Montana Cowboy

by Jillian Hart

  “Colbie told me she was doing well considering.” She joined Luke as he shoved the cart down the aisle, hating that sweet Lil had to go through this.

  “She has a lot more challenges, but her spirits are high.” Luke turned, arrowing his cart toward the refrigerated shelves. “It’s hard to keep Lil down for long.”

  “I’ve noticed. Colbie has been keeping me informed.”

  “You and my sisters have become good friends.”

  “And we’ll stay that way.” A blessing she was deeply grateful for. “Brooke has already vowed to come see me on their stopover in L.A. come late August.”

  “That’s right, their honeymoon cruise.” Luke chose two tubs from the shelving. “French onion or ranch? Wait, I already know the answer.”

  “Then why did you ask it?” She chose a container of salsa and added it to the cart. Her fingers brushed his. Just ignore the lightning zap, she told herself and stepped away. “How about avocado dip?”

  “Better get two tubs. You’ve never seen the twins and avocado dip.”

  “What about you?”

  “All I can say is you’d better get another thing of salsa, too. That way there’s some for the rest of you.”

  “The truth comes out. You are a salsa hog.”

  “Hey, I never said I wasn’t.”

  It felt natural at Luke’s side, as if she belonged here and always would. But that wasn’t true. She had to stop and remind herself that she didn’t belong here, not forever. Not in the way she wanted. So why did her imagination betray her by flashing impossible images in her head? Images of a future with him buying groceries in this little store, having fun little moments and sharing jokes as they decided on their purchases. In that image she cradled a baby in her arms while a toddler sat strapped into the cart’s seat.

  Dreams she wished could be.

  By the time they’d turned their cart toward the registers, Hunter beat them to it. He drove his cart into line ahead of them at the only available checker. “Did you remember napkins?”

  “Roger that.” Luke swung into place behind his brother. “Did you get the right hamburger buns, not the cheap ones?”

  “He’s the bane of my existence.” Hunter shot Honor a wink. “Is there any room in your car for me? Maybe I’d like to get away. Give California a chance.”

  “Right. You’d change your mind before you hit the state line.” Luke shook his head. “Don’t pay him any attention. He needs me.”

  “Need, yes. Like? That’s debatable.” Affection belied the man’s words as he began unloading his purchases onto the counter.

  “Uh oh.” Luke leaned in to whisper in her ear. “See that woman ahead of Hunter in line?”

  “The one counting out every penny?” It was hard to concentrate with him so close. His nearness made her heart ache, so it was tough to notice the thin woman counting out coupons to the cashier. A grade-school-aged boy with matching brown hair stood silently beside her

  “That’s Millie Wilson. She’s Hunter’s long-ago girlfriend. He hasn’t noticed her yet.” Luke looked pained, as if he didn’t expect the reunion to go well. “I didn’t know she was back in town.”

  “Will Hunter be okay?” She felt sorry for the man intently loading packages of hamburger buns onto the conveyer belt, unaware of impending heartache. That’s what love did, it made you hope, it filled you with wishes and made you believe in things that never turned out. Things that were never meant to be.

  Don’t go down that road, she told herself, fisting her hands tightly. Falling for Luke? That had been her fault.

  “I can’t take this one. It’s past date.” The cashier handed a coupon back to Millie.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” The woman’s hand trembled as she took the square of paper.

  “That makes your total $17.03.”

  The woman dug in her coin purse. Soft straight brown hair shielded her face, hiding most of her features. “Uh, can you take off the box of crackers?”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Hunter flipped two dollars onto the conveyer belt in the cashier’s direction. “Enid, take it. I’m not gonna wait while—”

  He froze, maybe finally really looking at the woman ahead of him. His jaw dropped and he fell silent, leaving the rest of his thought unspoken.

  “Hi, Millie.” Luke broke the shocked silence. “How’s your dad?”

  “Holding his own, but it’s bad.” She turned toward them, lifting her chin with dignity as she handed the cashier the box of crackers, refusing Hunter’s offer. “They caught it way too late to do anything.”

  “Word has gotten around. The whole congregation is praying for him.”

  “Thanks, Luke,” she answered, counting out exact change and handing them to Enid. “If anyone needs prayers, it’s my dad. It was nice seeing you.”

  She didn’t glance at Hunter, who stood statue-still, staring at the woman who accepted the single bag of groceries and walked away.

  Honor recognized broken hearts when she saw them. She lifted her chin, determined not to let her own heartbreak show. This is what love got you. Hurt and devastation. Smart things to avoid.

  “Hunter, move along, we’re waiting.” Luke nudged his brother. The automatic doors opened and closed, Millie and her child were out of the building but not out of sight of the long front windows. A rusty, thirty-year-old Ford waited for them. “Are you all right?”

  Hunter cleared his throat, nodded and gave his cart a shove forward. His nod might say yes, but his slumped shoulders said something different.

  Some loves a person never got over. She knew just how he felt.

  * * *

  He’d been numb through all this. That was how he’d coped, but the minute Luke spotted Honor’s car in the parking lot, his numbness shattered as if from a bomb blast. Shards and splinters were all that remained of his defenses. Those suitcases stacked in her backseat pierced him to the core.

  This was it. Today was all he got with her. When she drove away from his home tonight, it would be for good.

  With the numbness gone, he didn’t know how to deal. She sauntered over to her car, pulling out her keys and ignoring the chime of her cell phone. “It’s probably Anna Louise. They’re planning my welcome home party.”

  “Sounds nice.” He cleared his throat, wishing his voice didn’t sound raw, and plopped sacks of groceries from the cart onto the crew seat of his truck. “You’re getting lots of cake these days.”

  “I know, right?” She propped open her door, swiping gossamer tendrils out of her eyes. Golden beauty, shining spirit, she was everything he wanted in life. But did she know it?

  No. What would she think if she knew? Luke hefted the last bag into the truck and gave the cart a shove. It rattled neatly into the metal collector he’d parked next to. The way Sonya had laughed at him when he’d asked her to stay flashed into his mind, along with her words. You think I’d choose you over Chicago? He would never forget how breezy she’d been, lighthearted at the prospect of leaving rural Montana.

  Just like someone else he knew.

  Face it, you’ve got to stop falling for city girls. He squared his shoulders and headed straight for the blond beauty leaning against her car, thumbing a message into her phone. She had a full life back home. Her dream job waiting for her.

  Life on a rural Montana ranch couldn’t compete. He couldn’t compete

  “Just sending Anna Louise a text.” She shoved her phone into her pocket. “Beach picnic scheduled for Monday evening about five minutes after I make it home.”

  “Sounds like a good way to celebrate. You’ve been missing that ocean.”

  “Not as much as you think.”

  His heart caught, hoping she meant more, that the evening at the lake meant as much to her as it did to him, but her breezy smile belied those wor
ds. So lighthearted, happy at the prospect of returning home. His throat tightened up, making it hard to speak. “Probably having friends here has helped distract you from missing home.”

  “Probably.”

  “Glad we could get you that social time you were missing.” Each word scraped painfully against his larynx. It cost him to keep his feelings tucked inside, where they were safe, where she would never have to know a small-town Montana cowboy had fallen hard for her. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

  “Fun. Yes, that’s what we’ve been having.” For an instant sadness shadowed her clear blue eyes.

  Making him hope there was something there, that something had changed in her feelings for him, but she firmed her chin and it was gone in a flash. Hard to tell what that was.

  Don’t start hoping, he told himself. That was a sure way to get hurt. And not just hurt. Honor had the power to crush his heart like no woman ever had.

  A dark truck rumbled to a stop. The window rolled down and Hunter scowled at him. “Get a move on. We’re running behind.”

  “I’m coming.” Luke wasn’t fooled. He knew the exact meaning of the look Hunter shot him before motoring away. Hunter had been concerned from the start that no good could come of this. He hadn’t been wrong. Already Luke’s heart was breaking. Best not to make it any worse.

  “You heard the man.” He grabbed hold of Honor’s open door and gestured inside. “Let’s get this party started.”

  “I can’t say no to that.” She slipped into her front seat, as merry as a song. It was a happy day for her and he intended to do his best to keep it that way for her sake, no matter the cost to him.

  Her happiness was all he wanted in life. He closed her door, trying to do the same to his heart. If he could close it up well enough, then he couldn’t feel the devastation about to tear him apart.

  * * *

  Another thing she could say about the McKaslins: they knew how to throw a party. Excellent conversation, tons of laughter and great food. She’d lingered at the picnic table on Luke’s back patio with the others. Only a few chocolate cake crumbs and a small blob of frosting remained on her plate. She didn’t want the meal to end.

  “I’m trying to explain to the customer,” Bree said to her twin. “The monster muffins only come in one size. Monster size. And he said that no, it was because of the iced monster faces and could he please have a smaller one? And I said, no, the monster muffins only come in one size…”

  “—Could not believe Oscar.” Brooke leaned across the table, her hand in her husband’s, her gaze bright with love. “What a good dog. He may have the sit and stay thing down, although I don’t want to say it too soon as it might invite doom…”

  “—maybe I really should get one of these.” Mac, Bree’s fiancé, stole one of his teenaged brother’s earbuds and plugged it in. “It’s cool you can watch TV shows on this thing….”

  But it was Luke’s rich baritone that caught her attention and held it. He and his brother were out on the lawn, wrestling the tetherball poles into place. “A little to your left, Hunter.”

  “You mean your left,” the other man grumbled.

  “That’s what I meant. Your other left.”

  “Honor?” Colbie’s voice came as if from far away, although she was only across the table. “It’s got to be tough leaving, huh?”

  “I never thought it would be.” Why the truth came so easily when she was talking to Colbie, she didn’t know. This was Luke’s sister, the last person she should be confessing to. If Luke knew how she felt…no, she shook her head, remembering how he’d pulled away from her in the rain. How he didn’t kiss her.

  How he’d greeted her in the grocery store today like a good, old friend. How he’d said their time together had just been fun. She ignored the hitch of pain and reached for her glass of lemonade.

  “We’re going to miss you, I’ll tell you that.” Colbie patiently cut a small piece of cake and held it up for her mother. Lil’s good hand rose up, her fingers curling around Colbie’s and took the fork, managing fairly well left-handed. “We’ve gotten used to hanging with you.”

  “There’s still email. We can stay in touch, right?”

  “Absolutely. That’s a promise.” Colbie’s gaze was kind as she took the empty fork from her mother’s hand. “Do you want more, Mom?”

  Lil managed to shake her head, silent when she’d once been so talkative.

  “Okay, then we’re done.” Colbie pushed away from the table. “You’re looking tired, Mom. Let’s get you lying down.”

  Lil shook her head, although she did look pale. Honor appreciated how hard it was to leave the festivities and the family. She rose from the bench, considered gathering up the plates but decided to give Colbie a hand, first. She ran ahead to open the door and held it as the wheelchair rolled by.

  “Thanks,” Colbie sang as she pushed her mom into the kitchen.

  It had to be tough keeping up her spirits for her mother, but Colbie never seemed to fail. Honor went to close the door and her gaze arrowed straight to the back lawn and the wide-shouldered man wrestling with the net. His sandy hair tousled in the wind, his chiseled face gentled by humor and he froze, as if he felt her look on him like a touch. He turned, nodded when he spotted her in the doorway. For an instant he seemed forlorn, as if he’d lost his best friend in the world.

  It was gone in the next breath, replaced by a sunny smile. “You’re on my team,” he called out. “Hope you brought something besides those sandals. I intend to win.”

  “Sorry.” Pain hit so hard her knees went weak. She leaned against the doorframe for support. “You’re gonna lose.”

  “That remains to be seen.” His words carried on the wind, warm and wonderful, wrapping around her like a blessing. A blessing so sweet and welcome, she never wanted to let it go.

  She let the screen door slap shut and wandered through the adorable cottage to the back bedroom. Luke’s room. Neat and orderly, with plain white walls and a blue comforter. She helped Colbie transfer and settle Lil onto the bed, wondering how she would find the strength to leave when the time came.

  It wasn’t fair how you didn’t actually have to be in a relationship to get a broken heart. Even when he didn’t love you back, love was like walking through a mine field. It was only a matter of time before you were blown away, never to be whole again.

  That’s what would happen to her when this party ended and she had to say goodbye to Luke.

  You’re going to have to help me, Lord, she prayed, as she handed Colbie the blanket draped across the foot of the bed. No way could she do this on her own.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Match point.” Luke held up one hand and caught the ball, ignoring the catch in his chest. This was it. The game was almost over. He moved into line, ready to serve. “Whoever wins this, wins the match. Ready?”

  “Bring it!” called Brooke, with her eye on the ball.

  He fisted his hand, swung back and let it go. The ball swooped across the net, Honor leaped to hit it. Colbie rushed in and slammed it home. He watched the ball bounce off the grass, heard Liam’s groan of frustration and that was it. The game was over.

  “Victory!” Brooke’s fist shot up in the air. “Too bad Hunter had to leave, though. Do you think we should see if he needs help?”

  “He would have called.” Before the game started, Milton from next door had asked for help with the milking. Hunter had left, looking glad to get out of the game. His big brother had been off ever since seeing Millie in the grocery store. Luke had an inkling how Hunter might be feeling. A shattered heart affected a man. It was as simple as that.

  “At least I’m going out as a victor.” Honor headed his way. “Too bad you can’t say the same.”

  “I always seem to be on the losing side.” He stopped to pet Betty, who
stood at the fence line, leaning against it, curiously watching the family’s festivities. “That’s why I invited you to Brooke’s wedding in the first place. You were supposed to be my ringer.”

  “Oops. Didn’t work that way, did it?”

  “No, but that wasn’t the only reason I invited you.”

  “I know.” She ducked her chin, as if self-conscious, a little gesture that got to him.

  How he was going to say goodbye, he didn’t know. He couldn’t stop picturing her here in his life, filling his kitchen with her laughter, his life with her humor and his heart with her sunshine. She wasn’t his future, but a future with her was all he could see. Birthdays, holidays, quiet evenings sitting side by side reading on the front porch together. Children, anniversaries, growing old together. All of it sounded like the most perfect of all blessings.

  There was no chance for any of it. Best just to let those dreams go.

  “You’re going to leave now, aren’t you?” He leaned against the wooden fence post, trying to act casual and strong.

  “You know I am. I booked a hotel in Bozeman. I’d like to get there before dark.”

  “I thought you were going to stay with the twins tonight?”

  “They offered, but as I’m getting up with the sun to get a good day’s drive in, I didn’t want to wake them at four in the morning.”

  “And on a Saturday morning. Guess I’d better walk you to your car.”

  “I’d like that. Let me say goodbye to everyone first.” She left him behind, taking off for the picnic table where Colbie was pouring lemonade for everyone.

  “Look who we have here. The California girl getting ready to leave.” Colbie handed her a plastic cup. “You can take this to go if you want.”

  “Not that we want you to go,” Bree chimed in.

  “We’d calf rope you and hobble you if it would make you stay,” Brandi joked. “You’ll promise to email?”

  “I pinky swear.” She hooked her little finger with Brandi’s to seal the deal. Her chest hurt so badly with repressed emotion she could barely get her words out. “I’ll be lonely if you all don’t stay in touch with me.”