Legal Briefs (Lawyers in Love)

by Silber, N. M.

  “Are you okay, Lily?” Cam asked politely as he and Mark sat back down. Suddenly, I felt the need to explain this foolish mix-up.

  “Bruce spiked the punch and didn’t tell me,” I said, slurring my words noticeably. “He also told me to eat lots of snacks, so I wouldn’t get drunk later. The snacks were really salty, though, so I kept drinking the punch. That’s kind of ironic, don’t you think?” I asked with a giggle and a hiccup.

  Once I started giggling I couldn’t stop and I got dizzy, so I attempted to sit down. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a chair where I thought there was, so I hit the ground a second time. Everyone got up to help me, but I quickly pulled myself up using the edge of the table.

  “I’m good!” I said, trying to sound casual.

  Then everyone offered me their chair, but I didn’t want to displace anyone, and I told them to please sit back down. I noticed that there was an empty chair on the other side of Mark, and I decided that would work, so I started to climb across his lap to get to it. At the time it seemed to make sense. After all, it was the shortest path between the two points.

  “Uh, Lily!” Gabrielle said, sounding panicked. “You know that’s Mark, right?”

  She startled me and I paused halfway across, sliding down with a thunk, my knit dress allowing enough give for one leg to rest on each side of him. That left me straddling him with my skirt riding up to mid-thigh.

  “Yeah, hi. Excuse me please,” I said, my face about two inches away from his as he looked at me, appearing stunned. “I’m just going to go sit in that chair next to you, okay?”

  “Uh, sure,” he said with a friendly smile. I started squirming around trying to pull myself up again, and he gasped a little and put his hands on my ass. “That’s good,” he said huskily and gave me a slightly dazed look and a very friendly smile. Just then another pair of hands grabbed my waist and lifted me back up to my feet.

  “Here, let me help you,” Adam said, pulling me against him tightly.

  He maneuvered us around the back of Mark’s chair and then pulled over a second empty chair from the next table. He sat me down on one and took the other one himself, keeping his arm around my waist and his hand firmly planted on my hip.

  “Well, that was interesting,” Braden, who had joined us, said to Adam.

  “Yeah, thanks for helping,” Adam said, glaring at Mark.

  “I didn’t want her to fall.” He looked very amused as he poured himself a cup of beer.

  “You heard what happened. It’s not her fault,” Gabrielle said emphatically.

  “I didn’t say it was her fault,” Adam replied, giving Mark another dirty look.

  “She surprised me! I would have helped her get there,” he said defensively.

  “Well, she’s there now and Adam’s got her,” Braden broke in. “So, let’s move on.”

  “It’s nice to see you two getting along so much better after all this time,” Jess said, looking highly amused as Adam pulled me closer to him.

  “He licked my Fruit Roll-Up.”

  “Licked your what?” Cam asked with a startled laugh.

  “Need I remind you again about the glitter incident?”

  “That was an accident,” I said, looking up at him. Wow, he was hot. I just stared for a few seconds and enjoyed the view.

  “Yeah, well I accidentally licked your Fruit Roll-Up too,” he answered, looking back down at me curiously.

  “Just because I didn’t throw myself at you like Shari Edelstein.”

  “In preschool?” Cam asked, sounding confused.

  “They’ve moved on to Junior High,” Gab explained helpfully.

  “Are you jealous?” Adam teased. “Because I’ll be happy to make it up to you.”

  “I’m not jealous of Shari Fucking Edelstein,” I muttered angrily.

  “Really? Because you sound jealous,” he said with a smirk.

  “Who in the hell is Shari Edelstein?” Mark asked.

  “Some chick I made out with at my Bar Mitzvah,” Adam answered, finally looking amused. “She slapped me when Lilith, here, walked in on us and caught me feeling her up.”

  “At your Bar Mitzvah?” Braden laughed. “Like when you were thirteen?”

  “Lily and I share a long and sordid past, beginning with the glitter incident. Even though she’s not jealous, she’s obviously carrying around a deep, inexplicable hatred for some chick I made out with in a stairwell fourteen years-ago.”

  “Inespic explic espic? She was a total fake! You don’t act like you’re all offended just because you get caught with a guy’s hand on your tits.”

  I broke away from Adam and leaned forward quickly, making a sweeping gesture for effect, and nearly knocking over the pitcher of beer. Luckily, Mark had very quick reflexes. Then I leaned on the table, knocking over several empty cups, as Cam and Braden swept several full ones out of the way in the nick of time.

  “If I had known that you were so open-minded, I would have felt you up in the stairwell instead,” Adam said, grabbing my waist with both hands and hauling me back against him before I fell out of my chair. He wasn’t just holding my waist with one arm anymore. Now I smooshed up against him and he had both arms around me. Hey, this was pretty nice. His muscles were hard and he was as warm as a furnace.

  “What was with the showgirls, by the way?” I asked. He was holding me so closely now that I had to twist around in his arms to talk to him. Now my legs were pushed up against his and our faces were only inches apart. His breath didn’t smell like beer, though. It smelled like peppermint. Mine probably smelled like a Tijuana gutter.

  “She was a showgirl in Junior High?” Cam asked, still looking confused.

  “Not her. She’s talking about the act I put on at my Bar Mitzvah. It was obviously a more significant day for her than it was for me.”

  “He sang ‘I Did It My Way’.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Yeah, well, I seem to recall someone quoting Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech at her Bat Mitzvah. No delusions of grandeur there.”

  “Nobody appreciates intelligence. They all want the girl with the big rack.”

  “For your information, you have a big rack,” he said, eyes dropping to my chest “And if it makes you feel any better, I can tell that yours are real.”

  “No way! See, I told you she was a fake!” I poked him in the ribs.

  “Hey! I can understand your desire to touch me, but be careful.”

  “I have to tell Marcy Kaplan!” I sputtered gleefully, twisting back around. The news that Shari’s famous tits were made of sweat-socks would make every girl in our class who Shari had maliciously filled with adolescent angst feel vindicated.

  “Isn’t Marcy Kaplan in the Peace Corps now?”

  “How do you call Africa?” I asked, picking up someone’s cell phone from the table.

  “Why don’t you email her later?” Adam asked, removing the phone from my hand and handing it to Mark, who pocketed it tactfully.

  “I feel like we should email Shari and tell her we’re on to her,” Jess said with a laugh.

  “She used to brag about how all the guys wanted her. She made us all feel, inada, inada, not good enough.”

  “I think you need to resolve this Shari Edelstein thing,” Braden joked.

  “I’ll tell you what, when I take you home tonight I’ll feel you up in the stairwell and then maybe you can finally let it go,” Adam said, actually turning me toward him again so he could look at me.

  “Don’t you think you should ask me if I’ll let you take me home?”

  “You asked me to take you home, you lush. I believe that was the night you informed me that if I wanted to fuck you I should ask you on a fucking date.”

  “Good for you, honey!” Jess chimed in.

  “This wasn’t the date was it?” I asked, suddenly panicking.

  “No, this was the pre-date socialization. I can’t wait for the date!” He laughed.

  “You’re taking Adam to that author party tom
orrow, Lily, remember?” Gab asked.

  “Yeah, that’s right! It’s going to be fun! I get to be a bad girl!” I joked, and giggled, looking over at her with a delighted smile.

  “Because she’s going as Lilah Alden!” Gab exclaimed, suddenly. “Oh God. I just told everyone else your pen name, too.”

  “Don’t worry, baby,” Braden reassured her. “Adam told us days ago.”

  “Yeah, I’ve already read two of her books,” Cam agreed, earning a raised eyebrow from Jess. “They were good! Very … uh, romantic,” he said, giving her an innocent smile.

  “Yeah, I’m thinking this might be a good time to make our exit,” Adam said with a laugh.

  “Alrighty then!” I said, trying to stand up on unsteady feet and promptly falling back onto Adam’s lap.

  “There, now she sat on your lap,” Mark informed Adam with a smile.

  “Do you need some help, man?” Braden asked.

  “If you want to grab her coat,” Adam said, adjusting me on his lap. I wondered if I was crushing his man toys. Actually, if I wasn’t mistaken, everything seemed to be in working order. Oh my, I must be a sexy lap sitter.

  Gab and Jess got up and came around to help me up into my jacket, while Adam stood up and quickly put his coat on and got his keys out. Then wishing everyone a good evening, he came over and put an arm around my shoulders and helped me out.

  His car wasn’t far away and he opened the door and helped me inside. I slumped into the seat and started looking around for the seatbelt but he beat me to it, reaching over and strapping me in. As he was leaning over, I put my arm around him and pulled him toward me. Then I leaned forward, and burying my nose against his neck, inhaled deeply.

  “You smell nice,” I said thickly.

  He froze for a second and I could feel his breathing quicken. Then he turned and leaned in to nuzzle my neck, breathing in deeply and sighing. I could feel his beard and his lips and his warm breath against my sensitive skin and my lady bits got all warm and tingly. I got the distinct impression that he would have liked to have stayed there longer, but he pulled away.

  “So do you,” he said in a husky voice. “I could smell your perfume in here after you left the other night and it drove me nuts all the way home.”

  He went around to the driver’s side and slid in beside me, pausing and looking at me and shaking his head.

  “I don’t even know if you’re going to make it up the stairs,” he said with a laugh.

  “You might have to help me.”

  “Might have to help you? You mean I might have to carry you.”

  “I’m sorry I’m drunk.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “I’m sorry I crawled across your friend.”

  “That wasn’t really your fault either. He could have helped you over there a lot faster and without putting his hands on your ass.”

  “Now you sound like you’re jealous,” I teased.

  “I’ll let you reassure me when you’re sober.”

  “Can I touch you?” I asked coquettishly. I knew I was being naughty, but I didn’t really care very much at that moment. Okay, I didn’t care at all.

  “That depends on where you want to touch me,” he answered with a startled laugh, glancing over at me. I liked that I had surprised him with my flirting.

  “Where do you want me to touch you?” I asked with a giggle.

  “Okay, God. This is a test, right?” he asked, glancing up and sounding kind of desperate.

  “I was kidding. I just wanted to touch your beard. Your five o’clock shadow kind of fascinates me for some reason. Do you shave every morning?”

  “Yes, that’s a good touch. And yes, I shave every morning. My beard just grows fast.”

  “Okay, thanks,” I said and reached out to gently brush the backs of my fingers along his jaw. “It feels prickly but your skin is so soft at the same time.”

  “That feels good,” he said, swallowing and leaning into my touch. “Your hands are soft.”

  “You can thank Bruce for that.” I giggled, tracing the line of his sideburn lightly. “I can hardly remember what you look like clean-shaven now. I guess I’ll have to check you in the morning sometime,” I teased, as I traced his jawline with the tips of my fingers.

  “Jesus, Lily.” He let out a slightly ragged breath. “You drive me so crazy sometimes.”

  “What did I do now?” I asked defensively, pulling my hand back.

  “Not crazy bad, crazy good. Touching time is over now, though. I need to think about baseball for a few minutes.”

  As Maroon Five sang One More Night, I settled back into my side of the car, and while he thought about baseball, I thought about how his beard would feel against the skin of my inner thighs.

  Chapter Eight

  “Where are we?” I asked a few minutes later. Even in my drunken state, I knew that my building didn’t have a parking garage.

  “Somewhere with a working elevator,” he said, shutting off the engine and turning to me. “You are about to become the only woman, other than my mother and sisters, who has ever seen my apartment.” He got out and came over to my side, opened the door and reached across to unbuckle me. As he did, I couldn’t resist, I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. It was so thick and soft. He froze and breathed in deeply, closing his eyes for a second.

  “It’s your goal in life to torture me, isn’t it?” he asked hoarsely, moving again to unfasten my belt. He put an arm around me and helped me to my feet.

  “I could make you feel really good, baby.” I repeated his line from the club with a giggle. Suddenly, however, anxiety reared its ugly head. “What’s going to happen if I’m not a challenge anymore? I don’t need any more rejection, Adam. I get plenty of that from my family.”

  In vino veritas as they say. It didn’t really sink in at the time that I had just voiced my deepest pain and fear in a parking garage to a guy who had once intentionally left deli meat in my gym locker over winter break.

  “You, Ms. Adler, will always be a challenge. And allow me to repeat, I’ve never brought a woman to my apartment before. Perhaps when your brain is no longer pickled, you’ll find some significance in that.”

  The elevator arrived and he helped me in, slid a card and pushed seven. I turned around to face him. I wasn’t done yet! Oh, no siree Bob! I was on an In Vino Veritas Roll, baby! I probably would have confessed to anything at that point.

  “Do you know why the characters in my book look like us?”

  “Pure coincidence?” he asked with a smile.

  “Because I was fantasizing about us doing all those things together when I wrote it.”

  “Are you trying to make me cry?”

  We arrived at our floor and he helped me out and to his apartment. He unlocked the door and flicked on the lights, helping me out of my coat. Thankfully, my head was finally starting to clear a little bit. I took a quick look around and saw a tasteful, understated, masculine atmosphere.

  “This is nice, Adam, no empty pizza boxes, no neon beer signs. Why haven’t you brought other women here?”

  “Because this is my private space, and bringing someone here is an act of intimacy. Do you feel like you need to puke? If so, I need you to step away from the suede couch.”

  “Well, that started out really nicely,” I said, rolling my eyes. “No, I’m not going to puke.” I sat down on the suede couch and he came in to where I was sitting and handed me a glass of iced water.

  “I’m going to go find you something to change into just in case,” he said, walking off somewhere. He was back a couple of minutes later holding a T-shirt with a picture of McGruff the Crime Dog on it. He was kidding, right?

  “I’ll bet you get lots of tail with that one,” I said, and promptly broke into a snorting giggle fit. I really did crack myself up.

  “I got it at a law enforcement training thing,” he said defensively. “It’s pretty long. It should cover everything you need to cover.”

  “
You don’t want to see my lady bits?” I teased.

  “Not on a night when I can’t get better acquainted with them,” he answered, looking pained. “Just for the record, while I may wind up touching myself, I have no intention of touching you while you’re in this condition.”

  “Just as well. I would prefer to be fully aware of what you were touching. Where should I change?” I asked, managing to remain standing. That was progress.

  “The bedroom’s through there.” He pointed to a door at the end of a short hallway.

  “Okay, so if you need me I’ll be naked in your bedroom,” I teased in a flirty voice.

  “Maybe I should come along to watch so I can catch you if you fall down on the bed.”

  He won that round. I backed down and went off to change. The lights were on already, and I saw that, like the rest of the apartment, Adam’s bedroom had a modern, masculine feel and was stylishly done in black and gray. I looked around curiously. There really wasn’t all that much personal about it, though. It was a guy’s bedroom. Hmm. I would be the first woman to sleep in his bed. I liked that. It looked comfy and soft, and the pillows probably smelled like him too. Oh, man, stop it, Lil. You don’t know how to think about baseball!

  I tore my eyes away from the bed and glanced around the room one more time. He seemed pretty neat. No underwear on the floor. I wondered for a second what kind he wore. I had a feeling he was a boxer briefs guy. I was almost tempted to peek, but I decided it would be more fun to find out by unwrapping his package, than digging through his dresser.

  I quickly slipped out of my dress, bra and stockings and folded everything neatly onto a chair, my first hint that I was starting to sober up a little. Adam’s T-shirt smelled a little like him, and I inhaled shamelessly as I slid it over my head. It did, in fact, cover my lady bits, ending at mid-thigh. His comment about torturing him floated back to me as I looked at myself in a mirror guiltily. I was pretty scantily clad, but I figured, what the hell, he had seen me in a bikini; how stimulating could a McGruff the Crime Dog T-shirt be?

  From the look on Adam’s face when he turned around and saw me, it would seem that McGruff could be more stimulating than one would think. He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a groan as his eyes dropped to my body.