Prodigal Son: A Novel
Page 11
“So she says. That’s still a long way off. She’s in high school,” Michael said, smiling. “She takes wonderful care of her mother.” It was easy to see how proud he was of his daughter. And she inquired about Bill in London, and when he was coming home. Michael said not for a while. Mabel patted his arm with her clawlike hand as she stood in the doorway. Considering her age, she was doing pretty well, and Michael waved as he got in his car. There were three messages on his cell phone about patients whom he still had to see before he went home that night, and he headed back to his office. But the most recent message was a cancellation. The patient he had been planning to see for a rash said she was feeling better and didn’t have time to come in after all.
He started the car, and then bowed his head for a moment, wondering if Maggie was right. Her words had haunted him since she said them, and as he looked up, he turned the car in the direction of West Brookfield. He didn’t really have time, but something told him that her point was a good one, and he should see his brother, even if he didn’t want to. Once he made the decision, he stepped on the gas, and drove steadily until he got there. It took him just under half an hour. He hadn’t been out to the lake house in years, and it still held the same happy memories for him as it did for Peter.
He turned into the driveway, and could see a man chopping down a small tree. He recognized him immediately, even from the back. Peter was listening to an iPod as he hacked away at the tree and didn’t hear the car approach. Michael got out of the car and walked toward him with a hesitant step. He was two feet away from him, when Peter became aware of someone in his peripheral vision, and his eyes grew wide with astonishment when he saw his brother. Michael was wearing a shirt and tie, corduroy pants, and a heavy coat, in the still-chilly April afternoon. It was almost dusk, and the tree had just fallen as the two brothers stood and stared at each other, and Peter took off his iPod. He had no idea why Michael had come, possibly to ask him to leave town, or never to speak to his wife and family again. Peter frowned when he saw him, instantly on guard for what might come next.
Michael looked shorter somehow, and heavier than when Peter had last seen him. For a long moment, neither brother said a word to each other, and the weight of the years hung between them. Peter felt his hatred and disgust well up in him like a volcano, but as he looked into Michael’s eyes, he saw something different there. He wondered if time had changed him, or softened him, after years of caring for a sick wife, and the gentling effects of his children. Peter almost wondered if he was human after all, and not the monster he had thought him when they were growing up. After all, he had mellowed too. Life wasn’t always easy, and had a way of filing down the sharp corners and rough edges. Peter wondered if that was the case for both of them. It was Michael who spoke first.
“I thought I’d just come out and say hello,” Michael said cautiously, looking embarrassed. This was even harder than he had feared, and he couldn’t read the wary expression in his brother’s eyes. Was it hatred or hope? Peter always appeared fierce when he knit his brows, and in his boyhood it had been what he looked like just before he unleashed a mighty punch at someone he felt threatened by, but as he wiped his brow on his shirt, after felling the tree, he slowly smiled at his brother.
“That was nice of you,” he said honestly. He wouldn’t have done the same himself, and he had made no effort to contact his brother since he had come back to Ware two months before. And probably never would have, if Michael hadn’t come out to the lake.
“It was Maggie’s idea,” Michael said with a sheepish expression, not wanting to take credit he didn’t deserve. That was new, Peter noted. In the past Michael had claimed anyone’s good deeds as his own, mostly Peter’s. He didn’t do that this time, and gave his wife the full credit for the gesture he had just made. It showed a modesty and humility Peter had never seen in him before. Michael had also attributed all of his own misdeeds to his twin. But they weren’t children anymore. There was a remote possibility that he had changed.
“How is she really?” Peter asked with a look of genuine concern. “I was happy to see her the other day, outside the supermarket, but it was hard to tell how she is, sitting in the car.”
“She doesn’t get out much,” Michael admitted. “She can’t afford to risk exposure to infection, and she’s had a pretty rough time for the past two years. She was heartbroken over her father’s death and selling the mill, but there was no way we could keep it, and then she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s right afterward. It’s still in the early stages, but we can’t hold it in check forever. It’s a progressive disease, and she was already so fragile before that.” Peter could see all the love and worry on his brother’s face and in his eyes, and he felt sorry for both of them.
“You’ve done an amazing job taking care of her for all these years,” Peter reassured him. “She’s still alive. Do you want to come inside for a cup of coffee or something?” He had bought a bottle of Johnnie Walker for himself, but he didn’t want to sound like a drunk offering it to him right off the bat, although it might have made the meeting easier for both of them. But Michael shook his head.
“I’d love to come by another time. I haven’t been here in years,” not since their parents died. “I’ve still got patients to see right now. I just wanted to come out to see you.” He had felt compelled to do so, and now Peter was glad he had. It was a bridge to the present from the past, and for the first time in so long, Peter was beginning to think it was possible to build one, maybe thanks to Maggie. He had never thought that could still happen.
“I’m happy you did,” Peter said sincerely, the storm clouds lifting from his eyes.
“How did you make out in the financial crisis on Wall Street? I saw that Broadbank closed,” Michael commented, which explained why he was here. He was obviously out of a job. It was a dark intermission in an otherwise stellar career, from what Michael knew of his professional life. In spite of his awkward beginnings, Peter had turned into a star. But for now Peter was living in poverty at the lake. The seesaw of life.
“I’m wiped out,” Peter said honestly with a rueful smile. “Ground zero. It’s all gone, so I’m here for a while.” He didn’t tell Michael about the collapse of his marriage, but Maggie had told him about that, and Peter had assumed that she would if she admitted to seeing him at all.
“You’ll get back on top one of these days,” Michael said reassuringly. There was obvious empathy in his voice, and Peter was touched. This was a man he didn’t even know. “I know it must be tough.”
“It is. It’s hard on everyone right now. My kids just moved to L.A. to live with their mother and grandfather. I want them to come out to the lake this summer, to do the things we used to do.”
“Fight, argue, and beat each other up?” Michael said, laughing, and Peter laughed too.
“Yeah, among other things. Like fish and water-ski.”
“It must be hard for you with them out there.” It was obvious that Peter missed them, and Michael knew it had to be lonely for him without his kids.
“Yeah, I miss them like crazy,” Peter admitted. “I’m getting a divorce. End of an era. It’s a fresh start, but not one I wanted. It’s kind of nice being here at the lake. It’s a simple life.” Michael could see that from Peter’s lumberjack shirt, heavy workman’s boots, and stained jeans. He was doing manual work, and living nearly cost free, except for food.
“Would you like to come to dinner tomorrow night?” Michael asked on the spur of the moment. “Lisa is a pretty good cook. And on her good days, we bring Maggie downstairs. I’d like it if you’d come, and Maggie would too. She hardly gets to see anyone anymore. People forget you when you’re shut in the way she is.”
“I’d love that,” Peter said with a look of genuine gratitude. This was a whole new brother, and Peter longed to have family in his life again, even the twin he had hated for years. This seemed like an entirely different man to him. They were like two old friends as they caught up on each other’s liv
es, standing outside their parents’ old cottage at the lake. “Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?”
“No,” Michael said with a slow smile. “It would be great.” Maggie had been right, and he was so glad he’d come. They both felt enormous relief, as though the pressure had been let out of an old wound. Healing had finally begun, for both of them. “Eight o’clock? I don’t get home much before that,” he said apologetically, and Peter laughed, with a peaceful look.
“My social calendar is pretty free up here. I’m looking forward to it. Anything you want me to bring?”
“Just you,” Michael said, as he reached a hand out and touched his brother’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you, Peter.” He sounded as though he meant it, and Peter’s heart instantly went out to him. He hadn’t known it, but this was the moment he had waited for, for fifteen years. It was time now for both of them to make amends, and they were ready for it. Michael’s gesture of coming out to see him at the lake had been an important one for them. Peter knew their parents would have been pleased. His mother had hated the constant rift between them, and had begged Peter to make peace with his brother the last time he saw her. Both brothers had refused. But fifteen years was a long time, and many things had changed.
“It’s good to see you too,” Peter said in a choked voice as he walked Michael back to his car. “Thank you for coming out here,” particularly knowing how busy he must be, running between patients all day long. “See you tomorrow,” he said, as Michael got back in his car, and looked up at Peter with a smile.
The two brothers waved to each other as Michael drove away, and then his car was out of sight, and Peter walked into the house and poured himself a glass of Johnnie Walker, not to numb himself this time, but in celebration. For the first time in his life, he felt as though he had a brother who cared about him, and whom he in turn could love. It was a great feeling as he put the glass to his lips, took a long swig of the scotch, and smiled. Maggie had given both of them a fantastic gift, a chance to have the brother they had longed for all their lives.
Chapter 9
Dinner at Michael and Maggie’s the next day was a festive event. Lisa had made her recipe for roast chicken, with cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, and fresh string beans. She had even bought an apple pie and ice cream on her way home from school. She wanted to impress her uncle with what a good cook she was.
Peter arrived promptly at eight o’clock, and Michael managed to come home a few minutes early and helped Maggie into a warm white cashmere sweater and a pair of comfortable jeans. She had brushed her dark hair till it shone. She didn’t put on makeup, she rarely felt well enough to bother anymore, and Michael said he didn’t care. But she looked pretty and young, as he set her down gently on the couch. The smells from the kitchen were delicious, and Peter commented on them immediately when he arrived, as Lisa bounded out of the kitchen with a broad smile, and her hair piled up on her head. She was wearing a pink sweater and jeans, and she looked a lot like Maggie had when she was young.
Lisa stood next to her father as they greeted Peter, and they looked almost like a couple, as Peter said hello to both of them. And then he saw Maggie lying on the couch, waiting for him to come in. She was propped up on pillows, and her walker stood nearby. There was a wheelchair in the front hall. It was easy to see that this was the home of an invalid, and she was frighteningly pale. But she looked happy as she said hello to him, and he bent to kiss her cheek. He had brought an enormous bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne. They had something to celebrate that night.
“The prodigal son returns,” Michael said, as he had to Walt Peterson when he first heard about Peter’s return, but he was happy about it now.
“Yeah, and I didn’t ‘spend it all on riotous living,’ I lost it all in the worst stock market crash in U.S. history since the Depression,” Peter said ruefully. “But at least I’m home.” He sank onto the couch near Maggie’s feet. She looked so fragile that he was almost afraid to injure her when he sat down. Her skin was so white, and she had dark circles under her eyes, but she was in good spirits, and she got to the dining table under her own steam with the walker. Michael offered to carry her, but she refused. She didn’t want to look like a tragic figure to Peter, however ill she was. He saw that one leg still dragged from the accident, and she seemed weak to him. It took her a little while to get to the table, with Michael walking beside her looking concerned. Peter noticed all of it, and especially how ghostly pale she was. Her delicately veined hands were almost blue. But she didn’t move around much either, and Peter guessed that her circulation couldn’t be good. She choked once on a sip of water at dinner, and Michael watched her closely. Her respiratory system was compromised by the Parkinson’s, and her ability to swallow was lessening and would disappear entirely one of these days.
Lisa regaled them all with stories about school, and Peter asked about Michael’s son Bill halfway through the meal.
“We lost him to the big city, just like you,” Michael said sadly, as Maggie lowered her eyes and looked at her plate while she continued eating dinner. He could see that she was sad about it too. It wasn’t easy living far away from your kids, as Peter had learned himself recently. He missed Ryan and Ben every moment of every day. “He went to London for junior year and never wanted to come back home. He graduated last year, and he’s at the London School of Economics getting a master’s now. He says he wants to stay there when he finishes. He’s just not a small-town guy. It suits me, and Maggie and Lisa, but it’s not for him. He loves London. We can’t even get him home for holidays anymore. He hasn’t been home since last year.” Michael looked at his wife sympathetically. “It’s really hard on his mom.” And Peter knew it had been hard on his own mother too, when he had left home and never wanted to return. It had been agony for Peter to come back here, because of his war with Michael, and he had always delayed it as long as he could. He was sorry about it now, especially seeing the good time they were having. Maggie looked happy as she watched the two brothers talk, and exchange stories about their childhood, some of which actually sounded like fun. Both of them had forgotten those good times until now. They were mostly fishing stories, and camping out with friends.
It was a perfect evening, and as soon as they finished dessert, Michael carried Maggie back upstairs. He looked worried about her, although she had been animated at the table, and was obviously having fun. He didn’t want her getting overtired. She kissed Peter on the cheek, and he hugged her, before Michael took her up. And as he lay her on their bed, he took out the blood pressure cuff and looked instantly concerned when he saw what it said. He didn’t show her how bad it was, so as not to frighten her, but he told her that her blood pressure had dropped while she was downstairs. It was never a good sign, and Maggie looked scared. There was always a price to pay for whatever she did, and sometimes an evening downstairs could cost her days in bed, until Michael felt she had regained her strength.
“It was a long evening for you,” he said guiltily, sorry for a minute that he had invited Peter to come. He didn’t want Maggie getting so exhausted that she got sick.
“I enjoyed it,” she said with a happy smile.
“Thank you for giving me back my brother,” he said with a deeply moved look. “I never knew we could have so much fun together. He turned out to be a really nice guy. I wish I’d known that before this.”
“I’ve always known it about both of you. I’m glad you’re back together too.” She knew that they would need each other and the bond they shared one day when she was no longer there. She was always preparing for that, and she wanted to leave them all in a good place. This had been an important step for the twins tonight, and it was her gift to them.
“I want you to get some sleep now,” he said, handing her a sleeping pill and a glass of water from her night table. “You’re overtired.” And they both knew that could have dire consequences for her. She didn’t want that either, and she took the pill from him without complaint. She w
as exhausted, but she had had a great time. It warmed her heart to see Michael and Peter together. In some ways they complemented each other. Michael was more serious, and Peter was full of fun, now that he wasn’t angry all the time. He had had a hard time growing up, and always felt like he was in Michael’s shadow. Peter had accomplished a lot since then, on his own, despite his recent misfortunes, which he seemed surprisingly philosophical about. He seemed saddest about his divorce, and living so far from his sons. He had promised to introduce them to Michael and his family when they came to visit him.
Michael went back downstairs as soon as Maggie was settled, and there was obvious worry in his eyes when he joined Peter and Lisa. She was washing the dishes, and Peter was helping, as he told her about Ben and Ryan. He was very proud of them, and he was enjoying his niece too. Peter could see how close Michael was to his daughter, and how much he relied on her to help with her mother. She was totally reliable and responsible and an adult at sixteen. She had a lot on her shoulders and so did Michael, at work and at home. Peter was sorry for him that his son had moved away. But it was understandable, Ware was a small town, and Bill was young and wanted a more exciting career and life. There wasn’t much to do here.
“How is she?” Peter asked about Maggie. He could see the worry in Michael’s eyes when he came down.
“Pretty much the way I’d expect after a long evening. It’s a lot for her,” Michael said sadly. There was a lifetime of regret in his eyes, and Peter’s heart went out to him.
“I hope I didn’t wear her out,” Peter said, feeling guilty. She seemed so normal despite her deathly pallor, and her will to live was strong. It had kept her alive for years, in defiance of her medical problems and now advancing Parkinson’s disease. “Have you taken her to specialists in Boston to see what they can do?”
“I know her better than they do, and I love her. I don’t want them destroying her quality of life any more than it is now. They would run batteries of tests on her, do unneeded surgery for some of her problems, and turn her into a guinea pig. People with head traumas like hers develop all kinds of complications over the years. She just has to live with it, and so do we,” Michael said staunchly, and Peter nodded. Maybe he was right, although Peter would have been more inclined to avail himself of the latest research to help her, but there was always a risk in that too. Peter had always been more of a risk taker than Michael, and Michael made a good point about the quality of Maggie’s life and not making her a guinea pig. She didn’t want that either, and had said it often to him. She wanted to stay here, and be cared for by him. He would follow her wishes till the end, he just hoped it wouldn’t be soon. But that could change at any moment, and he was constantly aware of it.