Renegade

by Jeanne McDonald

  “So, what are we doing here anyway?” she asked, releasing a contented sigh. She glanced around at the dank walls of The Yellow Submarine. I couldn’t stop watching her. The way she examined everything, as if she was collecting information to be used later.

  “You have an issue with bars?”

  She scratched the side of her neck, shaking her head. “No. I’ve been here before.”

  I blew smoke through my nose and tapped the ash off the end of my cigarette. “Really? I’m shocked. You’d never been to Sgt. Pepper’s Cafe, but you’ve been here.”

  Of course, I knew she had. She was in this very bar the night she walked back into my life.

  I laughed; her lips perched on her bottle of beer. “Not too long ago, actually. I came here with Sarah, and this is where I met…” Her words trailed off. There he was again. The fucking bastard.

  I couldn’t help but be jealous. Ian had what I wanted and couldn’t have.

  She trusted him and not me. I knew what it meant for her to give away her trust. People like us, trust was a high commodity that wasn’t given away freely.

  “Well, then,” I breezed over the silence, “I bet you didn’t try–”

  The sound of Klaus’s whoop cut off my sentence. “Fuck, yeah, baby! That’s how it’s done.” He marched straight up to the bar and slammed his hands down on the weathered surface. “I need a round for me and my brother over…” I leaned around Lucy to see Klaus stop mid-sentence at the sight of her. His face lit up in a grin that I knew all too well.

  Until now, I’d managed to keep Lucy all to myself. I knew how Klaus felt about her. Even as kids, Klaus loved her. But he knew she was mine and would never make a go for her. I couldn’t blame Klaus for the way he felt. There was something in the way she ran her fingers under her hair, wafting the delicious scent in my face, or the little purr she made while drinking her coffee in the morning that had moved me.

  “Sorry. Make that a round for me, my brother, and the fine as fuck bitch sittin’ next to him.”

  The bartender snorted, pouring three shots and passing them off to Klaus. “You wanna start a tab?” he sniffed.

  “Jude’s already started one. Put it on his.”

  “You got it.”

  Klaus balanced the three shots between his fingers and teetered over to where we sat. He placed the glasses on the table and took my nearly diminished cigarette from me, taking the final drag before stamping it out.

  “Lucy-fucking-Diamond. I’d know your fine ass anywhere. Stand up and give me a hug,” Klaus said, blowing a halo of smoke above her head.

  “Klaus Zane!” Lucy squealed.

  The bright smile on her face made me want to drop kick Klaus. Why did that mother fucker deserve her affection and I didn’t? If she only knew what I’d done for her.

  Lucy jumped up from her seat and flew into Klaus’s outstretched arms. That shit eating grin on his face needed to be beaten off.

  He rocked her back and forth, her legs waving from side to side. “How the fuck have you been, woman?” he asked as he placed her back on her feet.

  She slipped into the bench beside me, but kept a wide berth between us.

  Klaus plopped down across from us, pushing the shot glasses toward us.

  “I’m good. How about you? Looks like you’re celebrating tonight.”

  My eyes widened and I shook my head at Klaus. He better keep his mother fucking mouth shut or I would lock him up myself.

  Klaus grinned at Lucy, reaching for her hand. “I am. But would you excuse me for a second. I need to talk to the asshat over there.” His smile disappeared and he met my gaze with a snarl. “A word,” he gritted out.

  I patted Lucy who moved instantly, allowing me out of the bench. The two of us stalked toward the bar, and before I could open my mouth to speak, Klaus ripped into me. “What the fuck, man? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

  “I can explain.”

  “She’s a fucking cop, asshat. Are you trying to get us all killed bringing a fucking cop into our bar? And on our night. We’re supposed to be celebrating. Not getting our asses hauled off to jail. You get that, right?”

  “She doesn’t know anything.”

  “Yet.”

  I ignored that jab and continued, “And I told you I was meeting her tonight.”

  “Not here, though, fucktard. Jesus, Jude. What are you thinking?” Klaus shoved his fingers through his hair, ripping at the roots. “This is a fucking disaster.”

  “Look. You keep your fucking mouth shut and I’ll do the same. No harm done.”

  Klaus screwed his eyes shut tight. “It makes sense now.”

  “What does?”

  “Sutcliffe.”

  “What about him?”

  Klaus opened his eyes, meeting my confused gaze. “He was at the docks tonight. He wants to see you tomorrow.”

  “About?”

  “Dunno. Wouldn’t say. And I’m smart enough not to ask.”

  I waved a hand in a nonchalant gesture. “He probably wants to confirm the final car. I already have it lined out. We’ll go in a week once the heat’s off on the Ferrari.”

  Klaus’s face perked up. “And we’ll be a cool six-mil richer.”

  “Damn straight.”

  Klaus nodded over to Lucy who was nursing her beer and glancing down at her phone, pretending to not be watching us at the bar. “Sucks she hates you.”

  “What makes you think she hates me?”

  Klaus snickered. “I have fucking eyes. You told her the truth about why we left, yet?”

  Jude’s smile dropped. “Nah, man. I know better. Not that she’d believe me if I did.”

  “I’m sure she would if you told her.”

  I looked in Lucy’s direction, sighing. “That son of a bitch ruined our lives.”

  Klaus nodded, patting my shoulder. “Reed would’ve hurt her worse than he already did if you hadn’t stepped in. You know that.”

  I sucked in my cheeks, biting them hard. I never would forget the expression on that bastard’s face, standing outside her door, ready to walk in while she slept. I took the beating of a life time for calling him out and stopping him from hurting her, but my leaving afterward was the best choice for all of us. With Klaus and me gone, and the call made to CPS, there was no way he’d ever hurt her again.

  “Yeah. You know, man, let’s get back to her before she starts to get all snoopy on us.”

  “Nah, man. You go chill with her. I’m gonna go see if I can find me a honey to scream my name.”

  “Always looking for the next warm, wet pussy to slip your dick into.”

  “Mouth, twat, ass. Don’t matter. As long as it’s tight and wet, I’ll fuck it.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. That was the great thing about Klaus. The world was a simple place for him, and because of that, he never felt the need to say anything more or less than what was on his mind.

  “Get out of here.” I waved him off.

  “Later!” Klaus called out, heading toward the door.

  “Later, man,” I called back, heading back to the booth, and slipping in beside Lucy.

  “Is he not even going to say goodbye to me?” She chugged the last of her beer and let out a sigh that went straight to my dick. Damn Klaus for putting perverse thoughts into my head. Not that I really needed Klaus’s help. I knew what this girl felt like from the inside. She was my first and the only one who ever made it into my spank bank.

  “You’ll see him again. He had to roll.”

  Lucy turned, resting her knee on the bench. “That’s not the impression I just got.”

  I itched to touch her. To make that frown disappear. The way her eyes changed color with her moods was pure bliss. “Read Jane Austen, sweetheart. First impressions mean nothing.”

  She stiffened beside me. I wasn’t sure what caused her to become ice, but a haze of it seemed to pour over her.

  She rolled her shoulders and pursed her lips, grabbing for one of the shot glasses Klaus had left
behind. She downed it in one gulp. “You read?” she croaked, grabbing for another one of the glasses and downing that sucker too.

  I couldn’t let this little thing out drink me, so I took the final shot and dropped the glass on the table upside down. “Damn right I can. She’s a classic. Men can learn a lot about women by reading the books they like.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Is that so?”

  I raised a brow, trying not to wince at the stitches sticking me. “It is. For example, Mr. Darcy is a dick. We’re talking hairy balls asshole, but you ladies eat that shit up. He insults the fuck out of Elizabeth when they first meet, but in the end, that’s all right because they’re in love,” I sing sarcastically. “It’s considered some epic love story, which I totally disagree with. But it doesn’t matter what I think. It matters what women think.”

  The seriousness of the conversation made Lucy laugh. Or maybe it was the warmth of the alcohol. Whatever the case, the more she laughed, the closer she got to me. I wasn’t going to complain. Even if it was the alcohol helping her drop her façade.

  Lucy looked up into my eyes, smoldering me to the point of suffocation. Those sweet lips, pink and plump, moistened by the tip of her tongue beckoned me to kiss them. And, oh, how I wanted to.

  I licked my lips, my mind rattling with what to do next, when the clap of two glasses landed on the table with a thud. Quickly, we pulled apart, both taking in a deep breath of air.

  “What’s this?” I asked, staring down at the glasses.

  “They’re from Lisa,” the bartender snarled and marched off without further explanation.

  I glanced down at the cups and burst into laughter. The glass was full of a brown substance and topped with whipped cream. I realized Lisa meant it as a slap in the face, sending a blowjob over to me. She wanted to interrupt what she assumed was a date. And from the outside, I could see why she would’ve thought such a thing. I searched the room for Lisa, and found her perched on a stool at the bar, glaring at us. I raised the glass before setting it back down on the table.

  “What the hell are these?” Lucy snarled, staring at the glasses.

  “Those, my dear, are called blowjobs.”

  Lucy’s head jerked toward me, her mouth twitching. “No way.”

  “Oh, yes.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her forward to see Lisa. “You see that girl over there?”

  “The one who looks like she missed checking herself in the mirror before leaving home for the day?”

  “That’s the one. She’s jealous of you.”

  “Of me? Why?”

  I scratched the back of my neck, glancing down at the melting whipped cream on top of the shot glasses. “Because she wants to fuck me, and I refuse. She thinks it’s because of you.”

  Lucy bellowed in laughter, unfazed by my honesty. It was a relief that she actually accepted my answer. It made me wonder if she might be more understanding about why I left than I gave her credit for.

  I wrestled with the idea of telling her. Klaus was right. After all these years, she deserved to know. But if I told her, then I would have to tell her about my life. That would land me in handcuffs. Nope. Some secrets were better left alone.

  “She thinks you’re my new conquest,” I admitted. “And this is her childish way of trying to scare you away.”

  “By sending us a drink? How stupid is that?”

  “Consider the drink, Luce. It’s a blowjob. She’s trying to tell you that she gave me a blowjob.”

  Lucy’s laughter stopped. She glanced down at the shots then back to Lisa, her breathing slightly increased. Her face scrunched up as she seemed to roll the information around in her mind. Her expression made me nervous.

  “Did she?”

  “God no! I tend to enjoy having my dick. That woman is a walking STD.”

  Lucy looked over at Lisa again, analyzing her. Each passing second made me more and more nervous about what she was mulling over.

  “How juvenile,” Lucy finally said.

  I sighed in relief. “I’m glad you agree.” Lucy seemed a little uncomfortable. I couldn’t have that. I’d just gotten her outside of the ice castle. “Hey, you wanna help me piss her off and ruin her fun?”

  A mischievous gleam twinkled in her eyes. Lucy rubbed her hands together, cackling. “Absolutely.”

  “Then we’re going to do these shots the way they were intended.”

  Lucy cocked her head to the side, a little confused. “Huh?”

  I lifted a finger and slid from the bench. I crossed over to a table and grabbed a vacant chair, dragging it back to our table. “Sit.” I pointed down to the chair. Lucy shuffled out of the booth and moved to the chair. From across the room, Lisa watched us.

  “Stick this between your knees,” I instructed, handing her the shot.

  Lucy’s eyes grew wide and her face paled. “I’m not sure I want to do this.”

  I couldn’t let that happen.

  “Trust me. It’s going to fuck with her hard. You’ll enjoy it. I promise.”

  Her shoulders sank and her head dropped, but she consented, placing the shot glass between her knees. “Like this?”

  “Just like that.” I knelt down before her, gripping her hips. Not even glancing in Lisa’s direction, I planted my face against Lucy’s legs and grabbed the shot with my mouth, tipping it back. The sweet thickness of the cream mixed with the alcohol tightened my chest, as I swallowed the whole shot in one gulp.

  “Damn!” Lucy squealed. “You’re a pro at this.”

  “Not exactly.” I wiped the whipped cream from my lips, rolling in laughter, as I stood up and placed the empty glass on the table. “I’ve made a complete mess.”

  Lucy covered her face, unable to breathe from laughing so hard. She stomped her feet on the floor in hilarity. “There’s no way I can do that!”

  “You’ve sucked dick before, Luce. Just open wide and take the shot.”

  The expression on Lucy’s face was priceless. I cocked my head, almost begging her to comment, but she held her tongue. I suspected as much, and the image of my cock buried in her mouth came to the forefront of my mind. I groaned, growing hard at the mental image.

  Shit. That’s all I needed. To be rock hard when she took the shot.

  I breathed in a few calming breaths, forcing away my desire. Lucy stood up from the chair, and I took her place. I picked up the full glass and placed it between my thighs, as close to my dick as possible. Lucy hesitated at first, taking notice of my visible erection. While I half expected her to bolt, she knelt down, resting her hands on my legs. She examined the shot glass, turning her head from side to side, analyzing the best way to approach the situation.

  “It’s not rocket science, Luce. Take the damn shot.”

  Lucy eyed the glass a second longer, took a deep breath, and leaned forward, wrapping her mouth around the rim. Her face reddened as she attempted to pop the shot back like I had. The sight before me was quite comical in the fact she couldn’t quite figure out how to open her throat enough to allow the liquid to flow. To help her, I placed my hand on the bottom of the glass and tipped her head back. Lucy made a strange gurgling noise. “Don’t throw it up! Just let it flow,” I instructed.

  Lucy shook her head, squeaking around the glass. I fought back the laughter bubbling in my chest. “This is the worst blowjob I’ve ever had,” I quipped.

  All of the sudden, the glass exploded from Lucy’s mouth and she spewed the drink all over us both. I was covered in Kahlua and whipped cream, but that was nothing compared to the brown, sticky mess rolling down her chin and over her breasts.

  We were laughing so hard, neither of us could breathe. From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Lisa storming out of the joint. While I felt a little satisfaction in the matter, all I really could think about was how close Lucy’s face had been to my dick.

  She glanced up at me through her dark lashes, and all laughter ceased. The atmosphere around us shifted and once again her eyes c
hanged color right before me. Dark, almost black as night, she stared at me, licking her lips. Nothing in the world called to me more than the sight of her tongue sliding along the slit of her mouth. I wanted to taste her lips. Feed on them. Bite them until she screamed for mercy.

  That’s what I wanted, but not what she wanted. Because no sooner than I’d leaned in to kiss her, she pulled away.

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  “Why not?” I panted, aching to feel her.

  Lucy scooted away from me. She grabbed a napkin from the table and began cleaning up her face and shirt. “You know why.”

  I plopped into the bench seat opposite of her. “Yeah. I do.”

  And I did. I simply wasn’t sure which reason she was thinking of at the moment.

  “What do you say we call it a night?” Lucy suggested.

  “But the night’s still young.”

  “I have work and Ian comes home tomorrow.”

  Grr. The fucking Brit. Of course, he was her reason.

  “Right. Ian,” I muttered. “Fine. I’ll text you later.”

  Lucy slipped from the booth and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the top of my head. The agony that raced through was enough to kill a man dead. And that’s exactly how I felt when she walked out the door. Dead.

  Had I been a smart man, I would’ve run after her. Stopped her from walking away. I would’ve kissed her and told her everything she wanted to know. But I didn’t. I just sat there into the wee hours of the morning, drinking away the memory of the only girl I ever loved.

  Why?

  Why had I let my guard down with Jude? I knew better.

  Between the copious amounts of alcohol and all of the laughter, I was hypnotized by those deep brown eyes and that devilish grin.

  And when he leaned in to kiss me, I thought the world would ignite in flames.

  I wanted to feel those lips again, almost as badly as I wanted my next breath, but I couldn’t. Letting him in, even for a second, would mean destruction of me. I’d let him in once, I wasn’t foolish enough to do it again.

  All night long I tossed and turned, berating myself for letting things get as far as they did. His expression when I walked out of the bar would be forever burned in my memory. Guilt plagued me for hurting him, which only incised me, because he certainly didn’t feel guilty for doing the same to me. I gave him so many opportunities to talk about what happened the night he left. Instead, he acted like nothing had happened.