by Jillian Hart
It’s gratitude, he told himself as he set her on her slippered feet, not love. He was deeply grateful for a woman he respected and who was so kind. She was exactly the kind of lady he’d hoped to find some day.
The Lord sure worked in awesome ways, he thought, as he nudged the door shut with his foot. Awesome because He’d brought the exact right wife into his life when he was at a loss as to what to do with Sally. The timing was God’s he knew. Sally wasn’t the only reason Rachel was wearing his wedding ring. No, he’d been at a loss for a long time, he could see that now that she was standing in his living room.
This house he lived in was suddenly a home. The life he’d filled only with the challenge of work now had a deeper purpose: to take care of Rachel with all of his might. He never wanted to fail this woman entrusted to him.
“How about a walk on the beach?” he suggested, smoothing back the thick bounce of curls that had tumbled against her face.
She pressed against his hand, her eyes drifting shut, as if valuing his touch.
“I would love to. But I’ve got to change. I’m not sure how easy it would be to walk in the surf like this.” She gave her skirt a twirl and the full hem flared out to reveal her white ballet slippers. “Where are my things?”
“Ben brought them over this morning. I put them in the main bedroom. Up the stairs. It’s the first door on your left.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back. I’m psyched. Wow! We live on the beach.” They were a team now, and she was a wife!
Her life kept getting better and better, Rachel thought as she blew her husband a kiss, gathered up her skirt and dashed up the stairs. The gentler light of early evening was thinning, and she so wanted to have the daylight left to go on a long walk with her husband. They would be just another married couple, out for an evening stroll, hands linked, hearts content.
She half expected Jake to be coming up behind her, so she left the door ajar, spotted her suitcase under the wide picture window that gazed through the spears of palm leaves at the endless stretch of turquoise water. Pale sunshine poured through the slatted blinds and she turned the wand to close it. The light dimmed, and she gazed around the room she would be sharing with Jake.
The bed looked wide enough to be a queen-size. It was neatly made with a pale-blue bedspread covering it, and four plumped pillows in matching blue shams. Two mismatched nightstands sat at either side of the bed, holding matching lamps and a phone, an alarm clock and a thick, tattered military suspense paperback were crowded on the nightstand to the right side. That must be where Jake slept. And that meant she would be on the left side.
It gave her an odd, thrilling joy to think about the night to come. What a blessing to be held and loved by her husband, she thought, and, feeling bashful, decided not to think anymore about it.
The phone rang, echoing in the quiet house, then died in mid ring. Jake must have grabbed it downstairs. She waited. Sure enough she could hear the mumble of his voice. Maybe it was Sally calling. She hadn’t been sure about staying with Cadence, who’d been spending a lot of time watching her over the past few weeks. As Cadence had said, now Sally was her niece to watch over and spoil as much as possible.
I hope Sally’s not having a hard time away from Jake, Rachel thought as she managed to loosen the hooks-and-eyes at the back of her dress. The poor girl had been through enough. If she was afraid, then they would swing by and take her on their evening walk, too.
She knelt and popped open her largest suitcase. In a half a second she’d grabbed her favorite pair of walking shorts and a light T-shirt and headed for the attached bathroom. She wasn’t surprised by how clean and tidy everything was. Jake had clearly picked up and cleaned to make a good impression for her.
The small room had a high window that let in light as she pulled her hair into a ponytail and changed into her comfy clothes. Carefully, she gathered up the treasured dress and laid it out on the bed. No sign of Jake, so he must still be on the phone. She slipped her feet into her old sneakers and trotted down the steps.
He was on the phone, talking earnestly and low to whoever was on the other end of the line. He looked serious so maybe it was military stuff. She wandered into the kitchen and admired the cozy room. The appliances were a good decade old, but in good repair and very handy. She could imagine whipping up dinner while she waited for bread dough to rise and talking to Jake over the breakfast bar all the while.
Could anything be more perfect? This cute little duplex, full of good views and cozy places and a husband and child to care for. This was her home. This was her life. She was infinitely grateful.
She spotted a small bottle of water on the top shelf of the fridge and not much else, and thought how exciting this would be. To discover new favorite spots like grocery stores and coffee places and used bookstores. Things she could do with Jake and Sally. What an adventure it would be.
Brimming with happiness, she let herself outside, leaving Jake to finish his call in privacy. She sat down on the concrete top step and let the breeze off the ocean brush against her face. It was like a whole new world the Lord had given her, full of promise and good things. She could feel it. She thought of Paige and Amy, who would be handling the Friday-night supper rush about now. Tonight was the last high-school football game of the season and more snow had been expected, she knew. And she was staring at the Gulf of Mexico, wearing shorts!
The door behind her rasped open and Jake bounded down next to her, all business and tight energy. One look at his hard face told her something was wrong.
“Is it Sally?” Her heart jumped. “Is she okay? She was so quiet today, she’s not sick—”
“No. I’ve got field training tonight. It’s a drill. There’s not a single thing I can do about it. I’ve tried to get out, but I can’t. You get the call, and you go. It’s a mock emergency scenario and I’ve got to grab my gear and get rolling.”
Rachel studied the naked apology so stark on his handsome features and she knew with a sinking feeling that she had to let him go. It was as if the sun dimmed. “This definitely makes me feel like a military wife. You’re sure you have to go, huh? No, don’t answer that. I know you do. I just don’t want you to go.”
“Neither do I. Baby, I’ll make it up to you. I swear. I’ve got to run.”
“I know.” She trusted him, she knew he would make sure they’d have another evening that would be special together. Although this, their first night as husband and wife was not what she’d expected. She tapped down the rising disappointment.
“Thanks, baby. I’ll be back.” He kissed her quickly and bolted away. The door clicked shut. Less than a minute later she heard a pickup roar to life. His red truck sped down the driveway between the units, honked and disappeared around the corner.
Now what? Rachel still couldn’t believe she was sitting alone on her wedding night. The sun sank lower, casting a rosy glow directly into her eyes. She squinted and tried to remember where she’d put her sunglasses. The phone rang inside. Maybe that was Jake. Maybe his field emergency thing was cancelled. A girl could hope!
She snatched it up on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Rachel.” Cadence sounded unruffled, and Rachel remembered that Ben was on Jake’s team. Maybe he would have gotten the same call. “I bet you’ve suddenly found yourself without plans for the evening. How about coming over and watching a movie with Sally and me? We’ve got some good family favorites to pick from.”
“I’ll be over.” See, God never closed a door without opening a window. She’d spend the evening with her new niece and her sister-in-law. And maybe Jake would be back before bedtime. She left a note, just in case.
Jake sat in the belly of the chopper with his pockets heavy with extra ammo and protectively holding his M-4. He couldn’t get Rachel out of his thoughts. Not good for a soldier when lives depended on his absolute mastery of his emotions and iron self-control.
He’d had to leave her on their wedding night. That couldn’t be a good sign. Not
at all. What if she doubted his commitment? The knots in his chest that thinking of her always brought him stretched so tight, he couldn’t breathe.
What defense did a man have against the power a woman could have on him, and against the strength of love that he could feel for her?
“Hathaway. Focus, man.”
He looked up to see his squad leader snapping his fingers at him.
Not good. They were at the mock LZ, and his team members were standing, preparing to fast-rope down under simulated hostile fire. He brought his mind to the task ahead, but his heart was heavy. Something was going to go wrong, he could feel it. Very wrong.
With Sally’s cold hand tucked safely in hers, Rachel held the screen door and helped the girl find her way into the dark house. She hadn’t thought to leave a light on, mostly because she’d been so disappointed she hadn’t thought too far ahead. She fumbled along the wall for a light switch and didn’t find one.
Sally let go in a hurry and her footsteps sounded impatient as she crossed the living room. Faint shadows crept between the blinds to give the furniture shape, enough to navigate around. There was a click and a lamp turned on, illuminating the wariness on Sally’s usually cute face. Rachel had the feeling Sally wasn’t going to be cute tonight.
She’s lost a mother and had to move away from everything she knew, Rachel reminded herself. Her heart softened for this child who was hers now to nurture. She trusted the Lord to guide her through this, because she was going to need some big-time help. Jake getting married must be a scary change for a little girl who’d already lost her stability. It made sense she would be worried. “Tell you what, you run up and change into your jammies and I’ll whip up some cocoa and be up to read to you.”
“It’s too hot for cocoa.”
“Okay, how about some chocolate milk? I noticed a carton in the fridge. I’ll—”
“No.” Sally glared at her and crossed her hands over her chest, as if preparing for a fight. “I want Uncle Jake to get it for me.”
Uh-oh, this is going to be harder than I thought. Rachel headed to the kitchen anyway. “I’m going to make some for myself.”
Sally’s answer was to storm upstairs. Rachel found two blue glasses in a pretty bare cupboard, wondering how to help Sally the most. She was afraid, and Rachel knew something about that. Me, too, kiddo. Love was an act of faith, that was for sure. She poured a cup of milk and sipped it. The comforting chocolate and blessed cold did wonders for her. It was still warm at nine-thirty at night. Florida weather was nice, but it would take some getting used to.
The empty kitchen echoed around her with promises of tomorrow. Things would be better in the morning. Jake would be back, she felt sure, and she’d be frying up breakfast. If there was food to prepare.
A quick inventory of the pantry told her there was a half-used bag of pancake mix, and the prerequisite syrup and jam to go with it. She found half a carton of eggs in the door of the fridge and a half-pound of bacon in the freezer. She set that on a refrigerator shelf to thaw and, satisfied, locked up, turned off the lights and snatched Sally’s overnight bag on the way to the stairs.
No light shone down the short and narrow hallway. She knocked on the first door on her right—no answer. “Sally?” She cracked the door a little and saw the faint dusting of moonlight sifting through half-slatted blinds.
The silver glow fell on a mattress on the floor, made up with fresh sheets and a blanket and a plump pillow. A man’s clothes hung in the open closet and fatigues were neatly folded on the floor. Jake’s things? No, that didn’t make any sense. Maybe the mattress was for guests. It would be handy if one of her sisters could come down to stay. And those were extra clothes of Jake’s. That’s all.
“Sally?” She went in search of the girl’s room and stopped outside the next room. A faint glow that crept beneath the door told her a television was on. She knocked and turned the knob. “Sally? I’ve brought your bag.”
The only answer was friendly electronic music beeping and bopping from the TV. Rachel pushed the door open enough to see a child’s video game flashing on the screen. Sally sat crossed-legged on her bed, still in her cute turquoise shorts set, not at all ready for bed. And with the way she stared intently at her game, working the controls with concentration, she wasn’t interested in bedtime just yet.
Okay, she’s testing me. This was normal, typical kid behavior. After all, the two of them didn’t really know one another. Sally didn’t know that it was okay to trust her, and that already Rachel loved her so much. With patience, she’d figure it out. “Bedtime. Let’s get out your pajamas.”
“I’m not tired.” Sally didn’t move her eyes from the screen. She spoke more like a robot than the sweet kid she was in Jake’s care.
Rachel unzipped the bag and tossed the pink jammies onto the bed. “Suit up, and we’ll settle down to read.”
“No.” Sally gave the pretty garments a shove off the bed and then went right back to her game. “I don’t have to do what you say. You’re not my mom. You’re not even my real aunt. Uncle Jake just made you come here to take care of me.”
“I’m not trying to replace your mother, sweetie.”
“Don’t call me sweetie.” Sally tossed down the hand control to her game and turned her back.
Rachel ached for the little girl. She wished she knew how to take away her pain. What if by coming here, she’d caused Sally even more pain? Troubled, she made her way down the dark hall, praying for the Lord to heal the child’s broken heart.
Intending to give Sally a little space before trying again, Rachel shouldered open the master bedroom door. Seeing the wide bed all made up and waiting steadied her. Sally’s words hadn’t rattled, her, had they? No. The wedding dress shimmered like rich ivory, bringing back the memories of the day.
Rachel studied her new wedding band, glittering as pure and true as the vows she and Jake shared today. She remembered the affection in Jake’s gaze, the comfort of his touch, the steady promise in his voice as he’d sworn to cherish her through this life.
I’m just feeling sad because he’s not here, she realized, reaching for the dress. While she’d hoped for a much different night, she’d married a soldier and as a soldier’s wife she realized there would be a lot of ways she would need to be extra supportive of him. Being okay about his call tonight was one of those ways.
She nudged the closet door open and searched for a hanger, which wasn’t difficult considering the entire closet was empty. There wasn’t a shirt or a hanger in sight on the bare rod.
Sally’s words rolled back into her mind as she hustled across the hallway to the room where Jake’s clothes hung. Uncle Jake just made you come here to take care of me.
That’s not true. Rachel knew in her heart that it wasn’t. So why then, had Jake planned for separate rooms for their wedding night?
Chapter Fifteen
Jake hauled his duffel out of the truck, slung the bag’s thick strap over one shoulder and squinted against the rising sun. Exhausted, sweaty and limping, he hobbled up the steps to the back door. The first thing that greeted him was the scent of freshly brewing coffee and the greasy, meaty smell of cooked bacon. The second was fresh-faced, lovely Rachel in the kitchen.
His wife. That was hard to believe. The impossible knots tangled inside him yanked even more tightly—a warning sign. Danger ahead. He’d better get his emotions under control.
She was turned away from him, flipping pancakes. Her thick chestnut hair was swept back in a bouncy ponytail that swooped past her shoulder blades. She wore a pink tank top that showed off the graceful lines of her arms and her back, and wash-worn cutoffs hugged her slender hips. Her feet—toenails painted a pearled pink—were in a pair of pink flip-flops.
He’d never seen her like this. Relaxed, moving easily as she plated the pancakes and slipped them into the oven to keep warm. His heart turned over like an adoring dog and lay there, belly up and exposed.
Definitely danger ahead. He would not be we
ak. He would not be vulnerable. Panic set in because he didn’t want to feel this way. Not in combat, not in life and never in love. Combat he was trained for but this— Lord, he didn’t know how to leave the most vulnerable part of him exposed.
“You’re back.” He could tell that he’d startled her again, for her hand was over her heart and she sagged against the counter. “You’re very good at being a stealthy Special Forces guy. I’m going to have to get used to that. You look exhausted. How about some coffee?”
Her hand was shaking as she poured a cup. Shaking. That’s when he noticed she wasn’t smiling. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Rachel like this. Dimmed, as if she were holding back that light that always shone within her. She slipped the cup on the breakfast counter, pulling away before their fingers could meet. Turning away before he could do more than notice how sad she looked. Sad.
Then it was gone so fast, he wondered if he’d seen it at all. She looked tired, he realized. The stress of moving and leaving the responsibilities of her old life behind. And picking up those of a new one. He wanted to make this as easy on her as he could. “Coffee would be good. Figure you and I can take Sally to school, I’ll show you around Fort Walton Beach. Show you where the grocery store is. The post office. That kind of thing. Maybe we can get in the walk I promised you last night.”
“That sounds fine. Do you want breakfast?” She returned to the stove, where she poured more batter on the griddle.
She didn’t seem fine; she didn’t seem angry either. What did that mean? He didn’t know. He was too tired to think. Every muscle he owned was killing him, he’d gotten out of shape since he’d been gone. It didn’t take much. The ten-click run in full gear last night had taken a toll. “Is Sally up yet?”
