips on mine, D walks back in cracking a smile at my expression. I just raise my middle finger at him and he chuckles.

  "Looks like our girl already has you wrapped around her little finger. Things are starting to get amusing around here, our controlled leader seems to be slipping." I guffaw at his words, yes she may have caught me off guard but it won't happen again.

  "Our naughty little kitten has claws but this big bad wolf knows how to make her submit." I stand fixing my tie and strolling past him. With a pat on the shoulder and a laugh. Reaching the kitchen I lean against the door frame, as I watch our girl with predatory eyes. While she fixes herself a sandwich talking to Gale.

  "So where are we going tonight? I don't want to be overdressed or underdressed and I'm not great with surprises either so you might as well just tell me. Or I could always make you tell me." I love how quickly she's becoming confident around us and it warms my insides knowing it means she trusts us. Gale chuckles at her, telling her they're going to a restaurant so she should just wear a simple dress. She skips towards him giving him a kiss on the cheek then heads towards me. As she passes by she slaps my ass and sprints away giggling.

  I look to Gale in shock. "Did the shy little kitten grow her claws while you guys were out, because I could swear she just spanked my ass on the way past." He grips his stomach as he laughs at me and I walk towards him. Huffing, I slap the back of his head.

  "Man, you should see your face! Who cares what brought her out of her shell, I'm just glad that she's comfortable around us now. You know, she was really freaked out earlier. So I'm just happy to see her smiling again." I nod my head at his statement, he has a good point. Now that she's more accepting of everything it makes our job of teaching her the way of our world a lot easier. Plus, it's always nice to know that she won't shy away from our touch.

  After chatting for about half an hour, Gale's eyes are drawn away from me and he lets out a small gasp. I turn to see what's caught his attention and find Lilith in the doorway. She truly is a sight to behold, wearing a simple white asymmetrical dress with lace work around the neckline. She stands a few inches taller in delicate ivory wedges. Her makeup is simple yet stunning, with a soft pink lip gloss and nude eyeshadow framing her stunning hazel eyes.

  She takes my breath away with how delicate she looks, and I feel all the blood in my body rushing straight to my cock. I imagine Gale is in much the same state as she shuffles from foot to foot. "Is this okay? You said simple and this dress has been calling to me since I unpacked the bags you brought home with us."

  I turn and watch as Gale jumps to his feet stalking towards her. He circles around her, looking at her from head to toe. Stopping at her back, he pulls her to his chest whispering in her ear. I watch enamored as her eyes drop to half mast and her mouth parts. Slowly a blush washes over her exposed skin and her breath catches. With a look of satisfaction on his face Gale turns, strolling out of the room.

  Slowly I approach her, tilting her face towards mine. "You look absolutely ravishing kitten. Gale is one lucky man to have you all to himself tonight." I look into her heat filled gaze and lean down, sliding my tongue across her lips and diving in for more of her taste. She moans, throwing her arms around my neck and pressing her breasts against my chest. This woman undoes me and I can't fucking wait for my turn to take her out.

  I walk her back until I have her against the wall and removing her arms from around my neck, I pin them above her head. She gasps as she arches her back and drops her head against the wall. I lose all control and begin to feast my way down her neck, alternating between kissing and biting her sensitive skin until my head is between her beautiful breasts. I slowly run my piercing along her flushed skin and watch as her whole body quivers. I lift my eyes to watch her expression and my breath catches at the lust I find there.

  I pull her away from the wall and into my chest. Wrapping one of her legs around my waist, I grind my cock against her slick heat. Losing myself in the feeling of her writhing against me. I'm about to pull her panties to the side and fuck her right then and there, until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I groan, pushing my face into the crook of her neck. I swear if this isn’t important, then whoever is behind me is a dead man.

  I turn, finding Gale leaning against the wall, amusement dancing in his eyes. Damn the cock blocking little shit. I sigh, letting our girl go before straightening her dress and spinning her towards Gale. Not saying a word I walk away to find my room and deal with this problem I've been left with.

  Lilith

  I watch as Tae walks away and I’m breathless. That was seriously the hottest thing I've ever done and it was only with one of these guys. How the fuck am I going to survive all four? On top of that, I can’t believe he has his tongue pierced! How the fuck did I never notice that while he was talking? I suppose it doesn’t really matter, what does matter though is the fact that it sent delightful shivers through my stomach. It was definitely a great surprise, all I’m going to be doing now is imagining all the things he could do with it. Gale grabs my hand and I turn back to him. He has a mysterious little smirk on his face and I feel my cheeks heating up. I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea that these guys are so accepting of seeing me with each other and not getting jealous. I suppose if all of us are happy with the situation then there's nothing wrong with it. Even if society tries to tell you how wrong and depraved a relationship like this is. As long as each member of a relationship is respected properly then how could it be so wrong? Shouldn't we do the things that we feel comfortable with? Life is all about doing the things that make you happy, not just blindly following society's guidelines.

  Gale pulls me from the kitchen and out the front door. We dont head to his car like I expect, but instead he takes me out of the gate towards a town car. He opens the door for me, once we're seated he tells the driver to go and I turn to him.

  “Please tell me we aren't going somewhere too fancy. I understand I'm now technically a millionaire but all that fancy shit just ain't me.” Chuckling, he pulls me into his side before telling me where we're off to.

  “Don't worry your pretty little head babygirl, we're going to one of my friends' restaurant, which is quite out of the way and pretty exclusive. Afterwards I thought I could take you to one of the supe clubs in the city. It should be a quiet night with it being a week day.”

  I smile at him gratefully as I snuggle in and look out the window. I suppose even supes have to work. Here I was thinking that they were all centuries old and would never dream of working. I suppose it would be pretty suspicious to be out spending loads of money without a cover though. Lost in thought, I don't realize we've arrived until Gale nudges my shoulder.

  When I turn around, I find a cozy little restaurant with around ten tables and five booths. He was definitely right about it being quiet, there are only seven tables with people seated at them. Gale exits the car and offers me his arm, which I gladly take. He carefully lifts me from the car and guides me inside.

  As soon as we walk through the door, a small handsome man runs over to us throwing his arms around Gale in a friendly hug. I stand there in shock and watch them animatedly talking together in fluent Spanish. I had no idea that Gale knew spanish but I suppose it makes sense. With the guys not aging, they must have to move around a lot.

  Finally noticing me, the man beams as he holds out his hand for me to shake. I smile back shyly as I take his hand and he begins to speak in rapid fire English. “Mi amor, my name is Adrian and it’s wonderful to meet you. You look absolutely beautiful. Mi amigo Gale was not lying when he was describing you. I’m so glad you could both come to my restaurant and I do hope you enjoy the ambience here. Now why don't we get you to your table, si?”

  With us agreeing he guides us to a booth in the back, which is one of the more private tables. Once seated, he hands us both a menu and strolls away
to check on his other guests. On our own now, Gale turns to me with a soft smile and grabs my hand running his thumb along the back. “What do you think babygirl, the food here's amazing and Adrian is a wonderful host.”

  I squeeze his hand, taking a moment to take in my surroundings before answering. “I love it, it feels intimate and it’s not too crowded. The decor is lovely as well, I really like the whole dark wood look they have going on.”

  He grins at me, pleased with my answer and we turn to our menus to choose what we want to eat. After a few moments, Adrian comes back to our table to take our order for our starter. We both choose the potato and chorizo soup, then for the main course, I order roast cod with paella and saffron olive oil, while Gale goes for the Spanish chicken pie. Finally, for dessert I go for chocolate and churros and Gale chooses chocolate filled miguelitos.

  We settle in to wait for our food and Gale starts to tell me all about his business. All of the famous people that he’s had the pleasure to design outfits for. He isn’t saying it in a boastful way, which is a lovely change. Seeing him taking something so seriously is so different from his usual joking self, but I like it. Seeing all the sides to him is rather refreshing and I know that we're going to have a wonderful first date.

  While we wait, I decide to tell Gale a little more about my life and the things I’ve experienced. When I get to the part about everything my mum and her countless partners have done to me, I watch as anger clouds his features. What he doesn’t understand is that I haven't told him any of this for his anger or pity but because I wanted him to understand my hangups a little better. The look he's giving me now just reminds me of the cruel words that Justin said to me when we broke up. I'm not some fucking broken damsel in distress, the whole point of reinventing myself is so that I don’t have to put up with these fucking looks. Lost in thought, I don't realize that his face has softened and that he's looking at me with an apology in his eyes. I get back on track when he begins to speak to me.