He smiles a little. “Good point. I’ll check in on you, but text me if you need anything.” He leans forward, kisses me softly, and then it’s only Jackson and me in the Christmas blanket fort.
A buzzing on the nightstand catches my attention about an hour later. It’s a task to lean over, push the blankets aside and grab it, all the while Jackson sleeps with deadweight on my chest. All for a text from Henry, asking what time we’re coming over. I might as well deal with that now.
I call him and he answers quickly.
“Do you want the bad news or the worst news?” I ask him.
“You’re not coming,” he states.
“Jackson is running a fever and his throat hurts, so no. We’re not coming.” He begins to curse, and I talk over him. “We’re spending the day in bed, but you are more than welcome to drive over here and see him.”
Henry is quiet for a moment. “Is that the bad or worst news? Is he okay? Do we need to take him to the doctor?”
“He’s asleep right now. I’ll take him to the doctor tomorrow. That was the bad news. The worst news is that he heard you call Elias a prick and me a liar. He doesn’t want to see you today. You really upset him, Henry. You made him cry.”
Henry sighs. “I didn’t even think about it.”
“Do you ever think?” I can’t help but to bite out. “You have to always think about how your choices, your words, and your actions will affect him.”
“I know; I didn’t think anything of it, I guess, because...” His voice trails off. “You know what it was like for me growing up.”
“Yes, I do,” I reply softly. “Don’t let history repeat itself with our son, Henry. You don’t have to turn into your parents. You can do better for Jackson. I need you to do better for Jackson.”
His voice is deeper, more tortured. “You’re right. God. I’m sorry. I’ll apologize to all of you when I come. I’ll do better. I promise. I don’t want Jackson to grow up and have nothing to do with me because of my actions.”
“I don’t want that either.” Despite my feelings toward Henry, I would love it if Jackson could have a happy and healthy relationship with his father like every child deserves.
Henry clears his throat. “Okay. I’ll stop by later. Oh, I called around and found a guy willing to look at your car yesterday.” My stomach is in knots by the time Henry finishes telling me about the problem with my transmission. “So, basically, it will cost more to fix it than what your car is worth. Do with that what you will.”
“Thanks for doing that for me.” Henry can be nice, even when he thinks I’m a liar.
“No problem. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”
We hang up and my bladder demands I get out of bed. Jackson whines a little when I move him off of me, but he doesn’t wake up. Within five minutes of my return, he wakes up enough to crawl right back onto my chest. Poor baby. Is it terrible of me that I almost cherish this? He’s sick and he still wants me. What if when he gets older, he no longer wants the comfort of his momma when he gets sick? I cherish all the moments.
Henry texts me around one in the afternoon and the moment I hear the doorbell, I manage to get out of bed with Jackson in my arms. He’s been sleeping on and off all day. Right now? He’s asleep and nothing but deadweight in my arms. I don’t know if I can make it; he’s so heavy and my arms feel like they might yank out of their sockets at any moment, but I’ll try. I won’t drop my son, if only from sheer determination alone.
“Raelynn, what are you doing?” Elias asks, changing his route from walking toward the front door to jogging to me as he sees me walking down the stairs.
“Answering the door. It’s Henry.”
Elias takes Jackson from me. “I meant why are you carrying him down the stairs?” He glares at me. “What if you dropped him or if you both fell?”
“I was fine.” Dying from his weight, but I was managing.
“You couldn’t have left him in bed?” he asks as we walk to the door.
“He was latched onto me.” I open the door to Henry, who has a bag full of presents. “Hey. Come on in. I was about to find something to eat. You can take those upstairs to the second bedroom on the right.”
“Is he feeling any better?” Henry asks.
“Not really. Just meet me in the kitchen.” Henry nods and heads upstairs. I turn to Elias. “Give me my son. You’re supposed to be avoiding the germs.”
Elias opens his mouth to object, but Jackson rouses awake and guess who he wants? His momma!
“Please don’t be smug and sit down. I’ll heat up leftovers for you.” His voice turns all soft and sweet as he speaks to Jackson. “J-man, you want something to eat?”
Jackson shakes his head, but he hasn’t had anything to eat today. “Fix him some soup, please.”
Henry walks in and says hey to Jackson, who turns to hide his face in my neck. Henry looks helpless for a moment as he sits down next to me.
“Baby, your dad has something he wants to say, and I need you to listen. Okay?”
Henry shouldn’t feel too special. Jackson ignores me too. Henry apologizes to Jackson, for saying what he did and for Jackson hearing him, and then he apologizes to Elias and me. I make sure to tell him he’s forgiven. I don’t want Jackson to think I’m mad at him or that we should hold a grudge.
Elias sets a bowl of soup and a plate of leftovers in front of me. He looks like he wants to stay and be supportive, or maybe to supervise, but I flick my gaze to the living room. He’s not about to spend the majority of his time with us again.
“Don’t let her carry him anywhere, Henry,” he says. “He’s too heavy for her.”
I roll my eyes. “Go away, Elias James.”
Elias glares, but leaves us alone. Getting Jackson to eat is a task at first, but eventually, we both eat and head back upstairs. Henry carries him as requested. We sit on the bench in front of Elias’s bed.
“This isn’t your room,” Henry states.
“No. We’re staying in here while his family visits.” I wait for him to make some kind of comment on that, considering he brought it up, but he doesn’t. “Your dad brought presents. Do you want to open them?” I ask Jackson.
He nods against Henry’s shoulder. I’m surprised he doesn’t want to sit with me again. I grab the bag Henry brought and reclaim my seat.
“Has EJ given him his presents yet?” Henry asks.
“No. He hasn’t even had presents from Santa.” Why does it matter if EJ gave him his presents already? “Does it matter which he opens first?”
Henry shakes his head, so I begin to hand presents to Jackson. He gets new books, a few toys, some clothes, and then there’s an envelope. I open the envelope for him and pull out the piece of paper. Confused, I read what it says to Jackson.
“Congratulations. In three weeks, you start skating lessons!” I inject some excitement for Jackson as I realize what Henry’s done. Jackson’s eyes are wide and for the first time all day, he looks like himself.
“I’m gonna learn how to skate? Like Mr. EJ?”
“Yep,” Henry answers for him. To me, he says, “I’ll help you get him to the lessons, don’t worry.”
I’m excited for Jackson, I am, because he will love this. It’s already written all over his face. But why would Henry do something like this without asking me first? He needs to consult me. And what if Jackson gets hooked on this? Sports can be expensive and money is not something I’ve always had. The last thing I want is to tell Jackson he can no longer do something he loves because I can’t afford it, if something happens one day and I no longer have this job.
But this kind of fear doesn’t help me or Jackson. It doesn’t help my mission of expanding our worlds. I’ll let the fear go, but I still wish he’d asked.
It doesn’t feel right to carry Jackson’s presents upstairs and to leave Bree downstairs, but she’s the very last person who needs to be around him. Seeing the three of them sitting on the bench in front of my bed sends a ridiculous spout of jeal
ousy through me. They are a family. We’re sort of a family. Altogether, we’re some kind of a family. It’s weird, but it’s what’s happening.
“Hey, J-man. You feeling better?”
“Mr. EJ! I’m gonna skate like you! Dad got me lessons!” he says instead of answering.
“He did? That’s awesome. Now you don’t have to wait around on me.” I hold out my fist and he bumps it. “I thought you might want the rest of your presents. Some are from Bree and me, some are from your mom, and some are from Santa.” I look at Raelynn. “I left yours downstairs, but I can get them if you want.”
“No, that’s okay,” she answers.
I kneel in the floor in front of them. “What do you want first?”
And so, Jackson opens his presents. He’s absolutely thrilled when he gets to his skates. He wants to put them on right then, but Raelynn tells him no.
“We have to make sure they fit, though. Right, Jackson?” I say with a grin.
“Right,” he agrees, extending his feet out to me.
“But then we’re taking them off because your mom doesn’t want you wearing them right now, okay?”
“Okay, Mr. EJ.”
“Hey, you can call me EJ from now on, okay?”
Jackson’s eyes widen and he looks at Raelynn. “If he says it’s okay, then it’s okay,” she tells him.
“Time to stand up.” I help him stand. “How do they feel?”
“Like we need to go skating,” he answers, causing the three of us to laugh.
“We’ll break them in once you’re feeling better.” I take his skates off and he crawls onto Raelynn’s lap.
“Am I missing out on the party?”
Everyone looks to see Derek walk into my room.
“We’re just giving Jackson his presents. Derek, this is Henry, Jackson’s dad. Henry, this is one of my best friends, Derek.” They say hello. “Hey, help me take the fort down,” I say to Derek. While I don’t like the idea of Henry anywhere near my bed, especially if Raelynn is in it, why deal with the hassle of getting in and out of the fort? And Christmas is basically over. Plus, if they want to watch a movie, they wouldn’t be able to because of the fort.
Henry, Derek, and I get the fort taken down. As Derek and I are about to leave them to their family time, Jackson stops me.
“EJ?”
“Yeah, J-man?”
He looks to be on the verge of falling back asleep. “When do I get my room back?”
I laugh. “Tomorrow, but if you really want to sleep in your room tonight, I can see about rearranging some things.”
He nods and even says please while Raelynn shakes her head. The kid is sick. If he wants to be in his own room, then who am I to stand in his way? Nicole can move to Bree’s room and sleep on the twin bed and Derek can sleep on the couch. It’s everyone’s last night. I doubt they’ll be that upset by the change.
I pluck Bree from Nicole’s hold, feeling like I haven’t had any time with my own kid since they’ve been here, and sit in one of the chairs. “Nicole, don’t you want to take Derek’s place in Bree’s room and Derek, don’t you want to sleep on the couch?”
“Why?” Nicole asks.
“Jackson wants his room back.” I shrug. “He’s sick, so I kinda want to give him what he wants.”
Derek, who sits next to Nicole, throws an arm around her shoulders and pulls her into him. “You mean you want to kick your baby sister out for the preference of a five-year-old?” He looks at Nicole, who’s already laughing. “We don’t have to deal with this, Nicole! Your brother should treat you better. Let’s get a room at a hotel instead.”
“Take my daughter to a hotel and I’ll kill you myself.” My dad says pretty much the exact thing I was thinking.
“You hear that, Nic? They think I’d go to jail for you.” Derek shakes his head in disbelief at us. My sister, though? She’s still smiling and laughing a little, which I think is a bit weird.
I grab a pillow and throw it at him. “Get away from my sister, Novak.”
He rolls his eyes as he removes his arm from her shoulders. “I don’t mind letting your sister take over my bed.”
I groan at his choice of words, though Nicole thinks it’s funny once again.
“If Derek’s okay with it, then so am I,” she says.
“You two need to separate.” Not that I think there’s anything going on between them. Derek is my age and he’s my best friend. He likes to joke around and Nicole? Well, she just likes that Derek annoys me sometimes.
It’s nice to spend time with my family, but really? I can’t wait for them to leave. I don’t like my house full of people who don’t live here. People who like to take my kid and hog her. It’s my time off, and I don’t feel like I’ve spent any more time than usual with her. I love that they came and that they’re here for Bree’s first Christmas, but I can’t wait until it’s just the four of us again.
Well, and the occasional visits from Henry.
Speaking of, he leaves around eight. Bree is knocked out in my arms and I really want to check on Raelynn and Jackson. I keep hearing Raelynn’s voice in my head about how I was spending more time with her and Jackson than my own family.
Fuck it. It’s my house. My time off. I’ll do whatever I want.
I get up with Bree in my arms and march upstairs. Jackson is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth.
“Hey, J-man. Your room is all yours again.”
“Thanks, Mr. I mean, EJ.”
I grin and leave him to pop into my room, but I find Raelynn in hers instead.
“Hey. I’m hopping into the shower once he’s asleep,” she says, holding up her clothes.
“Can I come too?” I whisper.
Her eyes widen. “No!” she whisper-shouts. “Are you crazy?”
“About you? Absolutely. Please? I miss you. I’ll even behave.” Maybe. I might be lying about that last part.
“Your family—”
“Yeah, I know. They’re here. I don’t care. I want this, so let me have it.”
“Momma, I’m ready for bed,” Jackson says, suddenly appearing between us.
Raelynn closes a dresser drawer and walks past me without another word. I walk to Bree’s room and lay her in her crib. Raelynn and I leave their rooms at the same time. I hold out my hand. If she takes it, then we go to my bathroom. If she doesn’t, then that’s a very loud and clear no.
“I’ve had a sick kid laying on me all day,” she tries. My hand still hovers in the air. Three, two... She sighs and takes my hand. “We need to talk anyway.”
With any other woman, this would raise a red flag that something bad is coming. With Raelynn, she probably just needs to get something off her chest. Not to mention, I highly doubt she’s about to break up with me while we’re taking a shower together.
“It looks like you and Henry coordinated that gift for Jackson,” she says as I turn the water on.
“I was going to get him both the lessons and the skates, but then he thought about it, too, so we decided to split it.”
“Why didn’t either of you ask me first before essentially signing my son up for a sport?”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “Because I figured you’d say no because of the expense.”
Raelynn frowns as we undress. “I wouldn’t have.”
Okay. I’m confused. “Then why did you want us to ask you first?” It sounds like she’s okay with what we did, so what’s the problem? Raelynn steps into the shower and I follow after her.
“Because he’s my son and I should be consulted. It should be my decision if he does something. I should know first, not last.”
I rest my hands on her shoulders and massage. She’s working herself up and that’s the last thing I want. “Noted,” is all I say.
She turns to face me, interrupting the massage as she tilts her head back to wet her hair. “And you were in cahoots with Henry. I thought you were only supposed to do things with me?” There’s the slightest hint of a smirk on her face to let me
know she’s teasing.
“That was an exception because it was for Jackson.”
Raelynn nods. “Will you miss your family when they leave tomorrow?”
“Do I look like I want to talk about my family?” I glide my fingers over her body as she washes herself. Suds move either around my fingers or over them.
“No, you look like you want to eat me up and have sex with me, which is why I asked about your family.”
I grin. “You can read me pretty well. I’m ready for them to leave if only so I can have my house back to normal and you to myself.”
She lifts her arms to wash her hair and my gaze naturally drops to her breasts, which rise a bit at the action. “I need to ask you a favor.”
“Yes,” I answer immediately. My hands move to her breasts as if magnetically drawn there. Raelynn laughs and I half listen as she recounts what’s apparently wrong with her car. Before she can get to what her favor may be, I offer a solution. “Do you want us to go look for another car then? We can go Monday. I can buy it and you can drive it as long as you live here.”
My hands are swatted away, which causes my eyes to lift to hers. She doesn’t look too happy with me.
“No. I don’t need you to ride in on your white horse, Elias,” she says with a huff. “I know you do these things because you care, but I still need to make decisions on my own and for myself. I still need to pay for things on my own. Otherwise, even though you don’t intend it, you take my power and make me feel helpless. What I was going to ask you is if you’ll help me look for a car. I can afford car payments; you are not buying me a car.”
I understand what she’s saying, I guess, but... “Are you sure? I don’t mind, and you do use your car to do a lot of things for me.”
“I’m sure, Elias. I would just like for you to help me find a car and make sure I’m not taken advantage of.” She adds a little smile.
“If that’s what you want me to do, then consider it done.”
Her arms are suddenly around my neck as she lifts as high as she can on her tiptoes and she kisses me. “Thank you. We should get out of here.”
I frown. “Without having any fun? You’re wet and naked against my wet and naked body. Why would we miss out on that opportunity, Raelynn?”
Worth the Risk Page 16
