Of Curses and Kisses

by Sandhya Menon

  Kiran frowned slightly, and for a moment Jaya was afraid he was going to tell her he’d already told Caterina. But then he nodded. “Yes, I suppose that’s fine. But that reminds me, I did want to get your input on the invitations. I really feel the font for my name should be very slightly larger than the one for yours. The Hegde name…”

  Jaya let out a breath and sagged against her dresser as he continued to speak.

  * * *

  Jaya smoothed down her flapper dress—a pale green number with fringey beads hanging off the ends—and adjusted her gold carnival half-mask. The fact that it covered the top half of her face made her feel a bit more cushioned from the world at large, as if it might help disguise the pain in her eyes. She’d paired her dress with tights and ankle boots, but she was still desperate to get on the yacht, where it would be warmer. The car service had dropped her off as close to the marina as possible, which was still too long a walk in the biting air. She wasn’t even sure why she was here when she could be ensconced in her room, eating ice cream and reading a book. Suddenly cozying up to Caterina didn’t seem that important. Jaya just wasn’t in a glitzy party mood. After what had happened with Grey and her fight with DE… she would feel more at home at a funeral.

  Twenties-era music played energetically off Lake Rosetta. She couldn’t see the yacht yet; there were too many pine trees in the way. Jaya glanced down at her ruby pendant. It didn’t really go with her outfit, but she’d worn it out of some stupid sense of nostalgia for a time when Grey and she… Anyway. She frowned. Two more rubies had fallen, bringing the total to six remaining; fewer than half the original number. Were they falling faster now than they had before? And a thought crept into her mind—Grey’s eighteenth birthday was soon. But that was silly. The one had nothing to do with the other.

  She rounded a bend and was completely distracted by the vision in front of her eyes.

  Lake Rosetta stretched before her, dark and vast and milky with thin patches of ice. The yacht was a 90-foot behemoth, and it had been dressed up for the occasion. Small, intimate tables on the deck were covered in glittering gold tablecloths. Twinkling strands of lights hung from every spare surface. Guests—all in costume—milled about with coupe champagne glasses and long cigarette holders, giving the impression that they really had been transported to the 1920s.

  Jaya climbed aboard the yacht, the musty scent of the lake air tangling with her clothes.

  Caterina’s people had done a spectacular job. This dripping-with-lights-and-sparkles setup looked less like a gala and more like they’d time-hopped back to a plush speakeasy for twenties-era celebrities.

  Jaya spun in a slow circle, drinking it all in, and came to a stop to find two lupine blue eyes watching her.

  Grey

  Grey had had plans to sequester himself somewhere, drink a few Cokes (which were being served in the original glass bottles), and then leave early. The only reason he was here was because DE and Leo had begged and begged, unrelenting, and he didn’t have the energy to fight with them any longer. They were hoping that he and Jaya would begin speaking again, he knew. He might’ve tried to fight his feelings for a while, but apparently they were no secret to the others.

  Then he saw her. Like a twenties film star, in her green dress, her ornate half-mask, and her hair in waves. She hadn’t seen him yet; she was marveling at the yacht, how it was done up. Watching the naked awe on her face, the way she loved these social shindigs in a way he could never begin to understand, Grey was sure there was an iron fist around his heart, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing.

  It took a moment, but then she turned, and their eyes met. Her face lit with joy for a brief microsecond, only to be immediately replaced by… sadness.

  Sadness?

  Not irritation or weariness or, even worse, indifference, but sadness. But why would she be sad when she was the one who’d broken up with him? They kept staring at each other, neither able to look away.

  Grey wanted to cinch his arms around her waist and press his mouth to hers. He knew what she’d taste like: heartbreak and hunger, regret and reconciliation.

  He’d barely finished the thought when someone shoulder-checked him. He automatically grabbed the person’s arm—they were a few inches shorter than him—before noticing it was Alaric.

  “Watch where you’re going,” the dude practically sneered. The way he was looking at Grey made it obvious it hadn’t been an accident.

  Grey’s anger surged, making him feel more alive than he had in weeks. He tightened his grip on Alaric’s arm, taking note of the glass of scotch in his right hand. “Don’t push me, Konig.”

  Suddenly Jaya was at his side, looking between them, her eyes wide. “Why don’t we all—”

  “Jaya and Grey!”

  They turned to see Caterina bustling toward them, wearing a very slinky black-and-gold dress. Alaric tossed a last sneer at Grey as he roughly pulled away and then disappeared through the crowd. Grey heard Jaya breathe an audible sigh of relief at Caterina’s approaching form, and glanced at her. She looked up at him, a tentative smile at her lips.

  But before he could say anything, Caterina was upon them. Grey frowned. Her skin was too pale, her face too thin. Grey wasn’t one to care about such things, but Caterina’s appearance was gossip fuel at St. R’s. If things were going well with her and Alaric, she was pink-cheeked and bright-eyed. When they fought (which, let’s be honest, was pretty frequently), she became gaunter and gaunter until they got back together.

  Grey had always wondered what Caterina saw in Alaric. The dude was kind of a loser. The way he openly stared at other girls even when he and Caterina were walking together always set Grey’s teeth on edge.

  “Hi, Caterina,” Jaya said, and the girls air-kissed.

  Caterina turned a cold smile on them both. “Thank you for coming.”

  “Thank you for inviting me.” Jaya was obviously very good at playing Caterina’s game. “This is such a wonderful thing you’re doing for charity,” she added warmly.

  Caterina’s smile turned ostentatious. “Well, I am set to raise more money tonight than any single person has ever done for One World. It’s going to be wonderful PR for my father’s company.” Grey thought there was something stilted about the way she said it, as if it were vital that they got that she was doing this only for the publicity. Which was strange. In Grey’s experience, it was the opposite: most wealthy people wanted to show what great philanthropists they were and pretended not to care about the publicity, even though they secretly craved it.

  Jaya nodded seriously. “Of course. I understand.” She looked around, smiling. “This yacht is so splendid!”

  Caterina’s smile was back, a complacent thing that barely touched her lips. “It is, isn’t it? All the decor, down to the tablecloths, was my idea. The event planner wanted to go with plain black, but I told her she was ridiculous.”

  Jaya glanced at Grey and bit the inside of her cheek, as if she was trying not to laugh. Grey covered his answering smile with a hand, pretending he had an itch on his chin. For a moment it was like they were… them again. “That’s… yes, absolutely ridiculous,” Jaya said finally.

  “Stay for the fireworks,” Caterina said airily. “They start at nine and they’re going to be absolutely magnificent.”

  Rahul came walking up, looking like he was wearing a much bigger guy’s suit, although Grey knew for a fact that he’d had it tailor-made. Somehow it seemed to swallow him. His gaze lingered on Caterina. “Hello, Caterina.”

  Caterina barely spared him a glance. “Hello, Rahul. Enjoying the party so far?”

  “Absolutely. Although I feel I must tell you, there’s something wrong with the peach juice. It’s a little bitter. And carbonated. I’m not sure how that happened.”

  Caterina looked at him as if he’d just told her he’d bought a knockoff Gucci handbag. “Those are bellinis. Fresh-squeezed peach juice mixed with Armand de Brignac—champagne.”

  Rahul’s ears turned a shade
of red that Grey had never seen before. “R-right, no, I—I thought it, ah, well, I should…” And then he just walked off.

  “Anyway,” Caterina said, turning back to them. “I better go! There’s a reporter here from one of the nationals, and Alaric made me promise I wouldn’t forget about having our picture taken. He tends to get lost without me. Ta!” She turned, shoulder blades like glass shards poking out of her back, and sashayed off.

  They watched her go for a moment, then turned to each other again, as if on cue. Jaya raised a hand, as if to touch him, and then dropped it again. Grey gazed into her brown eyes behind the gold carnival half-mask she wore, soft and glowing once again with sadness. “Hi,” he said.

  She swallowed and pushed the mask up to the top of her head. “Hi.” She gestured to the suspenders and twenties bowler hat DE had insisted he wear. “You look really nice.”

  “I look like a jackass.”

  Jaya’s mouth twitched. “No one could ever say you were disingenuous.” He didn’t smile. “How are you?” Jaya asked, her voice just a breath. A soft breeze off the lake wrapped them up in its cold arms.

  “Do you really care?” Grey asked roughly.

  She looked stricken. “Of course I care.”

  He believed her. She cared. She still… cared. “Then… then why?” Grey asked, shaking his head, just as a group of extremely loud couples walked past them, jostling them both, pushing them closer together.

  Jaya put a hand on his chest to steady herself and then jerked back, as if he were hot to the touch. She looked at him, her mouth working, no sounds actually escaping it. It seemed to Grey that she wanted to talk but that she couldn’t find the words to say.

  He pointed to a far corner of the yacht’s deck. “Do you want to go down there? It’s a bit quieter.”

  After a long pause, during which he fully expected her to say no, she nodded.

  They walked past all the laughing, chattering people to the northern corner, which was mostly deserted. Grey watched as Jaya walked up to the railing, closing her eyes against the stiff breeze coming off the water. Her wavy hair undulated, kissing her cheeks and collarbone. She’d put something glittery on her eyelids, and they sparkled like twin stars.

  As he joined her, he had a sudden aching need to put his arm around her, to feel her lay her head on his chest. She’d fit perfectly there. “So, tell me,” he said, instead of saying the hundred other things he wanted to say. “You still care about me?”

  Jaya turned to him, unaware of his clamoring thoughts. “Grey,” she said, glancing down for a moment. “I shouldn’t. I can’t talk about this with you.”

  He swallowed. “Two weeks ago you were kissing me, Jaya. And from what I could tell, you were really into it.”

  She flushed and cupped her neck with a small hand, looking away.

  “Well, weren’t you?” he pressed when she didn’t respond.

  “Yes,” she said quietly. “Yes, I was.”

  Grey loomed over her, his hand clamped around the icy metal railing so he wouldn’t be tempted to grab her wrist and pull her to his chest. “So if that wasn’t an act and you still care, then… then why can’t we be together? That’s all that matters, Jaya, that we feel the same way about each other.”

  She looked at him, a desperate fire in her eyes. “But it’s not all that matters, Grey. Not for me. Family and dynasty have to come first. I have a duty toward my—toward the Rao name. And right now it’s imperative that I fulfill that duty.”

  “And it’s that easy for you,” Grey murmured, leaning even closer. She blinked but didn’t move back. Her breathing was faster, coming in short, shallow gasps. His eyes searched her face. “It’s that easy for you to walk away from me.”

  Jaya

  If he kissed her, she wouldn’t turn away. It was madness, it was thoughtless, it would be the most brazen act to do it here, on a yacht that belonged to Caterina. Caterina, who was Kiran’s friend and just happened to hold a grudge against Jaya. But if Grey kissed her, Jaya would lean in and kiss him too, hungrily, desperately, like the world was ending. Looking into his searing blue eyes, Jaya wanted to do nothing more than wrap her arms around him, to press her body against his.

  And then Caterina would see, and she’d tell Kiran, and Kiran would call off the engagement. That would finish off the Raos; there would be no coming back from it. There was only one ending to this story of her and Grey together, and it involved the complete destruction of her world.

  Jaya stepped back from him as if she’d been shocked. What was she thinking? What was she even doing here?

  “Jaya!”

  Jaya spun from the railing, guilt and fear flaring through her, expecting to see Caterina. Instead, she saw Daphne Elizabeth clomping her way across the deck in the high-heeled button-boots, unsteady on her feet.

  “H-hello, Daph,” Jaya said, stealing a glance at Grey, who was glowering at the girl.

  Daph looked from her to Grey. “So you guys are talking again?”

  Jaya opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came. Grey was silent beside her, no help at all.

  Daph waved a hand. “Okay, I get it. You don’t want to tell me. Doesn’t matter, because I have s-something important to say.” Holding her drink aloft, Daph clumsily wedged her way between Jaya and Grey, who looked like he wanted to throw her overboard. “Move, Grey, jeez. You can bone Jaya later.”

  “We were in the middle of something, DE,” Grey bit out.

  “I’ve finally decided,” Daph said, ignoring him. Her vowels were all slurred and running together. “You were right this whole time, Jaya.” She thrust her coupe champagne glass in the air, and some pale pink liquid sloshed off the side, but she didn’t notice.

  “Decided what?” Jaya asked, unable to help herself.

  “I’ve been a complete fool. He’s walking around with her like they’re a—a couple! They walked right by me and neither of them so much as looked at me.” Daphne Elizabeth’s eyes were pink around the edges. “I’m not just some… some doll he can toss aside when he’s done playing with it. I have self-respect. Even if I haven’t been acting like it.” She hugged Jaya. “You’re a real friend for telling me what I needed to hear, Jaya. I appreciate it.”

  Grey sighed and ran a frustrated hand over his face.

  Jaya purposely avoided looking at him. “Ah, I’m happy for you, Daph. Really. Alaric’s not even worth bothering with. But perhaps we could talk about this—”

  Daph gave her a look. “Oh, I’m bothering with him all right. I’m going to go up there and talk to him and Caterina right now.”

  Jaya felt her pulse kick up a notch. “You can’t do that,” she said, grabbing Daph’s arm. “Daph. This is Caterina’s event. Firstly, you can’t ruin it for her like that. And secondly—”

  “She’ll rip your hair right out of your scalp and use it as tabletop decor,” Grey added gruffly.

  Jaya shot him an exasperated glance and turned back to Daph.

  “I’m not looking to ruin Caterina’s night. But I’m tired of just sitting around waiting for one of them to acknowledge this. If not now, then when? I just have to get it over with. We’re all here, I’ve had some liquid courage. It’s now or never. And I know me. If I wait, I’m going to let him sweet-talk me tomorrow. I need to just do it. Right now. Thanks, Jaya. I’d never have done this without your help.” She began to walk off.

  Jaya turned to Grey. “I have to go.”

  He studied her. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No,” Jaya said, trying hard to keep the regret out of her voice. “I’d better do this alone.”

  They glanced at each other for a long moment, the music and laughter from the other parts of the yacht fading. Then Grey nodded, once, and stepped back. Jaya swallowed a lump in her throat. They’d never speak like this again. Of that she felt sure. Before she could change her mind, she turned and hurried after Daphne Elizabeth.

  * * *

  Daphne Elizabeth’s legs were quite a bit
longer than Jaya’s. Standing at the bottom of the metal stairs, Jaya saw the skirt of her burgundy dress disappearing into the top floor. Cursing softly under her breath, she ran up the stairs, dodging couples and their various twenties accessories.

  The warm upper level was crowded; it was where the items for the silent auction were arranged grandly on a table: a ski trip for two to Aspen, an all-expenses-paid stay at a Tuscan villa, a collection of gilded Fabergé eggs. Jaya would catch sight of Daph’s burgundy dress only to lose it again as she wove in and out of the swarm of people milling around in the middle, considering what they might bid on, or clustered around the edges by the windows, taking in the glittering view of Aspen across the water.

  Then she saw Alaric’s head—bobbing above the rest of the crowd as usual, his thick blond hair gelled within an inch of its life. Jaya began to push her way through the crowd, really digging in with her elbows when people wouldn’t move. Amma would be aghast at her unseemly behavior, but this was important, dammit.

  “Ouch!”

  “Excuse me!”

  “Hey, where’s the fire, darlin’?”

  Jaya ignored all the indignant shouting and kept her sights focused on Alaric’s stupid, tall hair. She could not believe Daphne Elizabeth. Jaya was never, ever giving anyone relationship advice ever again.

  She pushed her way through the small bubble of people congregated in front of Caterina and Alaric just in time to see Daph stride up to them, her head held high.

  “Caterina, we need to talk,” Daph said, but neither of them heard her. They were both deep in conversation with Alaric’s lackey, Lachlan, and another senior girl, Spencer, Alaric’s hand resting lightly on Caterina’s lower back.

  Jaya lunged forward and grasped at Daph’s arm, but it was too late. Daphne had already said, in a louder voice, “Caterina. We need to talk.”

  It worked. Caterina and Alaric turned. Alaric’s smile slid off his face at the same time his hand slid off Caterina’s back. Caterina’s expression cooled a few million degrees. “Please excuse us,” she said graciously to Lachlan and Spencer, who exchanged glances and went on their merry way, probably to spread the news that there was A+ gossip fodder sprouting on the upper level.