Ringing in the New Year

by Riley, Alexa

  Everything in our home is gone and the place is empty. I’m so confused by what I’m looking at, my brain can’t process it.

  “Dad?” I turn to look at him, wondering what the hell is going on.

  “I’ve found the way,” he tells me as he raises his chin. He actually looks proud of himself.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Sometimes in life you must sacrifice to prove yourself. Today I prove myself,” he says before he takes a slow step towards me. I back up as he comes closer until I’m against the wall. “You’re the sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

  “Dad?” is all I can manage to choke out as his dead eyes look down at me.

  I open my mouth to scream, but the whole world goes black.

  Chapter 6

  Reed

  Five years later…

  It’s a cloudy day and the park is mostly empty. I’m going to grab a coffee on the way so I can sit down in the silence and be alone for a little while. My parents think the amount of time I spend in the quiet isn’t healthy, but I like it. When no one else is around there’s nothing to remind me of her. There are no sounds or smells that make me wish for the millionth time that I hadn’t listened to her that night. That I didn’t let her go.

  I graduated from college at the top of my class with a double masters in under four years. My university gave me every accolade under the sun for my research and development, but it was the only thing I had to keep me going after I lost her.

  I can’t even think of her name without a hole growing in my chest and threatening to swallow me, so I avoid it. One time at the grocery store I noticed an employee’s name tag with her name on it and I never went back there again. I just dropped my basket on the floor and walked out. It was too painful to know that she could be right there under my nose and I’d never find her.

  Everything in my life changed the day I woke up and she wasn’t there. I became obsessed and after I’d exhausted every legal resource I could, I went to the illegal ones. It was as if she fell off the face of the earth, and that’s when I knew that finding her was up to me.

  When I graduated I went to the top digital engineering college in the country. From there I developed a software that was unlike anything on the market. It was so good that the military wanted to take it from me, but instead I agreed to let them use it in exchange for a favor. I have her name running on the program constantly so if there’s ever someone that matches her information I’m the first to know. They didn’t ask questions, they just wanted to make sure I wasn’t selling it to another country.

  The money I made off the program is enough that I never have to work again, so at least there’s that. Now I develop smaller, less dangerous software for everyday use. I wouldn’t call it a passion of mine, but it’s something to keep me busy. It’s something I can do alone and I’m good at it, but it won’t ever replace the empty space she left.

  When I get to the little stand that sells coffee I give the young woman my order and pay. She smiles at me, but I don’t say anything as I wait.

  “How are you doing this morning?” she says cheerfully, and I just nod. “It’s a gloomy day, thanks for coming over and keeping me company.” This time she laughs at her own joke and I look away uninterested.

  When my coffee is ready I take a step forward and reach out to take my cup. Just as I hold onto it, her fingers graze mine and I jerk back, spilling some of the coffee on my hand. It scalds me, but I ignore it.

  “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. Let me get you another.”

  “I’m married,” is all I say in response as I grab a napkin and take my half a cup of coffee with me.

  I’m not good with people anymore. I used to be laid back and fun, but she took that with her. Everything in me that was good and happy shut down and now I’m in a state of hypothermia until I find her and she can thaw me out.

  A few weeks after she left, my parents took me to a therapist. She called it post-traumatic stress disorder and talked to them about how to handle it. They did what they could to find her and anyone else that might know where they went, but nothing turned up.

  The morning after her dad caught us is still crystal clear to me and that’s what I hate the most. I’ve tried to hold on to every silly memory she and I made, but it’s been a long time and some things are fading. But the memory of waking up and walking across the field to her house is fresh. I can even remember the way the light shone through her window to reveal a bed that had never been slept in. By the time panic set in and I broke into the house it was too late. There wasn’t a single trace of evidence and I spent hours combing through that house for something. Anything.

  I walk all through the park until I get to the far side of the pond. There are a pair of swans there I like to watch and a bench that’s under a tree. If she were with me I’d let her put her head in my lap while I read to her. She used to love it when I’d do that. The memory is so painful that it makes me double over and I grab my stomach. It’s been five long years and still every day is like the day she left.

  I breathe deep and try to focus on what’s in front of me. My therapist said that naming things nearby will help ground me and keep me from going into a panic. Sometimes it works, and other times it’s almost impossible to keep going. One of the only things that helps is knowing that one day I will find her again. I just have to wait until that moment.

  The swans swim close and I open my bag and pull out some bread for them. I toss it into the water and they gobble it up quickly and then swim away side by side. I remember us reading about swans mating for life and she said it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. She said if reincarnation was real that’s what she wanted to come back as. I told her I did, too, but that’s only so I could be with her forever all over again.

  Who finds the love of their life in second grade?

  There are emails about work and missed messages from my parents I should answer. There are even some texts from Sam who is still good about checking in on me, but today I ignore them. That’s because today is our anniversary. On this day sixteen years ago, I met her for the first time. This day is probably the hardest other than her birthday and each year it gets harder. I know that’s why everyone is calling and texting to make sure I’m okay. I’m not, and I don’t feel like pretending I am either. At least not at the moment. Today I just want to sit here and think of her and how much I miss her.

  It’s late in the day and my coffee has gone cold when my phone begins to vibrate. I ignore it, but then it vibrates again right after and I look at the screen. It’s a blocked number and I swipe my thumb across the screen to answer.

  “This is Reed Sanders.”

  “It’s Agent Davis, we’ve found her, sir.”

  There’s a ringing in my ears and I’m dizzy when I stand up too fast, but I try to focus as my feet begin to move on their own.

  “Say that again.”

  “Cami Evans, the woman you’ve been searching for. We’ve found a woman fitting her description with the same name and date of birth you’re looking for. We’ve done the scans and the program has matched her one hundred percent. She checked into a women’s shelter just outside Phoenix, Arizona.”

  “What?” I have a million questions ready to jump out of my mouth, but my lungs are burning because I’m running through the park as hard as I can and I can’t ask them.

  “I’m emailing you all the details, but we’ve used your program and we’ve done the digital scans and it’s a match. When can you be ready to board a plane?”

  “I’m on my way,” I say as I jump in my car and speed away from the curb.

  Chapter 7

  Cami

  I lick my dry lips as the two officers stare at me. After giving them my name they didn’t find anything on me and now they’ve asked if there’s someone they can call. The nice woman, Sherri, hands me a glass of water and I take a big gulp before handing it back to her. I try to clear my dry throat and I wonder how many miles I ran until I found
that little store. They called the women’s shelter to come and get me and basically saved my life.

  Everyone’s been nice since they brought me here and it’s put me at ease. Apparently I wasn’t the first girl who ran away, but I have a feeling from how the cops are acting that the other girls wouldn’t talk to them.

  When I said who they should call they all looked a little shocked. They acted as though they knew who he was and maybe while I’ve been gone Reed made it big. He was good at football, but I only made it one season cheerleading before I decided I’d rather be in the stands cheering with Kathy and Mike. I always wondered what he might be doing with his life since I’ve been away and maybe that’s it.

  I wanted him to be happy, but the selfish part of me hated the idea of him moving on without me. We were supposed to have a life together and it was going to be the two of us forever. What if he’s married or has kids now? The thought overwhelms me and I begin to sob.

  “You’re safe,” Sherrie tells me again for the millionth time.

  She thinks I’m crying over my escape or that I fear going back. I’ll never want to go back, but today I’ll find out how much that place has taken from me.

  I look down at the scrap of a wedding dress I’m wearing. I would never marry another man besides Reed because he’s the only love I’ll ever have. I don’t care if I can have him or not, I’ll never want anyone else.

  The day my dad died was bittersweet. I became fair game to any man in that crazy cult he had us living in. I was being forced to marry to the leader Eugene Mass, and that’s when I had to run. Death would’ve been better than belonging to him and I still can’t believe I made it out of there alive.

  “Reed Sanders,” the officer says again, making sure I said the name right. I nod and the phone rings. “Ah yeah, she’s right in front of me.” He’s silent for a moment as his eyes come back to me. “No, sir, we won’t let her out of our sight.” My eyes widen for a moment at his words. Am I in trouble? He hangs up the phone and looks at me with curiosity. “Seems he’s already on his way here.”

  “Thank you.” I had no doubt Reed would come. Of course he would, I just wonder if he’s still mine. “Did you want to go ahead and question me?”

  I fidget with my fingers in my lap. They wanted to know everything about Lando Movement. The two officers who came to the shelter to talk to me kept calling it a cult. They’re not wrong.

  “We’ve been advised not to ask you anything until Mr. Sanders gets here.”

  “Reed’s dad is coming, too?” I missed him and Kathy so much; they were my family.

  My eyes start to water as the loneliness threatens to swallow me whole. Since the day my dad took me away from them it’s all I’ve felt.

  “I meant Reed Sanders, ma’am,” he corrects.

  “Oh.” I look to Sherrie, who is watching me. “Why?” I finally ask when no one says anything else. I want to answer their questions so I can be done with it. I don’t want that place taking any more time from me then it already has.

  “It’s what our captain told us.” He shrugs one shoulder. “And if you’re connected to Reed Sanders, then…” He makes a motion with his hand as if I should understand. The look on my face must show him that I don’t. “He’s done work with the government. He’s a very high-level consultant, and I like my job.”

  My eyebrows pull together in confusion. Reed is working for the government? He was built like a jock, but he was more into technology than anything when we were growing up, so I guess it’s not surprising.

  I go to ask another question because I’m unable to help myself, but as I do the door to the room flies open. I jerk my head to see who it is and all the air leaves my lungs when I see Reed standing there.

  His eyes find mine and for a moment, time stands still. He looks the same but different, and it’s hard for me to figure out what it is. His boyish soft face has chiseled out and now he’s a man.

  “Dimples?” The word comes out in a question, and I wonder if he’s thinking about how different I am. How many times had I dreamed of seeing him again?

  He takes a step into the room and before I know what’s happening I’m in his arms. I don’t know who moved first, him or me, but I wrap myself around him tightly. I bury my face in his neck and breathe in his familiar scent. It’s the same as before and reminds me of a home I’d thought I’d never have again.

  “Please look at me.” Reed’s voice is filled with pain as I lean back. It’s then I realize he’s sat down in the chair and I’m in his lap with his big hands cupping my cheeks. “God, I’ve missed you.”

  I open my mouth to tell him the same, but his lips crash down on mine. He doesn't demand entry, only presses his mouth against me, holding me there for a moment. I close my eyes and soak it in. For the first time in a long time I feel safe and I know nothing can happen to me.

  “Maybe we should go,” I hear Sherrie say, reminding me where we are.

  “We should go,” Reed says, and his warm breath is against my lips.

  “We need her statement, sir. I’m sure she wants to press charges.” There is hope in the officer’s words that I will.

  Reed’s eyes narrow and I actually see his pupils dilate. Tension fills his strong body, and though he didn't go pro with football, he’s still must work out a lot to be so big.

  “Did they hurt you?” His eyes roam over my face and he leans back to get a better look at me. “You’re smaller.”

  “I think you’re bigger.” I try to tease him, but he doesn't smile.

  “No one hurt me. They just wouldn't let me leave,” I admit, trying to put him at ease. He must already know some details of what happened and where I’ve been.

  I’d taken a few hits here and there, but I learned quickly to follow the rules and to try and blend in. I said what they wanted to hear, but the whole time I was trying to find a way to get out. My dad kept a close eye on me no matter what I said to him. I even tried to pretend that I was a believer in our leader, but I don't think he ever bought it. When I was chosen for marriage there was no faking it anymore. I had to get out or die trying.

  “Do you want to give a statement?” he asks.

  “I didn't think I had a choice.” What I want is to lay my head on Reed’s chest and sleep.

  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I’ll pick you up and walk you right out of here and we’ll be home in no time.”

  “Home.” The word makes me want to cry. I glance at the police officers and can tell they want to protest.

  Reed’s hand comes to my chin and he makes me look at him. “Home,” he confirms.

  I know he means what he says. Something about Reed is different than I remember. His dominance fills the room and whatever he says goes.

  “I want to go home, but I have to do this. If it helps take them down, then I need to do this,” I tell him.

  “Alright,” he agrees and he stands us up. Panic rises in my chest and he takes my hand. “I’m not going anywhere, Dimples. Breathe.”

  He sits back down and takes me with him and I relax again. It feels like when we’d take a walk and I’d lie in his arms in the afternoon and he’d hold me while the sun would set.

  “Let’s get started,” Reed tells them, and they begin.

  He holds me while I tell them about the last five years of my life. I start with the day my dad took me and then what it was like living there. I tell them about when my dad died, and even about my escape because of the impending marriage to the leader. They ask the most questions about him and any details I can give.

  I can feel Reed’s moods shift with every story I tell, ranging from anger to sadness and—I’m pretty sure—jealousy when he hears about the marriage stuff. Also the fact that I’m still in a wedding dress while I sit here doesn’t make it any better.

  I talk for what feels like hours and sometimes I have to repeat myself. I know they’re trying to get as much as they can, but it’s exhausting. I lay my head on Reed and think about clos
ing my eyes for a moment.

  I jerk when I feel movement and realize I must have nodded off for a second.

  “We’re done. You’ve got all you’re getting today. You can come see her tomorrow or send me the questions. It’s time for her to go home,” Reed tells the officers as he stands with me in his arms. I don’t protest, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carries me out of the room and down the long hallway.

  When we step outside I see three black SUVs lined up. The one in the middle has two men wearing black suits standing outside of it and they look like FBI. One of them opens the back door and Reed slides in, keeping a tight hold on me as the door closes behind us.

  “Who are they?” I ask him. My eyes feel heavy with exhaustion.

  “Security,” he says simply. As if it’s normal to have three SUVs worth of security.

  “You have security now?”

  “They’re here for you.” I feel the SUV move and I wonder how far we are from wherever we are going. I don’t know where Reed lives now, but it doesn't matter. I’m where I want to be.

  He kisses the top of my head and I let out a small sigh as I soak in his affection.

  “We’ll be there in ten minutes, sir. Traffic is clear.” Reed nods and I laugh, unable to help myself.

  “Care to tell me what's so funny?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “I was just thinking I don’t know what you do now, but whatever it is, you must have money.”

  “We do, but why would that be funny?”

  “Because I think if you were rich when we were kids you would have hired a bodyguard for me then, too.” I laugh a little more, thinking back to high school and what it would have been like.

  “The school wouldn't let me.” I laugh harder and I feel him give a laugh, too. I let my eyes fall closed once again and pray that when I open them this won’t have been a dream.