This Spells Trouble

by Stacey Alabaster

  I started to stir the way that Geri had shown me. “So, tell me again—is this some sort of exam for entrance to the coven?” I asked, nodding down into the brew.

  She shook her head. “Oh no. No, no, no. Nothing like that.” She stopped and reassessed. “Well, there is something like that, but this is not it. This is to help you find out what happened to Clover.”

  “Whoa,” I said and put the ladle down. “No, I don’t do that.”

  She looked at me blankly. “You don’t do what, dear?”

  “I don’t use spells to help me with my cases.”

  She just stared at me in bewilderment. “But you only opened your detective agency yesterday! And you only found out you are a witch today! How can you have a rule about that kind of thing already?”

  Yep, it had been quite an eventful forty-eight hours. “It’s a new policy. But one that I have thought over quite seriously.”

  “This isn’t one of your regular cases.” She looked upset. “And what is wrong with using every tool at your disposal to help solve a case, anyway?” she asked, her voice going a bit gentler. She could see that I had a conflict and her motherly side was coming out. At least a little bit.

  I shrugged. “It just seems wrong. Like cheating.”

  “But I am a witch, dear. I know this is not cheating. In fact, I know just how hard this spell can be to master. Because I am the one who invented it.”

  “Well, that just gives me a bunch of added pressure, doesn’t it?” I picked the ladle back up and dipped it in. It did not smell good at all. Kind of like the back of the farm after it had rained. Very swampy. It smelled worse than that wheat grass Akiro had briefly sold at Onyx before he had to take it off the menu because no one bought it and it was making the entire coffee shop smell like compost.

  Geri had one more thing to add to the pot.

  I was surprised to find out that one of the key ingredients was crushed-up crystals. They had no scent to mask the compost smell, but they did make the water look pretty when the amethyst hit it and turned the whole thing purple and sparkly. Geraldine explained that the crystals were instrumental in adding the clairvoyant properties of the spell.

  Made sense.

  “Are you taking this seriously?” Geri asked.

  “Oh, yes. My goal is to become the best witch of all time,” I said drolly, casting her an eye as I stirred. Oh, right. Didn’t look like Geraldine had quite the same sense of humor as I did. She thought I was being serious, and then she was offended that I was only kidding. She clearly took this witch business very seriously.

  “Well, I just found out less than twelve hours ago, didn’t I?” I was trying to defend myself.

  She eyed the way I was stirring. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” She took the ladle off me and handed me a sheet. “So, I suggest you go home and study up if you ever want to find out what happened to Clover.”

  I had a headache trying to read over the list as I walked out the door. But as I re-read it at home that night, I started to wonder if maybe the spell was redundant. After all, I’d been able to read minds for as long as I could remember. I didn’t even need to learn the spell!

  Maybe I could just tell Geri that I had mastered the spell, and I could find out what happened to Clover just using my normal mortal skills. She wouldn’t know any differently! Easy! And with the added bonus that I would never have to smell that swamp water ever again.

  But then I got a phone call from Geri on a private number later that night. “I’ve changed my mind about something, Ruby. There is an exam. And I want you to perform the spell I showed you tonight in order to pass it. Every member of the coven will be there to watch you perform it, and if you don’t learn how to cast the spell by this time next week, then you will not be allowed to officially enter the coven.”

  Great. No pressure at all then!

  4

  “Umm, what happened in here?” I tiptoed through my own kitchen early in the morning after being woken by the sound of a glass breaking.

  Indy was roaming around the kitchen and finally settled on a sunny spot on the window sill.

  There was smashed glass all over the floor—glasses that had been too close to the edge of the counter and came in close contact with a certain cat’s tail.

  Akiro had been asking if he could visit to check in on her, but I had no idea how to explain the fact that she had doubled in size in three days. I ended up making an excuse about the mess in the house, which had since become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  “Are you going to answer me?” I asked, looking down at her, wanting to be angry but feeling sort of bemused that a little cat could cause this much trouble.

  She just kinda purred at me and lazily waved her tail around. I supposed I wasn’t used to living with a cat. I’d gotten into the habit of leaving my mugs and glasses laying around when I was out of the house or sleeping. I was going to have to be more careful if I didn’t want to be sweeping up glass first thing every morning.

  Of course, Indy didn’t actually help me clean up the mess, just watched with a smug look on her face while I did it all.

  “Is that what you are wearing today?” she asked me.

  I was still in my dressing gown. So, no.

  I stared at her over my shoulder in total bemusement. Is this what she thought humans left the house wearing? “I haven’t had time to get dressed since I’ve had to clean up your mess, young lady. Er, young cat.”

  As I cleaned, my mind wandered to something she had said earlier.

  “So, what did you mean when you said I was in trouble?” I asked, still holding the dustpan.

  But she was napping on the windowsill.

  Oh, now she decided to go quiet. Perfect timing there, kitty.

  She opened her eyes lazily and only kind of looked at me with glassy eyes. It was almost like she had an ‘on/off’ switch between being a normal cat and being a witch cat, and right now, it was switched to normal cat. Or maybe it was just switched to ‘difficult’ mode.

  “You got here on time this morning,” Akiro said with a smile as I waltzed through the doors of the coffee shop.

  “Yeah, well, dealing with the caffeine withdrawals was brutal,” I said with a grin. But it was also because I didn’t want Akiro spontaneously bursting in again just in case there was a witch in my office. I felt bad about the fact that I was conspiring to keep him out of both my house and office, since I knew he didn’t let many people into his social circle and I was one of his few friends in town. At least he didn’t seem to suspect that anything was up just yet.

  With coffee in hand, I made my way to the office I was renting. I had two cases to deal with, so I kept the sign turned to ‘closed’ just in case new clients tried to come in. I hadn’t been prepared for this much success this quickly. I even considered taking the phone off the hook.

  Focus, Ruby, focus.

  I had to figure out who this Kylie Leonard was and what she was trying to hide. I had an idea about how to ‘hack’ into Kylie’s social media accounts so that I could see whether she was actually linked to Mark Sheridan somehow. I’d found her official email address from the Leonard’s Milk website, so now all I had to do was guess her password. We’d gotten tips for how to do this at the PI’s course, so I set about concentrating and trying to guess the most popular combinations.

  I jumped when the phone rang. I knew I should have taken it off the hook. Geez, that Geri, she sure did love to use the phone

  “This is important, Ruby. You can’t keep running away from your fate. You have to meet the rest of the coven and find your place in the family. Because that’s what we are: one big family. Missing a sister.”

  “Okay, fine,” I said and agreed to meet her at the address she had given me, once again putting the May Sheridan case to the side. But for some reason, as I drove over there, I found myself going twenty under the speed limit, and I realized, as my hands got wetter and I had more and more trouble gripping the steering wheel, that I was ne
rvous to meet the rest of the witches. I was always a bit of a slow driver, but this was really slow.

  What if they rejected me? Worse than that, what if I didn’t like any of them?

  But eventually, I was going to have to get to the park no matter how slowly I drove. I still thought it was a bit of a strange place to meet up—seemed very cheery and public for a coven of witches. I don’t know what I was expecting, though… The cemetery at midnight maybe?

  I was sort of hoping that I would recognize one of them at least. But there were no friendly faces amongst the crowd. And I mean that on several levels. I was the outsider infiltrating their ranks, and they did not want me there.

  Most of them looked more or less like I did. By that, I mean they looked ’normal’ enough, but there was a lot of dyed black hair amongst the crew. Huh. And I hadn’t even known I was a witch when I had done my dye job.

  There was a solemn mood as I made my way to the rotunda where everyone was gathered. Geri assured me that the angry faces had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Clover’s death, which was still fresh in everyone’s minds.

  One of the witches was ranting about the changes being made to the park. Apparently, the city was going to rip up some flowers to build a new path. “They need to stop trying to make this park better for humans and just leave the plants grow how they want to grow.”

  Her name was Prudence, and she kept looking down her nose at me. “But I suppose you don’t agree, seeing as you have lived as a human all your life.”

  “Actually, I do agree,” I said, but Prudence had already turned her nose back up and looked away as though not only did she not believe me, but I was not worth talking to.

  It was an immortals’ ‘morning tea,’ and Geri had brought along scones and sandwiches that were passed around.

  Geri briefly mentioned that I was a PI and that I could help them find out who had killed Clover. There was a bit of a murmur amongst the witches—a few flashes of hope in their eyes and for a second there, I thought I might actually be welcomed. But it turned out to just be a small flame that just fizzled out.

  “I still don’t know why you’re not just waiting for the police to solve….” I said to Geri, not meaning to sound judgmental or even ungrateful for the case. I just was genuinely wondering why there was so much distrust in the authorities

  “I told you this, Ruby. We take care of our own.”

  Suddenly, a latecomer came out of the bushes—a tall, young woman with a heavy gait, freckles, and a wide grin. She came straight over to me and introduced herself.

  “I’m Vicky,” she said with a laugh. “And don’t worry, I don’t fit in much here either!”

  I was a little offended at first as I thought I had been doing my best to fit in or at least not to make it too obvious that I wasn’t. But she had seen right through me. She was friendly though, and I was super grateful. I relaxed and took the sandwich she was offering me.

  But she certainly didn’t look like a witch. I mean, I looked WAY more like a witch than her. She had very light blonde hair that was pulled back in a tight bun, and she had full, almost chubby cheeks. She was almost six foot tall and slightly ungainly. More Viking than witch.

  Geri had left us to socialize amongst ourselves, but it wasn’t like I was spoiled for company and Vicky was the only one who spoke to me at all.

  We ended up taking a stroll down by the side of the river, where Vicky stopped and glanced into the water. “Ugh, I hate when people do that,” she said, nodding toward the dumped shopping cart in the middle of the water. “Ooh!” she said suddenly, her eyes growing wide before I’d even had the chance to respond. She clapped her hands in excitement. “I can make it disappear!”

  She closed her eyes and muttered some strange-sounding words, nodding with vigor, and then opened them again suddenly and stared down into the river.

  Suddenly there were two shopping carts.

  Oh my gosh. She quickly looked around to see if I was watching.

  “Er, whoops. Guess I haven’t quite mastered that one yet,” she said, looking a bit embarrassed before she slipped and started to slide down the bank while she screamed. She would have fallen right into the river if I hadn’t reached out and grabbed her just in time.

  “Thank you!” she gasped, looking back at the water. “You just saved me from getting very wet!”

  “I think I just saved you from hitting your head on two shopping carts.”

  “Ha. True.”

  We moved away from the edge of the bank, just to be safe.

  “So when did you find out?” I asked, expecting the answer to be something like a few weeks ago, or a few months ago at most. “That you were a witch, I mean.”

  She straightened up. “Oh, I have known since birth! Or, a toddler, at least, I suppose.”

  Oh. Right. I tried not to look too surprised. But really? She had always known?

  “I suppose I must look a bit unskilled,” she said.

  “Oh, no, not at all,” I said, hurrying to reassure her, even though…yes, that was true. But she was my only friend so far, and she might be the only one who could help me perfect the clairvoyance spell.

  Though as I glanced back over my shoulder and saw that the two shopping carts had now become four, I didn’t much fancy my chances of ever passing my entrance exam.

  Vicky the witch lived in a small apartment with another young woman, who was not a witch. She kept it a secret, apparently. This housemate of hers—Shu—worked nights and slept during the day, but I still declined the offer to come inside when I dropped her off at home. I had work to do on May’s case, and I couldn’t keep putting it off. But I promised that I would come back and visit soon.

  “I hope so,” she said from the passenger seat while the engine was still running. “I really want us to be friends, Ruby!”

  “Me too,” I said with a smile. “You’re the only witch friend I have.”

  “Well, I am pleased to be the first!”

  She was lingering just a little bit, so I took the opportunity to investigate. Just a little.

  “Were you and Clover close?” I asked.

  “Oh, not at all.” Then she looked at me and added a ‘whoops,’ like she wasn’t supposed to say that.

  “It’s okay, you can tell me the truth.”

  She frowned a little. “You’re some sort of detective, right? So, you’re going to find out what happened to Clover? Who killed her?” she asked a little uncertainly, as though she didn’t even know what a PI was. Which didn’t actually surprise me all that much.

  I nodded. “Yes. Well, that’s the plan.” Amongst other plans.

  She shook her head. “There’s no way that any of the witches could have done it. It is strictly forbidden to kill one of our own.”

  I just stared at her for a moment before I could respond to that. “You know that it is strictly forbidden to kill anyone, right? There are laws against it and everything. People even go to jail for it.”

  “Oh. I guess I never thought about it that way.”

  But it was interesting. Clearly there was some kind of code, some sort of internal justice system, that they had in the coven. So if anyone had broken it, they weren’t just breaking the laws and risking the jail sentences that applied to mere mortals. In fact, there might be an even greater punishment for a witch killing a witch. From the look on Vicky’s face, that was the impression I got anyway. And she looked frightened.

  “So, I have to take a sort of entrance exam,” I said. “I have to perform one of Geri’s spells. The clairvoyance one.”

  She nodded, and her eyes widened a little. “Oh, that’s a pretty easy spell. Well, it is for most people. I still struggle with it.”

  Of course she did.

  “How long have you been practicing it?” I asked, almost scared to hear the answer.

  “Twenty years or so.”

  Right. Well, I had five days to master it. So, Vicky was just going to have to be at her witchy best, and she wa
s going to have to become the best teacher anyone had ever had over the next five days.

  “Come on, I’ll quickly show it to you now!” She opened the car door and started to climb out. “We’ll just have to keep our voices down so that we don’t wake up Shu.”

  I hadn’t been planning to go inside, but I needed all the help I could get, even if it was from the world’s wonkiest witch.

  We crept into the house and kept to the kitchen, with the lights down, while Vicky hunted for the ingredients. Strange things like dragon’s blood and lizard’s nails were in mason jars on the top shelves.

  “Ah, what does your housemate think all these are for?” I asked.

  “Luckily, she doesn’t prepare many meals at home. She mostly eats takeout. And works late nights.”

  “And what about the cauldron?”

  Vicky laughed. “I told her it was for decorative purposes only. Sometimes she stores her shoes in here. Whoops, I’d better take these out actually,” she said, pulling out a pair of heels.

  I watched carefully and wondered if I ought to be taking notes. Then again, this was Vicky we were talking about, so it might be better to take notes on what not to do.

  I was half-joking, but then it suddenly wasn’t so funny. Because that was actually what I should have been doing.

  “Okay, you taste it,” she said and passed the ladle to me.

  “Eww,” I said, thinking it would have the same rank smell as Geri’s had had, but instead, it smelled kinda sweet. Hmm. Kinda bubblegum-like. In fact, it smelled so delicious that I WANTED to take a sip, so I did.

  She clearly had not read one of the labels correctly in the dark.

  “Uh oh.”

  “What is it?” I whispered.

  “I may have accidentally done it in reverse,” she said. “The spell, I mean.”

  Up until that point in my life, my greatest struggle had always been that I could hear other people’s thoughts. And now it seemed as though I had the opposite problem.