Her Forbidden Cowboy

by Charlene Sands

  In the morning, her weakened body felt bulldozed. Her head was propped by the pillow and her limbs lay flaccid on the bed as she absorbed the comfort of the luxurious mattress. She missed having Zane’s arms around her, but she needed these hours of privacy to rest up.

  A soft knock at her door snapped her eyes open. “Jess, are you awake?”

  She sat taller in the bed, ran her fingers through her hair and pinched her cheeks, hoping she still didn’t look like death warmed over. “Yes, come in.”

  Zane entered the room, assessing her from top to bottom, and took a seat on the side of the bed. “Morning. Are you feeling any better today?”

  “Yes. Just a little tired still. But I’m sure once I get up and eat something, I’ll perk right up.”

  He looked like a zillion bucks. Dressed in crisp new jeans, his signature sterling silver Z belt buckle and a Western shirt the color of sea coral decorated tastefully with rhinestones that outlined a horse and rider, Zane resembled the superstar that he was. His concert shirts were custom-made by a trusty tailor, and this one was perfect for a day with children. “Glad to hear it. Mrs. Lopez has breakfast ready whenever you are.”

  The mention of food riled her stomach. And blood drained from her face. Her eyes drifted toward the digital clock inside a wall unit near her bed. It was almost ten! “Zane! I had no idea how late I slept. Give me a few minutes to get dressed and I’ll—”

  As she hinged her body forward, Zane’s arms were on her shoulders, pressing her back down. “Whoa, Jess. Slow down.”

  Dizziness followed her as her head hit the pillow. The world spun for a second, and when it stopped, a soft sigh escaped her. “But I’m supposed to go with you today.” It was her job, her duty as Zane’s personal assistant. Zane wasn’t used to making appearances on his own. He always had an assistant to usher him through the process.

  “I didn’t have the heart to wake you. I’m leaving in just a few minutes. What I want you to do is take the day off and relax. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “I don’t want to miss it.”

  He took hold of her hand. “I wish you could come, too.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”

  “I’ll be sure to call Mrs. Russo this morning. She’s in charge at Children’s Hospital, and I made all the arrangements through her. I’ll tell her the situation.”

  “Don’t go to any trouble. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

  “No trouble.” She picked up her cell phone. “I’ve got the number right here.”

  Zane’s gaze swept over her rumpled sheets and the spot where she’d conjured up her phone. “You sleep with your cell phone?” His incredulous voice tickled the funny bone inside her head.

  “When I’m not sleeping with you.”

  He grinned and kissed the top of her head. “Feel better.”

  “Thanks.”

  As soon as Zane left, she made the call and was relieved that Mrs. Russo was amenable to sticking by Zane’s side today, keeping him on schedule. She was a fan and was looking forward to the day, as well. Jessica hung up, convinced Zane would enjoy himself, doing what he loved to do. He’d be fine on his own. He liked being around children. Singing to them and with them would be second nature to a guy who’d lived and breathed country music as a boy.

  A short time later, ringing blasted in her ear, and she lifted her eyelids. When had she drifted off? How long had she been in sleep land? She squinted to ward off the sunshine blazing into her window. The last thing she remembered was speaking with the director at the hospital regarding Zane’s appearance. She took a few seconds to awaken fully, blinking and stretching. Gosh, she felt better, her stomach didn’t ache and her head cleared of all the fuzz.

  All systems go.

  She grabbed her phone and greeted her caller on the third ring. “Hello, Mariah. It’s good to hear from you.”

  Mariah had been calling in at least once a week to make sure things were going smoothly for her and checking in on Zane. Jessica appreciated her diligence and thoughtfulness, but she’d already spoken with Mariah earlier in the week. “Is everything alright?”

  “Everything is actually better than I hoped.” Enthusiasm that had been vacant in Mariah’s voice since her mother’s ordeal was making a sparkling comeback. “The last time I spoke with Zane, I told him my mother was being re-evaluated by the doctors. Well, the good news is that even though Mom has something of a long road ahead of her, she’s recovered enough to come home from the transitional facility. My sister plans on taking over from now on. She’ll have the help of a caregiver during the week. And I’ll come home on the weekends whenever I can to help out. I tried to reach Zane to tell him I’ll be coming back to work starting Monday morning, but I think he shut his phone off.”

  Mariah was coming back in five days? The news pounded Jessica’s skull. Five days. She’d known this day would come, but she’d been too busy living in the moment to worry about it. “Oh, uh...yes. He’s not here. He’s doing a show at the children’s hospital.”

  “That’s where he really shines,” Mariah was saying. “Anyway, you don’t have to pinch-hit for me anymore. You, my savior, are off the hook.”

  She was off the hook? But she liked being on the hook. She was hooked on Zane.

  Wow. Just like that, her life was about to change again. Mariah would return to work, and things would go back to the status quo. No more sunset dinners with Zane or moonlit strolls or making love on his big bed during the night. The happy place in her heart deflated. Like when the air inside a balloon was released, she fizzled.

  “I’m happy to hear your mother’s doing well, Mariah.” She really was. It was good news, and she focused on that and what Mariah had gone through to get to this point. “And I’ll be sure to tell Zane.”

  “Thanks, hon. I know you’ve done a great job in my absence. Zane sings your praises and tells me not to worry about a thing.”

  “Well, there wasn’t all that much to do.” Except to fall for the boss. “And you left impeccable notes.”

  “It’s a flaw of mine. I’m a detail person. Makes most people crazy, but it comes in handy for the kind of work that I do. I’m happy Zane had you these past weeks. And I’m eager to come back to work. What about you, Jessica? How’s your summer going?”

  The summer was more than half-over. If she stayed, nothing would be the same. She wouldn’t be working alongside Zane, and she couldn’t very well carry on with him right under Mariah’s nose. She had no name for her relationship with Zane. She wasn’t his girlfriend. He hadn’t made a commitment to her in any way. Did he look at her as a forbidden fling? He wanted to be her rebound guy, and he’d accomplished that and more. He got an A for effort.

  “My coming back doesn’t mean you have to leave, you know. Please don’t on my account,” Mariah was saying. But in fact, her coming back meant that very thing. Zane hadn’t spoken about the future with Jessica. He wasn’t one to plan anymore. He took things as they came now. Hadn’t he encouraged her to do the same? “I would love to get to know you better.”

  “I feel the same way, Mariah. But unfortunately, I can’t promise you that. I...should be getting home soon. There are things I have to do.”

  Prepare her lesson plans for the new school year.

  Avoid Steven at all costs.

  Fall back in step with single life in Beckon.

  Try not to think about Zane.

  “I understand. When home is calling, you must go.”

  “When Beckon beckons.”

  Mariah chuckled.

  “Sorry. It’s a dumb joke the locals think is clever. Small-town humor.”

  “Sounds kinda sweet. Will you tell Zane I’m sorry I missed him? It was nice talking to you, Jess.”

  “Sure, I�
�ll tell Zane as soon as he gets back, and same here. Good talking to you.”

  Bittersweet emotions snagged her heart. She was thankful Mariah’s mother was on the mend, but the thought of leaving Zane to return to Beckon was killing her. He’d be home soon.

  And she’d have to tell him the news.

  Ten

  “You’re staying,” Zane said resolutely. His handsome face was inches from hers as she lay on a beach blanket on the sand right outside his back door, her head propped by a towel. She’d needed some sun to put color on her sickly cheeks while she tried to figure out where in heck her life was headed.

  “How can you say that so easily?”

  He’d plopped down beside her just minutes ago, wearing shorts and an aqua Hawaiian shirt. He’d been in a good mood since coming back from the children’s hospital, and she’d had to spoil it by giving him the news that she’d be returning home.

  “It is easy. You’re my summer guest. What’s so hard about that?”

  He made it seem so simple, and he’d brought along his arsenal of secret weapons to convince her. His ripped chest grazed her breasts, teasing and tormenting her. Powerful arms braced on either side of her head surrounded her with strength, and that amazing mouth of his hovered so close she could almost taste it. His presence surrounded her, sucking oxygen from her rational brain.

  “It’ll be awkward. These past weeks it’s been just us, and now that Mariah will be here most of the time, it won’t be the same. She’ll guess what’s going on.”

  As he cupped her head with both hands, she had nowhere to look but deep into his eyes. “She probably already knows, Jess. Mariah keeps up on everything, and I’m sure she’s seen that tabloid photo of us. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be up-front with her and explain the situation.” Zane lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers. “It won’t matter if she knows, as long as you stay.”

  Yes, yes. His kiss was a potent persuader. Oh, how she wanted to agree with him. She shouldn’t care what people thought. But darn it, she did, and her heart was at stake, too. “I’m not... I don’t do... Never mind.”

  “Jess,” he said softly, his finger outlining the lips he’d just kissed. His touch seeped into her skin as he curved his fingertips around and around the rim of her mouth as if he’d never touched anything so fascinating. She’d hoped he’d ask her to stay, but she wanted more. She wanted the happily-ever-after that wasn’t bound to happen.

  He claimed her lips and took her into another world. When he was through kissing her, his deep, dark eyes were hot, heavy and filled with desire. “You can’t go yet. This is new and real, and right now I can’t offer you more than that.” His words were raw with emotion. “But I’m asking you to stay.”

  New and real? Those were promising words. Hope began to build in her, but she warned herself not to be a fool. She couldn’t get blindsided again. She had to face the truth head-on. She didn’t know if Zane had the capacity to love again. He was and always would be devoted to her sister. Could she live with that? Could she spend the next five weeks with him and enjoy herself? The new Jess said yes. Go for it, you idiot! But the old Jess buried deep down wasn’t quite so fearless, and she rose up occasionally to plant dire warnings in her ear. “I want to...but—”

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to make up your mind right this minute. Take time to think it over.”

  Her shoulders relaxed as she blew breath from her lungs. “Okay, I can do that,” she said softly.

  “Good.” He rose and offered her his hand.

  “Where are we going?”

  “One guess.” He waggled his brows. He was six feet two inches of gorgeous, rugged, tan and aroused.

  “You don’t play fair, Zane Williams.”

  “You don’t play fair. That bikini does things to my head and...” He looked down past his waistband. “If I don’t get inside soon, I’ll be arrested for indecent exposure.”

  She took his hand, and he yanked her up. She fell against him, her hands landing on his broad, bronzed chest. He smelled of sunshine and sand and sunscreen, and at this moment, she couldn’t imagine not being with him.

  “What would the residents of the Ventura Women’s Senior Center say to that?”

  A smile spread wide across his face. “They’d probably invite me back with an engraved invitation.”

  She laughed along with him, and her day brightened.

  * * *

  Jessica gave her body and soul to Zane, and the past three days had been magical. They rode horses, had moonlight swims, dined and danced together. Zane took her to the new restaurant, and they’d surveyed the progress, sharing ideas. He helped her answer fan mail, giving attention to questions and signing the letters personally. At night their lovemaking was intense, the heat level rising above anything she’d ever experienced before, but it was more than that. Emotions were involved now, their time together precious. Each night before they drifted off to sleep, Zane would hold her close and whisper in her ear, “Stay.” In the morning, they’d rise at the crack of dawn to walk along the beach before the world woke up.

  Except for a growing suspicion she might be pregnant, everything was perfect.

  The idea of carrying Zane’s baby made her glow inside, the beaming light of hope strong. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but how could she not embrace the new life she might be carrying? She’d been queasy in the mornings ever since her bout of illness, but she managed to hide it from Zane for the most part. She ate little in the mornings, to his raised eyebrows, claiming she put on weight fast and needed to be disciplined. “You haven’t got an ounce of fat on you,” he’d said.

  “And I want to keep it that way.” Not entirely true. She wasn’t a big believer in stick-thin female bodies, especially since she might be described as voluptuous. But most men bought that explanation, and for now, feminine vanity was a white lie that was necessary.

  She’d been overly tired, too, but when Zane noticed, she attributed her fatigue to the energetic pace they’d been keeping in and out of bed. And she was overdue on her monthly cycle.

  Locked inside her bathroom, she held the pregnancy test in her hand, waiting those precious few minutes that might change the course of her life. Zane was out shopping—which was bizarre since the man would rather break his other foot than step into a store—and she would use this time alone to deal with whatever came her way. Admittedly, it had taken her half an hour to muster the courage to break open the package and pee on the stick. And now that she had, her pulse pounded in anticipation.

  Seconds ticked by, and then she glanced down and got the news.

  She leaned against the sink and pressed her eyelids closed.

  “Okay.” She took a breath.

  The new Jess was strong. She could do this.

  Tears stung behind her eyes.

  “Jess?”

  Oh, no. Zane was home. What was he doing back so soon?

  “I’ll just be a minute.” Her voice wobbled from behind the bathroom door.

  “Okay, mind if I wait for you in here?”

  “Uh, no. It’s okay.” Shaking, she scrambled to toss all signs of the pregnancy test away. She wrapped everything in toilet paper and shoved it into the bottom of her trash container. She took another few seconds to wash her face and straighten herself out mentally. Then she opened the door.

  Zane was lying across her bed, staring out the window. He sat up the minute he saw her and smiled, a winning, charming, loving smile that seared straight into her heart.

  “Everything okay, sweetheart?”

  She nodded and bit her lip to keep herself from saying more.

  Zane studied her face. Did he see the truth in her expression? She lowered her eyes, and that’s when she saw a small, square, sapphire-blue velvet box on the spot next to him.

 
“Sit with me?” He picked up the box and patted that same spot for her to take a seat.

  She did and turned his way. He had something to say, and she was all ears.

  “Recently, you gave me a gift that was especially meaningful. And now, it’s my turn to give you something. Not in reciprocation but because, well, you deserve this. I had this made for you.”

  His eyes contained a genuine spark of excitement as he placed the box in her hand. Whatever it was, Zane was eager for her to see it. She didn’t make him wait. Gently she opened the lid and lifted out a unique charm bracelet. She’d never seen one made with diamonds before. “Oh, Zane.” She was truly swept away. “This is...” A lump in her throat blocked her next words. She was speechless.

  The silver-and-diamond bracelet held three charms and glittered brightly enough to light all of Moonlight Beach. The charms were well thought-out and special to the person that she was. The first charm was a teacher’s apple that reminded her of her students, the second was a schoolbook with opened pages and the third was a pair of eyeglasses, which, up until a few weeks ago, were her mainstay. Every charm was exquisitely outlined by small diamonds. A tiny heart hung from the clasp, engraved with one word in italic script: Stay.

  “Let me try it on you,” Zane said, and she put out her hand.

  “Thank you,” she said finally. She couldn’t have been more surprised. Zane fastened the clasp around her wrist. The fit was perfect, and there was something about a personalized gift, no matter what it was, that made her feel cared for. There were no words to express how meaningful this gift was to her. Zane had outdone himself. “It’s very special.”

  “Just like you. I’m glad you like it,” he said.

  “I do. You don’t play fair, Zane.” It was getting to be his signature move. Make her want him even more than she already did.

  “I swear to you, I had this bracelet ordered weeks ago, and then, well, the heart was just added on this week. You can’t fault a guy for trying.”