Good Morning Heartache

by Audrey Dacey

  “In and out,” she said aloud to herself. “I just need to get the drug and leave.”

  Alexis stepped out the car into the warm, humid air of the evening. It wasn’t even technically summer yet, but the heaviness of the season weighed on her. People always became a little crazy in the heat, and she was ready for the cool of autumn to bring back the sanity.

  She reached back into the driver’s seat to grab her cell phone, which had fallen out of her purse, and then turned toward the store. As she was about to take her first step, a strong hand wrapped around her left shoulder, pulling her back and then pushing her against her car. Alexis tripped over her feet in the swift movement and lost one of her sandals.

  “What the hell—”

  A hot, wet mouth covered hers. A rigid tongue assaulted all the corners of her mouth, and the more she tried to fight the heavy body pinning her against her car, the tighter he pushed against her.

  Her eyes shot open, and she stared at the familiar cheek of Richard Dunn. There wasn’t much else she could do. His large, muscular body was immovable. He was a lot stronger than she was, and even if she kneed him in the nuts, she wouldn’t be able to run away very fast with one flip-flop.

  Her body had gone rigid, and her fists were in tight balls by her side. She wasn’t much of a crier, but there was something about being completely taken over that brought a burn to her eyes.

  He licked the roof of her mouth and one of his hands that had been pushing her shoulder down now ran the length of her body. His breath was all mustard and onions. Alexis couldn’t help but gag. No one in this town would help her. They all would think this was her next conquest and would just be relieved it wasn’t one of their husbands.

  Then she felt the tingle of pressure fill her sinuses, and she knew that the inevitable would happen, and for the first time all afternoon, she welcomed it. She took in several quick breaths, squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and sneezed. God bless her allergies.

  Richard stumbled backward, wiping his face with his hands. Alexis could feel the tension fly out of her body as she inhaled, but it came back almost immediately.

  “What the hell, Alexis?” his gruff voice demanded. He was always very demanding. It had been one of the things that attracted Alexis to Richard originally, but turned out not to be an asset.

  “Excuse me?” She walked over to her lost sandal and slipped it onto her foot. Richard stepped toward her, and she scurried backward. “Don’t you dare.” Her voice was commanding and steady, but she felt shaky to her bones. She lifted her hand to show her white knuckles encasing her phone. “I know the members of the police force very well, and I recommend that you leave before they get here.”

  She continued to move backward, hoping she would reach the automatic doors soon. There was no one in the parking lot except her and Richard, but once she got inside the other people would offer her some protection just by being there. Of course his Mixed-Martial-Arts training would allow him to do whatever he wanted regardless of anyone around, if that’s what he decided to do.

  Richard narrowed his golden eyes at her as he closed the space between them. He should have been a drill sergeant, and she wondered if his temper was too hot even for the Army. He must have been Other-Than-Honorably Discharged for a reason. She just wished she had known that before she had to take out a restraining order, or, better yet, before she decided to go back to a motel room with him.

  “When are you going to come to your senses, Ms. Conner?” He grabbed for her hand, but she pulled it back and stepped inside the store.

  “When are you going to realize that I have?” Alexis turned around and headed straight for the allergy medicine. She sat on the floor in front of the Benadryl and Allegra and put her face in her hands. All her deep breaths couldn’t fill up the pit that had dug itself into her chest.

  She considered calling the police, but there wasn’t much they could do at this point, and they probably wouldn’t even come down right away. What the hell was the point of a restraining order if no one was going to restrain the guy?

  Richard was one of the ones that had confused her. She had done everything right with him, followed all of her rules, but everything went wrong. She initially enjoyed his straightforwardness; the forcefulness had made the sex angry and spontaneous, but satisfying. Now he was angry, spontaneous, and scary.

  Alexis shuddered and held her knees against her chest tightly. She took one more deep breath, grabbed a box of grape flavored tablets, and stood up.

  “In and out” was no longer her motto for this trip, fearing that Richard was waiting for her outside, so she grabbed a shopping basket and headed over to the lotion aisle to find something relaxing. Her life had puddled into a hot mess, and she at least wanted it to smell good.

  She sat down again, crossing her legs, and chose a bottle to sample. For a few minutes she just sat, smelling the artificial roses in the bottle.

  It wasn't until she heard the ding of someone entering that she glanced at her watch. She hadn’t realized just how long she had been sitting there, and the rumble of her stomach didn’t care that it was after seven, it only knew it was past dinner time.

  Alexis stood up and looked at the doorway. She was one of those people that had to look over the shoulder-high shelving to see who was coming and going. Upon seeing Ryan, she bent her knees and dropped to a low squat in one smooth movement.

  One stalker was enough for one evening, and she prayed that Ryan hadn’t seen her. The vacant glare of an obviously angry man with issues who didn't give her a kind eye when she looked hot didn’t need to see her when she was running around in something that could pass for PJs on a cooler night. Her nerves were still on high alert from her last encounter with a man, and though her nerves did something very different when Ryan was around, she couldn’t shake the feeling that his popping into her life here and there wasn’t a good or innocent thing. She figured she could wait there on the floor with all the wonderful smells until she heard another ding and saw him leave.

  A lemon-mint lotion, the cap of which Alexis had clicked open, distracted her at once and she was able to forget about Ryan for a moment. At least until his body was looming over hers. She looked up at him with wide eyes as her heart fell into her stomach, and a thick, coarse lump formed in her throat. She was not in the mood for another encounter with Ryan; she didn’t want to be around men at all right now. They were too much work, and she didn’t have the energy.

  She was surprised to find a smile on his face and in his glacier eyes when she looked up at him. Lifting herself out of the awkward position in which she had with great effort been holding herself and putting the lemon-mint lotion back on the shelf, she smiled a hesitant smile back at him.

  “You like lotion?” he asked, unflinching, as though it weren't an awkward way to begin a conversation.

  “I do,” she said, backing away from him slightly. Alexis liked to be close to men when she was trying to sleep with them. But right now she wasn't, and Ryan's tall stature, wide shoulders, and hard chest made her uncomfortable. She couldn’t imagine what he wanted. Okay, she could imagine, but she wasn’t in any place to oblige. She could still taste Richard’s kiss on her lips, and she wasn’t that slutty.

  “I'm here for toothpaste. I forgot to pack some, and the hotel's sample ran out this morning.”

  She wished she could brush her teeth to get rid of the taste of onions.

  “Okay,” she replied slowly. Then she added, “Do you need me to point you in the direction of the toothpaste? ‘Cause they have people here who can do that.” A strand of hair had come loose at her temple, and she tucked it behind her ear.

  Ryan was making her feel small and delicate. Those were things she didn't like feeling, and she was suddenly wishing that she was at home with her sister.

  Ryan stood in a defensive position, his hands in his pockets. His thumbs were looped through the belt holes of his neatly pressed charcoal dress pants, and the violet button up he wore brightened his blue e
yes. The shirt was tucked, but the collar was unbuttoned and the wrinkles around his neck let her know that a tie had been removed. He looked less severe than when she saw him at Caitlyn’s. It didn’t put her at ease. It was like she was seeing something she shouldn’t. As his eyes took her in, she felt pin pricks along the length of her body.

  “No, I don't need anything from you. I just thought I would say 'hi.'“

  “Okay…hi, then.” Could this be the same guy with whom she exchanged witty banter last weekend? Why was he saying anything to her? Alexis was unsure of what was happening here, but she knew that she couldn't escape. Again. When she glanced behind her, she saw that a woman had parked her cart perpendicular to the aisle. Her only exit was blocked completely, and there was no way she could get past the figure in front of her if he didn’t want her to. She regretted leaving home that evening and wished she had just ordered a pizza and had a glass of wine.

  “Are you okay, Alexis?” he asked as though he cared. He raised his hand to comfort her, but she rolled her shoulder back, avoiding his touch. She could still feel the pressure of Richard’s grasp.

  “I should be getting home to my sister. The food is in the car.” It wasn't a lie. Though her sister probably wasn't there, and wouldn't be for several hours, and the food was cold cuts that would survive a few more minutes while she had an awkward conversation with Ryan. Still, she didn’t feel like it was necessary to share all of this information. In fact, she didn’t want to share anything with him. She glanced out through the glass doors at the front. She didn’t see Richard, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t there. She looked back up into Ryan’s cool eyes.

  “Okay.” He paused and still didn’t move. “But before you go, I also wanted to apologize for Monday. I was really into my work. When I get like that, in the planning zone, I can come off as a…”

  “An ass. You were an ass.” She finished for him, crossing her arms over her chest. She bit her lip hard, waiting for his reaction. She needed to stop pissing off people who were bigger than her.

  But Ryan didn’t look angry. He gave a half smile and looked away. “Yeah. Anyway. It wasn't anything personal. I'm just not great with people when I'm working.” Ryan stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at his feet as he spoke the last sentence.

  She was suddenly disarmed by his sheepish body language, and what he was saying wasn’t creeping her out. Even though he was almost a foot taller than her and could body check her in one quick movement, she was pretty sure he was too tame to do it. “Don't you work with a lot of people as an architect?”

  “When they talk about work, it's not a big deal. It's when other things come up. I'm just not in the social mood when I’m working. I'm better outside of the job.”

  Alexis made a twisted faced as she battled with herself. He now seemed more delicate than she was, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Before she could really consider it, she said, “You were creeping me out. You came over here asking about lotion, trapping me in this aisle, and it was awkward, and sudden, and unpleasant. It was a weird combination of a come on and the freaky guy who talks to bushes.”

  Ryan stared into her eyes without any expression and then sighed. “Really?”

  Alexis nodded, a little peeved that he hadn’t taken her less-than-subtle hint and moved out of her way. “Last weekend you weren’t this bad, and of course, I don't know how you are at work,” she added, trying to be encouraging.

  “I have reason to believe that I am actually not that much better.” He tilted his head back and focused on the ceiling. Alexis couldn’t help but notice the long, lean lines of his body, the clean trim of his beard, and the tightness of his tense forearms. It was a shame that a man as good looking as Ryan was unable to strike up casual conversation in a drugstore with someone who wasn’t altogether a stranger.

  “You know you're pretty good when you're on the defensive,” she remembered aloud. “When I came up to you at the wedding and when you sat down at breakfast the next day, you participated in some pretty advanced colloquy.”

  Ryan warmed her with a smile. She forgot for a moment that she wasn't wearing makeup or anything sexy, and she let him make her feel precious. It wasn't something she was in the habit of letting men do, but it wouldn’t hurt for a few seconds. If he’d shut up and smile, he’d seem perfect to anyone with eyes. Well, at least to anyone with a vagina.

  “You know, you're right. There's something about your abrasiveness that sets me at ease.” He ran his eyes over her body sending warmth to the parts he eyed. “You don’t appear as abrasive tonight. Maybe that's why I came off as awkward at first.”

  No one had ever called Alexis abrasive. She thought that she came off as confident, sexy, and occasionally brazen, but not in an aggressive way. At least not an aggressiveness that wasn’t appreciated later.

  “I'd like to have dinner with you,” he spoke, suddenly confident.

  “What? Why?” She was truly taken aback by the statement, and the little hairs along her spine rose to standing.

  “I need to practice being socially competent. I think that you would be great to practice with.” Alexis glanced behind her to see if the woman with the obstructive cart had left, but she had moved only slightly toward the end of the aisle, not giving her an out.

  “We had a deal. No strings. I don't date.” She grabbed the blue hand basket she had set on the floor in the middle of the aisle and began backing away.

  “It's not a date. It's dinner. Between two friends of friends, so one of them can practice social skills.” His tone was disarming, but Alexis couldn't help but feel like he was tricking her.

  Despite the fact that she was moving backward, Ryan didn't move forward. He held his ground, so she stopped moving and said, “It sounds like a date. I don't date. What about lunch? Lunch is friendlier.”

  “As you pointed out, I'm an ass during the work day. Remember? Give me a fighting chance at making reasonable conversation.”

  Alexis laced both arms through the basket and held it high to her chest. “I don't think so. It's been really nice talking to you again, but I’m going to go now.”

  To her surprise, Ryan moved out of her way.

  Why did men have to do this? She wasn't a great person. She made that abundantly clear, at least she thought so. Why did they want to date her?

  “We'll go early. 5:30.” He called after her, but Alexis kept walking. “To McDonald's.”

  Alexis turned on her heel to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “McDonald's?”

  “Absolutely. In separate cars.” He ran a hand through his dark locks and scratched the back of his neck.

  She considered him with a narrowed gaze for several moments. He didn’t seem dangerous, but neither had Richard. “There's one on the 68 in Gardner. If you're not there by 5:35, I'm leaving.” She wasn’t sure why she said it, but now that she had, she was going. Whether she liked it or not.

  “Deal.” He smiled again, but this time, she shivered.

  “See you tomorrow then.” She turned and walked out of the aisle, questioning herself as to how he was able to penetrate her defenses so well. There was something about this man that intrigued her, and that was dangerous. From the moment she chose him at the wedding reception, she knew he was a threat to her rules and restrictions, but she had ignored the little voice inside her telling her “no”. For whatever reason, she ignored it again tonight.

  §

  It was a date. It had to be a date because that is what he was dared to do. He didn't want to do it and figured he could be enough of a hermit in this small town that avoiding her for the remainder of his stay would be easy. Of course that plan involved him remembering to pack his toothpaste.

  He headed toward the back of the store in the direction opposite the way Alexis had gone. Apparently he was creepy, so he probably shouldn’t follow her even if it was the fastest way to the oral hygiene aisle.

  Ryan almost walked out of the store when he saw Alexis's chocolate brown pony tail
flop below the top of the shelves, but he didn't go back on his word. If there was one thing he learned from his parents, it was that.

  It would have been tricky to avoid her when she came back for the dog food, but the following Monday was Memorial Day and the crew wouldn't be working, so he had planned to go back to the city for a few days and not return until she was long gone with the chow. But now, why waste the gas?

  Ryan hadn't wanted to accept the dare, and he didn't need to be reminded that his social skills were crap. The fact that he wasn’t promoted was all the reminder he needed, but it wasn’t the only one he had. With the exception of Alexis, he hadn't had sex in almost a year. As great as Alexis was, she couldn't make up for several months of celibacy.

  Ryan meandered through the drugstore, looking up at the signs that swayed from the ceiling in the breeze from the air conditioning vent. Taking his time, he finally found the toothpaste aisle and carefully considered the brands and flavors. Really, there were only two flavors, at least two acceptable flavors, and the name on the tube that he squeezed the paste out of didn't matter. But it was better to stall, so he considered his options. Another encounter with Alexis tonight was out of the question, and if he hung out in the toothpaste aisle for long enough, there wouldn't be much of a chance of that. Everything about her body language had told him that she was desperate to get away from him.

  He wasn't sure what he did wrong, but he was pretty sure he did something. That was the worst part of his awkwardness. He never knew he had said something stupid until it was too late. It didn't hit him until that moment that the exchange in the lotion aisle painted him an idiot.

  Ryan ran his long fingers through his hair. He could feel the stiffness of the gel, but it was soft from hours of combing his hands through it with frustration. And today was less frustrating than most.