The Earl of Heartbreak

by Bethany M. Sefchick

  "How long have you known? About us, I mean." There was no sense pretending otherwise. Her brother was an intelligent man, and he likely knew that if Sarah was here searching for Rayne at this hour, looking as if she had just tumbled out of bed that there was more between them than mere friendship. She would not insult him to pretend otherwise.

  He shrugged and looked away for a moment. "Since that first day I arrived here at Hallowby." He finished his drink and then poured another. "At first I did not know what you two were about, though Rayne seemed a little too practiced in his ennui for my liking. It was as if he was trying too hard, though I could not put my finger on why. When you walked in, however, there was this glow about you, a glow I had never seen before. At least not on you. But I have seen it on Lavinia and I see it in Eliza's eyes when she looks at Candlewood." He sighed again. "I knew then you were in love and I knew it had to be with Rayne. Much as I later wished and hoped that it might be Lansdale, I could not fool myself after what I had seen. You and Rayne? My best friend and my sister? The two of you have been in love with each other for as long as I can remember. I was the fool not to acknowledge it earlier."

  Sarah's eyes went wide. "You knew?"

  Frost flung his hands wide in exasperation. "Sarah, all of bloody England has known for ages! Since you first noticed that men were attractive, I saw how your eyes followed him, especially when you thought no one else was watching. And I saw how he watched you in return. There was a sadness to both of you as the years went on that spoke of something far deeper between the two of you. It is part of the reason why I gave you leave to wed as you chose. However what I could never figure out is why neither of you ever did anything about it. I gave you both every opportunity. Especially you, as he was in our house almost every bloody day, and you are hardly a shy, retiring sort of woman." He snorted. "No matter what the ton labels you."

  Plopping down on the settee with a sigh, Sarah folded her hands in her lap. "At first, I thought he didn't care for me, you realize. There was always a string of mistresses and lovers. That is why I did nothing, if you must know." She was a little miffed at Frost that he had not mentioned any of this earlier. If he had, it could have saved all of them a great deal of heartache and aggravation.

  "That," Frost declared as he took the seat beside her, "is your inexperience speaking, my darling sister." Strangely, he did not seem upset by this turn of events. Disappointed might be a better choice of words.

  "You also said repeatedly that no friend of yours was allowed to court me," she reminded him tartly as she plucked the glass from his hand and drained the contents in one swallow, surprising him to the point that he raised his eyebrow at her in disbelief.

  Frost closed his eyes and shook his head as she handed the glass back to him. "That was for my other friends, not Rayne! Did he honestly believe that edict applied to him? Is the man really so dense as all that? Are you? Lord, Sarah, I thought you knew better! All I was trying to do was warn others off so that they would not interfere with the two of you making a successful match if that was what you both wanted." He reached out to take her hand. "All I have ever wished for you, Sarah, was that you would be happy. That you would find a man who would see you as you are, and not hold your scars against you. Who would not hold your past against you."

  Sarah gave him a wan smile, feeling a bit lost in that moment. Or perhaps it was a combination of the liquor and the lack of sleep. Whatever the reason, she knew she was not thinking clearly. "Perhaps you should have explained that to Rayne. Or even to me." She bit her lip. "And, just so you know, he does not hold my scars against me."

  This time Frost grimaced openly. "So he knows then." Her brother looked as if he might cast up his accounts at the thought.

  "He does. He saw them and he did not flinch. Not even once." Sarah saw no sense in denying what had transpired. Or lying about how far the matter had gone. What was the point?

  "How long...ah...has this gone on? For although this pains me to say it, there is only one way he could have seen those scars of yours for himself." Frost gave Sarah a deeply pained look. "I don't want specifics, mind you, just a general idea. In case I have to murder him or something later on. For instance, if he still refuses to wed you after I give him my blessing. Which he has had all along, the cork-brained idiot. I'd like to know what, precisely, I am killing his worthless hide for before I do so."

  Sarah bent her head and sighed, uncertain how her brother would take this next bit of news. "Since he first came to Hallowby a fortnight ago. Not the first night, mind you." She paused. "But not long after, either."

  Sarah was beyond mortified. This was not the sort of thing that one discussed with one's brother. Or anyone, really, for that matter. However, she also knew that if she wished to have any chance at a future with Rayne, she needed to do this. She needed her brother's blessing before she approached Rayne, knowing that he likely believed that he was doing the best thing for both of them by staying away. He was damnably honorable like that. Or honorable in his mind, at the very least. Secretly, she agreed with her brother that at the moment, he was being a cork-brained idiot.

  Still, Sarah loved Rayne, and he was a man who had spent all of his life denying himself what he desired most. He was afraid of committing to anyone or anything, save for his immediate family, always fearful that they would be yanked away. Now that he and Sarah had found happiness together, was it any wonder that he simply did not believe it could last, and had left her before she could be the one who left him? Or was forced by her family to leave?

  "I...see." Frost had taken a long time to answer and Sarah could almost see him mentally doing the calculations in his mind and then casting a side glance at her stomach. In fact, he was rather obvious about it and she knew precisely what he was thinking. Unfortunately, she did not have an answer for him on that particular topic and likely wouldn't for some time yet. "And I am to be happy about this? Is that what you are asking of me?

  "No, that is not what I am asking. I am answering a question that you asked. You should not have asked if you did not wish to know the truth. Also, do not blame Rayne for this," she snapped. "I asked him to seduce me. He resisted at first, but I wore him down."

  Frost did not look as if he particularly believed that. "How noble of him. I am certain he tried so very hard to resist you."

  "As hard as you did when you entered Lycosura and found Lavinia?" Sarah knew her words had hit their mark when Frost went red with embarrassment.

  "You should not know of such things," he chided her. "It is unseemly for a woman to know about brothels and such! Especially a gentleman's sister!"

  In response, Sarah sniffed indignantly. "Then you should not have taught me how to listen at doors so effectively when I was a child. Or even visited a brothel in the first place! Or brought a woman home from such a place, even if she was to become your wife!"

  Frost bowed his head in embarrassment. "Touché, Sarah." Then his expression softened a fraction. "So you love him then? Truly?"

  "As you do Lavinia." Once more, Sarah refused to lie. Especially about something as important as this. "He is the only man I have ever loved. Since the time I was a young girl, there has only ever been Rayne."

  "And what of Lord Lansdale?" Frost raised an eyebrow. "I saw you in close conversation with him last night. He would make a suitable husband if you were so inclined. Of course, it is your choice, as it has always been." There was a hopeful note in her brother's voice as he inquired about her interest in the marquess.

  She shook her head slowly. "He is a friend. Nothing more. At first, there was attraction and a flirtation. I will not deny it. I will also tell you that he has offered for me, though he has given me time to come to a decision regarding my affections. If, after this, Rayne still refuses me, then I shall seriously consider Lansdale's terms and likely take him up on his offer to become his wife. I do not think spinsterhood would suit me and I am afraid I would likely wither away in the north."

  "That is a good thing. I
never wished to see you live that sort of life. It would not have suited you." Frost seemed pleased about the marquess' offer, even if Sarah refused the man in the end. "I never wanted that for you and always wished I could provide you with another choice."

  "Daniel feels the same, fortunately for me." Frost raised his eyebrows at Sarah's use of the marquess' Christian name.

  She was not surprised when he questioned her further. "Daniel, is it?"

  Once more, Sarah was determined to tell her brother the truth. Lying and omissions were how they had gotten into this mess to begin with. "It is. We are friends. There is also attraction between us. I shan't lie about that, either. We would have a good life together. There might not be love, but there would be affection. And children." Once more, Frost all but blanched at her raw words, which Sarah found humorous given her brother's own reputation with the ladies. "But wonderful as Daniel is, he does not hold my heart."

  "Rayne does." Sarah could see in her brother's eyes that he finally understood. And that the two of them had his approval.

  "He always has and he always will." For Sarah, there would never be another.

  Frost nodded in agreement. "Then I think you should..."

  He wasn't able to finish his thought before the doors to his study burst open and Baron Hodge stormed in, clearly in a fine temper. His face was flushed red and he was still wearing his evening clothes. Apparently no one had slept in their own beds the previous night.

  "Do you know what your harlot of a sister is about?" Hodge bellowed, hands on his hips, his large belly sticking out in front of him. "Do you know what she has done in your absence? How she has defiled your family name?"

  Frost sighed and rose from his seat beside Sarah, making certain to keep himself between her and the baron. Sarah also noticed that he was careful to snag his crystal tumbler full of whiskey. Not a good night for any of them, then. Well, it had been for her. Before Rayne had taken it into his fool head to run off, anyway.

  For a moment, Sarah wondered if she needed a weapon should the baron get out of hand, then decided against it. Frost was here. Then again, what if something happened to her brother? She spied a letter opener on the nearest table and slid it into her hand just in case. It never hurt for a lady to be prepared. Especially with a man like the baron stomping about.

  "No," Frost replied as he moved towards the bookcase to be closer to Hodge, giving the large floor globe, which was identical to the one back in his study at Chillton House in London, a good spin. He did that only when he was extremely angry, and Sarah took that as a good sign. He hadn't done it before when she had confessed her attraction to Rayne. "However, unless I miss my guess, Baron Hodge, I am certain you are about to tell me all that she has done and more." Still, Frost was acting completely unaffected by the baron's presence, something that surprised Sarah.

  "She has been going about professing to be betrothed to Lord Raynecourt when I know very well that you would not countenance such a thing! The man is a scholar, for God's sake!" Hodge spat the word out as if being a scholar equated to one being a leper or something equally as distasteful. "He is not appropriate for a woman like Sarah who clearly needs a firm hand to bring her under control. She requires a true man who will bring her to heel at once and not one who I suspect might very well be a molly! All of that book learning is unnatural, I tell you! Unnatural!" Hodge tugged officiously on his waistcoat. "I also suspect that disgusting man has already defiled her, no matter how he leans in that regard. You should be thankful that I am willing to overlook that little matter and will wed her anyway."

  Frost raised an eyebrow and in that moment, he looked so very much like his friend Lord Candlewood that Sarah wanted to laugh. Mostly because Candlewood was completely terrifying when he did the same thing and Frost was - merely amusing. At least to her. Thankfully, she restrained herself. If Frost was going to strangle the baron, she didn't want him to be distracted from his task.

  "You will? How...kind of you." Frost's voice was all but dripping with sarcasm.

  Hodge puffed and preened like a gigantic, overstuffed peacock. "I will. You should be grateful that I even still want the chit after all of that. However, I am prepared to make sacrifices to lend a helping hand to my neighbors when necessary. I shudder to think how all of you would suffer if she was to wed someone like that American. Lansdale, is it? Horrible situation for all. Just horrible. I'm here to offer you a solution to all of your problems. No need to thank me, of course. It's the least I can do after so long of an association with the venerable Chillton title, after all."

  "I...see." Frost spun the globe again lazily, his eyes flicking back to the baron on occasion. "And Lady Sarah's rather sizeable dowry and the fact that you will gain entrance into the upper echelons of Society have nothing to do with her appeal to you? Even though she is no longer chaste, as you so correctly point out. Nor the fact that your rather sizeable brood of children has run off yet another governess or three, and you are in need of female help who can't escape quite so easily? Or that your funds are all but depleted? Or that, given how you have been spying on my family as of late, you likely know that my sister and Lord Lansdale have already formed something of a friendship and you are worried that he might court and eventually wed her? That 'the American,' as you so kindly put it, might be her choice for a husband?"

  "Certainly not! And I do not spy! I am insulted by the very suggestion of such illicit activity!" Hodge blustered and Sarah noticed that he was beginning to sweat profusely. This attempt to coerce her into marriage was obviously not as easy as the baron had assumed it would be. "I have been amenable to wedding your sister since she came of age. You know this. We have spoken on the subject several times over the years."

  "We have. In fact, I remember each incident very well." Frost inclined his head lazily and gave the globe a final spin before he stood upright once again. "And I am certain you remember my response each time, Baron Hodge. My sister is free to wed where she wishes and to whom she wishes. That is my agreement with her, and I am not about to change it."

  "But that wretched man defiled her!" Hodge was raging now, his face beet red and a vein in his temple pulsing wildly.

  "You say she was defiled. She says she was willingly bedded." Frost shrugged as he now leisurely perused his bookshelves. Finally he selected one on the ancient art of swordsmanship. From the expression on the baron's face, the significance of the title was not lost on him. "It is all a matter of perspective, I suppose."

  Hodge's face turned so red that Sarah thought he might expire where he stood. She wouldn't mind except that it would likely make a mess for the maids to clean up. They were busy enough cleaning up after the ball the night before. She would hate to saddle them with yet more work.

  Still, the baron would not back down. "And you, Lord Chillton? You approve of this? You approve of the two of them doing God knows what in that summerhouse last night?"

  "First Lord Raynecourt is a molly and now he is a debaucher of women." Frost yawned and once more Sarah was amazed at how much he had learned from his friend Candlewood. In the past, her brother would likely have had the baron already laid out on the floor long before now. At the moment, Frost was giving Hodge an opportunity to remove himself from Hallowby gracefully and with some dignity intact. It was a pity the other man was not availing himself of the chance.

  Frost slid his finger down the book's spine before returning it to the shelf and slowly turning to face the baron, his arms crossed over his chest. "Now, which is it, Hodge? The man cannot be both, now can he? And how would you know what my sister and best friend were about last evening unless you spied on them? Which, I recall, you specifically just said that you did not do. So many contradictions, my good man. I am beginning to think that you are lying to me." He made a tutting sound to drive his point home.

  Sarah, however, could no longer contain her anger.

  "You spied on us?" she hissed, taking a step towards the man, heedless of the danger he might present. She had her lette
r opener after all. "How dare you?"

  "You were to be mine! Always! I had planned it since I first saw you in that fetching pink gown when you turned thirteen!" Spittle flew from Hodge's mouth and Sarah took a step backwards. "I just knew that I had to wait until you were older, that your narrow minded family would not allow me to have you before then!"

  Frost stepped in between the two of them now, though when he glanced at her fist clenched around the letter opener, Sarah realized his actions were as much to protect the baron as it was to protect her. "You are correct. We never would have allowed you to get within an entire estate's length of Sarah if we had known then what I know now. When we did notice your unusual interest in her, we made certain she was safe. All of us. Rayne included. I also believe that I can now count Lord Lansdale among those who would see to my sister's safety from you as well." Frost flicked his eyes back to Sarah. "You would never have possessed her, and neither I nor anyone in my family would have forced her to be with you." Then Frost's eyes narrowed sharply. "Now get out of my house and never darken my doorstep again."

  Frost spoke calmly, and yet Sarah knew that her brother was only one step away from doing this man serious harm. She needed to help diffuse the situation despite her outburst just moments before. "I will never wed you, Baron Hodge. My heart belongs to Rayne. It always has and it always will."

  "Harlot!" Hodge hissed spitefully. "Whore! If you spread your legs for that man why won't you..."

  Hodge never had a chance to finish whatever other disgusting words he was about to spew. Frost laid the man out with one solid punch to the jaw. When the baron was lying flat on the rug unconscious, Frost looked back at Sarah and shrugged. "I always suspected he had a weak chin."