The Earl of Heartbreak

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  "You are infatuated with her." Lansdale spoke the words so easily that Rayne almost missed them. Almost. But not quite.

  "I would not say infatuated. No, not that." He quickly bit into another tart. "I have simply known Lady Sarah and her family for a very long time."

  "You love her," Lansdale corrected. "Have no fear. I am not attempting to take her from you. I am merely making an observation. For I know that look. I felt the same about a woman once. She's gone now, but the feeling still remains. It is how I know."

  Rayne wanted to contradict the man, but he could not. To do so would be disingenuous and wrong. It would also be a lie. Not to mention that Lansdale truly didn't seem to mean any harm by his observation.

  "Our relationship is...complicated," Rayne finally managed. "We have both danced around the issue of attraction for so long that I am uncertain either of us know where we stand."

  Lansdale seemed to consider this for a moment. "While I do not know Lady Sarah well, what I do know I like very much. If you find that this dance no longer suits you, know that I would protect her and keep her safe. I could not offer her love, but I could offer her more than spinsterhood."

  At Rayne's slack-jawed expression, the marquess shrugged. "Apparently Sarah mentioned something to my sister earlier about it being her plan to retire from Society rather than be trapped into a marriage with a fortune hunter or a man like Baron Hodge, whoever that odious fellow might be. Pearl then mentioned the entire affair to me. In time, I will need a wife and I have the impression that Lady Sarah's family means a great deal to her. To leave them behind would hurt her greatly. I could not offer her love, but I could offer her closeness to her family instead, as well as the safety and protection of my title and name. It would be a better fate for her than moving away to the far north to this Sayton Abby she speaks of and resigning herself to a life of loneliness."

  It was on the tip of Rayne's tongue to object. After all, this man and his sister had just met Sarah today. What did they know of the situation? Especially since Rayne had never heard of this particular plan involving the Tillsbury family's castle in Northumberland. Then again, just the mere fact that he knew the name of Sayton Abby was a point in his favor.

  For a moment, Rayne wanted to take back every kind thought he had just had about Lansdale, but he couldn't. For what the marquess was offering made a great deal of sense, even if Rayne did not wish to hear a word about it. It was also among the kindest and most generous offers Rayne had ever heard in his life. Rayne could never have Sarah, but Daniel Weston, Marquess of Lansdale might very well be another choice for her. A choice Sarah didn't even know was available to her when she had come up with this foolish plan to leave Society. And apparently move to the north country, though Rayne had never been informed of that last part.

  "I shall...consider what you have said." The words felt thick in Rayne's throat, as if he might choke simply by speaking them.

  Lansdale nodded. "That is all I ask. Lady Sarah is lovely and I am well aware that I must marry, likely sooner rather than later. Since my marriage can never be for love, friendship is a good second option. After today, I feel as if we could have the basis for that. Not to mention that Pearl adores her."

  This was all happening too fast. Rayne wasn't ready for this. The idea of Sarah marrying anyone was...well not what he wished to think about. Again, he knew that the unwelcome event would likely happen some day. She would not remain unwed forever. However, he had also not considered that the someday might be now.

  Nodding, Rayne felt the dinner he had just consumed begin to turn in his stomach. "And if Lady Sarah has, shall we say, secrets of her own?" Because he needed to know if, when this was all over and she did choose to marry the marquess, he would even have her if she was not quite so innocent as she was at this very moment.

  Surprisingly, Lansdale smiled serenely. "Who among us does not have secrets, my friend? If one does not have secrets of some sort, then one hasn't really lived. At least not where I come from." He shook his head. "No, she is a lady and, secrets or no, she is lovely and kind. To me, that is all that matters. The rest? It is inconsequential."

  For a moment Rayne wondered how the man could simply not care whether or not his wife was a virgin when they wed. Then again, he admittedly knew little about life in the upper echelons of American society. For all he knew, innocence was not as highly prized there as it was in England. It was an intriguing thought and one that made him realize he knew a great deal about ancient societies but precious little about any modern ones save his own.

  "That is good to know." Rayne cleared his throat. "Not that Lady Sarah does have secrets, mind you. Or if she does, I do not know them as I am out of the country rather frequently. However since she has shown no inclination to wed, it is possible that she does. I merely thought you should be aware."

  "Thank you." Lansdale cast a sly glance in Sarah's direction once more. "As I have said, I will not poach another man's lady. That is not my style. However, Lady Sarah is far too beautiful and stunning of an English rose to allow her to languish in the north country. Especially not if I can help her avoid that fate." He shrugged. "If she would even have me, of course."

  Rayne snorted and shook his head. "Oh, she would have you if you asked. Of that I am certain." In fact, he had never been more certain of anything in his life.

  He was also just as certain that he would be the one to have Lady Sarah. First. Before anyone else. Tonight. Much as he liked Lansdale, she would never be his. At least not if Rayne had anything to say about the matter. And at the moment, he decided that he had rather a lot to say about that particular topic.

  Chapter Ten

  Long after the evening had ended and the Lansdale carriage had rolled back down the drive, Sarah remained awake in her bed staring at the ceiling and wishing she had the courage to seek out Rayne.

  Dinner this evening with Lord Lansdale and his sister had been enjoyable, but it had also driven home how hopelessly in love she was with Rayne. The marquess had been utterly charming and attentive. Even when he was in deep conversation with Rayne, Daniel had been casting her appreciative looks out of the corner of his eye. She should have been flattered and she was. She should have also been falling quickly for the handsome American marquess who had so thoroughly bowled her over earlier in the day, but she did not.

  In fact, all she could think about was how he would make a lovely friend and how she would be delighted to help Lady Pearl with her entrance into Society despite her earlier misgivings. And nothing more.

  There was no more spark of attraction between them any longer, at least not as there had been earlier in the meadow. Oh, he was still goldenly handsome but in the dancing candlelight, all Sarah could do was compare the man to Rayne and realize that for as perfect as Lansdale was, he was still not as perfect for her as her thoroughly imperfect Earl of Heartbreak.

  Sarah had also come to agree with Rayne that this maddening dance between them needed to stop. They could go forward or back, but they could not remain as they were. He was correct. It was not fair to either of them. Especially not when both of them were longing for more.

  If she possessed the courage, Sarah would simply grab her wrapper and leave her room this very instant. She was truly that far gone where Rayne was concerned. After all, the servants were all abed, even Colleen who had once more lectured her mistress about the completely unsuitable Lord Raynecourt and the perfectly delightful Lord Lansdale as she had readied Sarah for bed only a few hours ago. Sarah also knew that Rayne was occupying the green bedchamber in the east wing. It was the first one on the right and easy to reach without being seen, especially as the moon was nearly full, its silvery light playing along the corridors of Hallowby Grange like beacons in the night.

  However, despite her desires, Sarah did not have the required courage, mostly because there was a part of her that still worried that Rayne did not truly desire her. Or rather, that he did not love her. She was not so foolish as to mistake one for the othe
r. He had agreed to seduce her, yes, but that was not the same thing as giving her his heart. Even though she had already given him her heart long ago without him realizing it.

  Would she be better off to simply approach someone like Lansdale and see if he was interested in something more than friendship? Not a man like Baron Hodge, certainly, who thankfully hadn't appeared to darken her doors since that first morning. But involvement and marriage to a man like the marquess would not be so awful. Sarah did not love him, but she did find him attractive. Not to mention that she liked him well enough.

  Was that enough to build a marriage upon? Was spinsterhood truly her only choice for her future? For she had just that day discovered that Violet Hill was not an option for her, as that estate's manor house had been specifically bequeathed to her sister Aurelia in her father's will. That revelation had been something of a surprise to Sarah, and now left only Sayton Abby in the north as her only possible destination. It was not her preferred one since she would be so far away from her family. However, if she wed Lord Lansdale - assuming that he would have her, of course and could overlook her flaws - she could remain in the area. She would not be forced to endure a life alone - something that she was beginning to realize would not suit her.

  Except that Sarah burned for Rayne and only him. She always had. Would never seeing him again be enough to purge him from her fevered brain? Was that even possible? Or would she forever long for a man she could not have, picturing his face every time Lansdale bedded her?

  "Why I am I so confused?" Sarah asked softly into the cozy confines of her bedchamber. "What I am I going to do?"

  "You can start by getting undressed," a deep, masculine voice all but purred. "Or if you prefer, I can perform the task for you."

  Sarah let out a small yelp but quickly recognized Rayne's voice, her heart beginning to race in her chest at his presence. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, thankful that the darkness hid her blush. "What if someone saw you coming here?" She was also a bit annoyed that he had possessed the courage she lacked. Then again, seducing women was nothing new for him. Sarah herself seducing a man on the other hand was not something she had even attempted before. In truth, she had never wanted to.

  He leaned lazily against the doorframe and smiled, the flickering lights from his branch of candles giving his face a peculiar look - half dark and half light at the same time. One man, but with two very different sides. "Coming to seduce you, my lady. You did ask me to, did you not?"

  Clutching her sheet against her chest, Sarah sat up, well aware that the thin nightrail she wore to combat the relentless summer heat was almost sheer. He could see her. "I...I did. But I did not think..."

  "That I would actually do so?" Rayne peeled himself away from the wall and strolled towards her lazily. With the dancing light of the few candles scattered about her room, she could now see that he had removed much of his clothing. All but his evening trousers and shirt, it seemed. Even his feet were bare. She had never believed that male toes could be so...attractive. But they were. At least Rayne's were.

  "Something like that," she admitted quietly. "I know we spoke about this earlier but..." She waved a hand in the air. Whatever words she was trying to say would not come. Instead, all she could think of was how delicious Rayne looked lounging in her bedchamber and how she very much wished to see what lay beneath that shirt.

  Over the years, Sarah had accompanied Rayne to many museums and art galleries. She was one of the few people - be they male or female - who were willing to endure his endless history lessons that inevitably went along with such trips. Therefore, she had some idea of what a nude male form looked like. However she had the feeling that when it came to the Earl of Heartbreak, all of the sculptures and paintings she had seen before were merely poor substitutions for the real thing.

  And with that single thought, her mind went wild, going places and imagining things no proper lady ought.

  "Did you believe I would change my mind?" he asked darkly as he stalked towards her, an air of almost dangerous anticipation surrounding him now. "Do you think that after that endless and altogether maddening dinner tonight, I would decide to simply back away and allow Lansdale to have you? To have your innocence?"

  "No. Well, yes. Perhaps. Maybe?" Sarah had been vaguely aware of Rayne watching Lansdale watch her all evening. "I don't know." At the moment, there was precious little she did know.

  He snorted indignantly. "Well I won't. I know Lansdale would have you to wife if you wished. He admitted that very thing to me this evening. All you would have to do is express interest and he would be off to London for a special license. And you have thought about such a proposition, haven't you? Admit it, Sarah. I know you have."

  "Only if I cannot have even a small taste of you." Sarah would not deny she had given the matter some thought since that morning - especially after learning that she could not reside at Violet Hill. "I know you do not promise me a future, Rayne, but I would gladly trade a future of security with the marquess for even one evening with you. In fact, I would take even an hour with you over a lifetime with him." No matter how confused she became, she was also certain that would always be the case.

  "He would still have you, you know." Rayne stopped his advance a few feet from Sarah's bed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. As if he wished to hit something. Hard. "Even if you are no longer chaste, Lansdale has informed me that he doesn't care a whit. At least not where you are concerned. He simply needs a wife of good breeding who is willing to both wed and bed him, not to mention overlook the fact that he is more American than English, I suspect. Though he did not mention that last part specifically. And he does find you pleasing. He says he could not love you, for his heart was lost long ago to another, but he feels that you could be friends. He would wed you, Sarah, if that is what you desire."

  His look even darker than before, Rayne shook his head as if to dismiss the thought from his mind. "And we both know I cannot promise you anything, Sarah. Frost would draw and quarter me if I even tried. Still, you need to know. So you can choose." He all but glared at her with a scowl etched upon his handsome face. "For if I take one more step towards you, I do not believe I will be able to stop. And if I were to lay a finger upon you, and you did not truly wish me to do so? I would not be able to live with myself."

  Swallowing hard, Sarah met Rayne's fierce gaze with one of her own, her temper flaring a bit. "For a man bent on seducing me, Brook Bexley, you are doing a rather terrible job of it. Should you not be extolling your prowess in bed? Or informing me of how well and how thoroughly you can debauch me? How much pleasure you can give me, far more than any other man is capable of doing?" She snorted. "Instead, you are informing me that another man, one I have only just met mind you, would have me to wife if I wished, even if I am no longer a virgin. I am no expert on these matters, but that seems a rather poor way of going about a seduction. Unless you know something that I do not."

  "I need you to know that you have a choice," Rayne ground out, his teeth clenched. "That I am not your only option. Because what I wish to do to you, Sarah? It will change you. Nor can it be undone. I had thought I could hold back, but I know now that I cannot. So I need you to be certain. Very certain. It is possible that you desire me only because you have always done so."

  "It is also possible that you are a bloody idiot."

  Rayne smiled. Sarah had called him that once before when he had angered her. A few days ago in fact. He was beginning to wonder if, for otherwise prim and proper Sarah, that was actually an endearment. He decided to take it as one.

  "You mind is made up then?" There was a part of Rayne that still wished Sarah would change her mind. For this little adventure would likely cost him his friendship with Frost in the long term. Neither Rayne nor Sarah would ever tell Frost of course, but still, an act like this changed things. It changed people. Frost would have to be blind and deaf, and also possibly a lackwit, not to notice. Sadly, he was none of those things.

  Rea
ching up, Sarah undid the small ribbon at the throat of her nightrail. The very thin, single ribbon that held the sheer bit of fabric in place. And with a single shrug of her shoulder, the nightrail slithered down her body to land in a pool at her feet.

  "Does that answer your question?"

  There was no lack of courage in his Sarah, that was certain. In fact, though she claimed otherwise, Rayne could not think of a single woman of his acquaintance who was as fierce and determined to obtain what she desired as Sarah was.

  "Very much so." Rayne resumed his steady pace towards her and he saw a brief flash of fear in her eyes, but then it was gone just as quickly. "I want you, Sarah. Since the time you were all of the tender age of eighteen, that has not changed."

  When he stopped just a whisper of breath away from her delightfully naked body, he suddenly heard her breathing change. It was rapid and shallow. She was just as aroused as he was. Delightful!

  "You are perfect," Rayne sighed as he reached out to stroke a single breast with his knuckle. "Even more so than I imagined."

  "I am not too...curvy?" There was a hint of uncertainty in her tone and he wished to banish it immediately.

  "Not to me." With his other hand, he reached out and ran his palm down her side until it came to rest at her hip for a moment. He flexed his fingers and felt something odd beneath them but he paid the curious sensation no mind. All he could see was Sarah, naked before him, and she was perfection incarnate. Then he pulled her closer, so close that she could feel the hard press of his erection against her stomach. "To me, you are everything I could ever desire."

  He kissed her, lightly at first before he tunneled his hands through her hair, undoing her night braid in the process. When her hair finally tumbled free, he clasped the back of her head tightly and tilted her head back, teasing the silken strands through his fingers. "Just as I had imagined," he whispered as he nuzzled her neck.