Rachel, Out of Office

by Christina Hovland

  “Do you love Dakota? Do you love her enough to see your kids only a few times a year?” she asked.

  “Honestly?”

  “I think we’re being honest here, aren’t we?”

  “No.” He dropped his face to his palms. “I don’t love her like that. But it’s what I’ve got.”

  The silence that descended wasn’t awkward, but it was heavy. She had the intense urge to reach out and hold his hand, but it wasn’t her place.

  The deep inhale that came from the other side of the room clearly shocked both of them, given the way both of their heads twisted in that direction.

  “I guess it’s a good thing we discover this now, before the exchange of vows,” Dakota said.

  Rachel rolled her lips between her teeth and stared at Dakota standing at the entrance to the room.

  Huh. Dakota’s neck did the same splotchy thing Rachel’s did when she got upset.

  Gavin stood, wiped his palms on his slacks, and with a nod to Rachel, he moved to his next future-ex.

  And Rachel? Rachel wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself.

  So she went to search for Travis.

  She didn’t really know why she needed to find him, but it felt important. Important to her.

  …

  Travis

  Dakota was pissed. Really, really pissed.

  The family lake house had, apparently, totally wrecked her mellow. What with all the yelling going on behind the door of the study.

  Dakota was yelling. Gavin was not. Gavin was, surprisingly, calm and doing his best to utilize reason. Travis never thought he’d live to see the day that Gavin was the reasonable one in a relationship. Turned out anything could happen at Twin Lakes.

  “You think they’re okay?” Rachel asked. She wasn’t talking to anyone in particular. Because they were all standing outside the door.

  Well, technically it was the living area right off the study.

  Even Mom and Dad were there. They kept giving each other looks that communicated a lot more than words. And Mama kept side-eying Rachel like this was just the opportunity she’d been waiting for to nudge Rachel back into Gavin’s arms.

  Travis did not fucking think so.

  Dakota was really on a roll, and this was the kind of thing the boys probably didn’t need to hear when it came to their dad.

  “I don’t think they’re okay,” Dave said, shooing the boys toward the kitchen when they came out after a particularly loud Dakota f-bomb.

  Travis didn’t think they were okay, either. This was definitely mid-relationship implosion magnitude.

  “I think we should mind our own business,” he said, turning to follow Dave, the boys, and the dogs, who were always ready and willing to go into the kitchen because that’s where the good stuff happened for them.

  “Maybe I should go in. See if I can defuse things.” Rachel had her arms crossed at her chest again. Travis felt the pull to go to her, help hold her up, so she didn’t feel like she had to hold the world up herself.

  “I think the one thing that could make this relationship ending worse is the ex-wife stepping in,” Travis said. He tilted his head toward the kitchen.

  “Then I should go in.” Evelyn started toward the door.

  Right, so Rachel was probably not the worst thing to add to the recipe of their relationship destruction.

  Bob shook his head. “No, sweets. Let them figure it out.”

  Instead of going to the kitchen, Rachel headed toward her bedroom.

  Travis gave her a few minutes, made an appearance in the kitchen, and then followed her.

  He found her sitting on her bed, laptop in front of her, clicking away.

  “You’re exhausted,” he said. She was gorgeous, of course, but the smudges under her eyes were becoming more and more prominent.

  Also, she looked like she was ready to cry.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” He stepped toward her, carefully, because she looked easily spooked at the moment.

  She shook her head, a little too quickly, a little too jerky.

  “Is this about Gavin? Did he say somethin’ to you?” Because if he did, Travis would need to have more than a word.

  “No, it’s Cassie. She called when Gavin and I were talking. I didn’t pick up. So she sent me an email detailing her concerns about my availability.” Rachel gulped, pasting on a smile. “I’m so tired of this, Trav. So freaking tired.”

  Fucking hell. This Cassie was a piece of work.

  “It’s fine, though. I’ll fix it. Somehow.”

  “You get to have a life, too.” He continued moving toward her, keeping his voice even. “And you get to spend time with the boys, with me, with whoever you want.”

  She nodded. “That’s why I wrote this.”

  She turned the laptop toward him.

  “I wrote this after we got back from dancing the other night. But I wasn’t sure if I should send it,” she continued. “I figured if I doubled down on my dedication, I wouldn’t have to.”

  Rachel had drafted an email laying out her office hours, the time required to respond to requests, and guidelines on the best ways to communicate.

  It included scheduling links, bullet points, and an abundance of organization. Not that he’d expect anything less from her.

  “I couldn’t bring myself to send it.” She turned the laptop back to herself and scrunched her forehead while she reread the message.

  The message, for the record, was perfect. Firm, but not terse.

  “Limits don’t mean you’re weak.” He traced his fingertip down her forehead, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She hadn’t bothered taking out the knot she’d put it in when he came into the room. “They actually mean you’re strong enough to recognize the importance of the other things in your life.” He nodded to her screen with the blinking cursor. “This lays out the terms of the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that. Isn’t this what we did that night? Doesn’t make us weak.”

  “I don’t want to tick her off.” Rachel squinted at the screen and then scowled at it.

  “Isn’t she ticking you off?” Travis asked, because Cassie sure ticked him off on the regular.

  Rachel nodded. “I should send this to everyone I work with.”

  She inhaled. Exhaled. Glanced to him. Worried her top lip with her teeth.

  Her finger hovered over the button.

  He wanted to make this easier for her, but there was nothing he could do except stand there like a doofus with a stone in his stomach, waiting for her to make the call.

  She pressed the button and closed her eyes.

  “Do you want to take a minute and send it to everyone? Or do you want to do that later?”

  “Now.” She clicked through her screen. “I should just do it all now.”

  He sat on the bed beside her, running his palm up and down her back while she finished clicking send.

  “There,” she said.

  “There,” he echoed.

  She stared at her screen, unmoving. He continued what he hoped were reassuring brushes over her back. “The world didn’t end.”

  The edges of her lips twitched. “It didn’t.”

  He pressed a light kiss against her temple. “How do you feel?”

  “Scared.” She adjusted how she sat on the bed, so their mouths were close. “But I had to do it.”

  He deleted the space between their lips, brushing his lightly against hers.

  The commotion of Dakota and Gavin—mostly Dakota, since Gavin wasn’t fully participating in the scream fest—passing in front of the open bedroom door in the hallway had Travis pulling away.

  Then the front door slammed.

  “I think she left.” Rachel’s wide eyes met Travis’s. “Where are the boys?”

  “Kitchen with Dave,
last I checked. Mama was showing them how to crumble cinnamon sugar toaster tarts over ice cream for a special topping.”

  “Great.” Rachel rubbed her forehead. “Gummy bears and cinnamon.”

  The motion made his stomach cramp. He didn’t want this for Rachel. She deserved easy for a while.

  “Maybe I can drag them out with me for a run?” Travis asked. “Give them a way to burn off all the sweets?”

  Rachel’s email chimed, and Travis’s gut turned over on itself again. Rachel seemed to feel the same way, because her skin had gone chalky.

  “It’s from James,” she said. “He said he understands the changes and is happy I’m working with him.”

  “Who’s James?” Travis asked.

  He’d heard all about the guys in Australia, and Cassie, but she’d never mentioned James.

  “James makes these sandal things. They’re pretty neat. We started working together recently, and we have a pretty set schedule. He doesn’t veer from it very often.”

  “Does he pay on time?”

  “So far. He’s got it automated with his bank.”

  “So he’s an A-list client.”

  She laughed. “I guess so. That’s one way to think of it.”

  “If you had to assign a designation to Cassie and the other guys, what would you give them?”

  “The guys get a solid C. But we’re still getting used to understanding how we can work together.”

  “Cassie?” he asked.

  Rachel picked at the bedspread. “I don’t even think she’d get a letter.”

  She followed this with a light chuckle, but it was pretty clear she meant it.

  Her email dinged again.

  “So far you’re one for three; let’s see who that is,” Travis said, squeezing her hand.

  Rachel sucked in a breath. “Shit.”

  He glanced at the screen, and it was an email from Cassie dissolving the contract with Rachel’s company.

  Yes, that really made Travis’s gut turn over.

  Rachel slumped a little.

  “No matter what, you’re going to be okay.”

  She nodded, but didn’t really seem to believe it.

  Another email chime, and this time he had to stand because the unknown was totally making his stomach cramp.

  “The other guys want to have a meeting tomorrow to ‘discuss the nature of our future projects.’” She read aloud from their email.

  “Rach.” Travis shoved his hands in his pockets. “You did the right thing here.”

  “That leaves me just the one.” Her expression seemed to freeze.

  “You don’t know that.” Travis started to step toward her—

  “Rachel?” his mother called from down the hall.

  Rachel looked at Travis, then at the open door. It wasn’t like they were doing anything inappropriate.

  Rachel tilted her head toward the bathroom, her expression earnest.

  Today was probably not the day to fight that battle. Travis started toward the bathroom to hang out until his mother skedaddled.

  “Trav.” His name on Rachel’s lips stopped him cold.

  He turned. His mother stood in the doorway. And the Puffle Yum Momster—as Rachel called her—looked like she was ready to eat her young.

  That would be him.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “‘Choose your battles wisely…you will need that woman on your side one day.’ This was my mother’s advice the day I got married when I was whining about my soon-to-be mother-in-law. My mother was right, and I’ve remembered that for thirteen years—I do need her on my side.” —Kendra, Michigan, USA

  Rachel

  “Travis, what are you doing here?” Evelyn asked innocently, like she didn’t know.

  Rachel knew her well enough to know that after the momentary shock dissolved, she knew. Yes, the look on her face, that glint in her eye—Evelyn knew. She knew exactly what she’d just walked in on.

  “Are you two?” She waved a finger between them.

  Travis shook his head. “Don’t get involved in things that don’t involve you.”

  Rachel had just witnessed the start of the implosion of her company, Gavin may or may not be moving to Boston, the boys were fighting like they hadn’t in forever, and the only thing in her life that felt remotely like a rock was Travis. And that was about to be snatched away.

  “What on earth do you think this will lead to?” Evelyn’s expression steeled. “Doesn’t this just take the tart?”

  Rachel refused to feel ashamed over her feelings for Travis. Or setting boundaries with her clients. Or any of the other things she did because, dammit, she got to be happy, too.

  “Even my cat can’t believe you’re considering this,” Evelyn said on a huff.

  Oh, well, goodness, if it was the cat struggling with Rachel and Travis’s relationship, then they should absolutely dissolve it immediately. The difference was that this relationship was real where the cat was…not.

  Perhaps the pretend cat might need real executive assistance. Oh God. Is this what my life has come to? These kinds of thoughts?

  The room seemed to get too hot. Her skin too itchy.

  “Mama.” Travis strode toward Rachel. “Rachel’s having a pretty rough day. Lay off a little?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Evelyn said. If Rachel didn’t know the Puffle Yum Momster and her innate ability to get whatever she wanted, she probably would’ve bought that line from her. As it was? She did not.

  “I’m just looking for my son and the mother of my grandchildren so they can come enjoy ice cream with the rest of us.” Evelyn waved a hand between them. “But I find this instead.”

  “What exactly did you find, Mama?” Travis asked. “Because all I see is Rachel having a rough day, me talking to her, and you barging in and yapping about your cat.”

  “You two are in a bedroom.” Evelyn glanced very pointedly toward the bed. “Together. Alone.”

  “Believe it or not, Mama, I don’t just drop my pants every time I enter a bedroom with a beautiful woman,” Travis said.

  They continued volleying back and forth, but the room was getting too small, and Rachel couldn’t catch her breath. She evacuated to get her boys, so she could take them for a long, long walk and try to figure out what came next. How, without Cassie, she was going to make ends meet next month. And the month after.

  Catching her breath got harder as she hurried down the hall and into the kitchen. She found Kellan, Brady, Bob, Dave, and Gavin all indulging in Evelyn’s homemade peach toaster tarts and ice cream.

  “Meemaw says peach is the next it flavor,” Brady said with his mouth half full. “I don’t know what that means, but it’s yummy.”

  “Boys.” She kissed them both on the tops of their heads. “I was thinking we might take a walk. What do you say?”

  “My tummy doesn’t feel good.” Kellan started to push his bowl away. The residual bit of melted sugared cream and mushy toaster tart sloshed in the bottom like a reminder of Rachel’s present life circumstances.

  Evelyn knew. Rachel lost any semblance of control of the situation. What was going on was definitely not perfection.

  “Well, sweetie, you know that when you eat gummy bears, and ice cream, and pastry, it’s probably not going to feel too good on your tummy.” Rachel rubbed his shoulders. “Let’s go walk it off.”

  Kellan apparently changed his mind about the tummy ache because he pulled the bowl toward him again. Then he dove right back in like he was in a food-eating competition.

  Evelyn’s voice slid down through the door to the kitchen. “I’m just asking why you two couldn’t talk in the living room. Why the bedroom? This is not a hard question to answer.”

  “Mama, stop.” Travis’s words were curt.

  “Do you no
t understand what is inappropriate and what is not?” Evelyn asked, emerging from the hallway and glancing around the kitchen. “How are we all doing?”

  “Dakota left.” Gavin had shoved his sleeves up to his elbows and continued to drown his sorrows in sugar.

  “She left the ring, too,” Dave added, also diving into his ice cream.

  “We’ll look for it tomorrow.” Gavin spoke to the bowl, not looking up.

  Dave lifted a shoulder. “She tossed it in the lawn over by the stairs.”

  Rachel made a mental note not to allow the dogs over there when they took their middle of the night bathroom break. Also, throwing the ring in the lawn was a tad bit cliché. If Dakota was going to throw a drama, Rachel expected a little better. Go all in and get creative.

  Not that she’d ever thrown a drama. But she’d thought about it lots of times.

  Evelyn was whispering to Bob about what she’d discovered in Rachel’s bedroom. Rachel’s chest was feeling tighter and tighter by the moment.

  “Uncle Trav, did my mom lose her toothbrush again?” Kellan asked.

  Rachel’s tongue turned to ash, and suddenly toaster tart ice cream seemed like an excellent idea. Maybe she’d even have some cake. And ask Travis to make her a pitcher of margaritas for her and Evelyn’s cat to share.

  “Her toothbrush?” Dave asked, raising his eyebrows in the general direction of Travis.

  “Yeah.” Kellan even sallied forth through his stomachache to dive back into the remnants of his not-so-much dinner. “I don’t know why he had to take his shirt off to find her toothbrush.” He lifted his little eight-year-old shoulder in a hell of a shrug.

  “He what?” Evelyn practically shrieked. Okay, so it wasn’t really a full shriek. It was more of a sound of surprise with a dash of high anxiety.

  “Oh dear lord,” Rachel said under her breath. She rubbed at her skull, not looking at anyone.

  “Uh,” Dave said, clearly unsure how to continue. Which was apt, because she had no idea, either.

  “Mama,” Travis said, stepping toward his mother, who was taking a play out of Gavin’s book and opening her mouth, closing it, then opening it again like she was trying to catch any variety of flying insects.