Full Surrender

by Joanne Rock

  “Come here.” He would have gone to her, but he was still a little numb. He was also wary of spooking her by showing her how much he wanted this. “Please. Will you just come here?”

  Between her uncertain step forward and his arms reaching out, he caught her. Drew her against him. She stumbled a half step, but then she was tucked tight to his chest, the top of her head just below his chin where he could rest his cheek and breathe in the scent of her hair. Her arms went around him and her skirt wrapped around his legs in the sea breeze.

  He held her that way for ten steadying beats of his heart before his body reminded his brain what she’d just asked of him. All that numbness evaporated. Like a fireball shot into an oil spill, there was sudden ignition everywhere and a tremendous rush of heat.

  “Is this your way of letting me down gently?” Stephanie wiggled free of his arms, backing up a step. The flower that she’d stuck in her hair was starting to wilt, no doubt a little crushed from when he’d held her. “Because if this is just a nice attempt to say no—”

  “Yes.” He bit out the word more sharply than he’d intended. “I say hell yes. I have to leave in three weeks for another six-month deployment, so I won’t be in town for long. But if you’re cool with that and don’t mind that this is short-lived...I want to be with you.”

  He straightened the red flower, tucking the stem more securely behind her ear and trying like hell to smother the inferno threatening to consume him from the inside out.

  Her eyes went wide. A smile started, but she lifted her hands to her face, hiding it.

  “Seriously?” She sounded happy. A little breathless. “I hope you’re not saying that just because you feel bad for the awkward girl who sucks at seduction. It’s just that I feel safe with you and—”

  Danny kissed her. No hesitation this time. His blood still simmered for wanting her, so it wasn’t exactly a chore to seal her lips with his and cut off that line of thinking in no uncertain terms.

  She sank into him, her body pliant and warm. She tasted like cinnamon, her lip gloss as edible as the woman. Her soft, yielding mouth reminded him of other kisses, other times she’d given herself to him. And as much as he loved those past days together, he wanted this kiss to be all about the present for both of them. A moment belonging so fully to the here and now that they’d never confuse it with the past.

  Edging back, he whispered, “Not a chance.” He stroked up her spine to thread his fingers through her hair, the water swirling higher around their legs as the tide came in. “This is about me and you and new beginnings.”

  “Yes.” She nodded fast, obviously liking that idea. “A do-over.”

  “Exactly.” They’d be safer that way, he thought. The more they focused on the present, the easier this would be for both of them. “Are you ready to leave the past behind and enjoy the moment?”

  Using her hands, she steadied herself on his shoulders as a wave rolled past them, splashing up to his knees.

  “Very ready.” Her affirmation was all the encouragement he needed.

  Lifting her against him, he tipped his forehead to hers.

  “Here’s to a clean slate,” he said softly.

  He twirled her in the surf with him, her damp skirt twining around his legs. Too late he saw a high wave speeding toward them. He turned to shelter her and take the brunt of the water on his back, but the force was too great, pulling them down, submerging them both in the Chesapeake Bay.

  3

  AS THE WATER CLOSED over his head, Danny kept Stephanie pressed tight to him. He hadn’t meant to haul her into the surf without warning. But Stephanie had always had a sense of adventure and spontaneity, just like him.

  Or so he thought until she started to struggle in his arms.

  Blasting straight to the surface, he pulled her high out of the water, arms locked around her waist and shoulders.

  “Are you okay? I didn’t see that wave coming until it was too late.” He scanned her face, trying to get a read on what was wrong. “Is it too cold?”

  Water sluiced down her face and shoulders, her dress straps sagging on her arms. Her flower had disappeared and her dark hair was plastered slick to her head. What scared him most was how pale she’d gone.

  “I’m fine.” Her eyelids fluttered. Her heartbeat throbbed fast in the blue vein that stood out sharply against her pale throat. “I just... It was dark and I couldn’t see for a second.”

  He frowned. Fear of the dark?

  She’d never been freaked out by not being able to see before. So it only made sense something had happened between now and then to give her that kind of phobia. No doubt it had to do with her abduction. In trying to distance them from the past, he’d unwittingly thrown her right back into it. It would kill him thinking about how she might have developed that new fear, but he’d be damned if he’d ask her about it now, when they were supposed to be focused on a fresh start.

  “I’m so sorry,” he muttered against her forehead. Being with Stephanie was going to be filled with landmines for both of them. “I should have gotten us to the surface faster. I didn’t realize...”

  It never occurred to him she might panic. He cursed himself for his insensitivity.

  “It’s all right.” Her pupils were wide despite the sun still high in the afternoon sky. She wrapped her arms around herself, her teeth chattering. “I was just surprised.”

  “Come on.” He draped an arm across her shoulders and steered her toward the shore. “You can dry off inside.”

  “Thanks.” She wrung out a fistful of wet hair as they trudged toward the shore, soaked clothes weighing them down. “I promise I’m not usually spooked that easily. I love the water.”

  Yeah. He remembered that about her. They’d taken midnight swims in the pool at her town house those days they’d spent together on Long Island. Sat in the Jacuzzi tub for hours.

  “Maybe we can hit the beach sometime when it’s not such a surprise.” He scooped up his shoes as they reached the shore, then guided her back toward the patio and into the house. “Let me get you a towel.”

  He saw a blanket on the back of the couch and grabbed that instead. Wrapping her up in blue fleece, he assessed the damage. Her eyes were focused. Clear. Her color seemed better. And he would make damn sure it stayed that way.

  “You want a shower while I put the food on the table?” He gestured down the hall while they dripped on the rug near the French doors. “There’s a bathroom off the spare bedroom on the right. It connects to a walk-in closet that has some extra clothes. You can grab a T-shirt or whatever you need out of there.”

  “Sounds good.” She gave a firm nod, as if she was as determined as him to put the incident in the water behind them. “Thank you.”

  Her gaze roamed over his face, slowing at his mouth, lingering there. Was she thinking about that kiss they’d shared, too? He still couldn’t believe what he’d agreed to out in the bay with her. In a perfect world, they’d take things slow and easy. Not rush into anything. But if she kept up those long looks of hers...he’d find it hard to be the sensible one.

  * * *

  SLIDING INTO ONE of Danny’s T-shirts, Stephanie paused to bury her nose in the cotton at one shoulder. Granted, she probably only smelled laundry detergent. But there was something about wearing a man’s clothes that made her feel sexy and safe at the same time. Like having some of Danny’s strength around her 24/7.

  Wouldn’t that be addicting if she wasn’t careful?

  She pushed the wicker basket full of clean shirts back into the closet cubby, reminding herself that part of the reason Danny seemed like a safe choice right now was that he’d only be home for a few weeks. She hadn’t known that his stay would be quite that short, but she’d realized it was inevitable he’d go back to sea for his job. No chance of getting in over her head with a guy due to leave before the month’s end.

  Pulling through her tangled hair with a wide comb she’d found in a drawer by the sink, Stephanie peered into another wicker bask
et and found a stack of running shorts. She dug deeper until she spied a gray pair with a drawstring waist that might cinch enough to fit. Her underwear was soaked, so she’d have to go commando. Which might be fine down below, but up top? She stepped from the closet back into the bathroom and checked her reflection. A second T-shirt was definitely in order if she wanted to give the girls halfway decent coverage.

  Snagging a second white T-shirt, she pulled it over her head, determined to enjoy her time with Danny from this moment forward. She’d freaked out in the water, but she was done with that now.

  Yes, she’d been traumatized when her assignment in Iraq had turned hellish. The family who’d grabbed her and reporter Christina Marcel had been coerced into doing so. Apparently, the family had angered Iraqi insurgents the week before when their oldest son had met with Christina to be interviewed for a story on the effects of the war on the Iraqi people.

  Furious that the young man had talked to American reporters, insurgents had killed him and demanded the family use their connections to abduct and hold the reporters or risk seeing another one of their sons gunned down. Her captors hadn’t been as cruel as seasoned rebel soldiers might have been, but Stephanie had still been terrified of them, knowing they would do whatever the insurgents wished.

  She hadn’t been raped, although she’d been beaten when she was first taken, to keep her from trying to escape. She’d been scared to death and she still had nightmares about being kept in the dark.

  But she’d dealt with it. Put it behind her. And now, years later, she was finally ready for this. For Danny Murphy, the last great memory she had before she went to Iraq. Keeping that in mind, she padded through the hall toward the big, open kitchen.

  “It smells fantastic,” she observed lightly, hoping to get this day back on track. She’d survived the worst of her awkward request of Danny, so now she only had to enjoy the fruits of her embarrassment.

  He’d said yes, after all. She shivered just thinking about what that meant.

  “I hope you brought your appetite.” He stood by the coffee table, arranging plates and glasses on the heavy plank top so they could eat on the sofa. Steam wafted from the plain white dishes loaded with manicotti and red sauce. Salad bowls were heaped with fresh greens and grated cheeses. And a bread basket held several slices of the baguette, some that were plain and some slathered with butter and lightly broiled.

  He’d changed into dry shorts and a worn black concert T-shirt for some obscure band, the lettering peeling. His dark hair was still damp and sticking up in a few places as if he’d just used his fingers to shove it out of his eyes.

  Her mouth watered for the man as much as the meal.

  “I didn’t realize I was hungry until now.” She edged around the sofa to take a spot in front of the low table. “The view is pretty great, too.” Realizing she happened to be staring at him at the moment, she pointed hastily out the window. “I mean, of the bay.”

  He sat beside her on the sofa.

  “I like the view, too.” He never took his eyes off her. While that comment sank in, he lifted a glass of water and handed it to her, then raised his own. “Here’s to old friends.”

  Her heart beat fast. She resisted the urge to tug at the layered T-shirts she wore, knowing her body would be sending obvious signals about how much he affected her. The soft cotton created a pleasurable friction against her breasts.

  “Cheers to that.” She clinked her tumbler to his and sipped the water, hoping it would help cool her off. “Don’t let me slow you down, Danny. You must be starving.”

  She gestured toward his plate and he grinned.

  “I’ll try not to inhale it,” he said as he picked up a fork and dug in.

  Following suit, she tasted the manicotti and promptly realized what he liked about the simple dish. The cheese filling was light and amazing. The pasta obviously homemade. And the sauce—yum. She’d polished off half of it before it occurred to her that, delicious as the food was, she wasn’t coming close to fulfilling her real hunger.

  Setting her fork down, she wondered how to move things forward with Danny.

  “So...” she began, watching him help himself to more of everything. “I don’t mean to sound overly practical about this, but I wondered what you thought of the logistics of...er...you and me?”

  He eyed her over a forkful of pasta.

  “I may have been out to sea for six months, but I’ve still got a pretty good idea of how the logistics work.”

  His wolfish grin stirred her more than the earnest touches of her last—and only—boyfriend after what had happened in Iraq. She had thought something was wrong with her for months while she’d dated Josh, a guy who worked for the agency that had helped with publicity for her book and that vetted the responses she still received on her memoir. She’d thought she wanted to pursue a real relationship with him and had blamed her lack of sensual interest on her ordeal. After all, she had shut down emotionally in a lot of ways afterward.

  But maybe the truth was that spark just hadn’t been there with Josh. Not the way it was with Danny. She got back to hammering out the details for a fling, hardly daring to believe it was really going to happen after all this time.

  “I mean, where should we conduct this liaison? Here? Or would you like to come with me to my place in D.C.? For that matter, we can find a neutral location if you want to go out of town for a few days.”

  He seemed to ponder the idea while he ripped off a piece of bread.

  “Can you take some time off from your work?” He passed the bread basket to her, but she couldn’t eat another bite.

  “I’m in a good position with work. A friend is filling in for me at the studio and I cleared my personal appointments for a couple of weeks.” She finished her water and then realized how that sounded. “Although, I was also giving myself a vacation. I don’t expect you to hang out with me all that time. I know you must have things to do here since you’re not home all that often.”

  “Actually, I promised my folks I’d head home in a couple of days. I’m spending ten days back in Cape Cod so they can invite all the family and throw a big shindig for me the weekend before my brother Jack’s wedding. It’s the only reason they didn’t meet the ship when I came home.”

  “So you don’t have much time.” She bit her lip, wishing she had him to herself a little longer. Plus, knowing he’d only be here a few days put an awful lot of pressure on her to get this affair off the ground in a hurry. “Unless we could do this after you get back to Norfolk?”

  She was already mentally rearranging her schedule. Beside her, Danny put down his fork on his empty plate.

  “Why don’t you just go to the Cape with me?” He finished his water and set the glass on the table, his full attention back on her.

  “With all your family? For a wedding, no less?” She knew a little about the Murphys thanks to her friend and former coworker Christina, Danny’s cousin—Stephanie and Danny had met at Christina’s house all those years ago.

  The Murphy family was huge, with five biological brothers and a sixth who they’d fostered. They were also wealthy beyond her imagining, owning a hotel conglomerate with interests that spanned the globe. Danny’s father was a Fortune 500 executive, and he’d always expected Danny to go into the family business. She’d read a little more about the Murphys in the past year, which was how she’d worked up the nerve to phone Danny’s mom a week ago. No matter that his dad sounded like a driven business guru, the articles online had depicted Colleen Murphy as a dedicated humanitarian and down-to-earth person.

  “Why not? There’s lots of room back home, so it’s not like we’d be right on top of everyone else. I usually stay in the gatehouse, so I’ve got some privacy while I’m there. And two of my brothers have places nearby so they wouldn’t be underfoot anyhow.” He propped an elbow on the back of the couch, facing her. “They’re not a bad group. Competitive as all hell, but they’re good guys. And the thing is, I hear they’ve all got women in tow no
w. So if you don’t go, I’d be the only stag Murphy in the bunch.”

  “They’ve got women in tow?” Stephanie wondered if she should be offended. “Will I be in tow?”

  “Okay. Poor choice of words. Technically, I’ve got two brothers engaged, one getting married and two more sapped out over women they’re dating.” His hand strayed close to her shoulder and she imagined its weight on her skin. Its warmth smoothing over her bare flesh. “I haven’t even met Kyle’s or Axel’s new girlfriends so that’ll be a trip.”

  “Won’t it be a lot of pressure for you to show up with me?” She wasn’t sure she was ready for family scrutiny when she’d only just barely worked up the courage to reclaim her sleeping sensuality after all this time. “I mean, will people expect us to be a real couple?”

  “No one is going to expect anything.” He frowned. “But if it makes you uncomfortable—”

  “No.” She didn’t want to miss out on the time with him. Family or not, she preferred to have more time with Danny since she didn’t expect to solve her intimacy issues overnight. As much as she wanted to test the waters with him, she worried she might take two steps forward and one step back. “I’d love to go to the Cape with you. Thanks for asking.”

  “Great.” He settled deeper into the couch cushions, his fingers finally straying closer to her shoulder. He smoothed a touch along her upper arm, just below the seam of the white cotton fabric of the T-shirt. “That settles that. Now we just need to figure out what to do for the next couple of days until we leave.”

  Was it her imagination, or had his voice grown softer? Seductive. The hooded look he gave her revealed nothing, but it sure heated her insides.

  “I can go back to Norfolk.” She knew it was a foolish offer as soon as she made it. She’d asked him to re-create their affair, hadn’t she? Why back away like a scared rabbit now that he’d said yes? “I mean, I don’t want to infringe on your downtime if you’d like a few days to rest and...whatever.”

  “I think it would be great if you’d stay with me. Right here.” His thumb circled a small patch of her skin, giving her goose bumps everywhere else.