Need You Now

by Ali Parker

  “She’ll be moved again?” My pulse spiked. “How many times?”

  The women exchanged a glance, but it was filled with understanding instead of pity. Becky took my question. “Once when she moves to frail care. Perhaps again if she ever needs intensive care, but most of our residents don’t.”

  Which meant they died before they got there.

  The knowledge felt like a fist wrapping around my throat, cutting off my air supply and making me numb and lightheaded. “So once more at least?”

  “Once more at least.” They agreed.

  I felt like I was being attacked from the inside. My heart was folding in on itself but my brain kept throwing numbers at me. I had no idea how I was going to be able to afford this, but I would do whatever was necessary to help my mother.

  It didn’t matter what it cost me. It didn’t matter if I had to sell my house, my car, and everything else I owned. The money was no good to me if I couldn’t help her.

  “Move her,” I said. “Send me the invoice. I’ll pay the deposit for the room today and whatever the added fee will be at the end of the month. Just give her whatever she needs.”

  The meeting ended after I signed some papers, but I couldn’t even remember what else we’d discussed. My mind was on a singular track, and that was working out how the hell I was going to pay for all this.

  Before I left the home, I went to see my mom. We sat together for a long time but she was having a bad day and didn’t really say much. When she did speak, it was clear she didn’t know who I was.

  Eventually, I kissed her on the head and said goodbye. “I’m going to find the money, Mom. I don’t know where, and I don’t know how, but I promise you will have everything you need. You never let me down, and I won’t let you down now. I promise.”

  What I had to do might just end up costing me my soul and my only shot at happiness, but I didn’t give a fuck. Souls and happiness were for people who had money. I didn’t, but Mom had never had any either, and she’d never once let me go to sleep hungry.

  This was her hour of need, and there was no way I was going to give up on her now.

  Chapter 29

  HAVEN

  Kayla’s head popped around my office doorway, her fingers wrapping gently against the frame. She smiled when I looked up, wagging her brows at me. “You have a visitor.”

  I frowned, so absorbed in the orders I was busy placing that I barely registered what she said. When I did, my frown deepened. I never got any visitors. “Who?”

  Her eyes shone with either amusement or excitement. “I believe one term for it is paramour. Although that might not be right. I think that refers to a more illicit relationship, which we don’t know yours is yet. I mean, it might be but—”

  “What?” I shook my head. “Paramour? What are you talking about?”

  “Well, a paramour is a term for a lover but—”

  “I know what it is. Are you talking about Colton?” Kayla had been taking care of our appointments for the last hour or so while I put in our orders for the medication we needed. She knew it was urgent for me to get it done, yet she was chatting like we had all the time in the world.

  Technically, we had enough time, but it still didn’t explain her sudden rambling. She flushed like she knew exactly what I was thinking, then nodded. “Yes, Colton. He and his dog are here. They’re waiting for you in the exam room.”

  “Tiger’s here too?” I shot up out of my seat. “Is he okay? They didn’t have an appointment or let me know they were coming.”

  “He looks fine.” She shrugged, those damn eyes of hers still shining like this was the most fun she’d had in ages. “I think somebody just missed you.”

  “We don’t have that kind of relationship.”

  Did we? I knew there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about him and very few when we didn’t talk, but I didn’t think we missed each other just yet. On the other hand, I couldn’t deny that I certainly had been wanting to see him for the last couple of days since I last saw him.

  Isn’t that what missing someone is?

  Kayla answered my unasked question. “You might not think you do, but the fact that he showed up unannounced and asked for you means he wants to see you. He even came all the way here to do it, which means he didn’t want to wait any longer. Not even until tonight. I think that means he misses you.”

  “We’re about to find out.” I walked around my desk and headed to the exam room, closing the door behind me.

  “You didn’t have to shut her out.” Colton laughed when I turned around. “I overheard parts of your conversation and she’s right. I did miss you. I wouldn’t have minded admitting it in front of her.”

  My heart started pounding in response to his admission, my palms suddenly sweaty. “I missed you too.”

  As soon as I said it, I realized it was very much true. He opened his arms and I walked into them, hugging him and breathing in the scent of his spicy yet earthy cologne.

  “What brings you in?” I murmured against his shirt. “Is Tiger okay?”

  He stroked his fingers through my ponytail before releasing me. “He’s fine. Just due for his next round of shots. I think they’re his last ones for now.”

  A quick round of mental calculations confirmed he was right. “I can’t believe it’s already been that long. He’s growing up so fast.”

  I crouched down in front of the puppy, giving him a hug too. “You’re becoming such a big boy. Are you going to be brave for me one more time?”

  Colton gave me a mocking pout. “What about me? Bringing him in is brave of me. It hurts me to see you hurt him.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll make sure to give you a lollipop when we’re done. We keep some around here for kids who bring their pets in.”

  “I’ll have a blue one.” He flashed me a beaming smile. “You’re the best.”

  “Thanks.” I straightened up, pointing at Tiger’s back legs. “Can you give me a hand to get him up on the table? Let’s give him a quick look over before we torture him.”

  Once we had him on the table, I glanced up at Colton and noticed he had slight bags under his eyes. “How are you doing? It doesn’t look like you’ve been getting much rest on your vacation.”

  “That’s because I haven’t been on vacation.” He blew out a breath and scratched the back of his head. “I’ve been trying to get some work done. I have to.”

  “Why?” I cocked my head while running my hands along Tiger’s legs and hips. “I thought they told you to take some time off.”

  “They did, but then the nursing home called. My mother needs to be moved to a higher care part of the facility. It’s going to cost extra, so now isn’t the time for me to be figuring my shit out.”

  “How much extra? I don’t have that much saved up, but if it can help you, I’d be happy to give you everything I can.”

  He shook his head, his expression softening when he looked at me again. “Thank you, but I’m taking care of it.”

  “Are you sure? It really wouldn’t be a problem.”

  Moving around to my side of the examination table, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side, placing a soft kiss on my temple. “I’m working on a big story that I’m going to turn in. It should cover me for now. You could come over later and read it if you want? I could definitely use some help with that.”

  I turned my head into him, nuzzling his jaw as I nodded. “I’ll see you after work.”

  The next few hours were unbearably long. Now that I’d admitted I missed him, all I wanted was to be with him.

  When I arrived at his place, I all but collapsed into his arms. He held me tightly, smirking as he stepped back. “You really did miss me, huh?”

  “Yep.” I smiled and walked around him, dropping my purse and phone on his coffee table when we walked into his living room. “How was the rest of your day?”

  He shrugged, thumbs hooked into the pockets of his jeans. “Not much to rep
ort. Yours?”

  “Well, we’re on call for a horse that might be in foal by morning, but that’s about it.”

  “Another one?” He grinned. “I’d like to experience that again someday.”

  I chuckled. “Maybe I’ll take you with me if we end up being called out for this one.”

  “I think I’m going to have to miss this one.” Jaw clenching and unclenching, he turned to look out of the windows that made up one wall of his condo. “I really need to get this story done.”

  “Ahh.” I snapped my fingers, then curled my index finger at him. “Let me have it. I’ll read through what you have while you get us something to drink. What’s it about?”

  “Your clinic actually.”

  He said it so casually that it took my brain a second to process the words.

  My heart skipped a beat and my fingertips turned numb. “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah.” Without looking back at me, he picked up a printed sheet of paper and handed it over. “I’m not sure if you saw the article I did on a donor that was a no-show at a fundraiser a while back?”

  I nodded but my brain was so bathed in shock that it’d gone numb too.

  Colton took my silence as his cue to carry on. “That donor is the same person who owns your clinic. I’m not even sure if you’ve ever met him since you’ve never mentioned him, but I’m pretty sure he’s hiding something. I plan on exposing it.”

  The paper rustled in my hand from how hard I was trembling. He didn’t seem to notice, though.

  “I’ll go get those drinks while you read through it. Then we can brainstorm.”

  It took me a full minute to calm down enough to be able to focus. Faint sounds of his fridge opening drifted from the kitchen, and he whistled softly.

  It was obvious he didn’t have a clue about the emotional storm threatening to rip me apart from the inside out. Here was the only man I’d ever had a true connection with, and in the meantime, he didn’t feel anything about me.

  Kayla had been right all along. He only wanted to get close to me for his story—the same story in which he intended to pin my late father as a fraud and criminal.

  How could I have been so stupid? It’d been right there all along. I’d known about the story. I’d known he was looking into the donor. I’d known the timing of him showing up at the clinic was fishy.

  And despite it all, I’d successfully fooled myself into thinking that it was coincidental. That he deserved a chance. That we deserved a chance.

  Tears flooded my eyes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  I should’ve listened to my instincts. I should have listened to Kayla.

  Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda.

  It was too late for any of that now. The only thing left to do was to try to control the damage to the clinic’s reputation and to my own.

  Lifting the article in my shaky hands, I managed to skim through it before unbearable pain tore through my heart. Seeing my father’s name written along with all those vile allegations made me feel sick to my stomach.

  But I couldn’t afford to run away from this. As much as I wanted to jump up, run out, and never come back, I needed to try to discourage Colton from publishing this garbage. If I didn’t, I could lose everything that I’d spent my entire life working toward.

  I was already on the verge of losing my heart to him. I couldn’t lose my business—my livelihood and my life’s work—too. I utterly refused to let that happen.

  So I had to steel my stupid heart and get this over with. Once it was done, I could cry, rage, and kick myself until my butt was blue.

  For now, I stood up from his couch and crumbled the despicable excuse for an article into a ball in my fist. When I heard his footsteps padding out of the kitchen, I lifted my chin and wiped the tears that had fallen.

  He’d taken enough from me. I wouldn’t let him have my tears too.

  Chapter 30

  COLTON

  After the hell that had been the last few days, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I’d finally pulled my finger out of my ass and told Haven about my investigation into the clinic.

  If she helped me, and I was sure she would, I would have the piece done in no time. I might even be able to get the first installment to Ross by the morning, depending on how much information she could give me.

  Ice clinked in our glasses when I carried them out of the kitchen and I grinned. Things are definitely looking up.

  “What do you think?” I asked as I walked into the living room. “It’s still bare bones at the moment, but I’m hoping we can flesh it out a little tonight. There wasn’t much more I could put in with the information I had. I haven’t been able to find much, to be honest with you.”

  I looked up, frowning when I realized she was standing. When I’d left, she’d been sitting down and looking happy and relaxed. That definitely wasn’t true anymore.

  Her face was as white as a sheet except for angry red blotches on her cheeks. Tears glistened in her eyes and her fists were clenched tight at her sides. Only the corner of the paper I’d handed her stuck out between her thumb and her index finger. The rest of it was obviously balled up in her hand.

  Throat working as if she was trying to hold back tears, she brought her narrowed gaze up to mine and glared at me. “Were you using me all along?”

  “Excuse me?” My head jerked back.

  “You heard me.” Her eyes flashed and she took a step back when I tried to approach her. She lifted her clenched hands up to warn me away. “Were you using me to get insight into a story that you obviously have no clue about?”

  “No.” I set our glasses down on the coffee table before reaching for her. “I swear I wasn’t using you. I went there that first day to get a good look at the place and to see if I could find anything to help me, but then I met you and my plans were kind of derailed.”

  “Bullshit,” she seethed, somehow managing to narrow her eyes even further. “Don’t lie to me anymore, Colton. Man the fuck up and at least admit that you wriggled your way into my life like the worm you are.”

  “Worm?” I barked out a laugh, but it was completely humorless. Haven took another step back as soon as I took one forward. “I’m not lying to you. I never have. You know things about me no one else in the whole fucking world knows. I gave up on asking for your help with this story ages ago, but I really need it now. That’s why I brought it up.”

  “If you ‘gave up,’” she made air quotes around the words, still clutching the crumpled paper in her one hand, “then clearly you were planning on using me for information after we started hanging out. You can say I know things about you no one else does, but how am I supposed to trust you now? Everything you’ve ever said to me could be either a lie, an attempt at honesty to get close to me, or bits of both.”

  “What? No. Why would you think any of that? I wrote the first piece of this story before I even met you. When I couldn’t get any more information about the owner from my research, I decided to check out the clinic and then I met you. I might’ve gone there for the story, but nothing between us since has been about that.”

  “Yeah. I know about your first piece. All of that was garbage too. I should’ve known better than to trust you. Hell, I did know better. I just didn’t want to believe that you were using me. My mistake.”

  My heart raced, my mind desperately trying to process what the fuck was going on here. I didn’t have the first fucking clue why Haven would react like this. Why would she jump to the conclusion that I’d been using her?

  Although… “Just listen to me for a minute, okay? I never thought about it like that. I never, for one fucking second, thought you’d think I was using you. I wasn’t. I swear it.”

  She scoffed, shaking her head so hard and fast it was like someone was fast-forwarding through the moment. “You swear it? Oh, wow. In that case, I guess I better just believe you and forget that you’re trying to ruin my livelihood. You know how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am. If you cared about
me at all, you wouldn’t be trying to tear it down.”

  Every word that came out was like a shot to my chest, but she wasn’t done. “You’re writing this shit that you have no right writing about. Not a single word of it is true, yet you’re planning on publishing it as a fact. It’s pathetic.”

  My confusion turned into something much darker. It turned into certainty that I’d been right, and the thrill of the chase churned in my stomach even as I felt a crack opening up in the center of my soul.

  “You sound an awful lot like someone with something to hide right now,” I said, walking back to lean against the wall with my arms crossed.

  I knew I was goading her, but I didn’t give a fuck. My mother needed this and I’d known it might cost me Haven. I’d hoped it wouldn’t, but I’d already decided to follow through no matter what. “If you say I’m the one who’s lying, the one who’s not trustworthy, then tell me the truth. Tell me what’s going on at that clinic where the owner’s never around, the employees never even mention him, and there’s not a trace of him to be found.”

  “None of that is any of your business,” she spat. “You’re sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. There’s nothing at the clinic for you, Colton. Including me. Stay the fuck away.”

  “No.” I thrust my chin up in the air, meeting her death glare.

  If looks really could kill, I’d have been at least twelve feet under. But they could bury me as long as my mother had everything she needed.

  Rising to Haven’s challenge, I narrowed my own eyes and gave up any hope that I might be able to turn this conversation around. “I have no idea what’s going on there, but I’m going to find out. If just the mention of it gets this kind of reaction out of you, it must be something that is going to captivate my audience.”

  “Fuck you and your fucking audience.” She tossed the paper down on the floor and stormed to pick up her purse. “A minute ago, you claimed that you were never using me. Now you’ve turned around and as good as admitted it.”