“Elias,” she says with a sigh. That’s all I need to hear to know absolutely nothing is happening in this shower. Her sigh says it all.
That’s perfectly okay, but I need one thing at least. I dip my head and allow my lips to caress hers, slowly and lightly at first and then harder and deeper as my tongue slips inside her mouth. A kiss is all I want. One simple kiss. She’s tense at first, possibly thinking that I’m ignoring what my sighed name obviously meant, but I keep my hands on her waist and my body as still as possible to show I don’t want to move things further. Raelynn slowly relaxes as she grips my arms and begins to lean into to me.
That’s when I pull away. “We need to open our own presents anyway.”
She sighs again, but there’s the tiniest of smiles on her face. Her arms fall from around my neck, she swivels to turn off the water, and then we’re stepping out of the shower. Soon, after a quick trip downstairs, saying goodnight to my family, and peeking in on Bree to find her awake, I carry presents into my room and place them on my bed before going back for Bree.
She reaches for Raelynn, who now sits on the bed and shakes her head. “What if I still have Jackson’s germs on me?”
I roll my eyes. “Then you need to learn how to shower better. You should be fine, and she wants you.”
Bree sits in her lap a moment later. “I missed you too, ladybug,” Raelynn whispers to her.
“Okay, stop the love fest. We have presents to exchange. Do you want to go first?”
“You first.”
For a moment, I watch her. Bree leans back against her chest, her tiny fingers clutching Raelynn’s, her little feet crossed at the ankles, and Raelynn has her head bent, smiling down at my princess who smiles up at her. The two of them together are too much.
I grab a random present addressed to me from both Raelynn and Jackson. I open the assortment of gifts, all of which I love, and thank her for them. Bree has fallen asleep with her head tilted off to the side when it’s Raelynn’s turn. My presents for her are all centered around ways she can treat herself. That’s something she doesn’t do nearly enough, so I’m helping her out.
“A present from Jackson?” she questions, her throat clogging immediately.
“Yeah. Maybe we should wait until morning, so he can be here for this.”
She hasn’t even opened it yet and she’s already crying. “So he can see me be a mess?”
“Yep.”
“When did he get me this?”
“We took advantage of our time together while you were on your date with Collin. He did everything all on his own, too.”
Raelynn shakes her head as she stares at the wrapped present in wonder. “I’m going to ugly cry, aren’t I?”
“Maybe.” She will. If she cried just seeing that he got her a present, she’s definitely going to cry when she opens his gifts. I take the present and place it on my nightstand for now. “We should lay her back down.”
“I’ll do it.” Raelynn leaves the room with my daughter and returns a minute later to crawl directly on top of my body. “Thank you for my gifts. You’ve spoiled me, Elias.”
“You deserve it as my nanny, my friend, and my girlfriend.”
She grins. “You’re being handsy, Elias.” Just a little. My hands glide from her shoulders, down her back, along the curve of her ass, down the back of her thighs, and back up again. “I don’t mind, though, because guess what?”
“What?”
She leans down, kisses my jaw, my neck, and then whispers in my ear, “I locked the door when I came back from Bree’s room.”
My hands freeze where they currently are on the back of her thighs. “You did?”
Raelynn nods, her hands slipping underneath my shirt and roaming over my chest and stomach. She kisses me with such need, all thoughts collapse and I match her feeling for feeling, movement for movement. It’s moments like these when I know Raelynn is perfect for me just as much as I’m perfect for her. When words don’t have to be said. When together, we react seamlessly without thought to pleasure one another, exacerbate our already heightened senses, and to use this sensual manner to tell one another how we feel.
Afterward, she places a sweet kiss on my cheek and curls into my side. Raelynn hides her face in my shoulder, her lips brushing against my skin as she whispers, “I think my gut is finally trusting and believing in everything here with you.”
“About time,” I whisper back, causing her to laugh a little. I can officially go to sleep with a smile on my face.
In the morning, I hold Bree in my arms and lean against the doorframe while Raelynn crawls into bed with a grouchy Jackson. He’s feeling worse today; good thing she’s taking him to the doctor as soon as Henry gets here. In the meantime, she opens her presents from him. My family is downstairs cooking breakfast, but no way am I missing this.
“What if you don’t like it?” Jackson asks with fear just as Raelynn reaches to tear the wrapping paper.
“I will love it because the best son in the world gave it to me.” She kisses the top of his head and tears into the present.
The gift box holds a homemade picture frame that was an absolute bitch to make, but Jackson had fun making it. Jackson also wanted to give his mom a necklace and we were able to order one online. It is the typical heart with “mom” inside, but it’s what he wanted to get her. Lastly, Jackson painted her a picture, but there’s also a “painting” from Bree. She had an absolute blast getting messy with finger paints, but it was not fun cleaning up or making sure she kept the paint only on her hands and away from her face.
Raelynn’s tears are steady and her smile is huge. “I love it, Jackson. Thank you so much.” She sets the items aside to bear hug him.
Asking him if he wanted to give his mom a present that day we were tree shopping was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Her smile proves it.
Jackson did have strep. Elias’s family went home. I trusted Henry to take care of Jackson while Elias and I went car shopping, where we did find a new vehicle for me. Elias left for a game, returned, and now, today, I have an appointment with that lawyer Sylvia recommended. It’s Friday and there’s a game tonight. Jackson feels better and he’s excited because not only are we going, but Henry is coming as well. But first, I have to meet with the lawyer.
And I do. Not with his assistant. Not with someone else in the firm, but with the head honcho. Color me impressed. Not only impressed, but I really liked him. He’s everything I could want in a lawyer. He seems ready to fight, if needed, for what I want in this situation, what’s best for Jackson, and while lawyers may not have the greatest rep in the world, he has an almost honest air about him. I want him.
Too bad it won’t happen.
“How did it go?” Elias asks the moment I walk into the living room. I feel bad for leaving the kids with him when he’s supposed to be having his pre-game nap, but he didn’t mind.
“It won’t work out.”
“Why?”
I sit next to him, smile a little as Bree crawls into my lap, and kiss Jackson on the top of his head since he’s on the other side of me. “He’s great and I really liked him.”
Elias frowns. “Then what’s the problem, Raelynn?”
“You pay me well, Mr. Bertuzzi, but you do not pay me anywhere near enough for me to afford him.” Elias stares at me for a moment, so I look at Bree, who grins. She talks her baby talk and a Wey slips out.
“Call him and tell him he’s hired, Raelynn,” Elias says, garnering my attention once more.
“But—”
“Call him,” he repeats.
“You aren’t—”
“Call him,” he says for a third time. “I’ll help you. You can accept it as a gift or figure out a way to pay me back, I don’t care, but if you like him and you want him, then call him.”
My heart rams into my ribcage like a bull trying to escape its pen as I stare at him. I know that Elias cares for me, but for him to do this for me? My blood feels light as it flows
through my veins. “We can find someone else,” I say because I have to try one more time.
“Call. Him.”
“You’d let me pay you back?” Hope swells in my chest.
“You can do whatever you want as long as I can help you,” he says with a nod of his head. “And you said that you’d let me help you,” he reminds me.
“Even if it takes me until I’m eighty?”
Elias laughs. “Yeah, Raelynn. Even if it takes you until you’re eighty.”
I don’t know what it is about this moment. What’s so special about him helping me with this? About him letting me paying him back on my own time? But it’s those things and the fact that he’s helping me assure the custody and visitation papers with Henry are exactly the way I want them, which is what will be best for Jackson. And that means more to me than anything else.
Overcome with emotion, I lean over and kiss him right on the mouth. Elias is surprised, but why doesn’t register to me until I pull away and hear Jackson gasp, “Momma! Why are you kissing EJ?”
My cheeks burn with the intensity of hell from embarrassment as I face him. I say the first thing that comes to mind because I have to say something to him. I need to be the one to answer him first, not Elias. “He decided to help me with something really important. I’m grateful and it made me like him even more, so I decided to kiss him real quick.”
Jackson only stares at me like I’ve grown two extra heads.
“She gave me cooties, J-man,” Elias says as he wrinkles his face and looks a little grossed out, breaking the odd tension-like feeling between us.
“My momma doesn’t have cooties!” Jackson defends. He suddenly wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me away from Elias. “You do!” Jackson laughs and says, “Stay away from my momma with your cooties!”
Bree, the poor girl, doesn’t know what’s going on, but she pushes herself up just enough to hug me around the neck too and giggle as she joins in on the fun.
“If I have them, and she just kissed me, then she has them now,” Elias points out.
Jackson seems to think about this for a second before releasing one arm. Next thing I know, he rubs my lips. “Now, they’re gone!” Jackson sticks his tongue out at him. “I wiped them away.”
I laugh. “Okay, baby. Let me go. You’re both pulling on my hair.” Leaning over like this isn’t that fun either.
“What if she wants my cooties?” Elias asks and I toss a glare his way as Jackson releases me and I pull Bree away. Elias ignores me.
“Do you want to kiss EJ and get his cooties, Momma?” Jackson asks, tapping my arm to get my attention back on him.
See? This is why he shouldn’t have asked. This is why I shouldn’t have kissed him to begin with. Elias discreetly pokes my side. All I have to do is answer in a positive way and we don’t have to be so sneaky. There can be some PDA. But is it too soon to introduce something like that to Jackson?
I squeeze my eyes closed and decide to stop thinking. Stop worrying. Stop trying to figure out the present and the future and all the variables in between. I follow in Elias’s footsteps and go with my gut.
With a deep breath, I look at Jackson. “If EJ decides he wants to be my boyfriend, then maybe.” He’s already my boyfriend, but Jackson doesn’t know that yet.
My little boy looks at Elias as if he’s waiting for an answer from him. Bree crawls into Elias’s lap, but I can’t muster the courage to look at him. I see him shift in my peripheral vision, lean closer, and then he kisses my temple.
“I definitely want to be her boyfriend, J-man. Is that okay with you?” Elias’s fingers interlock with mine and I almost cry with him asking Jackson if he’s okay with it.
Jackson nods, though he looks a little unsure. He crawls onto my lap. This feels like a huge moment.
“Do you know what it means for someone to be her boyfriend?” Elias asks. Jackson shakes his head. “There are things your mom’s boyfriend is supposed to do. He’s supposed to be good to her and to you.” Oh lordy. He’s definitely going to make me cry now. “He’s supposed to treat her like she’s one of the most important people in his life and the same goes for you. He’s supposed to try his hardest to never make her cry and if he does, he apologizes, fixes his mistake, and doesn’t let it happen again. Your momma’s boyfriend is supposed to make her even happier than she was. That’s what it all comes down to. He’s supposed to make her really happy, Jackson.”
“You make Momma happy.”
Elias smiles. “I’m doing my best.”
I inhale a shaky breath. I’m two seconds away from a breakdown because I can’t handle all the love and sweetness in this room. Elias squeezes my hand before getting up to try to put Bree down for her afternoon nap before he leaves.
My heart slows, but it feels fuller than ever. Elias eventually leaves and Henry comes over. We eat at home because I don’t want to go out somewhere. It’s too cold and when I leave, I want to go straight to the arena for the game. I wait with bated breath for Jackson to mention his knowledge of my relationship status to Henry, but he hasn’t so far.
We make it to the arena and to the suite. The only familiar faces are Meredith’s, Sydney’s, and Deanna’s. I knew Deanna would be here, as I asked her if she would come tonight if she could and would. I know her the best and I don’t want to be up here without an ally. Henry and I take a seat next to Deanna with Bree in my lap and Jackson walks straight to Deanna.
“Ms. Deanna! Can I sit with you?”
“You sure can!” She lifts him into her lap.
They start talking while I wave and say hello to Meredith and Sydney and introduce Henry. Meredith wiggles her fingers with her arms outstretched in a silent question and I hand Bree over to her.
“How have you been?” Deanna asks me.
“Good. Busy. You?”
She grins. “Good. I’m living with Brayden now.”
“What? That’s awesome!”
“It does feel good.” She leans forward a little to look at Henry. “Who are you again? I missed the introduction talking to this little guy.” She tickles Jackson’s sides, making him giggle.
“Henry, Jackson’s dad.”
Before she can say anything, Jackson looks at Henry. “Dad, she has this big dog.” He holds his arms out as far as he can. “His name is Otis.” Jackson faces Deanna. “When can Otis come over to my house? Can my dad meet him? Mr. Brayden can come over too.”
We laugh at that. I don’t think Brayden would willingly stay behind. Deanna promises to figure out when they all can come over. Soon, the game starts and Jackson moves to my lap to sit between Deanna and Henry. Henry seems to relax when he does that because his whole reason for being here is Jackson and now, Jackson will talk to him some more.
And he talks.
I, however, focus on the ice and the game I only somewhat understand. I smile when I catch sight of Collin Kessy, who oddly feels like a bit of a friend to me now, but I grin when I find the number twenty jersey of my boyfriend. For the most part, the players remind me of the little people on a foosball table. They all kinda look alike. They all move around the ice in this odd and chaotic sort of synchronization, obviously having more leeway than those on the foosball table, but it reminds me of them nonetheless.
“EJ will score, Dad. Watch,” Jackson tells Henry. “I bring him good luck.”
I try to find Elias, but the Rebels charge down the ice toward us to defend their net. They aren’t going to score right now, that’s for sure. Liam Irving makes a save that has the crowd in the lower level standing. My eyes flick to the big screen since I obviously missed it. The puck was sailing through the air, looked like it was going in, and at the last second, his glove moves up to where it needs to be, the puck slams into it, and he captures the little black object.
A minute later, Jackson repeatedly hits Henry on the leg as the Rebels on the ice set up to make a play. Elias is on the ice. One of his teammates passes the puck to him. His stick rears up seemingly so high in
the air, swoops down, and thwacks the puck to send it flying. My eyes don’t know whether to watch Jackson or the ice. Jackson holds his breath. The goalie looks briefly defeated the moment the horn sounds, signaling a goal. His arms shoot up in the air with wild enthusiasm.
“See? I told you! Yeah! Go EJ!”
I check Henry over for his reaction to not only my son’s obvious love of the game but his affection for Elias. Henry smiles and he fist bumps Jackson when he holds up his fist to celebrate the goal. Bree cries, taking my attention away from them, and Meredith reluctantly gives her back to me. I step away for a diaper change and while I’m gone, I miss another Rebels goal.
But I get some looks from a few of the women I don’t know as well. Maybe it’s because I’ve brought another man in here with me? As long as Meredith, Deanna, and Sydney treat me well, I guess that’s all that matters.
Jackson brims with excitement from the second goal. He crawls over into my lap, causing me to shift how I hold Bree, who really wants to sleep. Bree takes Jackson’s hand and he lets her hold it. These two are adorable.
It’s now intermission, so I ask Henry, “Having fun?”
“Yeah. Do y’all come often?”
“We try to come to the weekend games and watch those during the week at home since he’s in school and has a bedtime.”
Henry nods. Things with Henry have improved in the past week. I think what snapped him out of it was comparing him to his parents. As long as they are better, that’s all I care about. I’m almost surprised the girls aren’t grilling him like they did me, but then, Sylvia isn’t here.
“How are Sylvia and Lizzy?” I ask them.
“Ready to have those babies,” Meredith answers. “Everything is still going well, though.” Meredith leans in and speaks quietly so the other women don’t hear her. “Sylvia demands a get-together. She wants us all over for lunch.” Meredith rolls her eyes with a smile. “She wants the latest gossip.”
“And you’re invited,” Sydney tells me.
Worth the Risk Page 17
