A Dream of Home: Hearts of the Lancaster Grand Hotel: Book Three

by Amy Clipston

  She found Saul in the shop, rearranging piles of wood.

  “Saul.”

  He turned toward her, and his eyebrows rose toward his hairline.

  “Can we talk before I go home?” She shivered and hugged her coat closer to her body.

  “Ya.” He leaned on the workbench.

  She took a deep breath and prayed for the right words. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  “When you came to see me this afternoon, I know I crossed a line.” She hoped his expression would relax. “I was rude, and I didn’t mean to be. I would never try to deliberately hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.”

  His expression remained stoic, but she thought she saw a change in his eyes. She needed to continue trying to bring back the warm man she’d glimpsed.

  “You know I was hurt too,” she said. “I explained it all to you earlier. I never imagined I’d wind up here in Pennsylvania and all alone. I believed I’d be married and have children of my own by now. After losing Travis, I lost my love of nursing. I lost everything.” She put one hand on her chest. “Travis left a hole in my heart.”

  Saul looked toward the workbench, and she knew she’d hit a nerve. She did a mental head shake. Why had she managed to say the wrong thing again?

  “I should go.” She jammed her thumb toward the door. “Good night, Saul.”

  Saul saw the regret in Madeleine’s eyes, and he couldn’t let her go. She’d bared her soul to him earlier, and then he’d shut her out. She was trying to reach out to him, and he had to tell her the truth. After all, though few talked about divorce, the rumors about Annie when she first left had spread throughout the community like wildfire. Eventually Madeleine could run into someone who would tell her the truth about Annie.

  Madeleine reached for the doorknob.

  “Wait,” Saul said, and her hand fell to her side. “Please don’t go.”

  She faced him, fresh tears shimmering in her eyes.

  “Thank you for sharing your story with me. Now I need to tell you the truth about Annie.” He heaved a deep breath as he took a step toward her. “Annie left me and Emma.”

  Madeleine wiped her eyes and studied him.

  He paused and stared down at the toes of his work boots. “This isn’t easy for me to talk about.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft. “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “No, I do.” He looked up at her. “You deserve the truth.”

  She nodded.

  “Annie loved someone else, and I knew I was her second choice.” He crossed his arms over his chest as if to protect his heart. “She loved my friend Timothy, but he left and went to a former Amish community in Missouri. She was heartbroken, and I tried to console her. When I asked her to marry me, I knew she only said yes because I was her last option. I had saved up money to buy this land and build this shop after also selling my parents’ land.” He gestured around the room. “I knew she was marrying me out of desperation, but I never imagined she’d leave me.”

  Saying the words out loud twisted his insides, but he plowed through, moving his gaze back to his boots to avoid her sympathetic expression. “I don’t think she expected this, but Timothy came back for her once he was settled and had a home ready for her. It was obvious she still didn’t love me the way I’d hoped she someday would, but I prayed she’d make it work between us for Emma’s sake.” He shook his head. “But she left and never looked back. And then one day I received divorce papers in the mail. I was shattered by that. Our community doesn’t believe in divorce. But I signed them because I didn’t really have a choice.”

  A tear trickled down Madeleine’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

  Saul took in her kind expression and then cleared his throat to avoid showing his own raging emotions. “I told Emma her mother passed away. It was easier to say that than to tell her that her own mamm left her for a man. She once asked me how she died, and I said it was pneumonia. I told her Annie had gone into the hospital and never come home, and that satisfied her questions. She never asked me where her mother is buried, never asked if there was a funeral she just didn’t remember because she was so young. So it’s been possible to keep up the lie. I know lying is a sin, but I would do anything to protect her from the painful truth.”

  “I understand,” Madeleine whispered.

  “And that lie is the truth now.” Saul leaned back on the workbench. “Timothy wrote me a little over a year ago and told me Annie died in an accident. He and Annie were spending the day on a friend’s boat, and there was a collision with another boat.” He shook his head. “She really is gone, and I need to tell Emma the truth someday. I’m waiting for the right time to tell her.”

  “That makes sense.” She fingered the zipper on her coat. “I meant what I said this afternoon when I said you are doing a great job with Emma. She’s a lovely young lady.”

  “Danki.” Saul fingered his beard. “Now that Annie is gone, I want to find Emma a proper mother.”

  “I’m certain you will.” Madeleine was silent for a moment, and he felt overwhelmed by the soft expression in her eyes. “You’re a good man, Saul, and you deserve to be happy. Annie was blind if she couldn’t see that, but don’t sell yourself short. You deserve a good woman, one who will appreciate you. You’re a wonderful father, a hard worker, and you’re thoughtful and kind. You’re a good friend.”

  Saul was speechless. He’d never expected such enormous compliments to come from her lips.

  “Thank you for sharing that with me,” Madeleine said. “I should go.”

  He nodded, still not certain what to say.

  She started for the door and then faced him again. “Thanksgiving is next week, and I was wondering if you and Emma have plans. I know sometimes there are weddings on Thanksgiving.”

  “We usually eat at my friend Marcus’s haus.”

  “Oh.” She frowned. “I understand. I was thinking about going home to California to see my mom and stepdad, but I’d rather save the money for the cabinets.”

  “You should come.” He extended the invitation before thinking it through.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Come to Marcus’s with us.” He stood up straight. “You’ll be my guest.”

  “Oh.” She looked surprised. “Are you certain that would be okay?”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know if Marcus would want an Englisher at his table on Thanksgiving.” She gave him a nervous smile.

  “It will be fine. I’ll let him know.”

  “What can I bring?” she asked.

  “I usually provide dessert. Maybe you can make a pie.”

  “Great.” Madeleine’s expression brightened. “I’ll make a pumpkin pie. Two of them.” She rubbed her hands together. “I have my mammi’s recipe.” She started for the door again. “Good night, Saul.”

  “Gut nacht.” She disappeared from the shop, and Saul hoped he hadn’t made a mistake by baring his soul to his new friend.

  SIXTEEN

  Emma gnawed her lower lip. She had stayed just inside the schoolhouse door as the rest of the students started leaving at the end of the day, and now she was watching Teacher Lillian wave good-bye to them as they filed past. She’d been considering what she’d say to her teacher ever since she’d spoken to Madeleine last week. Today felt like the right time to talk to her.

  Teacher Lillian waved to the last student and then turned toward Emma. “Emma? What are you still doing here?” She pushed her glasses farther up her nose and studied her. “Is everything okay?”

  Emma fingered the handle on her lunchbox. “Jacob has been bullying me.”

  “Ach no. Let’s sit and talk.” Lillian made a sweeping gesture toward the desks.

  Emma took a seat at her desk and faced her teacher, who pulled a chair up next to her. “He makes fun of me when I miss the ball during softball and he calls me names.”

  Teacher Lillian shook her
head and frowned. “I’m sorry I haven’t noticed he was doing that to you.”

  “I talked to my friend Maddie, and she gave me some gut advice.” Emma sat up taller as confidence surged through her. “She told me she had bully problems when she was my age, and she ignored the bully. She said Jacob is just trying to get a reaction out of me, and I’ll take away his power if I ignore him.”

  “That sounds like a gut plan.”

  “Mei dat said I should still talk to you about Jacob.”

  Lillian nodded. “I will talk to Jacob and his parents.”

  “I don’t want him to know he upset me, though.” Emma held her hands up as if to stop her teacher. “He can’t know I gave him that power. I need him to think it doesn’t bother me. Maddie said that’s the only way to defeat a bully.”

  “I’ll keep a better watch on the playground and do my best to catch him in the act. After I see what he’s doing, I’ll talk to him, and I’ll also talk to his parents. Would that work?”

  “Ya.” Emma nodded with enthusiasm. “That would be perfect. Danki, Teacher Lillian.” She stood and started for the door.

  “Wait, Emma,” Lillian called after her. “Who is your friend Maddie?”

  “She’s my neighbor.” Emma smiled. “She’s English. Her mammi owned the property where mei dat and I live before he bought it. Maddie moved into her mammi’s haus, and we’ve become best freinden. We cook together, and mei dat is replacing her cabinets. We have a lot of fun together.”

  “Oh.” Lillian grimaced. “You know it’s best not to get too close to Englishers. They aren’t like us. They live a different way, and they sometimes offer a temptation to leave our community.”

  “She wouldn’t do that.” Emma felt the need to defend her special friend. “She’s very nice, and she’s my freind.”

  Teacher Lillian paused. “It would be better if you didn’t spend too much time with her. Just promise me you’ll be careful. You don’t want to get too attached to her and then wind up hurt.”

  “I don’t understand. What do you mean by ‘hurt’?” Emma contemplated her teacher’s caution.

  “Mei mamm became English, and I don’t see her anymore. It’s been very hard on me,” her teacher said. “I know this must be difficult for you to understand, but I miss mei mamm very much. She’s not Amish anymore, and it’s made me bedauerlich. I don’t want you to be bedauerlich if Maddie decides to move away.”

  “Oh.” Emma smiled. “Maddie said mei dat has said that same thing, but I don’t think she’ll move away. Most people stay in their haus after they fix it up, right? Mei dat says that a lot of times people put new cabinets in so they enjoy their haus even more. It’s a lot of money to put in new cabinets.”

  “Right.” Teacher Lillian nodded. “You’d better go. I don’t want your dat to worry about you. Be careful walking home.”

  “I will. Have a nice Thanksgiving!” Emma waved and then rushed out of the school. As she walked home, she thought about her conversation with Teacher Lillian. Maddie wouldn’t leave like Teacher Lillian said. Her teacher had to be wrong. After all, Maddie was her best grown-up friend. She pushed her worries aside as she walked home. Everything was going to be fine. Jacob was going to leave her alone, and Maddie was going to stay.

  Madeleine placed the two pumpkin pies she’d baked into the bottom of a large basket she’d found in the pantry. She hoped the pies tasted as delicious as they smelled and looked. She’d worried all morning about giving Saul’s friends a good impression of her, and she’d changed her clothes four times before settling on a matching chocolate-brown blouse and skirt with tights. She’d styled her hair in a French twist and didn’t apply any makeup.

  A knock sounded, and Madeleine pulled on her coat and carried the basket to the mudroom where she could see Saul and Emma through the window on the door.

  “Are you ready?” Saul asked as soon as she swung open the storm door.

  “Yes, I am.” She held up the basket. “I’m hoping these pies will taste as good as my mammi’s.”

  “I’m sure they will.” Saul took the basket from her. “I’ll carry this for you.”

  “Let’s go.” Emma started toward the pickup truck. “I can’t wait to see Esther.”

  Madeleine climbed into the driver’s seat, and Emma sat in the middle with her father beside her. Emma spent the short ride to the Smucker farm discussing recipes. Madeleine nodded and agreed with whatever Emma said, but her mind was occupied with thoughts of Saul. She hoped he approved of her outfit, and she prayed she wouldn’t say anything that embarrassed him or made him regret inviting her to join them for Thanksgiving dinner.

  When they arrived at the farm, Madeleine parked halfway up the rock driveway and killed the engine. She climbed out of the truck and met Saul at the front bumper while Emma ran ahead toward the house. Madeleine studied the farmhouse, and doubt assaulted her mind. Why was she here at this Amish family’s house? She didn’t have a right to intrude on their holiday. She belonged with her non-Amish family in California.

  “Are you all right?” Saul asked.

  “Yes.” She forced a smile.

  He studied her. “I haven’t known you long, but I can tell when you’re not being truthful.”

  “Am I that obvious?” she asked.

  He nodded. “You are to me.”

  “I’m nervous about meeting your friends.” She smoothed her hands over her coat. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”

  “You won’t embarrass me, and they’re looking forward to meeting you.” He started for the house. “Let’s go inside before we freeze out here.”

  Madeleine followed Saul into the two-story, white clapboard house, and she immediately inhaled the delicious aroma of turkey. They made their way through the spacious family room to the kitchen, where Emma and a little blonde girl were setting the table. She remembered her being with Emma at Carolyn’s wedding.

  “Hello!” A pretty blonde woman who looked to be in her early thirties smiled at them. “You must be Madeleine. I’m Sylvia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Madeleine unbuttoned her coat. “Thank you for having me for supper.”

  “You’re welcome.” Sylvia touched Esther’s arm. “This is Esther.” The girl waved.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Madeleine told the girl. “I saw you with Emma at Carolyn Glick’s wedding, and I’ve heard a lot about you from Emma.”

  “Danki,” Esther said.

  Sylvia looked at Saul. “Marcus is in the shop if you want to go see him. I’ll send the girls out to get you when supper is ready.”

  “All right.” Saul handed Sylvia the basket. “Maddie made pies.”

  “Oh!” Sylvia took the basket from him. “That’s perfect. Danki.” She placed the basket on the counter.

  Saul held out his hand. “Would you like me to hang up your coat?”

  “That would be nice.” Madeleine handed her coat to him.

  He headed toward the back door, stopping to hang up her coat near the mudroom on his way out.

  Madeleine glanced around the kitchen and into the family room and enclosed porch. “You have a lovely home.”

  “Danki.” Sylvia pointed toward a pot on the stove. “Would you please stir the noodles?”

  “Oh yes.” Madeleine moved to the stove, happy to have a job to keep her mind off how self-conscious she felt.

  “Saul told us you work at the Lancaster Grand Hotel.” Sylvia pulled a loaf of bread from the bread box on the counter and began to slice it.

  “Yes, I work there part-time.” Madeleine stirred while she spoke. “Martha Stoltzfus was my mammi.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss. I remember Martha. She was a lovely lady.” Sylvia glanced toward the girls, who were placing utensils by the plates. “Esther, would you please get out the butter and then fill six glasses with water?”

  “Ya, Mamm,” Esther agreed.

  “How long have you known Saul?” Madeleine asked.

  “Marcus and I went to school
with Saul and—” Sylvia stopped speaking as if to correct herself. “We went to school with Saul and his bruder.”

  “Oh.” Was Sylvia going to say Annie instead of his brother?

  Sylvia finished cutting up the bread and placed it in a basket before moving toward the oven. “Excuse me. I’m going to check the turkey.”

  “Of course.” Madeleine stepped away from the stove and turned toward Esther and Emma, who were discussing friends at school. When Sylvia opened the oven door, the warm smell of the succulent turkey permeated the room.

  “I think it’s almost ready.” Sylvia closed the door and spoke to the girls. “When you finish the table, please go collect your fathers.”

  Soon the girls pulled on their cloaks and rushed out the door.

  “Esther is adorable,” Madeleine said. “Emma talks about her all the time.”

  “Danki.” Sylvia nodded toward a cabinet. “Would you please grab some serving bowls from there and put the noodles, vegetables, and mashed potatoes in them?”

  “I’d be happy to.” Madeleine gathered the bowls and began filling them, and Sylvia pulled the turkey from the oven. “Everything smells delicious.”

  “Danki.” Sylvia placed the turkey onto a platter. “I’ll let Marcus carve it.” She faced Madeleine. “I want to talk to you quickly before the girls return.”

  “Oh.” Sylvia’s serious expression caused Madeleine’s stomach to tighten. “What did you want to discuss?”

  Sylvia wiped her hands on a dish towel. “I know you care for Emma and Saul. I can tell by the way you look at them.”

  Madeleine nodded. “I do.”

  “I have a feeling Saul cares for you.” Sylvia’s expression was full of worry. “He may seem like a strong man, but he’s been hurt.”

  “I know about Annie,” Madeleine said. “He told me what happened, and I realize he’s hurting. I only want to be his friend.”

  “I knew Annie. What she did to Saul practically destroyed him emotionally. He’s held it together all these years just for Emma’s sake.” Sylvia crossed her arms over her apron. “What Annie did hurt us all. She was my best friend, and I never imagined she’d leave her family for another man. I tried to stop her, but she was stubborn. Anyway, Marcus and I have done our best to help Saul. I’ve tried to be like a mamm to Emma. My point is that I don’t want to see either one of them hurt.”