The Me I Used to Be

by Jennifer Ryan

  “Nice guy.” She played it off like she really didn’t understand what happened.

  “Rich guy. He buys from us a lot.”

  “So, what? Lyssa finds the guys, talks to them about rare, expensive wines, then tells them she has a seller who can find them anything? At a great price?” she added.

  “Lyssa comes from that world. Wealth. Privilege. Everything you have is to show others you’re better than them. Because of some trouble, her parents cut her off.”

  “She hooks up with you and gets to stick it to people like her parents by ripping them off.”

  Darren laughed. “Something like that.”

  “Is she going to sleep with that guy, too?”

  “None of my business. Lyssa does what she wants.”

  “She warned me away from you.” Evangeline put enough jealousy in her words to match the pout on her lips.

  Darren puffed up a bit. “It’s not like that between us.”

  “Are you sure she knows that?”

  Darren’s placating smile only irritated her. But she let him think she didn’t like the competition. “We keep things casual. But it’s been a while since we hooked up.”

  She believed the first part of that, but not the second. She didn’t care either way.

  Darren leaned in. “We could get out of here and finish our business over breakfast.” With a soft tug on her arm, he drew her closer and whispered in her ear. “I’ll make it worth your while.” His lips barely brushed her cheek.

  The shiver that raced through her had everything to do with the nerves that fluttered in her belly as she tried to think of a way out of this without outright shooting him down.

  “Evangeline, I’m so happy to see you.”

  Evangeline leaned back and stared up at her best friend, Jill. She took the opportunity and extricated herself from Darren’s light hold, then stood and hugged Jill. “How are you?”

  She wanted to say, Thank you for saving me.

  Jill held her by the shoulders. “I’m fine.” She glanced down at Darren, her smile dimming. “Are you two . . .” Jill’s gaze bounced between Darren and her.

  “We were just having drinks with some friends of Darren’s.”

  Darren stared up at Jill. “What are you doing here?” He looked past Jill. “Where’s your husband?”

  “Home with Chloe. I was out picking up diapers and essentials at the grocery store, taking advantage of the gorgeous night and Sean watching Chloe to take a drive and have some peace and quiet. I spotted Evangeline’s truck out front.” Jill focused on Evangeline. “I came in to say hi and see if you’re available to come to dinner one night next week. Sean can’t wait to meet you.”

  “I’d love to. Can you stay for a drink?”

  Jill beamed, not even considering whether Evangeline and Darren wanted to be alone. Thank God. “I’d love to. It’s been so long since I went out without the baby.” Jill plopped herself down in the chair beside Evangeline’s and helped herself to the cheese and crackers.

  Darren sighed. “I’ve got to be at work early tomorrow to set up for a big brunch party. I’ll leave you two to catch up.” He stood and hugged Evangeline goodbye, whispering in her ear, “You still owe me that code.”

  She smiled up at him. “It’s ‘Sugarland.’”

  He pressed his forehead to hers and stared into her eyes. “Our first concert.”

  “My favorite band.” He’d taken her to the concert to make her happy. That was early in their relationship, when he’d wanted to please her. And get her into bed.

  “I heard they recently got back together. We should check out their tour schedule.”

  She placed her hand on his chest, stepped back, and gave him a shy smile. “I’m behind on the music scene. I’ll have to check out their new album.”

  “I’ll see you at the winery tomorrow.” Darren glanced past her. “Nice to see you again, Jill.” He took Evangeline’s hand from his chest and squeezed it, then left.

  Evangeline settled into her seat and met Jill’s amazed gaze.

  “I don’t know how you do it, but you somehow managed to make him think you’re totally into him and still not commit to a date.” Jill popped a piece of cheese into her mouth.

  Evangeline shook her head. “It’s all I can do to hold back the willies every time he touches me.”

  “Probably why Chris sent me to rescue you.”

  “He did?” It touched her that he cared, but . . . “Did he think I needed to be rescued?”

  Jill gave her a knowing smile. “He wanted you to have an exit strategy that didn’t involve you leaving here with Darren. Why didn’t you tell me you and Chris were together now?”

  “We’re not really.” The flutter in her heart said she wanted them to be. “He roped me into doing this thing with Darren.”

  “That bastard deserves everything coming to him.” Jill took a sip of Evangeline’s leftover wine. “Spill it. What’s up with you and Chris?”

  “We’ve spent some time together.” Not enough. Evangeline wanted to be sitting here tonight eating, drinking, getting to know him better. Not wasting a night cozying up to Darren and choking back all the scathing words she’d like to spew at him.

  Still, she didn’t really know what this thing with Chris amounted to, if anything. “Chris feels guilty about arresting me and the time I spent in jail.”

  “I think it’s a hell of a lot more than guilt he feels for you. You should have heard him on the phone. He practically begged me to come down here. He added a bunch of stuff about you being reckless and taking too many chances, but what he really wanted was to get you away from Darren.”

  Evangeline remained facing Jill even though she desperately wanted to glance over her shoulder and through the windows to see if Chris was out there watching her. He’d promised to stick close but not be seen. He swore nothing would happen to her. So he sent reinforcements without blowing her cover.

  The waitress came to their table and picked up the bill Darren had already paid. “Can I get you ladies anything?”

  Jill spread Brie over a whole-wheat cracker. “I’ll have a Chardonnay.”

  “Might as well expand my wine repertoire. I’ll have the same.” She’d barely touched the red wine Darren brought to the meeting.

  “So, you and Chris. Add him to my earlier dinner invitation.”

  “Um, I didn’t know you meant that, but okay. I think. It’ll have to be later. Chris and I can’t be seen together right now.”

  Jill pressed her lips together. “Chris told me all about Darren and the terrible things he’s done. He’s not invited to dinner.”

  Evangeline laughed. “Am I crazy?”

  “Chris knows where you’ve been, what happened to you, and what you want for your future. He’s smart and sexy and has a job and his own place. You deserve a good guy like him. I know you don’t need someone to take care of you, but he’s the kind of guy who would because he cares about the things that matter to him. I’m sitting here because you matter to him.”

  She knew all that in her head, but hearing her best friend endorse Chris evaporated her fears that maybe she hadn’t read things with Chris properly. She’d been tricked before, or simply not seen what was right in front of her until it was too late. She wanted to trust how she felt about Chris and the kind of man she believed him to be.

  Now she did.

  In her head and heart.

  Deflecting, she teased, “I meant, do you think I’m crazy for wanting to make Darren pay for what he did?”

  They broke out in giggles as the waitress served their drinks and left them.

  Evangeline turned serious again. “It’s been a long time since Darren. Chris makes me feel . . . like I want to just jump him.”

  That made Jill laugh even more. “Go for it. I don’t think he’d mind one bit.”

  “At the same time, I feel so much for him. So much more than I ever felt for Darren.” She sipped her wine and covertly scanned the room, hoping he’d come in.
“I think about him out there watching over me, the way he got me the job with the bowling alley—”

  “He did?”

  “Yes. Arresting me, my time in jail, it truly affected him deeply, and I don’t know what to do with all that makes me feel.”

  Jill took her hand. “When I met Sean, something hit me. I’d never felt anything like it. Same as you, the attraction was there, but something deeper connected us. If you feel that for Chris, then I know how amazing and scary that is, but I can also tell you that the best thing I ever did was to let it happen. If you open yourself to that kind of possibility, if you allow that connection to grow, you’ll find that the scary wears off and leaves you feeling . . . safe. Loved. You deserve that, Evangeline. How long has it been since you let someone get close to you? Your letters gave me a glimpse of how lonely you were, sitting in your cell, feeling lost and apart from everything and everyone. I see the loneliness still in your eyes and feel the way you hold yourself back.”

  “It’s not easy to just come home and pick up where I left off when everyone has moved on. You have a whole different life now. So does my entire family. You’re the same people I knew, but everything is different. I’m different. I was one thing, and now I’m not. What if I don’t know how to be what Chris wants?”

  “He doesn’t want you to be anything you’re not. He wants you.”

  “Darren turned out to be a heartless criminal. I thought Chris hated me. Obviously, I suck at picking guys and seeing who and what they really are.”

  “Darren and you, that was great in the beginning, but even you knew at the end that you wanted out. Things with you and Chris are just getting started. This is the part that is supposed to be fun.”

  “I’m not so good at fun anymore.” She had too much to do, too many responsibilities.

  With Darren, she’d simply let go and had done whatever she wanted, dismissing school to go and have fun. That had ended in disaster.

  She didn’t want to fall into that trap with Chris, but maybe she could find a better balance in her life. “The kiss we shared . . . I can’t stop thinking about it. All I want to do is find him so he’ll do it again.”

  Jill propped her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand and smiled like the Cheshire cat. “So go find him.”

  “I have a feeling he’s going to find me.”

  Jill’s smile grew even bigger. “And what does that tell you?”

  She felt like they were back in high school. “He likes me.”

  They fell into a fit of giggles again.

  Evangeline clinked her glass with Jill’s. “Thanks for coming to my rescue tonight.”

  “Always.”

  Because that’s what best friends do. They drop everything and haul ass to your side when you need them. Or when the guy who’s into you sends them because he can’t be seen with you in public.

  But the next time she had him alone, she was getting another kiss. Maybe more. Yeah, lots more.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Evangeline pulled into her driveway and cut the lights as she rolled to a stop in front of the house. She’d stayed at the bar to finish her drink with Jill. She needed some girl time, talking about old times. And while she’d done that, she’d watched the blip on her phone slowly make its way to her house.

  She got out of the truck and headed for the steps and the man sitting in the rocking chair on her porch. Black jeans showed off his thick corded thighs, while a dark gray tee stretched across his wide chest. Without a smile, he looked dark and dangerous, but she didn’t fear him one bit. In fact, he drew her to him like a beacon, the pull a physical tug reeling her in.

  She held up her phone and whispered in the quiet night, “I left the bar thinking I’d go find you, but my phone led me home.”

  “Sounds right to me. Here I am.” His words hit her right in the heart.

  She’d come home to him.

  It sounded more right to her than not, and that drew her up the steps to him. She stood in front of him, leaned back against the porch rail, and stared down at him. “Thanks for sending Jill to get me out of there. I’ve missed her. We had a drink and talked and it felt so normal and fun.”

  She didn’t have to watch what she said or try to convince anyone she wasn’t what they thought. For a little while, she got to be herself.

  “I wish you had more days like that than the rough ones you’ve had lately.”

  “Hanging out with Darren and Lyssa is a master class in manipulation and deceit. Nothing about them is genuine.”

  “You took a hell of a risk getting those pictures.”

  “Every little bit of proof I gather is another nail in Darren’s coffin.” She held up her phone. “I gave him the code to the inventory system. He didn’t waste any time using it. They just stole forty cases of wine.” She turned her phone and showed him the pictures popping up every ten seconds.

  “Who’s taking the photos?”

  “I set up a motion-activated camera outside the warehouse. No one knows about it except Mr. Cross.” She stared at the pictures of Darren and Tom loading cases into the back of a truck. “You could send someone over there to arrest them, but that wouldn’t tell us where they’re storing it or how they’re counterfeiting the wine. He’ll take me there. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Chris rose from the rocking chair and stood in front of her, not more than a foot separating them. “Every risk you take knots my stomach and makes me crazy worried about you. I watched the two of you from outside the restaurant. Every time he touched you, I wanted to kill him. I saw you smile and laugh, and even though I know it’s all for show, it took me back to when you were with him and I wanted you with me.”

  It took every ounce of courage she possessed to be bold. “I’m with you right now.” She closed the gap between them by half and put her hand on his chest. She stared up into his hungry green eyes and dipped her gaze to his mouth. “All I want is for you to kiss me again.”

  He cupped her face, his fingers warm against her skin. “Is that all you want?”

  “It’s a good place to start.” She went up on tiptoe as he pulled her in and pressed his lips to hers in a caress that was warm and soft and undemanding.

  He took his time kissing her again and again in soft sweeps and different angles. She sighed with pleasure so pure, it spread to every part of her. He sank into her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, the other around her waist, his big hand on her ass as he pulled her snug against his hard body. His tongue swept against hers with the surprising taste of spearmint.

  They lost themselves in each other and the intimate moment.

  She let herself go and feel.

  Safe. Excited. Alive. Free.

  Her hands swept up his strong back to his wide shoulders. His mouth left hers and traveled to the scar on her cheek, where he placed a soft kiss, then down along the scar on her neck in a trail of blazing heat as his mouth moved over her.

  “You’re killing me in this dress.” His hands roamed over her back and settled on her hips. He set her away a few inches and stared down at her. He put his wrists on her shoulders and combed his fingers through her hair. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

  “I needed something new. Do you like it?”

  “Yeah, I like it. It’s not just the hair and that killer dress, though. I like you.” He dove in for another deep kiss that had her head spinning and her body pressing to his again. Somehow, they ended up turned around with him backed against the porch rail, her between his strong thighs, and his hands holding her face as he slowed the kiss and held it for a moment that felt like he said a whole lot to her without a single word spoken. She got it without really knowing the exact words. And she felt even closer to him, that connection they shared stronger.

  He kissed her forehead and held her close with his cheek pressed to her hair and her head on his chest, his heart thundering in her ear as they both caught their breath.

  “I want to take you out to dinner, or to a movie, something.
Anything. I hate having to sneak around to see you.”

  She snuggled into him. “We’re getting closer.”

  He held her tight. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “It won’t. He doesn’t suspect a thing.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “As sure as I can be. He took me to the meeting tonight.” She leaned back and stared up at him. “They’ve got a simple system. Lyssa ropes in the buyer. They meet. Darren gives the buyer what looks like a present, but it’s really the counterfeit wine delivered for the purchase. He and Lyssa butter up and kiss the buyer’s ass so he’s primed to come back to them for more. The buyer leaves with Lyssa. He pays her.”

  “Darren delivers, but he doesn’t accept payment. He can deny that he sold the wine to the buyer, but Lyssa can’t. It’s her word against his.”

  “He insulates himself from that, but he’s the one who steals the wine and counterfeits it.”

  “How and where is what we need to know.”

  “I looked up the name of the wine that he dropped off tonight. A 1947 Château Cheval Blanc goes for anywhere from ten to twenty thousand a bottle. Four bottles, we’re talking forty to eighty grand. Let’s say they got sixty grand and used a twenty- or a hundred-dollar bottle of wine to make it. That’s a hell of a profit.”

  “How did he get his hands on the original bottle to counterfeit it?”

  “He stole it. That’s the only thing that makes sense. If he’s got the palate and know-how to tweak the taste—which he probably learned working at the winery by cozying up to the vintner and viticulturist—once he worked out the formula to get the right taste, he could make as many bottles as needed. Pick wines that are pricey, but still accessible, and no one really looks too closely. They get a deal on the wine and that’s all they care about.” She thought about it some more. “He could even take a bottle that usually sells for ten dollars and repackage it for one that sells for forty or fifty. By the case, that’s a good profit, too.”

  “Yeah, well, let’s hope he spills the details to you soon, because I don’t know how much more I can take watching you with him, knowing that if he finds out what you’re doing he could turn on you.” Fear tinged those earnest words.