C is for Coochy Coo (Malibu Mystery Book 3)

by Sean Black

  “We’re fine,” said Sofia.

  “Water would be good.”

  Sofia glared at Aidan. She didn’t want Veronica to have a chance of reconsidering her decision to let them in.

  “Hey, I’m thirsty from the shock,” said Aidan, as Veronica disappeared into what must have been the kitchen. “It’s not every day you meet one of your sporting heroes only to find out that they’re now a chick. I mean, first Bruce Jenner becomes Caitlyn, and now this. What the hell’s going on?”

  “I’m guessing Wes decided, deep down inside, that he’d rather be Veronica.”

  Aidan threw his hands up. “What? How the hell does that happen? Okay, I get someone being born and when they’re a kid or a teenager realizing they’d got the wrong junk. I totally get that. But getting into your forties and deciding you want to be a chick, what’s up with that?”

  Sofia nodded toward the door. “Maybe this should be a discussion for later.”

  Right on cue, Veronica appeared with a glass of water. She walked over, a little unsteady on her high heels, and handed Aidan the glass. Sofia noticed Aidan couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with her, though he did manage to say, “Thank you.”

  “I’m assuming this is about Candice Carlson,” Veronica said, sitting on the couch opposite them.

  Boy, this was one interview that was full of surprises. “How did you know that?” Sofia asked.

  “It’s a small town,” said Veronica, crossing her legs. Damn, thought Sofia. She had a pretty amazing pair. “I’d heard you talked to that scumbag Walters. I have a couple of friends who work at his new club.”

  Of course she did, thought Sofia. “That should save us some time. So you know we’re trying to locate Daniel’s birth father?”

  “You are Wes Adams, right? I mean, were Wes Adams,” said Aidan, blundering in where angels would have feared to tread.

  “Yes,” said Veronica. “I was Wes. I’m in the process of transitioning. As you can probably tell.”

  “And you look great,” said Sofia.

  “It’s okay,” said Veronica. “You don’t have to kiss my ass. Not unless you really want to, of course.”

  “So you’ll help? You’ll give us a DNA sample?” Sofia asked.

  For a situation that definitely hadn’t gone like Sofia or Aidan had expected, this was actually turning out pretty well.

  “Of course,” said Veronica. “I’d be happy to.”

  Aidan was up on his feet. “That’s great. Awesome. Thanks for all your help. We should really be going. Sofia can arrange for our lab tech to come round and we’ll go from there.”

  Veronica stared at Aidan, and for a moment Sofia caught a glimpse of Wes, the hardened champion athlete. “Sit down. I’m not finished.”

  Aidan sat.

  “If I am Daniel’s father, and if I do turn out to be a match, I’m afraid it’s not going to be much help.”

  “I don’t understand,” said Sofia. “I mean, I know it’s not easy to make a decision to be a donor. Especially to a son you’ve not had a relationship with before. But you’d be saving his life.”

  “It’s not a question of whether I’d want to or not,” said Veronica. “It’s a question of whether I’d medically be able to. Right now I’m still transitioning, which involves a lot of hormone replacement and other drugs. It’s put some extra strain on my body as it is. I’m not sure my doctor would allow it. Or Daniel’s for that matter.” Veronica met Sofia’s gaze. “I just wanted you to know before this goes any further. If I can help I will, but I can’t make any promises.”

  CHAPTER 35

  A idan said barely anything as they got back into his Porsche. Sofia didn’t feel much like talking either. Veronica had given them a provisional DNA sample. They were going to drop it into the lab on their way back to the office. But even if it did prove she was Daniel’s father, it might not be of any help to Daniel.

  Of all the ways things might have worked out, this was one Sofia hadn’t seen coming. She’d braced herself for not finding Daniel’s dad, or for him refusing to help, but this seemed like a particularly bizarre twist of Fate. She had to keep reminding herself that in Los Angeles twists of Fate often tended toward the bizarre, even when they weren’t cruel.

  Aidan pulled up outside the lab. Sofia got out and ran inside with the sample. She handed it over, got a receipt and walked back to the car. The guy inside had said that they were running a special—buy ten, get one free―but when she’d asked about it, he’d told her he was joking. Apparently they didn’t usually get actresses bringing in so many paternity test samples in a row.

  “They said they could have a result for us by this evening so I paid for the express service,” Sofia said to Aidan, as she got back into the passenger seat.

  “The checks are really racking up on this thing,” said Aidan.

  It was an off-the-cuff remark. And she knew what he meant: because this case was pro bono, the agency was having to pay not just the expenses but also forgo the money they would have made working other paid cases. But something about the way he said it really ticked her off.

  “That’s all you can think about? A child is dying and you’re worried about expenses?”

  Aidan glared at her. “Spare me the sanctimony. Who was in the office first thing this morning?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? You think I haven’t been doing everything I can?”

  “I never said that.”

  “No, but you implied it.”

  “Look, cool it. Okay?”

  “Don’t you tell me to cool it,” Sofia snapped back.

  Aidan stared straight ahead. He didn’t say anything. He was gripping the steering wheel like a man possessed. Seconds passed. He started to say something, then stopped. More seconds passed. Finally, he asked, “I’m hungry. You hungry?”

  “I could eat.”

  They pulled into a parking lot two blocks further down where there was a Subway. After they’d got their sandwiches, they sat at a wooden picnic table outside and ate in silence.

  “I’m sorry for suggesting you don’t care about Daniel,” Sofia said to Aidan.

  “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have been bitching about the money we’re spending. I guess I was just ticked off.”

  Sofia swallowed a bite of sandwich. “About?”

  Aidan shrugged. “You think I’m upset because Wes Adams, a guy I looked up to, is now a woman called Veronica?”

  “I never said that.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “Well, are you?”

  Aidan took a sip of iced water and put the cup down. “No, but you know what does get me?”

  Sofia gave him a go-ahead look.

  “It’s like we’re all so politically correct, these days, that no one’s even supposed to say anything. You knock on Wes Adams’s door and it’s answered by Veronica Adams. It’s weird. There, I said it! It’s freakin’ weird. I’m not saying it’s wrong. It’s his life. Whatever gets you through the day and all that jazz. But everyone carrying on like nothing’s happened is just as weird,” said Aidan.

  “You feel better for getting that off your chest?”

  “I’m not a hater, I’m just saying.”

  “I know. Weird. I got it.”

  Aidan spun round so that he was sitting on the edge of the wooden picnic bench. “I dunno sometimes. This town.”

  Sofia sensed Aidan wasn’t still talking about people undergoing gender re-assignment. “What about it?”

  Aidan’s jaw clenched. “We got a sick kid, right? A kid who’s going to die if he doesn’t get help. So we go round to all these guys, and the first thing, no, the only thing they can think about is how it might affect their situation. It’s messed up.”

  “I think that might be the reaction of men in lots of places. Not just here.”

  “Not so many. It’s this place. It brings out the selfishness in people.”

  “Or,” Sofia suggested, “it attracts people who’re se
lfish anyway.”

  “I guess that could be it,” agreed Aidan. “It’s an asshole magnet.”

  “But there are good people too. You have to remember that.”

  “I guess,” said Aidan. He picked up his water cup and tossed it into the garbage. “Come on, let’s head back to the office.”

  CHAPTER 36

  Sofia and Aidan were back at their desks at Maloney Investigations when Brendan walked in. Usually he said hello and headed for his office. That afternoon he grabbed a spare chair and slumped into it.

  “You okay?” Sofia asked him, dreading the answer. She knew he’d been to the hospital to check in with Candice and Daniel.

  “Just give me a minute, would you?”

  Even Aidan spun round in his seat to see what was up.

  “Can I get you anything?” Sofia asked Brendan. “Coffee? Water?”

  “A glass of water would be good.”

  Sofia walked over to the cooler and filled a plastic cup. She went back to Brendan and handed it to him.

  “Thanks.” Brendan took a sip. “I saw Daniel.”

  “How is he?” Aidan asked. Like Sofia, he seemed to be dreading one of the possible answers.

  “He’s hanging in there,” said Brendan.

  Sofia almost let out a sigh of relief.

  “But I don’t know how long he’s going to last,” Brendan added, and her heart sank again.

  “What are the doctors saying?” Aidan asked his father.

  “They don’t know. He could rally and have a few months. Or it could be weeks. Or his condition could deteriorate and he might have just a few more days,” said Brendan. He pushed himself up from the chair. “One thing’s for sure. Without a transplant it’s just a matter of when, not if.” He started toward his office and stopped in the doorway. “How’d your meet with Wes Adams go?”

  Sofia jumped in before Aidan could say anything. The last thing Brendan needed right this second was more bad news. “Good. He was happy to give us a DNA sample and help out in any way he can. Right, Aidan?”

  Aidan gave her a look that suggested he wasn’t sure what the hell she was playing at, but he’d play along for now.

  “You think he’s a prospect?” Brendan directed the question to Aidan.

  “I dunno. Maybe,” said Aidan. He obviously wanted to move the conversation on before Brendan could ask any more questions about their visit.

  “Come on,” said Brendan. “Star athlete. In top physical condition. At least, he would have been when he met Candice. He’s got a bunch of kids so we know there are bullets in his gun. If you’ll pardon the expression, Sofia.”

  “Expression pardoned,” said Sofia.

  “So how was Wes looking? Still in great shape?” asked Brendan.

  “Great shape!” said Sofia. “Best shape of his life.”

  “Really?” said Brendan.

  “Oh, yeah,” said Aidan. “I almost didn’t recognize him.”

  “Huh,” said Brendan, puzzled. “I wonder how he’s managing to keep it up.”

  Aidan and Sofia shrugged.

  “Clean living,” said Sofia.

  “You think?” said Brendan. “Because that wasn’t his reputation when he was playing in the NBA. Maybe he’s taking something. A lot of guys that age get testosterone replacement therapy. You think that’s it, Aidan?”

  “Definitely could be something he’s taking.”

  “Yeah, that’s probably it, then,” said Brendan, wandering back into his office and closing the door.

  “Why didn’t you want to tell him?” Aidan said to Sofia.

  “He’s already had a hard day. And, we don’t even know yet if Wes, I mean, Veronica, actually is Daniel’s father. If the test comes back positive we can tell him then.”

  “I guess. But I don’t like lying to him. Not after everything that’s already gone down.”

  “We’re not lying. We’re just not telling him the full story,” said Sofia.

  “I don’t think that’s how my old man will see it.”

  “Okay, you want to go in there and tell him our prime candidate is becoming a woman and it might keep him from donating a kidney so this whole thing was just a waste of time?”

  “You’re right,” said Aidan. “It can wait a day.”

  CHAPTER 37

  By the time Sofia got home to Nirvana Cove, she was exhausted. She was still suffering from a hangover and the day’s events had left her drained. All she wanted to do was eat dinner, feed Fred, change into her pajamas, get into bed, and go to sleep. She had just started to raid the refrigerator when her cell phone beeped with an event alert. That was funny. She couldn’t remember having anything scheduled. She walked from the kitchen into the living room and picked up her phone.

  Of course. It had totally slipped her mind. Her mom had scheduled a family dinner for eight o’clock. Janet, Tim, Emily, Ray, and their two kids, Van and Violet, would be there. Ugh. The last thing she wanted to do right now was get changed and drive to the Valley. But if she bailed, especially at the last minute, she’d never hear the end of it. Her mom set great store by family time and was always complaining that since Sofia had started working at the agency she never got to see her.

  There was nothing for it. She’d have to suck it up. She could always make her excuses and duck out early. Or maybe even take some clothes with her and crash there if she felt too tired to drive back to Malibu.

  She had a quick shower, put on a dress (one nice thing about LA was that she could wear a summer dress pretty much year round), then grabbed what she’d need if she decided to stay over and go to work from her mom’s place.

  Carrying an overnight bag, Sofia left her trailer and headed back up to the car park where she’d left the Tesla. She unhooked it from the charging bay, threw her bag into the trunk, and got in just as her cell phone rang.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “You haven’t forgotten about tonight, have you?”

  “No, I’m just leaving my place.”

  “Your sister, Ray and the kids are already here.”

  A crash in the background was followed by Van and Violet shouting, “We’re okay!”

  “I can hear that,” said Sofia. “I should be there in forty-five minutes to an hour. depending on traffic.”

  There was another loud crash, and Janet yelled, “Tim! Can you make sure they’re okay? Oh, Jeez, why’d you let them have the air compressor?” Then she dropped the call.

  Sofia adored her niece and nephew but they were a force of nature. And not like a soothing shower: they were more like a cyclone that swept up and destroyed everything in its path. Violet was obsessed with combat and martial arts, and Van had decided the best way to figure out how something worked was to take it apart. And he wanted to know how everything worked.

  LATER THAT NIGHT, Van jabbed his fork into the steak on his plate, looked around the perfectly laid dinner table and asked, “Anyone here want to know how they kill cows?”

  “What have we said about certain subjects being inappropriate while people are eating, Van?” Emily asked.

  “But it’s science,” said Van.

  Down the table Violet put her hand in the air. “I know! I know! They choke ’em out. Like, there’s this big guy who wears like this leather apron thing, and he puts his arm around the cow’s neck and cuts off their air supply, and they fall over, and he chokes them. To death! Although like this one cow, he like flipped the guy over and landed on top of him and pretty much broke his back.” All this was delivered in a rapid staccato. Violet paused for dramatic effect, and looked around the table. “True story!”

  “No,” said Van. “They shoot them in the head with a bolt gun. And like they poo themselves. Then they cut their throats, hang them up on a big metal hook and cut them up. And that’s how we get this delicious steak. Cool, huh?”

  “I heard that cow farts are why we have global warming,” said Violet.

  “Yeah, methane,” said Van. “The farts go up in the air and destroy the o
zone layer.”

  “Okay! Okay!” said their father, Ray. “No more cow talk.”

  Van started to protest but Emily cut him off. “Van! Enough!”

  “No wonder we’re falling behind the Chinese when no one wants to know about science stuff,” Van grumbled.

  At the head of the table, Janet poured herself a fresh glass of wine. “Violet, why don’t you tell us how you’re doing in school?” she said, all grandmotherly sweetness.

  “School’s totally bitchin’, Grandma.” said Violet, a picture of perfect innocence.

  “Violet!” warned Ray.

  “Sorry, I mean it’s great,” said Violet.

  “That’s better,” said Emily.

  “I’m very glad to hear it,” said Janet.

  “Van?” Tim asked. “How are you enjoying school?”

  “It’s okay, I guess. The principal got mad at me last week and put me in detention for, like, nothing.”

  “I’m sure it wasn’t for nothing,” said Tim. “What happened?”

  “Van and Violet’s principal uses a prosthetic leg to get around,” said Ray.

  “Alligator bit it off,” said Violet.

  “It was a car accident,” Emily corrected.

  “It’s like a robotic leg. Super-cool,” said Van. “It has a micro-processor in the knee and, like, hydraulics.”

  Tim, like pretty much everyone else round the dinner table, had a fair idea where this story might be headed. But, also like everyone else, curiosity got the better of him so he decided not to change the subject. “What did you do?”

  “Well,” said Van, deadly serious, “I kinda had a theory that if it was like supercharged then maybe he could run really fast.”

  “He plugged it into a car battery,” said Emily.

  “Mom!” Van protested. “I wanted to tell that part.”

  “Experiment didn’t work, then?” said Sofia.

  “Nope. It short-circuited,” said Van.

  “There was smoke!” said Violet, wide-eyed.

  “He was kinda mad,” said Van. “Even though I was just trying to help.”

  Yup, thought Sofia. That sounded like a fairly typical week in the life of her niece and nephew. Blowing up the principal’s robotic leg.